EricOnTheWeb Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I took him to a,World Of Outlaws race last Monday and we had a good time. One thing I noticed is that I am so much bigger than him now,I mean taller and more muscular. He is walking different,slower and not as energetic(he's 63 years old). His face is getting thinner and his hair is almost gone,it sucks. I'm finding that when I try to help him at his house,helping him lift things or whatever...he'll get defensive and tell me that "he's got it" It seems he doesn't want to give in to his age and feels like **** when he can't lift as much as he use to.. I hope he has a long time left,I'm noticing him slowing down and starting to wonder what it will be like with him no longer around... Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I know how it feels. My father is 69 now and has had lots of problems including open heart surgery, a stroke and emphysema. Luckily, he's wise enough not to push himself too much anymore, though he was like your dad when he first started to dwindle. Link to post Share on other sites
champagne Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 It is tough to see that. I don't see my dad anymore, and my mom has passed on due to cancer, but seeing my Grandma at age 91 and how she is slowing down, etc. is really tough. But I have been spending a lot of time with her, at least you still have lots of good times left with your dad. Link to post Share on other sites
Great Gazoo Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I know how you feel. My dad is 72 and his body is starting to slow down. He still pushes himself but he is finding some jobs he just can't do anymore but I always let him try first before I step in, I don't want him to feel as if I am stepping on his toes. I work with him just about everyday and I don't know how I will manage when he is gone. I will miss his wisdom and leadership and his advice. Getting old sucks because it means my parents are getting that much closer to being gone. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I took him to a,World Of Outlaws race last Monday and we had a good time. One thing I noticed is that I am so much bigger than him now,I mean taller and more muscular. He is walking different,slower and not as energetic(he's 63 years old). His face is getting thinner and his hair is almost gone,it sucks. I'm finding that when I try to help him at his house,helping him lift things or whatever...he'll get defensive and tell me that "he's got it" It seems he doesn't want to give in to his age and feels like **** when he can't lift as much as he use to.. I hope he has a long time left,I'm noticing him slowing down and starting to wonder what it will be like with him no longer around... It's hard to accept aging and the inability to do things you've always been able to do. Eventually, people do accept the limitations that come with aging, they have to. Some just take longer to accept that. If you think he's pushing himself too far, why don't you talk with him and let him know that you're concerned that he might get injured or something. Try saying it in a way that won't make him feel like he'll be any trouble to you. That might be what he's afraid of - of burdening you and others if he starts failing physically. It's never any trouble anyway to care for the ones you love, so just let him know that you want him to stay safe, and you'll be there when he needs any help. Don't think too much about not having him around. Spend time with him when you can, and be happy that you can do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 it is hard to see your mother and Father age. the biggest decline is not in the body but in the spirit. At 63 he should still be very active and alive. i ski with some guys who are older then that. One or two can put guys in their 20s to shame on the slopes. studies have shown that with a good exercise routine a man can recapture almost all his physical abilities he had in his 20s. This was a Harvard medical school study. the school had access to the records of men who when in Harvard took part in a study at the beginning of the space program. This is back in the early 1960s. So they had a great record of the men at the height of their Physical youth. many of these men lead the typical American lifestyle. Now in their mid to late 60s they had the problems we see with many Americans of that age. Many had heart problems and were overweight. out of shape The study put them on a diet and exercise program. Within 6 weeks all the 15 who were part of the test were within 10% of their of the test results they had when they were in their early 20s. i believe that a few who had never run before in their lives did the Boston marathon. 63 should not be old. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 it's not the numeric age, but what they've had to deal with ... my dad turns 78 in July and has become a little old man in this past year. A lot of it has to do with my mom's death in 2003, a lot of it has to do with chronic illness. The worst part of it is that he just has no energy – the joke used to be that if you wanted to find Daddy, you either called the WalMart in the neighboring town or the taco shops! it's scary, because it's almost like he's at the point where my mom was a couple of years before she died – I'm not ready to deal with it. But, you've got to do the best you can do, and pretty much be their happy phone call or visit even as it kills you to see them slip away ... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 yea my dad just retired after having a mild stroke 6 months ago. he's 70 now and I can see hes and old man now. 30 years ago he used to kick the crap outta me when i was bad. now he's frail and takes like 10 different medications daily. i think that stroke he had aged him like 5 yrs overnite... now he just messes around the house wathcing TV and reading and playing with the dog. its strange to see. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Bee Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I know how you feel Eric. My dad is 65 now, he still works super hard and is ALWAYS on the go. But I had a dark realization not too long ago. I know it probably sounds dumb coming from a girl my age. But I realized after looking at how his hair has receded and is almost fully white, and how the lines have deepened on his face. That he's not going to be here forever. It just never struck me before because he's still in amazing shape from working so hard all his life. But what happens when he stops? I think that's why he is having a hard time retiring. He's afraid that his health will go down hill after he quits working himself so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricOnTheWeb Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Wow guys,thanx... I'm going to try and spend more time with him and not be so snappy with him when we work on cars or whatever. He is always on the go(don't get me wrong) he is still very active. Just that last week he fell off the step ladder TWICE in the same day while painting over the front door of his house(unusual for a man who climbed ladders as a roofer for over 30 years). I think,for me,is that I hope I can finally show him that I can be "more" than I am right now. I know he would love me to give him a grandchild,and he would enjoy that alot,but with my relationship situation and my drama in that respect,I don't think I'll ever get to that point. In my current drama of wanting a GF,and all my own demons eating me away,I feel that it is taking away from showing him I can be alot more.. I guess I feel more pressured by that,and hope he has time left to see me as successful. (Eric) Link to post Share on other sites
Zona76 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 One thing Eric is to know he doesn't want to feel old. When you help him it makes him feel old. Allow him to do what he can then step up and say, "Pop, I was always too young to help do things around the house. Too weak to lift those huge cans of paint. I couldn't help you then. I'm asking now, Can I work with you? Can we be guys together?" I remember when my dad was getting on. He shouldn't have been able to drive. His reflexes were slow. He just didn't see or hear as well. And he'd drive on the freeway at 30 MPH. So I instead asked if I could go with him... and can I drive your truck Dad? I love your truck. It's so cool. Its a manner of tactics. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 And he'd drive on the freeway at 30 MPH. jesus christ i passed him coming over here. he was in the fast lane with his blinker going for miles Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Sixty-three is NOT old. I turn 61 in a couple of months and "old" isn't even in my vocabulary as yet. My children range in age from 19 to 37 and my grandchildren from 1 to 14. You should be glad your father's getting older. It certainly beats the alternative. My mother died (cancer) when I was 43 and my father (willed himself to death) when I was 44. Barring the unforseen, your father should have a whole bunch of good years left to him. Sure he's slowed down, put on weight, lost some hair and may not have that old bounce in his step but that's the human condition. At just two years younger I'm still active, involved, working and thoroughly enjoying life, in fact much more than I did when I was younger. Remember, one day that will be you. Embrace it, and him! Granted, he won't be around forever, but then again, none of us will. For me, a "good day" is any day I awake with pulse and respiration and a "good hair day" is one in which I wake up with more hair on my head than is left on the pillow. Given my two former professions (soldier and cop) a REALLY good day is when in which no one's shooting at me and no one wants to! By the way, if my father was still alive I think he'd be very proud of where I am right now. In fact, I know it, and it matters! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricOnTheWeb Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 Hey,everyone...just got back from another sprint car race,OMG...those things are unbelievable. Anyways dad went with ,and it was a good time. I just hope nothing happens to him right now as far as medical conditions and such,I couldn't deal with it in my current self drama. Ya'll are very smart,and I feel better about it,lol...thanks guys.. P.S. Link to post Share on other sites
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