loveinlife Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Why do girls play mind games? How to win the game? Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Anyone who continuously plays mind games is, in my opinion, immature. What's to be gained from this kind of behaviour? Talk about insecurity. Why would you want to win? There's no prize here. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
reef man Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Why do girls play mind games? How to win the game? You don't try to win the game, you just pay them no mind. The ones that play mind games aren't worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Why do girls play mind games? How to win the game? You maybe need to be a bit more specific if you want some proper discussion going. Do you feel someone is playing a game with/trying to manipulate you just now - and if so, what is it about their behaviour that makes you feel that? As far as "winning the game" goes, I think there are a lot of books out there that deal with this by dipping into various psychological theories and abusing them. By abuse, I mean that these theories were developed with the intention of understanding people and promoting better mental health in those who have faulty, destructive ways of thinking. The "how to manipulate" theories seem more geared towards helping people to encourage faulty, unhealthy thinking in others, and then exploit it for their own ends. Very manipulative people seem to me to generally be operating from a victim stance, and constantly search for (temporary) ways of escaping that awful feeling of being a victim by making victims/rescuers of others. The "others" they're liable to manipulate most successfully are probably unhappily stuck in similar patterns of thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Cool Breeze Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Mind games are definitely not gender specific. Link to post Share on other sites
BonneKarma Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Agreed, people only play mind games when they're not ready for a mature, committed relationship. This could either be because they lack self esteem, maturity or positive examples of how to have a healthy relationship. It means they have some work to do, on themselves. The only way to win is to respect yourself enough to move on. It's fine to be honest and let the person know what behaviour of theirs you feel is 'game-playing', that way they may get a wake up call and start working on correcting that while they're single... Link to post Share on other sites
socialight Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Why? 1. Ego boost and/or 2. To make you to make a move and/or 3. To spice it up and/or 4. To see what you are made of How to win? 1. Don't play 2. Make a move if interested 3. Play along and escalate 4. Don't let it affect your stance To differentiate between Ego boost and Other reasons...take it on you and make a move or two.....if not successful, call her on it without emotions, wait with firm consistency a second, peacefuly leave, rip apart her number and dont turn back. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 If your plays games maybe you should dump the girl and find yourself a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Why do girls play mind games? Same reasons why some men play mind games too. How to win the game? Don't play the game back, walk away. I agree with the others, game playing is immature and very high schoolish (is that a word?? Schoolish?) and isn't worth wasting energy on. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 If your plays games maybe you should dump the girl and find yourself a woman. ....in rest home:D Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Mind games are definitely not gender specific. Girls being on receiving end and being the "weaker" sex, they are more prone to this behaviour. Which excuses some of them; some on the other hand take advantage of it big time. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Girls being on receiving end and being the "weaker" sex, they are more prone to this behaviour. Which excuses some of them; some on the other hand take advantage of it big time. Women are not the weaker sex but they use that stereotype in order to play mind games. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Women are not the weaker sex but they use that stereotype in order to play mind games. They are the weaker sex. Some women are stronger than some men but generally they are weaker sex. If only measured by pure physical strenght. When shyt hits a fan you can see that. They cant afford to be straight forward and assertive as men can. Thats why they evolved so subtle tactics. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 If someone plays mind games with you, drop them like they're hot. The fact that people persist in playing mind games is more than a little dependent on the fact that someone allows them to play them. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 How do you define "winning?" Are you trying to vanquish your opponent, to defeat your foe, to gain the upper hand and leave them diminshed? Or do you define winning as breaking through the games and finding a middle ground where you both can live together without the games and manipulation? Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Well, I think the 'game' thats being played needs to be defined. I mean, maybe whats being interepreted as a mind game could really be just a girl/guy being shy. I am curious to what type of game this girl is playing. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 How do you define "winning?" Are you trying to vanquish your opponent, to defeat your foe, to gain the upper hand and leave them diminshed? Or do you define winning as breaking through the games and finding a middle ground where you both can live together without the games and manipulation? Good question Theoretical problem.....you cant fight with goal of finding middle ground - you will lose. You have to fight to win and then you can take it nice and easy and return to the middle once sense of honesty and integrity have strong roots on enemy territory Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Isn't it better just to get out of a relationship like that? Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Well, I think the 'game' thats being played needs to be defined. I mean, maybe whats being interepreted as a mind game could really be just a girl/guy being shy. I am curious to what type of game this girl is playing. You never know thats the whole point. From experience if she cant get over her fears (rejection, shyness, lost control or power) for you, she is not worth the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
layercakegal Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 i dont understand what you mean by 'mind games' as such? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Theoretical problem.....you cant fight with goal of finding middle ground - you will lose. You have to fight to win and then you can take it nice and easy and return to the middle once sense of honesty and integrity have strong roots on enemy territory Good points, but who said anything about fighting? As an analogy, business entities often propose joining together on a common project. When they come together to agree on things, it isn't a fight, where each comes in with a killer instinct to vanquish the enemy, then back down to a middle ground. Ideally, the parties enter with "enlightened self-interest", confidently advocating for their own positions, while still keeping an open mind to compromise in the interest of the common goal. The beginning phases are somewhat of a game, and it's considered a "win" if the negotiation is successful, and if everyone gets what they think they need out of it, and in the best cases, you then get past the games and, with a solid framework laid, move on to getting the real work done. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Good points, but who said anything about fighting? As an analogy, business entities often propose joining together on a common project. When they come together to agree on things, it isn't a fight, where each comes in with a killer instinct to vanquish the enemy, then back down to a middle ground. Ideally, the parties enter with "enlightened self-interest", confidently advocating for their own positions, while still keeping an open mind to compromise in the interest of the common goal. The beginning phases are somewhat of a game, and it's considered a "win" if the negotiation is successful, and if everyone gets what they think they need out of it, and in the best cases, you then get past the games and, with a solid framework laid, move on to getting the real work done. Ba da bing. It's not a death struggle over who will dominate. It's a reasonable compromise between the two parties over wants, needs and desires. To use the word of another poster in this thread, if you dominate, you "diminish" the self-esteem of the other person. In bringing them back to middle ground, you make them dependent. This is the abuser/victim cycle. A doormat is not attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Good points, but who said anything about fighting? As an analogy, business entities often propose joining together on a common project. When they come together to agree on things, it isn't a fight, where each comes in with a killer instinct to vanquish the enemy, then back down to a middle ground. Ideally, the parties enter with "enlightened self-interest", confidently advocating for their own positions, while still keeping an open mind to compromise in the interest of the common goal. The beginning phases are somewhat of a game, and it's considered a "win" if the negotiation is successful, and if everyone gets what they think they need out of it, and in the best cases, you then get past the games and, with a solid framework laid, move on to getting the real work done. Good analogy. I know what you mean. 'Fighting' just sounds so much better than 'joinning together on common project' Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 It also depends on the individuals involved and perception. No one puts themselves all out upon meeting someone. You learn a little at a time about a prospective mate. Are you compatible personalities? Do you have any commonalities? At what pace are you comfortable with? Link to post Share on other sites
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