Heartbroken Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 My boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. Everything was going wonderful (or so I thought) until a week ago. We had plans to go out and he cancelled saying he had some things he needed to get done. The next morning he called and said he wanted to break up. It was that sudden. This happened a week and a half ago. I spoke to him a few days ago and he said he still cares about me but doesnt feel in love anymore. Then I found out that there is another piece of information...a friend (a much younger female friend) is in town this month for christmas. I need help! I love him very much, and I need help getting him back. He wants me to give him time, but I am afraid that the more space I give him the farther away he'll go. Everyone says give him space, give him time, but I don't want to hear that. I want to know how to win him back. Please help... Link to post Share on other sites
Karen Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 I know you don't want to hear that you should give him time and space. Believe me, I know what it feels like and it is a very hard thing to do but you must do it. There is no magical way of "winning" him back. The harder you push for it, the further away he'll wander. If you love him like you say, then give him the time he says he needs. I'm not saying to put your life on hold forever for him. Set a time limit and only you will know what that limit is. Let him know that you are willing to give him time to think things through but that you will not wait forever for him to decide what he wants. Give him the time limit. Be positive, supportive and loving when you talk to him. Limit communication during his "time off". If this time off makes him move farther away well then, unfortunately, he would have left eventually. During this time off, take some time for yourself as well. Do things for you, pamper yourself, whatever it takes to keep your mind off of him. My boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. Everything was going wonderful (or so I thought) until a week ago. We had plans to go out and he cancelled saying he had some things he needed to get done. The next morning he called and said he wanted to break up. It was that sudden. This happened a week and a half ago. I spoke to him a few days ago and he said he still cares about me but doesnt feel in love anymore. Then I found out that there is another piece of information...a friend (a much younger female friend) is in town this month for christmas. I need help! I love him very much, and I need help getting him back. He wants me to give him time, but I am afraid that the more space I give him the farther away he'll go. Everyone says give him space, give him time, but I don't want to hear that. I want to know how to win him back. Please help... Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted December 15, 1999 Share Posted December 15, 1999 It sounds somewhat like your boyfriend wants to play around a little while this other friend is in town for Christmas. In a way, he did the right thing breaking things off with you if he wanted to pursue this other person but the way he did it seems rather abrupt and hurtful. I would ask myself if when this other friend leaves town after Christmas is he going to want to get back with you and will you accept him back? Karen's advice about chasing him will only push him further away is dead on. Take care of yourself for now - it's a tough thing to do at any time sometimes but especially around the holidays.... but you ARE important and you need to look out for yourself and your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts