My parents dont approve of my boyfriend

[meeshsd]

 

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 25. My parents despise of him, however they have never met him. I understand that this is a huge age gap and I understand how my parents view it but I dont think it is fair for them to judge him without meeting him. I have known my boyfriend for over three years now. We dated for a lot of that time but it was always kept secret because my parents didnt approve. I dont like lying to my parents. I have an extremely open relationship with my mom and this is the ONLY thing I cannot talk to her about. In the past my parents has threatened to not be a part of my life if i am with him and that they will kick me out. I think this is rediculous. My boyfriend is a GREAT guy. He loves me and takes care of me. He has his EMT certs. and is going to paramedic school with hopes of becoming a firefighter paramedic. I know that he would be able support me and our future family (after I finish college of course). I know that my parents would love him and approve if they only would give him a chance but they refuse. I want to talk to my mom and tell her that I have been dating him again and try to get her to understand but I dont know how to approach it!? I love my mom and dad and I dont want to disappoint them and definately dont want to lose our relationship but I dont think it is fair that they wont even TRY to accept it. I need help on how to confront my mom and what to say! Any advise would be GREATLY appreciated![/FONT]

[Requiem]

It really seems to me that there is another factor in this. I don't see why they wouldnt give him a chance based souly on his age. There is alot of couples out there that have major age differances, There is many that I know where they are between 8 and 10 years apart. This guy would probobly be better for you to date and be with than someone actually your age, he is proboboly more mature than anyone at 18. He apparently has dreams and goals and looks to fulfill them because hes going through the work to become a fire fighter with his EMT lisence. They need to get to know him. I dunno really how to make them turn over and do so easily, but keep trying is all I can say really. Just be honest about it and tell them thats what you want. Might end up just haveing to go beyond them and against their wishes. But in order to do that, you need to make sure that 100% thats what you wana do.

[JoL]

Hmmmm did you ask your parents at any stage WHY they hate him so much?

 

I agree with Requiem...it seems like there is something missing from your story.

[ConfusedButLoved]

I hate analyzing posts because it is time consuming and I feel like who am I to be so analytical of someone else's problem? My virgo spirit wins tonight though so here we go...

 

 

I I understand that this is a huge age gap and I understand how my parents view it but I dont think it is fair for them to judge him without meeting him.

Have they directly said they "despise him" and if so is it only because of the age difference? My husband and I are 14 years apart and my parents are absolutely fine with that. Then again I am in my twenties and I have a child. I wonder if that is the only issue you're parents have.

I have known my boyfriend for over three years now. We dated for a lot of that time but it was always kept secret because my parents didnt approve.

So if my math serves me right, and assuming you started dating when you first met, you were 15 and he was 22. I wouldn't approve either if I were you're parents!

I dont like lying to my parents. I have an extremely open relationship with my mom and this is the ONLY thing I cannot talk to her about. In the past my parents has threatened to not be a part of my life if i am with him and that they will kick me out. I think this is rediculous.

I may be wrong but I do believe there is alot more to this story than we are hearing from you.

My boyfriend is a GREAT guy. He loves me and takes care of me. He has his EMT certs. and is going to paramedic school with hopes of becoming a firefighter paramedic.

That sounds very impressive and all, but that doesn't necessarily make him a "great" guy. I know a man who served our country in Iraq for 4 years and abandoned his child and child's mother before the child was even born. You're parents will not be impessed by his career choice alone.

I know that he would be able support me and our future family (after I finish college of course). I know that my parents would love him and approve if they only would give him a chance but they refuse.

Again I have that sneaky feeling there is more to this story...

I love my mom and dad and I dont want to disappoint them and definately dont want to lose our relationship but I dont think it is fair that they wont even TRY to accept it. I need help on how to confront my mom and what to say! Any advise would be GREATLY appreciated![/FONT]

 

I don't think anyone can help you on this situation based on the little information that we have from you. I'd be willing to try and give some advice but I just don't have much to go on sorry.

[roxy_1980]

Like the last poster said, I wouldn't trust a guy that was interested in my 15-year old daughter when they were 22.

 

Your parents realize something that you don't yet have the experience for. People who are 18 and 25 are at two completely different phases in their lives or at least they should be.

 

When you're eighteen, you are just starting to taste your independence. You're getting ready for college (or just started it anyway), moving out on your own for the first time, usually wanting to go out and experience new things.

 

25-years-olds, on the other hand, are usually dealing with the day to day life issues. They're working, but usually don't have alot of money. Have to deal with bosses and co-workers and keeping their carrer on track, while keeping some social time for themselves.

 

Granted there are people out there who have 10 year differences, but there is a difference between a couple who met at 18/28 and a couple that met at 30/40.

 

Your parents may be concerned that if he fits that well into your world, perhaps that he has not move into this next stage in life. And the most frightening part is that maybe he never will and may drag you down with him.