I thought he was crazy about me....

[buzzie2]

There is this guy from my workplace. He is one of the assistant managers. He had been showing an interest in me since before Xmas. It started with him playing little games like paging me for no reason and then laughing and saying he thought I "was hiding on him". I always caught him staring at me and he would rub my shoulder sometimes. My boss even thought he liked me because he used to ask her I was closing and if she said it was me his face would light up, but if she said it was the other girl he would look disapointed. Anyways, although I was always polite and proffessional, I never really showed an interest in him or flirted back because I don't think you should date a coworker. Well I guess I started to really like this guy, so one day I acted very flirtatiously. What happened is he walked by and said "how are doing tonight". I then said " How are YOU doing tonight" (which I never used to do, I would usually just say I was good.) Well he walked back and said "did you just ask me something"? And this time i smiled seductively and asked him again "how are you doing"? well this was his reaction. His face lit up like a xmas tree, then he got this love sick look in his eyes. Then he looked embarrassed and walked away. For the next couple of nights he could barely look at me. Then he started acting really lovey dovey and would stutter around me.

Now he is acting cool around me. He still says hi to me but he's making no effert at all to flirt. He hasnt even asked my out for even a coffee. Do you think he's lost interst? Because i just find it strange that a guy who was crazy about me for months would just suddenly lose interest.

Does anyone have any ideas?

[NineGirl]

oh WOW..GUYs are just so fascinating! No hun, he has not lost any interest in you, the thing about most males is that when they notice that the person they are interested in starts to show feelings back, they are either taken back or he now knows that you may actually like him, so he's just watching your behavior.

Its interesting because for us girls, when we know a guy likes us, we just love to see them chase after us.. but when we notice that they are not showing the same attention as before, we wonder "what happened??, what did i do??" Like suddenly now we care about how he feels..

My opinion from what your saying, he does like you, but just because hes not as attentive and droopy over you, does not mean he has lost interest...BUT for now, play it cool..Dont let him see that you may actually like him because that will give him the upper hand!

[LucreziaBorgia]

His face lit up like a xmas tree, then he got this love sick look in his eyes. Then he looked embarrassed and walked away. For the next couple of nights he could barely look at me. Then he started acting really lovey dovey and would stutter around me.

 

Unfortunately, this is very subjective. It is only your perception of how he took your flirtation, through a filter of wishful thinking. It could very easily be that he simply saw that a flirtation that he never intended to act on was reciprocated and he decided to back off because he doesn't want to actually date you. Could be that he is as hinky about dating coworkers as you are, or that he isn't really interested at all and is backing off when the 'safe' flirting became something that he wasn't really in the game for.

 

Or.. it could be that he really does want to date you. I would think that shutting you off cold would be a strange way of showing it, but you never know.

 

The point is, is that people flirt - for many reasons, even when they aren't interested in dating the person they are flirting with. It can be the thrill of the chase, an ego boost, something fun to do during an otherwise boring workday, something that can be said to be a 'favor' to the other person's ego, etc. It is all speculation though, unless you know his true motivations. You won't know this until you actually talk to him about it. Even then you may not find out what you want to know, but at least you won't be wondering about it.

 

Ask him out for coffee or something - a 'safe' date that will allow the two of you to talk casually. Don't drop the "why aren't you acting like you are into me" thing on him. That would be very, very bad. Just talk casually and watch his actions. If he is cold toward you in this out-of-work setting, or if he turns you down altogether for going out like that, then you'll have your answer. His motivation was something like I listed above.

 

If he goes, and you two hit if off talking about casual stuff then there is a greater chance that there was actually some substance behind the flirting. Who knows... if you hit it off and you enjoy each other's company he may be more willing to ask you out on an actual date. Then, his motivation was to ease you into a dating situation.

 

Then again, there is always the risk of him looking for an easy lay, too. Just play it cool, don't jump right into bed with him, and get to know him as a person for a while. If he insists on getting sexual with you, without making any effort to get to know you, then you'll know his motivation was purely sex.

 

Complicated, somewhat - but you'll have to get him out of the office, and into a safe environment for some 'getting to know you' time before you'll know anything concrete.

[elias2k2]

Well this actually happened to me.

 

In my situation, I liked the girl she work at a store in the place that worked at, when we met it felt like we had such a connection and didn't even talk the first day, we only looked at each other on the first day we met.

 

The next week i started really wanting to talk to her, I was anxious and couldn't even sleep so I waited until the next time and we finally talked, i introduced myself, we hit it off, we talked for like 20 minutes and as time progressed we started being more friends, I was younger then and therefore I didn't have girl experience and I got nervous when she started getting closer, I know that she wanted to, but it was a work situation and you never know. Girls are always friendly with me so, I didn't want to make a move that will humiliate me and so I decided to not tell her.

 

I know I had a special connection with her, but I never understood girls, she was a brunette, and her co worker was a blond, and that was the other problem I never got the chance to talk to her alone because I know her co worker wanted to always talk to me, i think she had a crush on me. her co worker and I were really close i mean she has slept over, no sex just slept over and we watched movies in the couch, and then we went to bed in my room. and still calls me, she doesn't know. The other problem was that they would always compete when talking to me so it was a really bad situation because i would be wanting to talk to her, my friend the blond wanted to talk to me.

 

I let a year and a half go by not doing anything about it, I felt awful because of the situation, I couldn't sleep well thinking about her and now she's gone. I am engaged now, not that happy as I know I would of been with her and now she is gone.

 

The bottom line is, don't waste time if you really like this guy I urge you to talk to him, find out if hes interested, women can approach easier than guys can at work and sometimes us guys have difficulties talking to a women especially at work, we don't want to lose our jobs or have a sexual harassment lawsuit and thats one of the major reasons we don't approach.

 

Is better than living like me, still thinking about what if, I let it go but even with a girlfriend and engaged I still think about her from time to time, don't make the same mistake.

 

 

 

There is this guy from my workplace. He is one of the assistant managers. He had been showing an interest in me since before Xmas. It started with him playing little games like paging me for no reason and then laughing and saying he thought I "was hiding on him". I always caught him staring at me and he would rub my shoulder sometimes. My boss even thought he liked me because he used to ask her I was closing and if she said it was me his face would light up, but if she said it was the other girl he would look disapointed. Anyways, although I was always polite and proffessional, I never really showed an interest in him or flirted back because I don't think you should date a coworker. Well I guess I started to really like this guy, so one day I acted very flirtatiously. What happened is he walked by and said "how are doing tonight". I then said " How are YOU doing tonight" (which I never used to do, I would usually just say I was good.) Well he walked back and said "did you just ask me something"? And this time i smiled seductively and asked him again "how are you doing"? well this was his reaction. His face lit up like a xmas tree, then he got this love sick look in his eyes. Then he looked embarrassed and walked away. For the next couple of nights he could barely look at me. Then he started acting really lovey dovey and would stutter around me.

Now he is acting cool around me. He still says hi to me but he's making no effert at all to flirt. He hasnt even asked my out for even a coffee. Do you think he's lost interst? Because i just find it strange that a guy who was crazy about me for months would just suddenly lose interest.

Does anyone have any ideas?

[monkey00]

co-worker situations are always tricky. The fact that it's a work atmosphere, you dont know if their flirtatious behavior is being friendly or romantically genuine. It is very possible he freaked out and is backing up, because he doesnt want to take the risk of pushing it further if he thinks you're just being friendly, in the back of his head him flirting back might lead to him getting fired. It's hard to explain, figuring out co-workers can be a mind game sometimes...which is why most of the time its easier to avoid dating co-workers.

 

I have a similar female co-worker. Sometimes she'll be flirty and greet me. Sometimes she wont. A couple times i greeted her she ignored me. most of the time I greet her, she greets me back but looks down in a shy manner.