i cant take it anymore goodbye

[Forever isnt so long]

i cant do this anymore this waiting for her to call. i found out shes already dating someone else and the breakup was less than a month ago i dont get it. its like she doesnt care. i guess she said she was goin to wait 3 months but that lasted long didnt it... i tryin to think of reasons not to just kill myself right now...i kno i have people who care about me but shes the only one i want. i just want to kno she cares about me. i mean she finally got the card i sent her and i was told she started to cry when she read it. i dont kno if it helped but i cant stand the waiting anymore i just dont want to think about her with another guy anymore. i got a tattoo the other day just so i could feel some pain without cutting myself but i just cant keep goin to get tattoos. i want her back and i dont kno what to do...

[madgun68]

Forever,

 

Everyone copes with loss in their own way. She's probably using this new guy to rebound. Doesn't mean she no longer cares and this guy won't last.

 

This may be a hard pill to swallow, but each of you needs more time apart. Especially you. Right now, you're basing your happiness around her and it can't be that way. You need to find happiness without her before you two can be happy together.

 

If she read the card you sent her and cried, she does care. That doesn't mean, however, that she feels she can open up her heart to you again thinking things will be different. You're going to have to earn that trust back. Right now, you're not emotionally well enough to do that.

 

If things are going that bad right now, PLEASE, seek counseling to help coping. Don't feel that it's hopeless.. Just understand that you need to be in a better place for it to happen.

[SadForever]

I'm sorry you feel so awful. I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to go on. Wondering if she cares or not. As tempting as it is to "check out", ive found in reality its just not that easy. Try to believe that she does still care about you, and im sure would be devastated if you killed yourself. Try to think of more ways you can distract yourself from thinking about her for awhile. I know it can be hard to motivate to keep busy. Do you have friends or family you can hang out with more? Can you find a hobby to keep you busy? Anything to take your mind off of her. That's what i've had the best luck with. If only there was a way to take the pain away. Time helps too. Please hang in there...

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Reasons to not kill yourself:

 

• You have experienced love and now loss of love. Some people do not experience either. Even though the pain is so bad you just want to end it so you dont feel it anymore, this same pain will make you grow. It will help you mature into your life and understand other peoples pain, when yours has lessened
  
• It's the easy way out for you - yet it's not the easy way for all of the people who love you, care about you, are hoping you're okay, wishing your life was good again - including her.
  
• Your life is about you - not how one person affects your life. You have the power to change, heal, understand, empathise.
  
• Life is not what one person can offer you but what you can offer yourself in the experiences you choose to participate in.

I'm very sorry for your pain. And the one thing you can guarantee is that pain, as all emotions, are transient. They change. It may not be noticeable but one day soon you will wake up and suddenly, for some reason, you will feel a little bit better, a bit more positive. This will snowball gradually into your pain being replaced by memories.

 

Be strong. Show yourself how strong you can be by living through the pain and gaining understanding of yourself.

[Teacher's Pet]

I can't tell you to live or to die...

 

But let me give you something to think about..

 

I've survived 2 horrible breakups, a lost child, a close friend being permanently disabled by a drunk driver, a dead pet, my mother's slowly failing health, and now just getting dumped *yesterday* by the first girl that I've felt comfortable with in a year.

 

I'm still here, and I'm still fighting.

 

You can too.

 

-tp

FIGHT, MAN, FIGHT!

[Outofluck]

I've got to admit that anyone who has gone through that pain can probably relate to your feelings..myself included. Just remember, if you kill yourself, thats it..you're dead. She will go on with her life and get married, have kids etc. You will still be dead...won't solve anything.

 

Based on your post, I think that there is hope for you. If you really want this person back you probably stand a chance. Since you have only been apart a short while, this new fellow is likely a rebound and most of the time those don't last.

 

The first thing that you have to do is ask yourself what went wrong in the realationship...and fix it. I don't just mean telling her that you will change and then a few days/ weeks into the relationship revert back to your old ways. I MEAN REALLY CHANGE. This is probably the hardest part.

 

I would strongly suggest not contacting this person either. You seem to be in too delicate of a state to act rationally and will likely say something that you will regret later. As illogical as it sounds, not contacting this person is the best thing to do for you. In addition, if you act irrationally, she will likely have a good laugh at your expense with the new fellow and will be pushed farther away from you.

 

One of the worst parts of the end of a relationship is the misconception that the other person simply doesn't care and that you are "no big deal" to them. Personally, after six months apart from my ex (now a year) she told me that it bothered her so much that I didn't care. Actually I did, a lot. It appeared as though I didn't care because we went for weeks at a time without talking but I thought about her all the time. Believe me, she does care..human nature, if she really didn't, she's not the one for you.

 

Hang in there, evaluate your situation..do you really want this person back? If so, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, everything else will fall into place..trust me, I've learned the hard way.

 

Good luck.