Jealousy question for the guys...

[Starlight Starbright]

Hi everyone.

 

 

I'm just curious. My ex was incredibly jealous. He said guys and girls can never just be friends. He also felt like he had to warn me about any guy I cam into contact with. My eccentric 60-year old coworker wanted to have lunch with me, and my ex INSISTEd he was a dirty old man. There were many more instances like this. He also had an issue with me wearing tank tops, skirts, or tight pants (which is completely ridiculous, I know). One time, I was wearing a wife beater and he spoke in a raised voice to me in public "I'm not going anywhere with you when everyone is staring at your tits."

 

So guys, does it mean that he was super jealous because HE had the super dirty mind? Was he staring at every girl's tits? I'm guessing he was always struggling to contain these urges within himself ( he had cheated on a couple of exes in the past), and so he projected this all onto me . . .

 

I'm interested in hearing personal experiences.

[Pyro]

Hi everyone.

 

 

I'm just curious. My ex was incredibly jealous. He said guys and girls can never just be friends. He also felt like he had to warn me about any guy I cam into contact with. My eccentric 60-year old coworker wanted to have lunch with me, and my ex INSISTEd he was a dirty old man. There were many more instances like this. He also had an issue with me wearing tank tops, skirts, or tight pants (which is completely ridiculous, I know). One time, I was wearing a wife beater and he spoke in a raised voice to me in public "I'm not going anywhere with you when everyone is staring at your tits."

 

So guys, does it mean that he was super jealous because HE had the super dirty mind? Was he staring at every girl's tits? I'm guessing he was always struggling to contain these urges within himself ( he had cheated on a couple of exes in the past), and so he projected this all onto me . . .

 

I'm interested in hearing personal experiences.

 

That is very insecure and jealous on his behalf. I am glad to hear that he is an ex.

 

Guys and girls can be friends, but both sides have to feel that way.

 

Anyone who tells you different about that are the ones who only became friends with the opposite sex because they wanted something more.

[oppath]

I like a woman I'm with to wear clothes that make her look attractive and I like other guys looking at her to an extent because, hey, SHE'S MINE, LOOK AT WHAT I GOT. At the same time, yes, I am wary of other guys and how they interact with my girl. Your ex had a minimal point in that most guys, if they are new people you met and are being social with you, probably has some interest. My expectation is that a girl I am with would make it known to them pretty quickly she as a boyfriend, such as "my boyfriend and I did this this weekend". I expect my girlfriends NOT to start hanging out with new men they encounter as friends one-on-one right away, for that friendship to be built over time through group situations and by me being included in getting to know the new person.

 

This is different than a coworker saying "lunch?" Someone talking to my girl at a party, etc.

 

Your ex sounds very insecure and jealous. If you were to meet a guy at a party, for example, and your ex wasn't there to meet him two, and that guy had tickets to, I don't know, some event you wanted to go to like your favorite sports team, I feel he'd have every right to express a little jealousy about you saying yes to that invitation considering there wasn't a context for your friendship with him, but the area gets gray in this example, not going to lunch with a coworker.

 

Many guys will not care if a girl has a boyfriend and still try with her (to the girl not knowing it), so yes, I am wary of new guys, but I like them paying some attention to a girl I am dating.