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NC broken by dumper... curious!


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hey guys,

 

the whole story is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119904/

 

basically to summarise, my ex and i broke up about a month ago and he ignored me on and off since then (he claimed he wanted to work it out, still loved me etc and we organisedto catch up a few times but he cancelled... the last time he just didn't turn up and never called or mesaged etc.). Anyway I cut contact completely and started moving on. I got a message from him saturday night (2.30 am - so probably drunk) sayign we can't be friends. I replied (quite harshly..) and said that was fine, bye etc.

 

Didn't attempt to contact him at all, and I then got a message from him on thursday morning saying "hey.. long time no talk, how you been?". i didn't reply but did talk to him on msn briefly where he backed right off again. I told him basically not to contact me again if he couldn't be open and honest about what was going on, after everything we'd been through. havent' heard anything since from him.

 

Considering the lack of interest and contact he showed since the break up, and the message on sat night... I'm a bit lost as to what this latest contact from him might mean....

 

Was he just trying to see if his options were still open? just lonely? was NC 'working'? Possibly looking for a reconciliation (which I've probably blown anyway now in the way I handled it)? Or moved on, assumed I had, and was just genuinely asking how I was? etc etc. Either way, it just seemed very bizarre!

 

Thanks for all your help guys =]

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BellaXX yes No Contact was working but u mess it up, go back to no contact for over a month or more if must!! trust it works, I know from experience...NO TEXT, NO MSN, NO EMAIL NO NOTHING!!!! for a male it takes longer for us to remember what we had in our hands...Move on with your life and focus on yourself because thats what No Contact is for!! date date date other people keep it light, Jealous works wonders when a guy sees his prize in the arms of another man, who knows u might have someone else and u may not even want your x back, trust me I know....dont fall for his words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is just to suck u in...ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....Learn to act indifferent, practice "Apathy" and "Aloof".....U'll heal but give it time....He'll be back but give it time..but in the mean time fall from the face of the earth, just vanish...dont offer your words of love, no more relationship talks, no nothing...Like Love Shack member 2ndIInone says "Advice so easy to give, but hard to follow" LISTEN LISTEN TO my words...Dont worry about what he goes with other females it is no longer your business, just like what u do is no longer his business, dont think in the past, think present, cuz the good times are gone!!! Remove anything that reminds u of him....New Hope

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thanks for the reply new hope!! You advice did really help. I guess while I cut all other contact, there was still the temptation to speak online, which defeats the purpose.

 

I guess my problem at the moment isn't so much maintaining the no contact (I have deleted his number from my phone, and have him blocked on msn to avoid what happened last time)... but trying to work out what the motive is behind it? He's so hot and cold. When we first broke (after we;d organised to meet up once and it fell thru) we tried to meet up again (on a tuesday)... the week before it I was getting messages from him saying he missed me and was thinking of me, and that I could call him any time I wanted etc.. we organised to talk over the phone (the friday before we were going to meet in person), and I never heard from him again... he wouldn't take my calls that night , or answer messages, spoke briefly online and then he never turned up tuesday, and never messaged or called to tell me why then, or in the week after.

 

I guess what I'm struggling with is the fact that he went from telling me he would love me forever, and couldn't see himself without me, that i was his future... then he cut me out of his life so extremely, without an explanation why and didn't seem to look back... but once I stop contact, he messages me so flippantly.. I just don't get what he wanted from me, esp. after telling me we couldn't be friends. It's just really thrown me, and now I guess I'm trying to find reasons behind why, when there probably aren't any.

 

The way he handled the break up I guess I can't really see him coming back... but then it doesn't really explain his contacting me again. I'm scared it's some kind of head game that he's playing to get an ego boost for himself, to see if I'm still available and waiting for him, or if he really was actually reaching out (why?!?) to me for something (what?!?). I'm just so confused!!!

 

Any guys out there done this/understand this at all??? I'm going nuts trying to decipher it!! haha

 

Thanks, Bella

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Bella everything u mention I've done or live thru.....Stop trying to decipher what he is thinking is not worth it..................Move on with your life...I thought I couldnt picture my life without X, but life keeps going forward not back...is not worth killing yourself for a person who only sees you as an option............NO CONTACT HIS ASS FOR GOOD UNTIL over a month has gone by...NO FORM OF CONTACT WHATS SO EVER....AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT HIS MOVES ARE...

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