Jelina Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 So my BF and I had been together for 4 years and this past Christmas he'd basically kicked me out (trust issues....and no, it wasn't because I cheated) but not before telling me he didn't love me anymore. Well anyway 2 months of NC prompted a call from him and he'd asked that we get together, go to dinner, see a movie, talk things over. We did and agreed we'd give us another chance. I remained living in my apt. and he in his home. We saw each other on weekends and when feasible. So 3 months into the 'process' we made the decision to have me move back in. 1 month later I started to bring back a few boxes at a time to his place. 2 weekends ago I had gotten a hold of his phone and read the 70+ texts he had in his in box. Uh...they weren't from me. I could only handle reading about half of them before I confronted him asking WTF was up, he said nothing, that she was just a friend. (this same 'friend' also bought him oils, massagers and bubble bath for his birthday in Feb, which was a month I wasn't around) That also had me ask the question WTF? So anyway just the other day I got the Chance to get his phone again and read the rest of the texts...and OMFG!!! The answer was RIGHT F'ING there... I couldn't believe it, I was blown away beyond blown away.... so again, I confronted him and stood there reading them all to him until I got it out of him...yep, he cheated. I mean he had issues with trusting me for reasons (not cheating) and what does he do, he takes the trust I had in him and throws it right out the f'ing window! I just don't know what to do, what to think, I don't know where to start....I need help. My family says get rid of him, my one and only friend says get rid of him but I don't know that I can. I do love him but this hurts pretty damn similar to being told the one you've been with for 4 years doesn't love you anymore. I don't hate him, but do hate him for what he did. We haven't spoken since the discovery (which was this past Sunday), today I wrote him a letter and slipped it into his front door and sent him a text so he was aware I put it there, also told him when he was ready to talk to call me. No phone call. He had no explanation, all he could come up with was that he's a fxxx up, that he fxxxd up, he didn't know what he was thinking, he doesn't know why, but before I left, he begged me to stay saying don't leave, I need you. I left.... I'm not sure that it's all there but the basis of what happened is....I just need some sort of advice, comments, suggestions, anything. I don't know what to do ! As for background, I can tell you this much; I was the OW in his past relationship. He was with her for about 6 years before he left her for me. (Once a cheater, always a cheater?) As for myself, I was married at 18, divorced at 21, reason for my divorce, cheating. I cheated on my ex-husband, I saw what it did to him after it was discovered, and that was enough for me to vow to myself never to do it again...ever. I couldn't ever cause heartache like that more than once, it was awful. My BF new abuot it and the vow was also made to him, that I'd never cheat on him..ever! (Once a cheater....never again!) Link to post Share on other sites
1Stupidgirl Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I'm so sorry for your situation. My question was were you together when he did this or was it during the break time? Link to post Share on other sites
ToriJ Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Hi your situation sounds just like mine. I was with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. We broke up at xmas - he was depressed his nana died and he was very close to her. Anyway we broke up for 2 months and then we decided we loved eachother and wanted to give it another go. As far as i knew we were totally committed to eachother, we made plans for the future he told me he wanted me forever every day - you get the picture. Anyway 2 weeks ago i saw his phone statement and he was texting 3 different girls since we got back together in March. I was totally 100% shocked at his behaviour. Could not believe he would do this to me. He told me he's sorry, said it was a pathetic confidence booster and he wanted to spend his life with me. I havent spoken to him since and i dont feel the need to either. I found out he changed his mobile number the day after we broke up and this has totally confused me. It seems like he never even cared about me and never wants to hear from me again. Anyway i think the best thing to do is just never speak to them again. They are not good enough for us. Learn from this experience and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Move on is my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jelina Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 In response to: 1Stupidgirl "I'm so sorry for your situation. My question was were you together when he did this or was it during the break time?" As far as I know/knew, they were 'together' before I had moved back in but we'd made the decision to try again 3 months prior, so I assumed it meant we were back together. He just kept sleeping with her because I wasn't 'available' for sex at his convenience (or so he says). Link to post Share on other sites
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