i just want her back so bad

[Forever isnt so long]

so my ex says to her friends that she still cares but i dont kno anymore. she means the world to me and i would do anything to have her back. i sent her a card with just a few things in it about how i feel and saying that i was sry. but some of the things she says makes me feel like she cares and others makes me feel like she hates me. i just want her back and its been three weeks since the break up i cant focus on anything but her. i sleep and there she is, i hear her voice, i see her smile on her face, i hear her laugh at one of my corny jokes, i feel her brush my cheek as i sleep. i just want to kno if there is any thing i can do. ive left her alone like she requested for 2 weeks now but i think that its just pushing her away bc we dont see eachother. i want her to kno that i would do anything to get her back. i dont understand how she can say she loves me and that She can live without me one day but then all of a sudden its like she doesnt even think im alive. i dont think shed even notice if i died tonight. i just miss her so much and it hurts. everynight i cry myself to sleep and wake up at 3 in the morning and pray to God that she comes back. i just cant see myself with out her. please someone help me

[Touche]

I'm so sorry for your pain. Can you tell us what led to the break-up? In the meantime you're right to stay away. If you push you will push her further away.

 

Try not to think about this so much for now. Writing about it may help though. You'll be fine.

[Forever isnt so long]

well it started on the friday b4 the break up where she was with her friends and i got pissed because there was guys there. then on that saterday she hungout with this kid i dont like. hes a real ass and he flirts with her too much. i always told myself that i trusted her but i dont trust the guys she hangs with. then on mothers day the day of the break up i told her not to hug any guys and who to hang out with. so it was my jealousy and my tendency to controll her. and i think im starting to change but i just want to prove that to her. and idk how i can do that. but i love more than life and i thought she felt the same way but after all this im questioning our "love" because if you love someone you have to be willing to work on the relationship.

[Touche]

May I ask how old you are? And how long have you two been dating?

 

You do sound a little controlling. You shouldn't have "told" her who to hang out and what to do. You can ask but you don't own her you know.

 

You say you "think" you're starting to change. How do you know? What's different now? I mean you changed in just a few days?

 

I'd guess you guys are really young. It doesn't sound to me like this girl wants an exclusive relationship with you. She wants to hang out and have fun. You might just have to accept that and date other girls.

 

I know when I was really young, I didn't want to only hang out with one guy all the time. I wanted to see what was out there. It's perfectly normal. I just don't think she wants what you want. And if you keep telling her that she can't hang out with other people you'll push her away even further.

 

So either accept her as she is or find another girlfriend. You said you trust her but not the guys. That doesn't really make sense. You either trust her or you don't. Other guys, can't make her do things she doesn't want to do.

 

So really, by telling her she can't be around other guys, you are telling her that you don't trust her.

[Forever isnt so long]

well i am 19, and she is 17. i think ive changed because i relized how much of a douche i was being towards her. and ive always told myself that i wasnt goin to be like that. we were goin out for a year and everything was great. it was our 1 year annaversary 5 days b4 the break up and i made her a great dinner, massaged her feet because she said they hurt, made her dessert. and we were completely happy. but it seems that after all i did for her she was willing to just give up on the relationship. she was the one who started all the things about marriage, kids and our future i just went along with it because i really loved her and i felt the same way about our future. but i think if i got the second chance than i could prove to her how much she means to me and that she is my queen and that everything i do is for her. like it has always been, but this time without all the jealiousy or controllingness. i just dont kno how i let it get to this point where i would push her away with my actions. i always said i loved her but i guess actions speak louder than words and when i acted all jealous i guess i showed her that i was an ass. i just think that now that ive lost her ive gotten to motivation i needed to change because b4 it was a fear of losing her bt now that it happend it showed me. i think that if she new that i had bettered myself than she would come back but if i dont see her than its harder to show her ive changed. how do i show her when i cant see her?? what should i do to get her back??