my little dog died and i am so upset!

[jamieileana]

for all the evenings that i went out with my boyfriend on the weekends the last few months just to placate him.

 

for all the times i sat on this stupid computer searching for help for my little dog, and or myself.

 

for all the time that i had to go to work or my boyfriend would get mad if i wanted to stay home with my dog, so i went.

 

for all the time that i didn't spend with him when i should of could of but was doing other things that were at the time seemingly more important.

 

on and on the list could go. tonight we went out, i went reluctantly and earlier this evening i had a horrible panic attack, not even having had one when my dog died but just this first one.

 

i don't know why or where it came from at first but i think i now know.

 

i didn't want to go out tonight, i don'tever want to go out again to the stupid dumb, smelly, smoky ass bar with a bunch of idiots who don't know they are acting like idiots and would not believe you even if you told them cause they are drunk!

 

i know i am in the grieving stages and my anger is directed towards anything and everything including myself and my stupid actions of the past couple months with my baby dog that i lost on friday january 24th.

 

so i dont know how to deal with this anger. at times i get so mad out of just thinking that my little guy will no longer be here for me to love, to hold, to take care, to kiss, to feed, to walk to watch to anything, it is gone gone gone.

 

i feel so empty inside, like an elephant is sitting on my chest. the pain is at times almost unbearable and i don't know how to deal with the anger.

 

i've literally hit the walls, kicked the walls, punched the bi-fold doors on the laundry room, kicked chairs threw balls.. and what ever else striked me to do at the moment i just did.

 

i've even gone as far as carrying the box that his ashes are in from room to room with me because that is what he always did, followed me from room to room.

 

well the last week, he was doing fine then just overnight everything came to a screeching halt!

 

i had to finally have this lady come to my house to have to put to rest.

 

so he went to the rainbow bridge now and is healthy and whole again.

 

i know he is waiting there for me and one day we will be reunited again.

 

but until then i don't know how much more pain i can handle. i can't handle the looking for him when i walk in the house, or when i get up in the morning.

 

i leave the house and do anything and everything ican to avoid coming home.

 

we had him put him to rest in the livingroom cause that is where he was most of the time with us.

 

since last friday, i have not been able to go in there for anything.

i have not hardly set foot in that room.

 

i just roam from room to room, the bedroom, the computer room, the kitchen, the bathroom,where ever i can find something to do.

 

so tonight was the real clencher. we went out and i think this is where my anxiety was coming from.

 

when we came home, i was floated with so many memeories of coming home after going out and he would be so hyper, and we'd stop at wendy's or taco bell and bring him something to eat because it was just too funny to watch him run around the house all excited just knowing he had a goodie in the bag.

 

it was always just so much fun. well tonight when we turned down the street, i felt my heart starting to race and the tears starting to fall.

 

when we pulled up at the house once again i wanted to kick and scream, then i wanted to punch the hell out of my boyfriend for putting me through all this.

 

i know i could of said no, but what am i going to do tell him i never want to go out again because it kills me too much?

 

yes i have read so much on all this grieving stuff and i know that i was/am in denial for a very long time.

 

i think it is just starting to really settle in now because today i had such a horrible day compared to yesterday when i thought things were getting better...

 

today when i told you i was going to try to vacuum the livingroom rug...well i went in there with a fudge cicle for alf and me..

 

i brought his old blankie and i put his box on the blankie...i sat there on the couch like a million times before with the fudge cicle...today it tasted like cardboard...

 

i put the fudge cicle towards alfs picture on the box that he is in....i started to cry so hard.

 

i was just trying so hard to relive a memory, and it hurt like hell..talk about daggers piercing your heart..oh my gawd, it was awful.

 

the livingroom no longer feels warm and welcoming...it feels cold and empty to me, and i just could not sit in there much longer.

 

i left alf on the blankie and went in the exercise room and got on the eclipse..i was on there and i kept thinking how i just left hm in there all alone and normally he would of followed my by now and been at my side..

 

so i got off the thingy and went and picked him up with the blankie like a little baby and carried him into the exercise room and laid him down with the blankie where he would lay sometimes..

 

i continued back on my exercise regimen for another half hour or so...when i got done, i started feeling spooked about how i was behaving like am i a nut case now or what, is this normal, am i really losing it or what..

 

the questions droned on and on in my head but i never got an answer, so i'm still wondering if my behavior was/is normal...

 

i hate to think that i am slowly or fastly even losing my mind....what do you think, do you think this sounds normal?

 

i know i am in the anger/guilt phase of this grieving process..i hate it worse then anything cause i just don't know what to do when i feel this anger well up inside me and i don't knw how to vent it..

 

tomorrow will be one week that he has been gone..in myheart it feels he has been gone forever but only yesterday as well..does that make sense?

[Tony T]

I am deeply sorry for your loss and very joyous for the great moments you were able to spend with your pet.

 

I grieve for all the children who have died before, upon, or shortly after birth and never know the joy of a warm puppy licking the face or sitting in a lap.

 

I grieve that you are not able to celebrate the great times you had with your pet and rather choose to knock yourself out pointing fingers and blame...at yourself....at your boyfriend...at life in general.

 

I grieve for your boyfriend who has a girlfriend who resents him for unknowingly taking her time away from an animal she preferred to be with. Had the guy known, he could have found another girl who preferred to be with him.

 

It is an grievous insult to your dog to carry on like this. This animal was put upon the earth to bring you joy and happiness and to teach you to treasure those things while they are there and to let go when the end comes.

 

And here you are carrying on, ungrateful for the fortune that you experienced.

 

If you can't handle the impermanence of almost everything in life, including pets, love, cars, money, etc., you better find another planet to live on.

 

Again, I am most sorry for the loss of your dog. A cat I had for 14 years recently died and I know the pain of that kind of loss. But I'm not about to darken the memories of the great times my cat spent on this planet by blaming vets, friends, girlfriends, circumstances, etc. because she's no longer here.

 

Loss is hard to deal with. Death is hard to accept. But that's the way it happens here...it's just the way it happens. And it's nobody's fault.

 

Your dog is very happy you lived your life the way you wanted to in its last days.

 

Now go and pay tribute to life by grieving maturely and wisely and moving on. And stop going out with your boyfriend just to placate him and find a guy you really want to be with. That's not rocket science.

[lostone]

Sorry! Loosing a dog, your best friend is very hard. I had to put mine to sleep a while ago. It was hell! Just remember all the good times you had w/ your dog. AND, your dog is in a MUCH BETTER place where he/she is no longer suffering! Do you have that poem called "Rainbow bridge?" If not, I would be happy to send you it...

[Kat]

No offense but it is a dog!

 

I lost my cat of 5 years when I was in grade 7 and I cried, sure, but I didn't carry on like this. No wonder your b/f was worried about your 'relationship' you had with your dog.

 

 

Get over it, gee

[mighty bop]

My thoughts exactly.

[HokeyReligions]

I know what it is like to lose a fur-kid. For those who think it was just a dog (or cat, ...) I feel sorry for your narrow-mindedness and lack of compassion.

 

Your behavior, jamieileana, is not nuts or wrong in any way. Grief is grief and we all (if we are lucky enough to love so deeply and be so deeply loved) go through it.

 

This post is long, but hopefully you will feel better knowing that you are not alone and that what you feel is not wrong. The last part of the post is what I wrote for my Max - who I lost last May. You mentioned the Rainbow Bridge so I assume you are familiar with that and I won't post it here.

 

Miss Me – But Let Me Go

 

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free!

 

Miss me a little, but not for long,

And not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me, but let me go!

 

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

 

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go to the friends we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,

Miss me but let me go!

-------------------------------------------------

Living Love

 

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember...

 

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

 

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your long-time friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

 

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--- you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size than your own---seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg--very very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay---you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart---As time passes the ache will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

 

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when---along with the memory of your pet---and piercing through the heaviness in your heart---there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love---like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this love will remain and grow--and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our beloved pets--it is a love that we will always possess.

 

 

May I Go

 

May I go now?

Do you think the time is right?

May I say goodbye to pain filled days

and endless lonely nights?

 

I've lived my life and done my best,

an example tried to be.

So can I take that step beyond

and set my spirit free?

 

I didn't want to go at first,

I fought with all my might.

But something seems to draw me now

to a warm and loving light.

 

I want to go. I really do.

It's difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can

to live just one more day.

 

To give you time to care for me

and share your love and fears.

I know you're sad and afraid,

because I see your tears.

 

I'll not be far, I promise that,

and hope you'll always know

that my spirit will be close to you

wherever you may go.

 

Thank you so for loving me.

You know I love you, too.

That's why it's hard to say goodbye

and end this life with you.

 

So hold me now just one more time

and let me hear you say,

because you care so much for me,

you'll let me go today.

 

~ Susan A. Jackson ~

---------------------------------------------------

Dearest Max,

 

You left us on Friday, May 10, 2002. Our sweet baby-boy. The King of Cuddling. You spent 15 short years in our lives, but we were there for all of your life. I found you in a parking lot when you were 8 weeks old. Someone was backing out and you were behind the tire. Our introduction was of me running toward you and screaming at the car driver to stop. I scooped you up and brought you home. You were scared. Daddy was sleeping but I put you in his arms. You fell asleep and felt safe for the first time. You were always a daddy’s boy, but I knew you loved me too. Gidget adored you and took you to raise. She did a wonderful job. The first year you were with us you wouldn’t cross a room, but followed the walls or furniture. Even when you ate or drank you had to have a wall beside you. But you got over that when you finally realized you had a permanent home and knew we wouldn’t let you go.

 

We miss you baby. The spots on your head that said “Kiss Me Here” and the way you loved momma to “pooh-pooh” the side of your face – you would get ‘happy bumps’ on your chin and throw your head around and press it to my face so I could “pooh-pooh” you again. And the soft, doughy lips that we loved to gently pinch, or lift one side and blow through your mouth so the lip on the other side flapped—oh the expression on your face when we did that!. We miss the pink spot on the top of your snoot and the way your front feet left the ground every time you barked – like a cartoon character bounce. And the way you would throw yourself in the direction you wanted to go. When you were younger you joyously flew through the air and loved the freedom—the Max Flights we called them. We remember you running down the hall and jumping / launching yourself from the end of the couch and flying to land on the other end – Super-Dog – all you needed was a cape. You were so happy and full of puppy joy!

 

We miss that you had no rhythm in your tail-wagging and that if we looked at you and said “thump thump” you would start wagging your tail and thumping whatever was around you, and whenever we walked toward you, you would thump as if to say “I love you.” We miss the way you would root and snort and cover yourself up in blankets when you had a treat, and just how treat-motivated you were—our little pot-bellied pig impersonator! We miss the way you would beg for food by placing your head on our knees and rolling your eyes—you looked so pathetic we always gave in. We miss coming home to find the food bowl in a corner and neatly buried with whatever we happened to leave laying around – sometimes a shoe, or piece of our clothing, sometimes food wrappers we forgot to throw out, and sometimes with the other kids toys – all tucked neatly around the food – almost airtight! We miss the sound of you pushing the bowl around the room, and the adorable way you would lay on your tummy with your back legs flat-out and your dainty feet pointing backward—it looked so uncomfortable to us! We miss your wall-rattling snores, and your dreams – your wonderful, playful dreams and the way you would run and bark and wag your tail while you slept. Your face would twitch and ears would wiggle and we could tell you were happily playing – probably with Gidget. Sometimes you woke us up when we felt your “midnight runs” and you would kick us, but we would lay in the dark smiling and loving you even more for it.

 

We miss your voice when all the kids have a sing-along – you were the leader of the pack. We miss watching you bat Tiger in the face when he would beg you to start singing, and the way Katy would lick your lips almost over your head! We miss you crawling up on our laps for snuggling, and pushing your head under our hands and arms insisting we love on you. And they way you would trot down the hall from the bedroom and look at us as if to say “aren’t you coming to bed yet?” We miss the sighs and grunts when you didn’t get your way. We miss the peek-a-boo game we played with you in the blankets—you buried yourself so you couldn’t see us and we would call out “where’s Max?” until we saw the blanket ‘wag’ and you would let us call you for several minutes then you peeked out and we lavished kisses and hugs on you as though we hadn’t seen you in forever—you grunted contentedly and laughed at that. We miss your bark in the backyard—when you would lie on the patio and just bark for the sake of barking. The neighborhood is so quiet now.

 

We miss the gentle play and content licks when you were happy. We miss the way you would bounce and be silly after we kissed you – you were so cheerful! We used to tell you that if we looked up ‘spoiled’ in the dictionary, your picture would be there. We miss the way you slept on the pillows – they had to be placed in a perfect upside-down “L” for you to be comfy. And the way you would greet us when we came home. Even if we just stepped outside for a minute – you greeted us like we had been gone for days. You always loved us—even when we were in a bad mood you would cheer us up. Pete-Pathetic-Head we called you because you could manipulate us with your sad-eyed expressions! Maxwell Houdini because even as a puppy you could escape from every enclosure we rigged up for you. Mr. M. Maxi-Pad. Maxwell Houdini-Man. Pete Pitiful. Mr. Snuggles. Snuggle-bug. Maximum Effort. Maxi-well. Happy Max. Max. Our beloved baby-boy. We miss you so.

 

All our love for ever and ever.

Daddy & Mommy

 

 

"Dearest Max" is what I wrote when we lost our boy. I don't have a copy on the computer of the letter I wrote when we lost our daughter-dog, Gidget, in 1999. I have their ashes in the living room and in "my" room I have two large shadow boxes - one for each - and in them I have my letters and poems, their collars, photographs, favorite toy and rawhide bone. Every year as Christmas and Birthday gifts my family makes donations to area animal shelters in their memory.

 

Cry and let it out. Tell your bf that you are not really mad at him, and that you appreciate that he is trying to help you, but that you have to grieve. Show him this post if you can't say it. Then let him hug you and if you don't want to be around him for a while, tell him that you need some alone healing time.

 

And for anyone else reading this and thinking it is stupid - poor you because you don't understand.

[Master Chief]

Those stories and poems brought a tear to my eye.

Doing that is not an easy task at all.

 

/lights a single candle

 

- MC

[jamieileana]

it sure would be nice if you could respond to each individual post instead of having to post one post to everybody.

 

tony: i have been placating my boyfriend for many years now. he knew full well how i felt about going out each weekend towards the end here.

 

not so much over the last year or so i have not chosen my dog over him, but only when his health was noticeably failing.

 

he thought he would live another six months or so but i knew different and tried to tell him that.

 

it is not like i chose my boyfriend over my dog, though at times, that would of been a better choice.

 

i love them both very much, and to have to choose between the two when my dog was sick, should not of even been an issue.

 

to kat and mighty bop: your opinions are hollow and i don't really care what you think. if you've never experienced the true commitment and devotion of love from a dog after 16 years then you have no idea of what i am going through.

 

to master chef: thank you for your reply, it is nice to know that someone's heart was touched by all this and i appreciate hearing that from you.

 

to hokey religion: i read your entire post, and i could feel the love you have for max. i would of liked to of met max myself, he really sounds like quite the character.

 

i have read the "may i go now" before, and it is so heart wretching.

 

that poem helped aide me in my decision for my little guy (arf).

the other one, i copied and pasted and am saving that one along with the ton of others i have too now.

 

thank you for sharing such a wonderful and heart warming story.

i did not mind reading it at all.

 

i hope you have found peace in your heart since then. i fully understand how hard it is now after having gone through it myself.

 

today is one week since my baby went to the rain bow bridge. today i managed to go in the living room and clean, vacuum and rearrage it.

 

first time since he left that i have gone in there. maybe that means i am healing now.

 

i managed to put his ashes up too, so i would not see them daily.

they are in a heart shaped container and i had them sitting on the food mat where he always ate right next to his food and water dishes.

 

i still ached so much inside. he was my constant in my life for 16 years.

 

through all the trials and tribulations i've gone through he has been the one main thing that has never left me, or never changed.

 

his love, so unconditional, more so then any human can do, so how can someone not miss their beloved little friend?

 

i don't understand how someone, anyone, can say "it is just a dog/cat", how cruel and insensitve to the person who is going through the pain of the loss.

 

what makes them pain any greater if it were a family member to them?

 

should we say to them, "oh, it was just your brother, mother, etc"?

 

they do not compare an four legged friend to a two legged friend.

they do not see in their hearts with the love that we do, that is why they can so easily dismiss it.

 

oh well, such a loss for them, i know how much i love my little guy, he will live on forever in my heart as max will in yours.

 

thank you very much for sharing that totally heart warming story.

jamie

[Kat]

Originally posted by jamieileana

to kat and mighty bop: your opinions are hollow and i don't really care what you think. if you've never experienced the true commitment and devotion of love from a dog after 16 years then you have no idea of what i am going through.

 

 

I have had the pain of losing over 4 animals that I had had for over 5 years each. I think I know. I think the difference is I know that they are a cat and not my lover!

[mighty bop]

I can understand what you're going through. Just seems a little too much for me. But hey we're all different so it's all good Life goes on.......

[quankanne]

from your postings, it's very obvious that you loved your companion very, very much, and I understand the depth of your grief.

 

but even as you rail in anger and hurt over losing your dog, one thing and ONLY one thing remains important: the love you felt for him. Focus on that, because love doesn't die, even though we may lose the source of that love for whatever reasons ....

 

Hokey had some wonderful comments on "living love," which I am making a hard copy of. It hit home when I thought of it in terms of my elderly parents, to whom I'm very close and do not look forward to their leaving this earth. She had a very good point about the fourth stage, "the fourth day," when we see what a special gift and legacy we've received because of the love we received.

 

THAT'S the one true thing, that lasts us our whole life, and therefore should be the focus in all our grieving, not the hurt or the loss or the pain, though they can be so overwhelming.

[jamieileana]

if it seems that i don't know the difference between my dog and my lover, well then herein lies the problem.

 

i do know the diff, but when you pet is dying why on earth would you want to go sit in a stupid smelly noisy ole bar when what matters to you is at home, ill, sick and tired and maybe does not want to be alone either.

 

he does not understand that i am coming back in a few hours or that i don't want to really go, or that 'daddy" needs to get out for anight every weekend.

 

all he know's is that i am leaving him alone, and when i close the door on his little face watching me, it is just heart breaking, just knowing that i am closing the door on him to go to stupid ole bar.

 

quakanne: i re-read the whole post from hokeyreligiion and copied it myself as well.

 

it is quite an inspiration, the four days. i am finding some comfort in it all.

 

thank you for sharing too. today i managed to smile at my little guy's picture. i wish i could post it here but i don't know how too.

 

he is just so cute! he is a pembrooke corgi with such mischious in his eyes.

 

i love him so much! i miss him so much! i will love him forever!

he is my baby and i don't care what others think.

 

for 16 wonderful years he was my companion and best friend, and no man can ever replace that.

 

perhaps you will give your grandparents extra hugs and kisses and tell them how much they mean to you.

 

take care, jamie

[mighty bop]

If you have a lot of pictures of him, maybe you can make a web page about his life? That would be cool.......

[Patty]

Im very sorry for the loss of your pet and Tony,Im sorry for the loss of your pet too.I know it must be hard to move on and Ive had a time when I was a kid when we lost the bird.We trained it to talk ,even swear.It was a parakeet.I was so lost when we lost him.But as time moves on it gets easier too accept.

 

My sister had snakes for pets and they would get loose sometimes.Eventually she decided not to keep the snakes.

 

Just want to say Ive been there before and know what its like.I feel for you both.

 

 

 

Patty

[mighty bop]

Are you gonna make that website jamie?? I think it would be good.

[jamieileana]

i have tried to make one at geo cities but it is not coming along too well, and i do agree with you that it would be a wonderful idea, sort of like a memorial to my beloved and faithful companion, thank you for the idea! if i ever get it right, i will post it here and thanks again to all of you who have been so kind with words and thoughts and who have shared from their hearts their feelings of love for their pets.

[clairvoyant]

Originally posted by jamieileana

i have tried to make one at geo cities but it is not coming along too well, and i do agree with you that it would be a wonderful idea, sort of like a memorial to my beloved and faithful companion, thank you for the idea! if i ever get it right, i will post it here and thanks again to all of you who have been so kind with words and thoughts and who have shared from their hearts their feelings of love for their pets.

 

 

I have a web site and would be more than happy to make a page for you and post your pictures there. I have pictures my own pets up there, so it would fit right in.

[InNeedOfHelp]

I lost a dog a while ago and it was very depressing. A lot of people dont understand that a dog can be as good a friend as any person sometimes and that every dog is very unique and individual. Life goes on however and you have ot move on. It is no longer suffering and you have your whole life to live.

[Just A Girl2]

Yes, life DOES go on after the loss of a pet....but considering JamieIleana's dog passed away on Jan 24th, and her post here was a mere 6 days afterward (Jan 30th), I don't think she deserved the trite, dismissive, uncaring comments telling her to just "get over it" and the cliches like "life goes on." Yeah, it does go on....but for crissakes, it was barely a week after her canine companion of 16 yrs had passed away, it's not like she was still actively grieving after a year. Whether it's a human or pet we lose, it's only natural to often times feel some sense of regret and guilt......as we're forced very quickly to realize how short life is, and it hits us that we can't go back to do the things we now wished we had (in Jamie's case, having spent more time with her dog toward the end of his life). I shudder to imagine the lives of pets who are owned by people who have such little regard for the life of pets in general, as witnessed here. Having lost 2 cats of my own, and vividly recalling how it felt as if my heart were being ripped out of my chest, I shudder at this "it's only a pet" mindsets. It sickens me, actually.

[sheeba]

a pet isn't a person-but it is a flesh and blood little being-and i could see why someone could be devasted over the loss of one.

 

little animals are so dependant. the ones we choose as pets are domesticated-they look to their "human" for everything. i'm glad pets aren't lovers....they love you thru the good bad, and ugly. they think you are the best thing since milk bone. i read a quote somewhere "i wish i could be the person my dog thinks i am." that pretty much says it all.

 

i have a little dog-gizmo-and he is so cute. he hears my husbands car and barks and wags his tail and runs around-i know his favorite treats, i buy him special toys (he only likes stuffed animal rabbits to play with.) he has a distinct little personality and is such a good watchdog. he's humble and alert.

 

and to address some of the more flippant posts-just because you are a pet owner doesn't make you a pet lover. just because you own pets doesn't make you a GOOD pet owner. never forget there are good parents and bad parents. some people love their fur-kids like a member of their family.

 

i am so sorry for your loss and grief. your little dog is chasing butterflies in the big meadow in the sky-and you need to begin to get peace with that.

 

(hugs)

 

sheeba

[Kat]

You do not buy a dog thinking you will out grow it!

[julietverni]

My family and I lost our dog when I was 13, he was like my grandfather, he was there when I was a baby and always watched over me and my sister. I remember finding him dead on his way into the forest near our house. H e was going away to die and never made it. I was so angry, especially at the flys and maggots around him.

 

After we buried him, it felt like there was a huge chunk missing from my insides. My parents couldn't stand it. Almost 3 days later, my mom got a new puppy, the cutest border collie in the world. We named her Aretha and she filled the hole and then some. I still missed our old dog for quite a while, but with Aretha around, it wasn't so hard to move on.

 

I know you probably don't want to feel like you're replacing your dog, but getting a new one will help so much. And don't get one that looks like your old one, start over fresh and really make sure you can be there to take care of it. If you can't spend time with your dog, and you can't take care of it, then you shouldn't have one. Get some fish or a snake or something instead. Snakes don't need to be fed very often and I'm pretty sure they don't require love and affection.

[d880640]

All Dogs go to Heaven

I know the title of this sounds strange but I pray you stick with me in this and read it all the way through; so you may get a glance of what is in my heart.

 

This story is true and real and eye-opening and I hope; comforting to you as it has been for me. What makes this story strange is the main character is a very special dog named, Muffy. If you have had a pet die or you have a pet; your pet is very special.

 

My wife, Jackie and I bought Muffy; 6 years ago; when we were going through some suffering times. We know Muffy was a gift from God.

 

In preparing for this, I did some research and found the Lord uses animals to manifest himself. This whole concept was totally foreign to me. I knew God used humans as instruments such as Paul and Peter. To my amazement I had this wonderful revelation of the other side of creation and how this fits into the master plan of the Master - the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and he created Adam and Eve and he created all the animals. God brought the animals to Adam and Eve to see what Adam would name them and Adam named them and "God saw that it was good" (Gen.2:19; 1:25) and "very good."

 

I saw a parallel here; you buy your pet (cat or dog) and you name it just the way Adam named the animals. I never saw this simple truth until now.

 

I must tell you at this point, this story is first sad and by seeing the title you know it also has a good ending. May you see and hear God's love and hope through my tears and words; for you see Muffy died this week. The pain is like a knife in my heart. My brain said, Where is Muffy? I feel alone. I cannot sleep or eat. My head hurts. In my car my breathing is rapid. I saw myself crying like a little boy that was abandon.

 

I heard Jackie my wife talking on the phone to her friend these words, "we are to give thanks to God in all situations, for this is the will of God toward you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thes.5:18)

 

I started to thank God for Muffy and for my pain, my tears, and my fears, and for Muffy not being here any more. I did feel a release within.

 

I cried out to Lord - Why do I feel this strong pain for Muffy? I got the answer the next day in two words: security blanket.

 

When I was a little boy I went with my mom to visit my grandmother in New Jersey. I always took my security blanket everywhere I went - just like Charlie Brown (in the comics, in the newspaper). This one day my grandmother cut up the security blanket into one inch squares and gave me one of them.

 

I am 54 years old and I am feeling the feelings I stuffed 50 years ago because I felt anger toward my grandmother for destroying the thing in my life at that age that gave me comfort and protection.

 

The conflict within was I loved my grandmother so much that I could not tell her or my mom the feelings of anger; fear; and loneliness; by what happened to the blanket. The feelings were hidden deep in my soul. We all stuff our feelings at times because we do not know how to talk them out with a friend.

 

If you are a parent or grandparent and have done this to a child, do not feel condemned. We are 'not told' how to parent. 'Not guilty' all are wounded; all are wounders; all for good "no condemnation." It all works out for good. You can go to a Christian counselor and learn how to turn it around.

 

My grandmother was a Christian and is with the Lord. I know her prayers and others prayers; God used to get me in the kingdom. She died with a bible on her lap and this had a profound effect on me.

 

I came home from work the other day and I went into the bedroom and hit the bed with my hand and said, Nana, you hurt me, you took away my protection and comfort and I cried again.

 

If you find a parent or grandparent did this to you, do what I did in the bedroom and release that stored up anger by hitting a pillow and yelling at the person who hurt you but do Not call them up and yell at them. What happened happened no one knows how to parent all have sinned. You are dealing with the parent of the past Not the present, God works in they heart.

 

This process was very important because it releases the past hurts inside the soul that bind us up.

 

Anger of the past that was stuffed needs to be processed or it comes out in other dysfunctional behaviors (rage, drinking, smoking, over eating, sexual dysfunction, codependence). "...God requireth that which is past" (Eccl.3:15)

 

Years ago I went to a place where they show you how to feel your feelings and that all your feelings are ok but at the same time we do not live by our feelings. They are only passing and are gifts from God. Feelings are not life; Christ is life.

 

"Day unto day uttereth speech, night unto night sheweth knowledge" (Ps.19:2) When we are at our lowest and darkest times. When it feels like the Lord is a million miles away, he is right there in it with us; for these are the sufferings of Christ taken up in our bodies for the glory of God in Christ Jesus.

 

"Unto Adam and to his wife did the Lord make coats of skins, and clothed them." (Gen.3:21) Here the animals provide a covering and protection from weather after Adam 's fall.

 

Noah builds a large ark to save two of every animal before the great flood. The ark is a symbol of the new heaven and the new earth.

 

When God talks to suffering Job he speaks of:

 

goats (Job 39:1)

unicorn (39:10)

peacocks (39:13)

ostrich (39:13)

horse (39:18)

grasshopper (39:20)

hawk (39:26)

eagle (39:27)

 

Before Christ Jesus came to earth; man used animals for sin offerings and sacrifices:

 

goats (Lev 7:52, 16:8-22)

lamb (Eze.46:15)

oxen (Num.7:88)

 

The Lord Jesus sends roaches into the prison cell of Corrie ten Boom ("The Hiding Place" film and book) for comfort and for a sign of his love.

 

In the book of Kings we read the Lord uses ravens to feed Elijah (1 Ki.17:1-6) and God in his poet of writing likens things to animals (Ps.103; Isa.40:28-31)

 

In the manger, the baby Jesus was surrounded by animals and they were the first to see the new born outside of his own family.

 

"For a certain woman, whose young daughter had an unclean spirit, heard of him (Jesus), and came and fell at his feet: the woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation; and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter. But Jesus said unto her, let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it unto dogs. And she answered and said unto him, yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs. And he said unto her, for this saying go thy way; the devil is gone out of thy daughter." (Mk.7:25-29)

 

------------------- After that Jesus feed the five thousand with five barley loaves and two small fishes, he said, unto his disciples, gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost." (Jn.6:12)

 

The Father wanted Jesus to enter Jerusalem on a colt "whereon never man sat" (Mk.11:1-9) and again animals aid in the manifesting of the Lord.

 

I really believe 'All Dogs go to Heaven' for in this suffering at my lowest point; I was given two visions of the Lord with Muffy next to him. That is what sparked this writing.

 

God used Muffy to open my eyes to my wife's sufferings.

 

Muffy, when she was young was shot with a pellet gun and from that day on she feared everyone but myself and my wife. She is one of the wounded healers. My wife is a wounded healer and I believe everyone is a wounded healer. The Master is the real wounded healer because he was wounded for our sins. If Jesus is not Lord and Savior of your life please I pray you say this simple most powerful prayer: 'Jesus come into my heart and life; be Lord of my life; forgive me my sins; fill me with your Spirit, Amen'

 

The wounded talk to the wounded. The wounds are for glory. The past wounds are sometimes hidden to us but they trigger dysfunctional behaviors. We not knowing of the past wounds keep repeating the dysfunctional behaviors until they are brought to the light.

 

Some say animals are not in heaven but the bible says: we will come back to the earth with the Lord riding on horses (Rev.19:14; 2 Ki.6:17)

 

A dog has unconditional love but the dog has not the capacity to produce this love because it is "imparted" (Job 39:13-17;26) from God.

 

 

A fish pays the Rome tax for Jesus and Peter: the fish with the gold coin in it's mouth.

 

The book of Revelation, Song of Solomon, Isaiah and many other books of the bible talk about the new heaven and new earth.

 

Jesus came to the earth to take our sins on Himself on the cross and to open the door between God and humanity and His other mission is to restore the "garden" back to its perfection: "The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; the calf and the young lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them. And the cow and the bear shall feed their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox." (Isa.11:6-7)

 

"But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee" (Job 12:7-8)

 

"And a voice came out of the throne, saying, praise our God, all ye his servants and ye that fear him, both small and great" (Rev.19:5)

 

'God made all the creatures and gave them our love and our fear

To give sign we and they are his children, one family here'

(the poet Browning)

If your pet is sick call for prayer Pastor John 410-655-3777

http://www.bcfc.org