sara Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 Before we finished the semester, the guy I like asked for my phone number and I asked for his e mail. I sent him an e-mail but he didn´t answer me back. The new semester began last week, I haven´t seen him yet. I don´t know what to do because he dind´t call and it may be an ackward situation(maybe he didn´t call among other reasons because he didn´t want to), I have thought about my real interest in him after one month without seeing him I got to conclussion that I want to be his friend cause I feel a good vibe when we´re r together, He is the kind of guy that waits until I go and say hi, maybe he is shy o he isn´t interested in me. How can I show him that I want to be his friend, that I´m not romanticly interested in him, (we don´t know each other that much) and that I want to get to know him better.? What should I do? Thanks for any advice you can give me =) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 I don't think a guy who doesn't reply to your nice email or who doesn't call you after he asks for your phone number is a guy you want for a friend...unless you're into some rare form of emotional masochism. He might be shy, but even the extremely shy have no trouble with email. And if he wasn't too shy to ASK for your phone number...something even guys who aren't shy have trouble with... surely he wouldn't have trouble dialing a phone. You ought to think about this pretty seriously and choose your friends wisely. Don't contact him again at all. There is no need to show him any kind of interest at this point. You sound like a very sharp lady who wouldn't be the least bit interested in a guy who would jerk you around before he's even gotten a chance to know you. If you run into him on campus and he gives you some kind of lame excuse about he lost your phone number or his granny died, let him know you were disappointed he didn't reply to your email. If he tells you his computer was broken, tell him he could have accessed his mail on a friend's computer. If he tells you he has no friends, you can tell him there's a good reason why! Oh, if he tells you his granny died...ask him just how many times that has happened. It's when people don't pay attention to these early warning signals others give us that they get screwed in life. Start paying attention!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 Thanks Tony=) I will have to wait to hear for his arguments about what happen , but to tell you the truth right now I´m more interested in all the new things I´m going to do this semester in college than trying to figure him out. And I will pay more attention at all the early signals that anyone gives me, I really appreciate your words =) Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted February 18, 2003 Author Share Posted February 18, 2003 I got the chance to see the guy I´ve been talking about again. I saw him a couple of times the last week but he didn´t´t see me, I didn´t feel nothing, not anger because he didn´t reach me during the holidays:(, or excitement, nothing!That made feel very happy, as Tony told in a previous post reply, I have to be more selective with the persons I want to be friends with. But yesterday something weird happened, He got the chance to see me I had to go to the library and he was with his friends chatting in the middle of the way and I just walked in front of him (I didn´t want to)I kept talking with my friend, and tried to keep casual. Even thought I don´t feel nothing for him, I felt very nervous, I want to get over with that, it´s silly to feel nervous just to walk in front of someone who don´t cares about me, but I can´t help it Any thoughts? Thank you and have a nice week =) PS: thanks for your previous advices Tony Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 The only reasons we get nervous around somebody is if we LIKE them or if we just don't want any kind of encounter at all. My guess is you still have a bit of fondness for this guy whether you want to admit it or not. Don't write him off entirely but, given time, you'll surely meet someone who will set your heart on fire. You don't even know what nervous is...pounding heart and all...until you meet somebody you REALLY like!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted February 20, 2003 Author Share Posted February 20, 2003 I saw him today, and yesterday too and it turned out to be as i I thought it would be, he totally dissimulated and acted as if I were not there. Yesterday he was in the library and we saw each other right into our eyes, I felt nervous, again, but I kept looking for some books with my friends, you trying to be as calm as I could. He was with one of his friends and on his way to the exit they passed in front of me but he didn´t even look at me. Today I was going on my way to the parking lot and he was just arriving, he dissimulated again. One of my friends told me i should forget about him, and the other told me to talk to him if the occasion comes out, and try to find out whats going on with him. I know what nervous is Tony:( My heart goes like crazy, I start to talk pretty fast and my hands get all sweaty, my face goes totally red, I feel a huge hole in my stomach, all I can think is to try to stay calm, but it doesn´t work at all. That´s what I felt at the begining of this situation. But the last couple of times, the nervousism was a bit different, cause instead of feeling like my heart would come out of my chest, It hurted, my heart hurted, It sounds corny but I felt a bit of anger too, about his behavoir and to myself for feeling weak,and for let his indeference hurt me I had to pretend like I din´t care either. The hole situation makes feel unhappy because it keeps me wondering what did I do wrong?(I feel like I´m the one who is wrong) and Why does he act like that? How can he go on with his life ácting like I dont even exist, Does he have feelings at all? I don´t want to give him more of my thoughts but he keeps popping in my head, not in a romantic way. But most of all I´m tired of paying attention to someone like him, It makes feel so masochist, I know I´m not perfect but I consider myself a good person, and I deserve what everybody else deserves: someone honest, caring, considerate and all the things we look in a person. What do I have to do to find someone who will be willing to know the real me and who won´t prejudge me without even Know me? There are good men out there, but where can I found one? I´m feeling a little bit down these days, maybe that´s why I´m thinking to much about the situation. You are rigth Tony someday I will meet someone who will set me heart on fire =) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 21, 2003 Share Posted February 21, 2003 It's important for you to stop thinking about this guy and move on to more important things. Quality romance will not come into your life until that happens. It makes no difference why he is acting this way. What does make a difference is that you open yourself up to love that will be mutual and complete for you...and reject anything short of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted April 9, 2003 Author Share Posted April 9, 2003 Last Monday I saw the guy I talked to you before after 2 months. I was in the cafeteria with one friend, it was raining really hard and we got stucked in there for about 20 minutes. I didn´t see him until the last 5 minutes, (we were standing very close to each other) but by the way he was acting i could tell that he already had seen me. I was more preoccupied for the rain and the fact that that I had to go my next class, I didn´t want to get wet! When I noticed him, my friend told that he had been in there all that time and that he acted really weird, I guess he was feeling uncomfortable, so he grabbed his cell ¿phone and started to talk, I guess it way his way of telling me "don´t approach me I´m busy"...mhmm!! stupid man!! As if I was interested on talking to him after his promises of calling an Emailing me during vacations brake didn´t come true. My friend told me that maybe he started to talked on the cellphone because he didn´t want me to reject him and he appeared to be nervous. I keep very present the words you told me Tony the last time I posted a message, and I know that I deserve so much better, now I know that having him around it doesn´t affect me at all, I wish him the best cause he is a good guy, he just wasn´t interested in me, so there´s no reason for feeling bad about the situation. I was reading some posts and I thank you for all the advices you give, even when the situation doesn´t fit my problems there are always thoughts and advices that help me to have hope that there are still good men out there. Sending you lots of hugs Sara Link to post Share on other sites
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