What should I do now?

[Don]

I have a new girlfriend who has a cat that she loved and treated like a person. I figured I could score a lot of points with her if I agreed to keep the cat at my place while she was away for a couple days. Well I never had any kind of pet before, but I figured it would be easy. Even though it was kind of cold outside, I figured the cat would be ok in my garage. The next morning I looked all around the garage and could not find it. I thought it had somehow gotten out of the garage, so I decided to drive around the neighbor hood looking for it. When I started my car, a horrible sound came from the engine compartment. I shut the engine off and opened the hood. What I found was not pleasant. The cat must have crawled into the engine compartment to keep warm and now it was entangled in the belts and pulleys. I called my cousin who has had cats in the past. He came over right away and after looking at it, told me the cat was dead. We had the car towed to a service station to get it extracted from the engine. At this point I don't really know what to do. The cat is quite nasty looking so it's not like I could just say it died naturally. What can I tell her? Should I say it ran away? Perhaps I should buy her a new cat? My cousin says at this point, my best bet is to start looking for a new girlfriend. Any advice out there?

[simmer]

I have a new girlfriend who has a cat that she loved and treated like a person. I figured I could score a lot of points with her if I agreed to keep the cat at my place while she was away for a couple days. Well I never had any kind of pet before, but I figured it would be easy. Even though it was kind of cold outside, I figured the cat would be ok in my garage. The next morning I looked all around the garage and could not find it. I thought it had somehow gotten out of the garage, so I decided to drive around the neighbor hood looking for it. When I started my car, a horrible sound came from the engine compartment. I shut the engine off and opened the hood. What I found was not pleasant. The cat must have crawled into the engine compartment to keep warm and now it was entangled in the belts and pulleys. I called my cousin who has had cats in the past. He came over right away and after looking at it, told me the cat was dead. We had the car towed to a service station to get it extracted from the engine. At this point I don’t really know what to do. The cat is quite nasty looking so it’s not like I could just say it died naturally. What can I tell her? Should I say it ran away? Perhaps I should buy her a new cat? My cousin says at this point, my best bet is to start looking for a new girlfriend. Any advice out there? Yeah right! Maybe YOU should run away and buy yourself a new girlfriend. No, really, ever see the movie "Rocket Man"? Just tell her "Wasn't me".

 

[LoveAngel]

Don,

What can I tell her? Should I say it ran away? Perhaps I should buy her a new cat? My cousin says at this point, my best bet is to start looking for a new girlfriend. Any advice out there?

One cannot help but question the validity of your story as it resembles, almost entirely, a well-disputed urban legend regarding the tendency for cats to become decapitated inside the engines of cars. (For a recent thread regarding the matter in alt.folklore.urban, see the enclosed link.) While there have been possibly true stories resembling yours, the question still remains.

 

Regardless of whether or not this actually happened, the question really becomes one of the type of person you are. If you care at all for this woman, you should tell her nothing short of the truth. You obviously did not intentionally hurt the cat, and if anything, you were being kind by offering to take it in. Unfortunately this tragic event occured.

 

Any pet owner will tell you that you simply cannot replace the cat with a similar looking one. She'll be able to tell instantly and you'll only get yourself in deeper trouble. I wouldn't greet her immediately with a new kitten either as she'll probably be mourning her old cat. Perhaps, however, a nice gesture in the future when she's come to terms with the lost of her loved-one (as you stated, she cared deeply for the cat) could be to purchase her a new kitten. This is something that the two of you need to discuss however. She may not be comfortable with taking in a new animal. The opposite could be the case also. A new kitten may actually help her in dealing with this situation. It's entirely dependent on her personality and emotional attachment with the cat.

 

And lastly, if you think you can simply forget she exists in an effort not to deal with your mistake, I suggest taking some time away from dating until you've come to terms with the personal responsibilities that are an essential part of any relationship. Have at least the respect and decency to tell her the truth and accept the consequences.

 

Best wishes,

 

LoveAngel

[Guy]

Definately come clean completely with your girlfriend. When it's hard to be open with your sig other is also usually when it's most important. She probably won't break up with you over an accident. On the other hand if you try and fool her about it she very well may leave because the trust is gone. Be sensitive about her loss, help her with a nice burial of sorts. She should get over it. If she doesn't than move on. Getting attached to pets is great, I've had cats that I loved very much, but when it interferes with people's relationships then she's got a problem, it is after all...just a cat.

Don, One cannot help but question the validity of your story as it resembles, almost entirely, a well-disputed urban legend regarding the tendency for cats to become decapitated inside the engines of cars. (For a recent thread regarding the matter in alt.folklore.urban, see the enclosed link.) While there have been possibly true stories resembling yours, the question still remains. Regardless of whether or not this actually happened, the question really becomes one of the type of person you are. If you care at all for this woman, you should tell her nothing short of the truth. You obviously did not intentionally hurt the cat, and if anything, you were being kind by offering to take it in. Unfortunately this tragic event occured. Any pet owner will tell you that you simply cannot replace the cat with a similar looking one. She'll be able to tell instantly and you'll only get yourself in deeper trouble. I wouldn't greet her immediately with a new kitten either as she'll probably be mourning her old cat. Perhaps, however, a nice gesture in the future when she's come to terms with the lost of her loved-one (as you stated, she cared deeply for the cat) could be to purchase her a new kitten. This is something that the two of you need to discuss however. She may not be comfortable with taking in a new animal. The opposite could be the case also. A new kitten may actually help her in dealing with this situation. It's entirely dependent on her personality and emotional attachment with the cat. And lastly, if you think you can simply forget she exists in an effort not to deal with your mistake, I suggest taking some time away from dating until you've come to terms with the personal responsibilities that are an essential part of any relationship. Have at least the respect and decency to tell her the truth and accept the consequences.

 

Best wishes, LoveAngel