Why do women get so upset at their men who watch porn???

[a4a]

Dude my H won't watch porn...... pisses me off..... whats up with that?

[PandorasBox]

Dude my H won't watch porn...... pisses me off..... whats up with that?

 

 

He is abnormal. Or maybe there's a cell that is missing, the porn cell that is, that is missing? Just kidding.

[rainfall]

1.I love sex and if he chooses to watch porn over having sex with me then that is unfair to me.

2.When the women works hard to look good for her man porn should not be needed. (at least porn that involves strangers...homemade porn is different)

3.When the couple makes porn together and the women has given the guy some special pictures he should be able to use that instead of porn.

[Shan2k]

Do you honestly expect me to believe that the majority of men actually feel this pressure? I doubt that they really consider things on such a 'deep' level. Sorry, I'm trying to get my head around what you're saying, but it's the first time i've ever seen it put this way...

 

No, I didn't say the majority of men. You have no idea what some men go through when having sex. You're not a man. I'm trying to give you a man's perspective. I'm a guy and I've talk to guys on a level you wouldn't think guys talk on (not homosexual either). Some guys feel pressured when trying to satisfy their woman, and some just want to get off. You have no idea of the thoughts that run through our heads when preforming. You can only imagine. A lot of guys will not admit that.

 

Another thing, not all sex is good sex to guys! I know. We may get off but that's because of personal reasons. It's like those commercials or movies where the women say they imagine their men as someone else. That happens with guys too.

 

 

I respect this, but at the same time men don't need porn to be able to get off. My ex told me that he used to feel uncomfortable masturbating at home (where his porn is) if someone was there, so he'd often relieve himself at work because the houses he worked at were empty (he's a tradie). He'd do it without porn or visual stimulation and it seemed to suit him fine.

 

Well that's great for that guy, but a lot of guys use porn to get off and those are the ones some women in relationships have problems with. I do know some guys that can't get off unless there is a woman's private in front of them. All men watch porn for different reasons. So what you are saying a partially true. We don't need it all the time.

 

Ugh, no. I tried this, I felt that i'd probably never be able to live up to his fantasies, based on my looks. I just couldn't carry it off as I was too self-conscious.

 

Exactly, you just couldn't carry it off. You didn't give it a serious chance. You only went half way. You should have been more confidence in yourself. My girlfriend did it and I didn't know she was a bit self-conscious about it, but she pulled it off great. Just wish she would do it more often. Romance is a two-way street. Romance is a double-standard issue in women. On the contrary, a lot of women want romance but some guys think it's cliche and don't bother doing it. And those guys wonder why their women don't want to be intimate.

 

 

It's ok I don't feel 'attacked'. Sorry Shan2k, discuss all you want but it wont change my opinion one bit. I'm no stranger to this issue and I know exactly where i stand.

 

Well if that's the way you feel, fine. It's hard trying to find a guy that doesn't like porn unless he's religious. Pornography is something that has been with guys ever since puberty. It's a sexual fantasy. How many women are men going to find that don't complain, forever horny, submissive, always exceedingly satisfied, and sexy on a frequent bases. It's just entertainment. Some women will never understand or accept why guys like porn even if it's explained to you psychologically.

 

Wanna give it a try?

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1079016,00.html

http://www.handbag.com/relationships/couples/menandporn/

[Shan2k]

1.I love sex and if he chooses to watch porn over having sex with me then that is unfair to me.

2.When the women works hard to look good for her man porn should not be needed. (at least porn that involves strangers...homemade porn is different)

3.When the couple makes porn together and the women has given the guy some special pictures he should be able to use that instead of porn.

 

That a great idea!

 

1) Women take several great quality pictures of your privates.

2) Make a close to professional pornography with you and your man.

 

This will probably solve the serious issue you have with porn. Literally!

 

But the question is, how many women are willing to exploit themselves like this for their man?

[Mr. Lucky]

*shrug* I may look 'fine' but I don't look like the ideal woman that both women and men put up on a pedestal.

Having this rubbed in my face would just do my head in.

But Carbine, none of look like that ideal person. And in 20 years, time and gravity will make sure that today's ideal woman doesn't remain ideal. If you feel this way today, will wrinkles and sagging skin turn you asexual as you get older? That part is all in your head - no matter how pretty (or handsome) someone is, somewhere, someplace, there's someone better looking.

 

Is that the only basis by which you can self-measure your own sexual attractiveness?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Lizzie60]

Why do women get so upset when they find out their boyfriends, or husbands watch pornography? I could understand the discomfit if he watches it to where it's interfering with his priorities, denying you quality time & intimacy, or if it’s against your religion… But if those aren’t the reasons, why is it a problem?

 

I love sex and I like to watch porn... I don't mind if my bf watches porn as long as it doesn't replace our 'quality time'... I see no problem.

 

I absolutely don't feel in competition with these women... I know I'm much better... LOL

[Mustang Sally]

I absolutely don't feel in competition with these women... I know I'm much better... LOL

I gotta hand it to you, Lizzie, if you ever find a way to bottle up your secret to having that kind of self-confidence, you will be a gazillionaire. So many women just don't have it...

 

I think your example of a positive self image is more often the exception than the rule. Not sure what can be done to change that in society, either...

[Lizzie60]

I gotta hand it to you, Lizzie, if you ever find a way to bottle up your secret to having that kind of self-confidence, you will be a gazillionaire. So many women just don't have it...

 

I think your example of a positive self image is more often the exception than the rule. Not sure what can be done to change that in society, either...

 

Thank you MS... I don't know either... some people would call it 'vain' or 'conceited' but in real life I am rather introverted... but I am very self-confident... and I've been like that really for the last 10 years... I will be 55 very soon... booo hoooo... but I know I'm blessed with good genes, because I really don't have the body of a 55 yr old. I'm lucky I guess... plus I take good care of myself...

 

I know I am a good lover....practise, practise... makes 'perfect' LOL

 

I wish I knew how to bottle that... and make all that money...LOL

[Jolene]

So funny. In all this talk about porn and how some women are offended by it and yet others numbed to its place in their relationships (or not), nobody has pointed out the obviousness of the fact that it has never been so prevalent as in the last few decades with home movies, dvds and the internet and is now on the list of possible things to be addicted to. It is so readily available today that boys grow up thinking it really is an acceptable substitute for the REAL THING....until way down the road they meet someone they care for. Then they might realize it's not realistic to objectify a woman in such a way. Hence the dilemma...it is very hard to unlearn the very pattern by which you became accustomed to learning. For so many years, a young man will equate the sensation of having an orgasm with what he is visualizing in a porno or in a magazine. Way before he even experiences the real thing for the first time. I might (might) accept the rebuttal that it is ingrained behaviour since it is encouraged as a learning mechanism to start with as a matter of curiosity and immaturity.

 

What did men do in decades past???? They spent more time with their families and less time jerking off I'm guessing. I've read about women who basically don't interact much with their husbands anymore because he is in the computer room all night every night, locks the door and will not associate with the rest of the family. It can get that bad!!!

 

The presence of pornography in our society is not only hovering at our fingertips, but it is addicting for men who "get off" on seeing women as objects of use and/or abuse, and it is a tool that can become a huge interference in a marital relationship, especially if the dude starts getting into hard core. So yeah, of course it will remain a hidden item of the household, cause what man wants to admit to his wife/gf that he's addicted and getting hard core.

 

If a husband finally admits to wanting pornography out in the open, is he looking for acceptance, "spicing up" his life, or basically substituting it for the intimacy he would otherwise be reserving for his loving and hard-working spouse. That is the basis of commitment in a sexual relationship...to say that you have the strength and ability to control yourself and reserve that hottt sexual energy for the one you love the most.

 

I think men realize that their mates have worked hard to gain respect in their lives and relationships. It doesn't seem fair that at the end of the day, men cannot seem to control what they call "primal" urges, since we are no longer cavemen and cavewomen. I am tired of hearing this rebuttal. It is an excuse to be weak-minded.

 

Women have just as much sexual energy, only they were never taught that it is okay to unleash it. Let's face it...women are a bit more guarded from the possibility of pregnancy and abandonment or both. Only "dirty" girls like or provoke it, and what parent wants a teenage daughter to get pregnant, right. Men can objectify a woman and walk away. Is it "primal" that women cannot? I don't think so. We just get pregnant, and by that time, the dude is long gone...nothing to objectify there. Very simple story.

 

If young girls were encouraged the same way that young boys are encouraged to masturbate and indulge themselves, then perhaps the scales would be more balanced, and we wouldn't have to hear canned rebuttals about how men are primal and women have low libido, and then women might feel that not only can they be independent, take the pill and get a job, but they can also have guilt-free and multiple orgasms with or without a man.

 

So if men can indulge in pornography and women can indulge in battery-operated devices, then what can potentially get lost is that human touch and the reality which we call human intimacy which is so much more gratifying for those who are courageous enough to risk becoming involved with another person emotionally as well as physically. Porn is a cop-out. We either crave intimacy to some degree or we don't.

 

I think single guys would find an outlet in porn, but it is a dangerous game you play once you are married. It is addicting and takes away from the intimacy you share with your spouse. She is allowed to be tired sometimes, sick or over-worked. Afterall, she is REAL. Men would have a heart attack if the tables were turned. FOR SURE!!! Of course, I can already hear the rebuttals to that....but, it's easy to say you wouldn't mind your wife watching porn, but like, that's not gonna happen so you don't really have to worry about it, do you??? Women were never taught to feel good about objectifying men. Lucky for men.

[Sheba]

Jolene, though I don't agree with every thought you have expressed, on the whole I think your thesis is very sound, and your post is wonderfully well written and interesting. Thank you! If you do not write for a living, you should.

[luvstarved]

Yes, Jolene, very well put. There is a huge difference between the porn available today vs pre-Internet and it is creating a new and legitimate category of addiction. And it is affecting marriages in a bad bad way.

 

I had a problem with my H and porn. He didn't even look at it THAT much but enough to render me superfluous to his sexual life. I won't lie and try to sound more secure than I am...I have always disliked it when my SOs have looked at porn...and in fact never dated anyone for long who had what I deemed an "excessive interest" in it. They are free to indulge, but it is like any other aspect of a person that might make them less attractive to you as a mate. I was able to accept it as an occasional diversion but never as a regular habit and certainly not as an active hobby and forget about obsession!!

 

I have looked at porn on the internet. I have become aroused by it, but not had the compulsion to go back for more. Of course, I am not a guy. But in the past it took some effort and exposure to "enjoy" porn. You had to go out somewhere and potentially be seen obtaining it, and then live with the continued risk of having your materials physically discovered.

 

Now, you go on anonymously, and for absolutely free, see hard core videos. Of course, most of it is subscription but there is plenty of "free sample" material. So much, in fact, that I would argue that anyone who has become so familiar and bored with the freebies that they need to start paying by definition has a problem.

 

It really has made me wonder about the male human animal if this really is becoming the rapidly increasing problem it seems to be. I am not privy to others' situations but it certainly happened in my marriage.

 

At some level, I can understand it. Pressure free, whatever you like sex from gorgeous "people" who live to please you and expect nothing in return. What's not to like?

 

As Jolene pointed out, you either crave true intimacy or you don't. It is very disheartening to imagine that so many men don't.

 

You know, if my husband used porn occasionally to jerk off because I was unavailable for some reason, or just as another form of occasional variety, or ESPECIALLY If he used it to get hot and then come use the inspiration with me, I could certainly accept that, if not really "admire" it.

 

In our relationship, I never outright asked him to quit looking at it, although he did. But I did take exception to the fact that he was doing it and denying doing it and denying me a marital sex life by doing it. Our sex life has returned and very gradually getting better, but I absolutely think that if I had not pressed the issue, he would have been content, if not happier, to continue on the porn and masturbation path.

 

He never asked my real opinion on the matter of porn and never listened when I tried to tell him. He simply assumed that as a woman I would consider it cheating and would get very angry about it. He alternately expressed that he thought porn was awful and harmless, that it was a mild curiosity and a compulsion, that I had no right to tell him he shouldn't look at it and every right to tell him, that he was and wasn't looking at it, that he sought it out and that it assaulted him unwillingly by spontaneously appearing on the screen. So he is more conflicted about it than I am even.

 

I would be curious to know from men whether they really feel any conflict about porn or whether any seeming guilt/pleasure conflict about it is only based on their perception of what women think about it.

[Citizen Erased]

Every single man I have dated when the relationship first started denies they look at porn. Every male friend denies looking at porn. Until they realize I in fact watch it as well and have no problem with my man looking at it. Then the mountains of magazines, DVD's etc come out from underneath the bed, behind the tv unit etc.

 

I would have to say the number one problem is that men are not forthcoming with their porn use. They will say from day one they dont look at it, it's disgusting etc. Then when their girlfriend/wife finds out they actually do, then the thoughts come along that if they had to hide it, then their man must be choosing it above their relationship. Insecurities then arise and its all downhill from there.

 

Fact is that some women, for perhaps religious, social, personal reasons do not like porn. If the woman herself does not enjoy looking at porn then it is a sexual part of the relationship they cant touch and so they feel like they are being cheated on. And having their partner go behind their back when he has most probably promised to not look at it again just drives the insecurities home.

 

MEN: if you do not intend to stop looking at porn then you need to grow some balls and fess up. There is absolutely no excuse to lie to your partner. "She was nagging so I said okay just to shut her up". Cut the macho bull and be a man. constantly lying to them will only drag out the end result.

[Shan2k]

So funny. In all this talk about porn and how some women are offended by it and yet others numbed to its place in their relationships (or not), nobody has pointed out the obviousness of the fact that it has never been so prevalent as in the last few decades with home movies, dvds and the internet and is now on the list of possible things to be addicted to. It is so readily available today that boys grow up thinking it really is an acceptable substitute for the REAL THING....until way down the road they meet someone they care for. Then they might realize it's not realistic to objectify a woman in such a way. Hence the dilemma...it is very hard to unlearn the very pattern by which you became accustomed to learning. For so many years, a young man will equate the sensation of having an orgasm with what he is visualizing in a porno or in a magazine. Way before he even experiences the real thing for the first time. I might (might) accept the rebuttal that it is ingrained behaviour since it is encouraged as a learning mechanism to start with as a matter of curiosity and immaturity.

 

What did men do in decades past???? They spent more time with their families and less time jerking off I'm guessing. I've read about women who basically don't interact much with their husbands anymore because he is in the computer room all night every night, locks the door and will not associate with the rest of the family. It can get that bad!!!

 

The presence of pornography in our society is not only hovering at our fingertips, but it is addicting for men who "get off" on seeing women as objects of use and/or abuse, and it is a tool that can become a huge interference in a marital relationship, especially if the dude starts getting into hard core. So yeah, of course it will remain a hidden item of the household, cause what man wants to admit to his wife/gf that he's addicted and getting hard core.

 

If a husband finally admits to wanting pornography out in the open, is he looking for acceptance, "spicing up" his life, or basically substituting it for the intimacy he would otherwise be reserving for his loving and hard-working spouse. That is the basis of commitment in a sexual relationship...to say that you have the strength and ability to control yourself and reserve that hottt sexual energy for the one you love the most.

 

I think men realize that their mates have worked hard to gain respect in their lives and relationships. It doesn't seem fair that at the end of the day, men cannot seem to control what they call "primal" urges, since we are no longer cavemen and cavewomen. I am tired of hearing this rebuttal. It is an excuse to be weak-minded.

 

Women have just as much sexual energy, only they were never taught that it is okay to unleash it. Let's face it...women are a bit more guarded from the possibility of pregnancy and abandonment or both. Only "dirty" girls like or provoke it, and what parent wants a teenage daughter to get pregnant, right. Men can objectify a woman and walk away. Is it "primal" that women cannot? I don't think so. We just get pregnant, and by that time, the dude is long gone...nothing to objectify there. Very simple story.

 

If young girls were encouraged the same way that young boys are encouraged to masturbate and indulge themselves, then perhaps the scales would be more balanced, and we wouldn't have to hear canned rebuttals about how men are primal and women have low libido, and then women might feel that not only can they be independent, take the pill and get a job, but they can also have guilt-free and multiple orgasms with or without a man.

 

So if men can indulge in pornography and women can indulge in battery-operated devices, then what can potentially get lost is that human touch and the reality which we call human intimacy which is so much more gratifying for those who are courageous enough to risk becoming involved with another person emotionally as well as physically. Porn is a cop-out. We either crave intimacy to some degree or we don't.

 

I think single guys would find an outlet in porn, but it is a dangerous game you play once you are married. It is addicting and takes away from the intimacy you share with your spouse. She is allowed to be tired sometimes, sick or over-worked. Afterall, she is REAL. Men would have a heart attack if the tables were turned. FOR SURE!!! Of course, I can already hear the rebuttals to that....but, it's easy to say you wouldn't mind your wife watching porn, but like, that's not gonna happen so you don't really have to worry about it, do you??? Women were never taught to feel good about objectifying men. Lucky for men.

 

I understand a good deal of what you’re saying, but some of the rest sounds like StayClose number 3…….

 

Originally Posted by StayClose

3) The woman tries to control her husband through withholding sexual attention, and porn undermines her ability to do this.

Like I said, if the reasons are not interfering with his priorities, denying you quality time & intimacy, or if it’s against your religions, why is it a problem?

 

You said, “What did men do in decades past????” What were women wearing decades past???? Nowadays, mini skirts and tops that show cleavage have been conditioned in this society as normal. The expression of sex and sexuality has been abundantly more accepted than decades ago.

 

This is not an excuse for men to be weak-minded. The fantasies men see in adult films want to be carried out just like the fantasies you women have about romance-in which you’ve cultivated from television and novels. Women are using the excuse of being told not to express their sexuality when they were young, now as adults, to withhold sex. If you’re in a relationship with the man of your dreams, free yourself of sexual restraints! If your boyfriend/husband wants you to spice up the sex, like you want him to spice up the romance, do it! It’s your job to keep things new in the relationship too. Furthermore, if a good percentage in men didn’t see women as a sexual object, none of us would be here today. Men need to be AROUSED to give reproductive cells; women don’t. Your great personality alone is not going to get a man erect.

 

If he’s yearning for intimacy and you deny him, he has every right to masturbate, whether it’s to porn or to his own imagination. Why do men always have to wait until his gf/wife is good and ready? Men are not denying women that same privilege. When my GF denies me of sex for a substantial period of time, I may watch pornography to make up for that negligence. It’s really ridiculous and a double-standard issue because when women are denied sex, it’s unsound. And if you’re worried about getting pregnant, use a condom or contraceptives.

 

Also ladies, the majority of men who want relationships are fooling you when saying, “Sex is not a major part of wanting to have a relationship”. It is! That’s one of the things men look forward too.

 

About libido, all women don’t have low libido by choice. There are various things to blame for low libido in women;

 

1) The “working women” . Women who constantly work are less “in the mood” to have sex because of job stresses and exhaustion.

 

2) Processed foods, and pharmaceutical products. Your diet and consumption of man made medicines cause server deficiency and imbalances in the body, which causes low sex drive.

 

Yes, viewing pornography is considered cheating and a sin, but denying your spouse intimacy is considered a sin as well. If you believe in marriage, which is religion created, then you should know in the Bible it says you are not to deny your spouse of sexual intercourse for it’s a sin. Maybe he’ll stop watching porn if you give him more sex, dress sexy, and fulfill his sexual fantasies. If not, you’re copping out.

 

On the contrary, if a woman gives her bf/husband, an abundant amount of sex, dresses sexy, and fulfills his sexual fantasies, yet he still watches porn “like mad”, he is 100% wrong and needs help.

[StayClose]

What did men do in decades past???? They spent more time with their families and less time jerking off I'm guessing.

 

From reading history not sanitized for school children, it appears that prostitution & bordellos were much more widespread than they are today.

 

So before Internet porn and Playboy Magazine, there were a lot more prostitutes to meet the needs of men with no spouses or spouses who lose their libidos.

[Shan2k]

Furthermore, If you're not going to give me any intimacy, I am going to revert back to the way I use to stimulate myself before you entered my life. Why should have twice as much restraint now because you're in it.

 

 

Part of me wanting to have a relationship was for you to help me release some of this restraint. LOL!

[SunnySideUp]

If he’s yearning for intimacy and you deny him, he has every right to masturbate, whether it’s to porn or to his own imagination. Why do men always have to wait until his gf/wife is good and ready? Men are not denying women that same privilege. When my GF denies me of sex for a substantial period of time, I may watch pornography to make up for that negligence. It’s really ridiculous and a double-standard issue because when women are denied sex, it’s unsound. And if you’re worried about getting pregnant, use a condom or contraceptives.

....

Yes, viewing pornography is considered cheating and a sin, but denying your spouse intimacy is considered a sin as well. If you believe in marriage, which is religion created, then you should know in the Bible it says you are not to deny your spouse of sexual intercourse for it’s a sin. Maybe he’ll stop watching porn if you give him more sex, dress sexy, and fulfill his sexual fantasies. If not, you’re copping out.

 

On the contrary, if a woman gives her bf/husband, an abundant amount of sex, dresses sexy, and fulfills his sexual fantasies, yet he still watches porn “like mad”, he is 100% wrong and needs help.

 

I've constantly tried to spice things up, am ready for sex whenever my husband is, try to initiate relatively often, and get denied often. I dress up, buy lingerie, try all different things, try to please him and I still get denied often. At the same time, he is self-proclaimed obsessed with sex, has an active imagination about other women, and watches porn almost every day. What could possibly be wrong with me that he still denies me sex, when it seems like he constantly wants it?? Does this sound wrong to you??

[Shan2k]

I've constantly tried to spice things up, am ready for sex whenever my husband is, try to initiate relatively often, and get denied often. I dress up, buy lingerie, try all different things, try to please him and I still get denied often. At the same time, he is self-proclaimed obsessed with sex, has an active imagination about other women, and watches porn almost every day. What could possibly be wrong with me that he still denies me sex, when it seems like he constantly wants it?? Does this sound wrong to you??

 

Slow down? You got too impetuous! Did you read it all I said?

 

Originally Posted by Shan2k

On the contrary, if a woman gives her bf/husband, an abundant amount of sex, dresses sexy, and fulfills his sexual fantasies, yet he still watches porn “like mad”, he is 100% wrong and needs help.

[Jolene]

Nowadays, mini skirts and tops that show cleavage have been conditioned in this society as normal. The expression of sex and sexuality has been abundantly more accepted than decades ago.

 

 

You mean....

 

"Nowadays it is normal for women and men alike to see women as objects and this has heightened men's desire and awareness that it will be acceptable to exercise a lack of self-control on the issue of human sexuality."

 

Speaking from experience, I can assure you that sex on this primal and very shallow level is instantly self-gratifying for sure, but in an intimate and committed relationship based on trust and love (unselfishly), sex is a much more enjoyable experience for both parties. So when a husband defiantly (or not) indulges himself despite his wife's best efforts, it is merely a selfish act which takes away from an otherwise mutually more satisfying experience.

 

Unless, of course you have been dishonest about your lack of needs for intimacy.

[StayClose]

This thread is a good example of using a message board as a serrogate for arguing with their spouse.

 

poster1: You never have sex with me, so I use porn!

poster2: I have sex with you whenever you want, which is almost never becaue you'd rather use porn!

 

Lesson: Keep in mind that everyone's situation is different. Don't take out your personal frustrations on people on this board, because even though they may be similar in some ways to your spouse, they are not your spouse.

[Shan2k]

This thread is a good example of using a message board as a serrogate for arguing with their spouse.

 

poster1: You never have sex with me, so I use porn!

poster2: I have sex with you whenever you want, which is almost never becaue you'd rather use porn!

 

Lesson: Keep in mind that everyone's situation is different. Don't take out your personal frustrations on people on this board, because even though they may be similar in some ways to your spouse, they are not your spouse.

 

 

LOL! True!

[Shan2k]

You mean....

 

"Nowadays it is normal for women and men alike to see women as objects and this has heightened men's desire and awareness that it will be acceptable to exercise a lack of self-control on the issue of human sexuality."

 

Speaking from experience, I can assure you that sex on this primal and very shallow level is instantly self-gratifying for sure, but in an intimate and committed relationship based on trust and love (unselfishly), sex is a much more enjoyable experience for both parties. So when a husband defiantly (or not) indulges himself despite his wife's best efforts, it is merely a selfish act which takes away from an otherwise mutually more satisfying experience.

 

Unless, of course you have been dishonest about your lack of needs for intimacy.

 

 

Well if you run around half dressed, don't think a guys isn't going to think anything sexual. It's not our fault that women have subconsciously and self-consciously become submissive to a man's visual pleasures. Oh! but wait!! You call that Independence and empowerment! LOL!

 

Hey, this is the way nature made us men. If not, you or I wouldn't be here. Let's see you stop every man from staring at cleavage and skirt that go as far up as butt cheeks. Can you????? Women will never stop a man from looking! He's looking when you think he isn't. Provocativeness attracts attention. So don't get mad if a man looks at you like a COMPLETE sex object if your dressing like it. Sexy is sex! Duh!

 

Sex is better when you're in love. What does that got to do with anything! I would be in love if you tried to please me more in the bedroom (Speaking in general. I'm not too much having that problem anymore. So this is not personal). Furthermore, if a good percentage in men didn’t see women as a sexual object, none of us would be here today. Men need to be AROUSED to give reproductive cells; women don’t. Your great personality alone is not going to get a man erect.

 

If you're not satisfying your man's sexual desires that's your fault not his.

 

On the contrary, if a woman gives her bf/husband, an abundant amount of sex, dresses sexy, and fulfills his sexual fantasies, yet he still watches porn “like mad”, he is 100% wrong and needs help.

[polywog]

I was too lazy to read this entire thread, so if I'm repeating some point someone else has already made, forgive me.

 

I would only be really truly upset of my man's porn viewing interfered with our real-life sex life. I would surely have twinges of jealousy, but I take that in stride, and would hope I'd never really find out about it. The idea that it can happen, that a man has his secret life, is sort of a spice for me, but he has to expect the same from me. I am self-confident (mostly!) in my looks and sexual ability to please. I also have a rich fantasy life, including porn, that I keep secret from my lover(s), and I like that, and would not want to share it. I like that individuals have fantasy sexual secrets, as long as they don't destroy a relationship (for me an SO's affair with a real woman would screw it up, but not porno).

 

I hate the idea of being a thought police, or a fantasy police. But, to reiterate the "don't ask don't tell" aspect of this, I like a man that is a little unruly, and if it includes porno, well, OK... as long as he doesn't freak out that I'm like that, too.

[IpAncA]

I don't know but did anyone mention lusting over someone else other than their SO?

 

I've heard that one a few times.

[polywog]

I don't know but did anyone mention lusting over someone else other than their SO?

 

I've heard that one a few times.

 

Well, do you mean lusting after a tangible, real person, or lusting after an actor/actress in a porno movie (meaning, the person that was created by the movie industry)?

 

If a person is obsessed with a "porno star", then they might as well be obsessed with the tooth fairy. They might look fine, but they're lit well, have their hair done, and loads of make-up, and possibly body doubles (esp the men in the cum shots) and playing a role.... unlike us real people!