Heather Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Hello All, Well, I've decided to write down my hurt and pain rather than keep it pent up any longer. Let's see if anyone else out there thinks this is a kick in the pants or not. Three months ago I broke up with my b/f of 7 years. He was one of those guys who was always cheating and always accusing me of doing the cheating. I guess he just couldn't't believe that an attractive woman can be faithful. Like the saying goes....."you never look under the bed unless you have been there yourself" You also need to know that most of the women he slept with were supposed friends of mine, well it goes to show exactly how many friends I really had huh? (maybe now he understands why in the end I would only make friends with women that I knew would not be attractive to him) I finally ended things with him after he accused me for the last time of wanting to sleep with a mutual friend of ours. I saw the window of opportunity and as much as it hurt me, I took it. Here's where the kick in the pants comes in.........I just found out yesterday that my ex b/f and one of my ex best friends are now sleeping together. Well?...........would anyone else out there be upset? or am I being stupid? Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 You have a right to be upset, but seriously, why would you??? You have gotten rid of him and the heartbreak and now they have to put up with each other. I say celebrate Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 I would definitely be angry and upset and hurt. But this fellow sounds like an absolute loser. I can't believe that you had to choose friends based on whether or not he would find them attractive. Why not, instead, just find some friends with integrity? And a boyfriend with integrity! It sounds like you're enmeshed in an unhealthy social circle. Nevermind your ex bf's (boyfriend & best friend) sleeping together. Honestly, who cares what such awful people do or think? I say this as a detached outsider. I know that I'm not really feeling what you feel right now. But take it from an uninvolved party, who has no reason to say anything but the truth: this former best friend of yours, and this ex boyfriend of yours are both very very sad people. People who engage in self-centeredness, suspicion, and betrayal are usually a) terribly insecure, and b) toxic. Your ex-best friend is, in all likelihood, jealous of you. And it sounds like the people you know in common are toxic too. How did you come to find out about them sleeping together? Who thought that was information you'd want to have? It's not like you needed to have your eyes opened about either one of them; you'd already severed ties with each of them. Whoever told you was just rubbing salt in your wound. Either very stupid, or quite malicious. Possibly both. Get some new friends. Make your primary criteria decency and groundedness, so that you won't have to worry about your new friends betraying you. Same goes for guys you date. Link to post Share on other sites
Girl Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 You have just recently broken up and things are still raw, of course it would be upsetting to know what he's up to and with whom.... but on the other hand, his recent actions have simply cemented the reasons why YOU choose to no longer have him in your life. Keep reminding yourself of those reasons. It's how you choose to look at things.... choose to think that whatever his relationship with this woman, or any woman in the future his behaviour will be the same as it was in your relationship.... he will cheat and probably with her friends. Do some cartwheels that YOU no longer have to deal with his sleazy, low life ways and get on with strengthening yourself. It's about you now, not him. Don't look back!. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 being upset is part of the process of getting over the guy, but keep in minnd that your former friend is now stuck with that sleezeball, and she's earned a bit of pity, whether you like her or not. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 if you went back to him. I can't believe you put up with that for seven long years! It has to be upsetting hearing about him sleeping with your friend, but I'm sure you're not surprised. Be thankful this degrading and hurtful person is out of your life now, and be proud of yourself for finally taking that step in saying no more. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 To everyone who posted a reply........Thanks so much. I can feel enlightened by my burden just reading your posts. Support is a wonderful healing tool and speaking of such. I have decided to seek some couseling. I never knew it would feel sooooo good to walk away from him! I guess it's the DIRECTION I'm going in! It's all about me this time! Thanks again everyone Link to post Share on other sites
yani Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 It's understandable that your inital reaction would be anger but as my mom always says what are you really loosing out on with this jerk. If anything they both did you a favor by getting the garbage out of your life. Keep it moving and don't look back. You will find someone who will treat you with respect. Them two will always have pain because they will keep attracting loosers. Link to post Share on other sites
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