Newbie Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 Hi I have been here a few times and found all of your suggestions very helpful so I am back again. Lastnight I seen this guy that I have been dating for a few months, His words hurt and I ended up calling him after he left and told him that I could tell that he was not happy with me and that I was ending it. First off, his words were, I do not care what you do ,do what you want. he said this 4 times in one nihgt and I was upset when he left. I know that cuz of past he has a problem with trust and he deals with it this way (a way to protect himself). after he got home he called me 4 times asking what it was all about. I would not answer and he left the message on the phone. I know that I have to talk to him, I really do not want this to end but I can not handle somethings that he says. I have told him that it makes me mad when he says it. he did stop for awhile then all of a sudden when I tell him that my ex was coming in march for the break to see his kids( he live 3000 miles away) he said oh your man is coming back. how can I get him to see that he is my man and that I am not the type to mess around on him. I know that he has to see it himself and that it is not my problem but because I am involved with him it is now my problem cuz i have the feelings happening. PLease help!!! thanking everyone in advance Newbie Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 There is simply no way you can cause a person to mature. That is something they have to do in their own good time in their own way. If he has a tiny bit of maturity, enough for you to explain to him in detail how you feel, it would be nice to have a long talk with him. The communication between the two of you is pretty sorry. I personally wouldn't bother hanging around somebody who was constantly saying things that hurt me. This shows an incompatibility that may be very difficult to surmount. However, give it one last try and talk to him. Why would you want to work so hard on a relationship with such a child? If it doesn't work, go find someone who is mentally stable and mature. Your life will be a lot happier and less chaotic that way. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 how can I get him to see that he is my man and that I am not the type to mess around on him. You can't. The only thing you can do is behave in a trustworthy manner and hope he eventually gets it. You can't force it. I know that he has to see it himself and that it is not my problem but because I am involved with him it is now my problem cuz i have the feelings happening. No, it is not your problem. You are not married to this man. He has trust issues that have nothing to do with you. Step back and take a look at the situation. Do you really want to continue being involved with someone who doesn't trust you? It isn't going to get any better. Link to post Share on other sites
Newbie Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 It's so over.... ended last night and today he was at my work to get his stuff back from me, i found out that he has been lying to me and i confronted him on it, i went ot his place alast night and he was pretending that he was not there, but i knew that he was then he called my best friend and he explined that he is scared of me and that he is scared that i am going ot beat him up(ya right , thats just funy) anyways, thanks for everything again. I was and at time feeling hurt because he wants to be friends with me. that i told him i do not think so, he thinks that ui am mad, I have tried to explained to him that i am not mad i am just emotionally hurt and that it will take some time to get over this, it has been a short time and I know that I get along with him, very funny and he is very nice, just a problem with him lying to me too much. tell me what you think about a friendship thing with him, ya i do care but i also care about all my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts