My old man...depressed or what?

[Kelso]

Hey everyone -

 

I love both my parents to pieces. That's why I'm writing here and asking for advice if someone has some.

 

When I was younger (23 now), he was the best dad anyone could ask for. When I wanted to do something with him, he was always ready to spend time with me. He drove me to soccer practices at 9 o'clock in the morning. We went skiing together, we went to soccer matches and we went to the swimming pool. He took me with him on business trips and he was basically the best image of a dad anyone could have imagined.

 

He was the guy who always kept his cars clean, he mowed the lawn, he painted the house. Today everything has changed. He's really slow. There is no way I could ever asked him to join me to see a soccer game. He hires a professional painter to paint the house. He hasn't gone skiing for a decade (I still go often). He gets irritated when his cell phone rings, and it doesn't matter who is calling, it's like his cell is the curse of his life.

 

He has a business and I work at the firm during the summer holiday. I got in on Monday and took a look around the office and saw that nothing has been done there for 2 months or so. A job he used to love to do. When I asked him what he'd been up to for the last couple of months at work he just replied "I knew you were coming". Then he continues doing nothing all day long. Walks around, greets his customers and curses his cellphone.

 

We went on a business trip in January. When we had finished all our meetings we had free time in a city neither of us had ever been to. I asked him if he'd come for a walk outside in this wonderful city. He chose to stay in his hotel room and read a book. He reads a lot, but when you're visiting a beautiful city for the first time...it's not normal not wanting to go out.

 

I think this is some kind of a depression or something and I have no idea what I can do with him. He had a really bad cough in early October. For a month and a half my mom asked him to go and see a doctor. He kept saying, "the doctors don't know nothing...there's nothing wrong with me...I'm fine". Well, after a lot of arguing he finally went to see the doc, which diagnosed him with pneumonia. He had pneumonia for 6 weeks before he went to see a doctor. Imagine how difficult it would be for me to ask him to go and see a psychiatrist.

 

I miss my good old man and I would gladly change my boring dad to get my good old man back. I just don't know how to do it!

 

Any advices??

[quankanne]

is there anything going on in his life that could be causing him stress – relationship problems, work, health? That can lead to depression, even just a mild funk that causes him to act differently than usual.

 

or it could be that he's hit a plateau, mental and physical, and just wants to coast for awhile? Talk with your mom to find out if she's noticed any telltale behavioral changes.

 

you don't say how old your dad is, but something else to consider is mid-life crisis – your dad may be in condition, active, etc, but might also be obsessing or worrying about aging as he hits a certain phase in his life.