Ricky Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 Since we got married one year ago, I feel my wife takes me for granted. I just don't feel like I am special to her, now I am just "normal", her friends and family are the special ones. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Cecilie Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 Well...have you talked to her about how you feel? Since we got married one year ago, I feel my wife takes me for granted. I just don't feel like I am special to her, now I am just "normal", her friends and family are the special ones. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Ricky Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 Yes, she agrees with me in that now we are "normal" then asked me what she should do. I want to say "just treat me more special" but I am having a hard time defineing what that means. Well...have you talked to her about how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Simmer Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 Yes, she agrees with me in that now we are "normal" then asked me what she should do. I want to say "just treat me more special" but I am having a hard time defineing what that means. Do you know what you mean? Do you want her to spend more time with you and give you more attention? Could you be a little jealous of the time she spends with her friends and family? Maybe you should plan something just for the two of you, like preparing her a candlelight dinner. Arrange some "special time" together when you both can clear your minds of the daily grind. Every married couple settles in after awhile and life goes on, but you need to create a little excitement sometimes. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Ricky Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 I'm coming to the same conclusion... I wanted her to do something spontaneously, I hate to ask for it, seems like it should just be there. I know, I know, unrealistic. Thanks! Do you know what you mean? Do you want her to spend more time with you and give you more attention? Could you be a little jealous of the time she spends with her friends and family? Maybe you should plan something just for the two of you, like preparing her a candlelight dinner. Arrange some "special time" together when you both can clear your minds of the daily grind. Every married couple settles in after awhile and life goes on, but you need to create a little excitement sometimes. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Simmer Posted December 14, 1999 Share Posted December 14, 1999 I'm coming to the same conclusion... I wanted her to do something spontaneously, I hate to ask for it, seems like it should just be there. I know, I know, unrealistic. Thanks! I know what you mean. I have been going thru the "spontinaity" thing too with my boyfriend. Seems he never has time or enery for sex, but we're working on that. With everyones busy lives, it's like we have to pencil in our main squeeze. We all need to stop and take a deep breath! Link to post Share on other sites
Cecilie Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 The biggest problem most couples have nowadays is that they don't really talk. I don't mean sit there and blather at each other. I mean like really communicate. You should feel comfortable enough with a preson you will hopefully be connected to for life that you can talk about your feelings and desires... Link to post Share on other sites
Guy Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 It's rough dealing with this type of issue. Being a man makes it even more difficult in some way because it's expected that women get flowers and small tokens of affection to make them feel special. Unfortunately us guys are supposed to be fine without anything to make us feel special so it's hard to explain to someone that we love it too. Plus I agree entirely on your point of not wanting to tell her. When you have to tell someone what to do how special does that make you feel? Not very for me. Seems like if she was thinking about you now and then she'd think of something nice to do for you on her own. The biggest problem most couples have nowadays is that they don't really talk. I don't mean sit there and blather at each other. I mean like really communicate. You should feel comfortable enough with a preson you will hopefully be connected to for life that you can talk about your feelings and desires... Link to post Share on other sites
Cecilie Posted December 16, 1999 Share Posted December 16, 1999 I understand what you mean. I try to make my boyfriend feel special by cooking his favorite foods, or giving him foot massages at night before we go to sleep. He never has to ask because I make sure to help him out, especailly when he's stressed out. But I know a lot of women don't do this for their men...they expect to be treated well without reciprocating. I used to be like that, but when I fell madly in love, I just felt like doing those things for him. It was weird... It's rough dealing with this type of issue. Being a man makes it even more difficult in some way because it's expected that women get flowers and small tokens of affection to make them feel special. Unfortunately us guys are supposed to be fine without anything to make us feel special so it's hard to explain to someone that we love it too. Plus I agree entirely on your point of not wanting to tell her. When you have to tell someone what to do how special does that make you feel? Not very for me. Seems like if she was thinking about you now and then she'd think of something nice to do for you on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
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