marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 It occurred to me that most of the very handsome men I dated were bad prime material for serious, long -term relationships. I even married one and what a disaster that turned out to be. Do they all turn out to be narcissists? Are they all "too full of themselves" to ever be able see beyond their perfectly chiseled noses? Are they so wrapped up in their "I'm God's gift to women" attitude that they are somehow incapable of giving and partaking of mature love? Are they forever cursed to just forever gaze into their own reflection in the lake like Narcissus in ancient Greek mythology? Are they somehow emotionally crippled? Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? Just curious to know what you all think. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 i married one as well. my short answer would be yes. i'm currently seeking out the ugliest - nicest man i can find. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 re: Marlena: "Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? Just curious to know what you all think." (Smile) I guess men have wondered the same thing in regards to plain, or average-looking women, too. I think it keys in on the experience of the person blessed with the good looks -and whether they have, or haven't matured beyond the value of their good looks. If good looks were the only thing that mattered in relationships, we'd be even more uncertain when someone uttered the words, "I love you" -we'd second-guess the very meaning of the words, and whether or not our beloved would be saying them as soon as our looks started fading. We'd worry much more about extra pounds, and aging; we'd feel left out or be afraid of abandonment just because our looks suffered under the hand of time and grew a little shabby. Thank God, there's more to it than good looks! And, no!- I don't necessarily think that men or women who are physically less attractive have better, or stronger, or more meaningful, or longer lasting relationships. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 More attractive people of both genders get their ass kissed so it goes to their heads. This pumps their ego into the stratosphere and they start thinking they are better than everybody. Of course their are very attractive people such as my wife who are down to earth but it is hard not to let it go to your head. Link to post Share on other sites
elias2k2 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Well I wouldn't date a beautiful women because they usually end up being a pain in the ass, too much maintance, too expensive and just overall too many headackes. I think that the same thing goes to a women dating a really attractive guy, you are really dating a child because good looking people rarely mature because they dont feel that they have to because they think that they are perfect. I have some good looking friends and they don't live good and happy lives is an issue after issue. An average guy will respect and apretiate you more and thats a fact, same thing with dating a skinny model type girl they are a pain in the ass and they have soo many issues and the fights are always there. quote=marlena;1219972]It occurred to me that most of the very handsome men I dated were bad prime material for serious, long -term relationships. I even married one and what a disaster that turned out to be. Do they all turn out to be narcissists? Are they all "too full of themselves" to ever be able see beyond their perfectly chiseled noses? Are they so wrapped up in their "I'm God's gift to women" attitude that they are somehow incapable of giving and partaking of mature love? Are they forever cursed to just forever gaze into their own reflection in the lake like Narcissus in ancient Greek mythology? Are they somehow emotionally crippled? Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? Just curious to know what you all think. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 It occurred to me that most of the very handsome men I dated were bad prime material for serious, long -term relationships. I even married one and what a disaster that turned out to be. Do they all turn out to be narcissists? Are they all "too full of themselves" to ever be able see beyond their perfectly chiseled noses? Are they so wrapped up in their "I'm God's gift to women" attitude that they are somehow incapable of giving and partaking of mature love? Are they forever cursed to just forever gaze into their own reflection in the lake like Narcissus in ancient Greek mythology? Are they somehow emotionally crippled? Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? Just curious to know what you all think. I would say that, in general, beautiful people are more narcissist, it does affect their personality I would think. They are used to being 'looked at', 'admired' and they can't settle for only ONE person being their admirer. I can say that I have lived both sides of this... I was a very 'ordinary' plain Jane most of my life... up till I quit smoking... 2 years later to be exact. I rarely had any compliments back then... Then my whole body changed... I became a lot more confident... then I noticed that men were different... looking at me like they never looked at me before... it is 'addictive' and very flattering..and yes it went up my head. Much younger men started to ask me out... Since then... it's been 10 years now... not one day goes by, that I don't get a 'smile', a flirt, a compliment... and it feels amazing. Do I want to settle for ONE guy... NEVER!!! I am addicted to all that attention now, and I want to ENJOY this. So yes, an average Joe makes a much better life partner, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 "you are really dating a child because good looking people rarely mature" Elias, that's what my experience has been so far. They never mature. They expect you to cater to their ever whim. They are like children very selfish! 2 sunny I'm following n your footsteps! "If good looks were the only thing that mattered in relationships, we'd be even more uncertain when someone uttered the words, "I love you" -we'd second-guess the very meaning of the words, and whether or not our beloved would be saying them as soon as our looks started fading". But Rio, look at what's happening! More and more people are trading in their old models for newer ones! It is a social phenomenon! Never mind the plastic surgery business - it's a booming industry ! And of course it has nothing to do with gender! Men are questioning themselves about this all the time, I'm sure. You know - marry the girl- next-door but bed the one with the great looks! And somehow I can't believing that the person who does mature way and beyond his good looks - is a rare specimen indeed! It seems, at times, a contradiction in terms! Hugs Rio! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marlena Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 Lizzie, Maybe I should stop smoking, huh? But would I want to be at that end of the spectrum> YOU BET!!! Seriously, beautiful people do seem to flit about here and there like butterflies -- singing "catch me if you can"! Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 re: Marlena: " But Rio, look at what's happening! More and more people are trading in their old models for newer ones! It is a social phenomenon!" It only seems that way, Marlena, when you're coming fresh from the experience. The whole world is *not* Hollywood. (Smile) There are folks out there (you just haven't met the "one", for you, yet) who aren't so easily led by *nothing more* than a pretty face. Put some time and distance bewteen you and your recent experience with The Love God (Smile) -the guy you were seeing -and see if you don't feel differently one day future. All your thoughts about love, relationships, and probably, men in general, are kind of "infected", right now, or significantly clouded with at least, some level of bitterness because of how it all turned out for you. Give time to refresh your thoughts and outlook. You'll see things more positively soon enough. -Rio P.S. -And yes, -*try* to stop! smoking! Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Reminds me of a quote "Never tell a kid that they are smart, because they might actually believe it." It applies somehow, but I dont feel like explaining it. Yes, I think not so good looking people are better catches because they are more stable. We know how to deal with rejection, learn how to make friends with just ourselves and learning respect in the process. I grew up insecure due to my weight among other reasons. I developed so much character I can perform a one man show of a Shakespeare play. Us average people dont get as depressed growing old or wont be plastic surguring ourselves to ridiculousness because we dont have a need to chase our looks. Link to post Share on other sites
halfarock Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I would say that, in general, beautiful people are more narcissist, it does affect their personality I would think. They are used to being 'looked at', 'admired' and they can't settle for only ONE person being their admirer… ... it is 'addictive' and very flattering..and... not one day goes by, that I don't get a 'smile', a flirt, a compliment... and it feels amazing. Let’s not forget conceited, vain… Add to it; much higher than average intelligence, admired highly refined talents and skills, and this great personality every one keeps talking about… when you’re always hearing people use words like wonderful, amazing, fantastic, one in a million, awesome, dreamy, et al. as they sing your praises. When you realize then master the hold you have on others’ attention and imagination – where just your smile, your presence can make someone’s day (even total strangers) and others, your absence leaves them wanting. Wherever you go there is always someone there willing to be your friend, attend to your needs, offer you special treatment. When your every moment out in public is like a performance, whether you want it to be or not. How can it not affect your personality, your outlook on life, your interactions with others…? It can drive you crazy. But, and in response to the OP, average men (which is like 80% of all men) tend to be more appreciative, or at least more tolerant of who they can get. A very handsome man gets to pick and choose. Since he has a much higher standard, of what it takes for a woman to make him happy, to capture his imagination, it’s easy, I suppose, to be less tolerant of women who don’t play along. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 There are many good looking men and women who are down to earth and are not narcissistic. I don't feel looks have much to do with long term abilities as a romantic partner. I'm willing to bet if you've dated a really good looking person, someone who you feel is out of your league, and they turned out to be a bad person for you, you probably ignored some red flags earlier because they were just so darn good looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 The best guys are the guys who were nerdy little geeks in high school who turn into gloriously handsome, smart, funny, witty, charming men. Those are the best. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 The best guys are the guys who were nerdy little geeks in high school who turn into gloriously handsome, smart, funny, witty, charming men. Those are the best. yeah, I am pretty awesome . But I have yet to date a woman who didn't roll her eyes if I revealed I was president of the physics club in college! PhDork. That's why I'm taking an improv class, I don't have to reveal my past, all I have to do is approach women and ask them to help me with my lines (and the ones who get that line are worth talking to). Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 See, you turned out just fine!! I really prefer the band geeks and computer nerds, myself. I was the physics nerd-pothead-cheerleader. Quite the combo, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 there were many gorgeous women in our physics department. Is was odd, there were only a handful, but half of them were 8's, 9's, and 10's. Candy for eyes. most players I see aren't that good looking. They just try really hard and they make it their lifestyle. There are many good looking men (and women) who are more focused on their careers or other interests and they make great partners; because their focus is elsewhere, however, fewer foxy women intersect their lives. Date someone you like, who you feel attraction for. don't let beauty hide red flags. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 The best guys are the guys who were nerdy little geeks in high school who turn into gloriously handsome, smart, funny, witty, charming men. Those are the best. You make a good point because growing up I was overweight. This caused me to learn how to handle weight gain and build a personality and stand out in different ways. I am very evil in that I LOVE it when seeing people I went to highschool look like CRAP! And I actually look the best I have ever been. Gloriously hansome? That sounds too pretty boyish. Maybe Im brutally good looking? Who cares. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I really prefer the band geeks and computer nerds, myself. That sums me up to a 'T' (tee? tea?). Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 See, you turned out just fine!! I really prefer the band geeks and computer nerds, myself. I was the physics nerd-pothead-cheerleader. Quite the combo, eh? Somehow, SG, I'm not surprised by your diversity of background. I suspect you would have been a blast in high school. Of the three, which are you most and least proud? As for handsome men being narcissistic, I believe that's way too general. It's the whole "Beauty and the Beast" thing with the conceited Gaston. Why does popular culture persist in stereotyping the very attractive as conceited, narcissistic and superficial? We have rights, and feelings, too! The beautiful: the new suspect class. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 That sums me up to a 'T' (tee? tea?). I know, sweets...it's no wonder I like ya so much. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 It occurred to me that most of the very handsome men I dated were bad prime material for serious, long -term relationships. Thats mainly cause they can get women at the drop of a hat....even if they are poor and dumb. I even married one and what a disaster that turned out to be. how unfortunate. Do they all turn out to be narcissists? Are they all "too full of themselves" to ever be able see beyond their perfectly chiseled noses? Probably....but all societies have a deep respect for beauty, so can you really blame them? Are they so wrapped up in their "I'm God's gift to women" attitude that they are somehow incapable of giving and partaking of mature love? they want variety and love together. 'tis better to be loved by a 100 women than one. Are they somehow emotionally crippled? some may be....some may not. but they are all taking advantage of what was given them genetically. Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? there are many average looking men that treat their women like dirt also.... Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 It occurred to me that most of the very handsome men I dated were bad prime material for serious, long -term relationships. I even married one and what a disaster that turned out to be. Do they all turn out to be narcissists? Are they all "too full of themselves" to ever be able see beyond their perfectly chiseled noses? Are they so wrapped up in their "I'm God's gift to women" attitude that they are somehow incapable of giving and partaking of mature love? Are they forever cursed to just forever gaze into their own reflection in the lake like Narcissus in ancient Greek mythology? Are they somehow emotionally crippled? Do ugly - or even simply average - looking men - make better lifetime partners? Just curious to know what you all think. Lets not generalize here. Sure some of the "more attractive" men may be into themselves but not all of them are. Instead of thinking that you are "Gods gift to women", just be thankful for what you have been given. Link to post Share on other sites
Aussie65 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I totally agree!I have never used this board until I met my current partner.He is good looking,flirty,and funny...what more could a woman want you say?Well hey....someone that I would like to believe wants only ME.We go out...he's looking like he is still 'out there' on the shelf..we go to parties and BBQ's and he is affraid to show me attention as it just may not be cool ya know.I am constantly worried he is going to run off with someone else and have never had this in the past with anyone...then again my last BF was not exactly handsome but a nice guy and I didn't have to worry about him flirting with any girl!. As for me...ive been told im pretty..so why do I feel not good enogh for my man?because like the song goes "oh lord its hard to be humble...when your perfect in every wayyyyyyyyyyyy"...I can't compete with that lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I have to admit that drama seems to surround good-looking men... Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 All I'm going to say is that when your SO is not so attractive, things are easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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