Wiser Woman Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 It could be very likely that his ex-wife is playing games with his head and using their child as a pawn. Shame on her. You didn't say, I don't think, how old you are but if you are fairly young, you may have just now come up against some of the cruel things other people can do to others. It's painful, hurtful and sometimes very very hard to handle. A young child in the mix only makes things more difficult - a man may divorce his wife but in most cases he never divorces the children of a marriage. It's a life long commitment for many men despite the breakdown of a marriage. In some ways, if he is devoting himself to his child, you have to respect him for it. It's hard tho' to find much respect for a man who has used you and your heart in such a way. The fact that he is college educated doesn't say anything for how he is as a human being - they don't teach that in college. My advice would be to move on as graciously as you can. Don't let his behaviour affect the person you want to be or are. You sound like a gentle soul and there IS another man in this world who will treasure you. Link to post Share on other sites
michele Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 Wiser women again thanks so much. I'm 38 yrsold, and have 2kids of my own, also divorced. Of couse I understand, children come first, but if this is true what he said to me, he could also have time for me. If he really wanted, he could be a loving father, and still have a relationship with me. The cold reality is that he probably after 2yrs, still felt something for his ex, and to think I drove him back to her makes me sick. It is still upsetting to me that a forty something man can turn hot from cold in 24hrs. Many men during this holiday season, get all sentimental, not that I am a vengeful person, bu I'm a firm believer of what goes around comes around. Talking from experience. Thanks again you have been a savior in my dilemma. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 What goes around does indeed come around - I'm 46 and I've seen it happen more than once. Revenge is sweet sometimes but just waiting and watching sometimes has it's own rewards... Move on, dear. You DO deserve better. A man is his 40s is just as stupid sometimes as a man in his 20s.... that I know for sure! I hope you can move forward and enjoy the holidays and, for that matter, enjoy every day from this day on! Link to post Share on other sites
michele Posted December 18, 1999 Share Posted December 18, 1999 What goes around does indeed come around - I'm 46 and I've seen it happen more than once. Revenge is sweet sometimes but just waiting and watching sometimes has it's own rewards... Move on, dear. You DO deserve better. A man is his 40s is just as stupid sometimes as a man in his 20s.... that I know for sure! I hope you can move forward and enjoy the holidays and, for that matter, enjoy every day from this day on! Wiser women thanks again, it's getting better. Still think about him, people at work come up to me and assume that he was my boyfriend, even his boss the other day, said he told him he wasn't seeing me anymore. So I told him, I thought he went back to his ex, his boss said no I don;t think so. I also told him why does he hate me, his boss said did he tell you that , and I said just the way he's been acting. Anyway, tommorrow is our party,I want to go my friends are going to be there, but I hate walking in alone. Each day is getting better, his loss. Link to post Share on other sites
michele Posted December 20, 1999 Share Posted December 20, 1999 Anyway, tommorrow is our party,I want to go my friends are going to be there, but I hate walking in alone. Each day is getting better, his loss. Got the nerve called him on the phone. Asked him to be honest, he insisted that his family right now is his priority, said it was because of the problems with the daughter. Asked him to be really honest, he did not admit to any girlfriend, or getting back with his ex wife. Insisted it was his daughter. Confessed to him that I still cared about him, and I missed his friendship. However I sincerely believe he has emotional problems, and is not playing with a full deck. All of a sudden he abrptly said after talking on the phone for about 20 minutes, he said I have to call my daughter. I firmly believe I'm better off just dealing with him as a friend. I asked him if he is not ready for anything more right now, I should forget about him, and his response was for now yes. End of chapter. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted December 20, 1999 Share Posted December 20, 1999 Well, at least you have some kind of answer now and can put it to rest. You behaved with dignity, he didn't and like you said, it IS his loss. Link to post Share on other sites
michele Posted December 20, 1999 Share Posted December 20, 1999 Well, at least you have some kind of answer now and can put it to rest. You behaved with dignity, he didn't and like you said, it IS his loss. Wiser Woman, Again, thanks for your response. I feel I always attract men that have an emotional problem. I'm really sorry, that yesterday the 19th I missed out on a radio show that was really interesting ,it was on on 530am on the way to work on 103.5 fm, it was about relationships, and how we can tell toxic relationships, how to detect from the beginning. I remember the doctor spoke of buiding up your self-esteem, and how to set goals, and know what we want of relationships, if it doesn't meet our standards, to move on. Have a great Holiday Season, I'll keep in touch Link to post Share on other sites
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