alexa137 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 after ur bf/gf cheats how do you move on? how do you cope day to day? i cry everyday-cant look at him without the evil eye what hurts the most is the sex- i just started having sex with him a few days ago and i cry everytime cant help but thinking what did he do with the other girl-i feel like i should and want to let go but its so damn hard! it will never be the same theres no trust even though i see him so much more and keep contact all day long now he has no problems doing or telling me what was i thought was missing the past few months like where he is etc.. buti dont know what to do-we are supposed to go on vacation this weekend but i am not sure-i am supposed to go for a week with my family but he wants me to go just us alone, i also dont want to leave him bcause i feel like checking on him which yeah i know is wrong- oh god part of me just wants to bump my head and get amnesia help! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Without trust, you can't have a healthy relationship. Why are you staying with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 i guess bcause i love him and he loves me its been a very traumatic and dramatic situation- its hard in your first real relationship being with someone everyday for 14 months and then just give up i have alot of firsts with him my past was never anything like this one my last boyfriend was over 15 years ago-one thing though i dont treat him like i used to! and he owes me money and i'm gonna try to get as much as i can from him! i know its not right-but you gotta do what you gotta do-we bought a car together and so far theres no way to get my name off title and our insurance is together also if it splits mine goes up $15 a month which i cant afford and since his "ex-lover" decided to key my car its now in the shop andi have a rental and he says he is gonna pay for the deductible etc since its his fault! i dont know what i am doing day to day just trying to cope and i dont know the future Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 It is the beginning... beginning of the end in my opinion. Look even your thought process is changing. You are going to try and get money from him, that sounds like resentment to me. You are right feeling that way though, but realize you are slowly going into the mode of looking out for yourself. The pain is keeping you there. Part of it may be that you are afraid of being alone, but is the pain you are going through now worth keeping him? You are always going to wonder about this guy... I will say this... if you do choose to stay with this man you are going to have to get over it. I know it is difficult, but then again it is still fresh. Personally i would never be able to forget it and would eventually have to realize that it is time to move on. I know how you feel, trust I do. This will pass... it was not your fault and please believe you deserve better. Thomas Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 i will never forgive or forget it hurts all the time- the day he admitted it which took me weeks of bugging him even though most of the proof was in the phone calls-we were driving around and he got very upset and was going crazy after he told me he did it once he said "are you leaving me?" i said yes bcause that is the worst thing and the most disgusting putting my life in danger etc..oh boy did he get crazy screaming and driving crazy i was crying and we were big time fighting--then he says your not going anywhere were stuck together i will marry you now etc..since then hes been talking about getting a house together but its so hard to believe in him since weve been through so much-we started dating in april 2006 he moved in my apt july 2006 then we moved into a house(rented) in Oct 2006 and in Feb 2007 when all this crap started(you can read all of my other posts in many forums) he decided he didnt want to pay rent anymore(it took all his paychecks) and moved to his dads then i had no choice but to move back to where i was before(low income projects) and a week later when i told him i thought i was pregnant he was so excited and happy and moved back in the next night! everything was kinda ok other than he wasnt spending much time with me said he wanted to be with family(they are very close and a big family) i know--and most of the time he was there--they live within a block or two from me same apartment complex and then i just had to open his cell phone bill a few weeks ago and boom 251 calls to same # --i questioned him nothing more drama so i called her and she said they were messing around shes 6 yrs younger than him--so much more took him 2 weeks to finally admit it ok thats all for now Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 I can barely even read your story. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My only suggestion to you is to end this relationship and start the healing process NOW. It won't get any better if you stay... Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 yes i know part of the reason is because i dont want to be alone-i was alone for many years before him and its so hard because i love him to death and i know he loves me alot also i know they say if someone loves you they dont cheat i believe that too but i dont think a man would stick around as much as i put him through if he really didnt love me he wouldnt have said forget it a long time ago but he still keeps coming back i just hate to think about it-and he gets mad when i do but what does he expect? part of me just wants to go out and screw someone so he knows how it feels! but what will that solve? thats not in my nature anyways! he will never understand the pain and hurt and now the trust--i am now crying my eyes out at work bcause we are arguing about vacation this weekend-supposed to go to the beach together but drama-cant cancel bcause they wont give $150 deposit back so i told him we can go as friends....he keeps calling i cant talk to him right now too upset i dont know what i am doing my life has been turned upside down Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 You seem extremely concerned about trivial amounts of money. $15. a month raise in auto insurance, $150. vacation deposit. Those amounts are not important. Imagine your situation ten-twenty years from now, with literally hundreds of thousands of dollars at stake. Best to tighten the belt a little bit now to get through the short term financial drain. You are young, there's no trust. Move on and cut your losses. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts