avoj Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I need help. A lot of it. This has been going on for over a year. I honestly fell for my friend. We had sex 4 times a year ago. She moved in to my house due to financial difficulty and is still living here. She didn't have the same feelings for me. Now she is dating someone 10 years older than her. We used to be close. Now we do nothing together. I am so jealous. She is with her new person all of the time. Please help. I feel like I was ditched for this person. I ask her to do something with me and she gives me these excuses, but then goes on long weekends with her new rich lover who is taking her to europe I feel crazy. I feel jealousy like you would not believe. I feel resentment and anger. Yet I am so in love with her still and cannot move on. She's made me feel so unlovable and unwanted. I don't think I am ugly, but why can't I get a date, but I want her. Geez. Seriously to feel this way for someone is something I have never felt. I'm 33. Been in one longterm relationship and now hurt again Has anyone been in this type of scenario? Has anyone had a friend like them and you didn't like them back, but later changed your mind? See I have hope and that's not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 I haven't been in that type of scenario, but if she has a new "rich" lover, and her residing with you is causing you grief, maybe you should have a frank discussion with her that you are now uncomfortable with the living arrangements and would like her to make some new ones (maybe rich guy can put up some dough for a place for her...). You don't have to divulge your other feelings for her if you don't want, but it sounds like it's time for her to go. Link to post Share on other sites
JD88 Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 I agree. The first step in moving on and beginning to forget about her is for her to move out. With her constantly around, your heart has no time to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
jlj Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 well, this post will be a little different than the last one, I do agree that you do need to move on if this dont work, I am 31 female, and im telling you to do this to a girl. go on a date, with a georgous girl, make sure the one you love sees her. and act like you are haveing a blast. why am i telling you this? sometimes you have to play the game, even though I hate the game, I think the game sucks, but she knows you are there, and she knows you wont go out with nobody, you are not a challenge, and im sorry girls want a challenge, go get the book dateing for idiots, no joke, my boyfriend now, read that book, and has pulled all the tricks in it, and it worked we have been together 5 months. Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Stay away from girls that play the game because they're immature. They like drama and all that crap and who wants to come home after work and deal with that? I don't. So, go find yourself some smart, mature girl that loves you as much as you love her without playing any games. Girls that play these games have nothing better to do with their time. They have no life of their own and outside of their b/f. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I need help. A lot of it. This has been going on for over a year. I honestly fell for my friend. We had sex 4 times a year ago. She moved in to my house due to financial difficulty and is still living here. She didn't have the same feelings for me. Now she is dating someone 10 years older than her. We used to be close. Now we do nothing together. I am so jealous. She is with her new person all of the time. Please help. I feel like I was ditched for this person. I ask her to do something with me and she gives me these excuses, but then goes on long weekends with her new rich lover who is taking her to europe I feel crazy. I feel jealousy like you would not believe. I feel resentment and anger. Yet I am so in love with her still and cannot move on. She's made me feel so unlovable and unwanted. I don't think I am ugly, but why can't I get a date, but I want her. Geez. Seriously to feel this way for someone is something I have never felt. I'm 33. Been in one longterm relationship and now hurt again Has anyone been in this type of scenario? Has anyone had a friend like them and you didn't like them back, but later changed your mind? See I have hope and that's not good. You need to cut this gal loose. There is NO future there with her. Tell her she needs to be out of your place within 30 days as you can't handle what's happening now. She's a rotten user and you've known this all along...just didn't want to admit it to yourself. I'm sure you're mad as hell because she hasn't responded differently considering all you've done for her...but she was not obligated to and you were wrong for thinking she might. This gal clearly knew how you felt about her yet she has remained in your place and taken up with another guy....ignoring the hell out of you. Yep, it's happened many times...and mostly to nice guys like you. The next time a lady friend of yours is having financial problems and needs a place to stay, drop her off at the welfare office. Don't have these people staying at your place. It's really unfair to expect anything out of that anyway. But, for sure, get her out of your life. She has no manners and no class. The least she could have done is been discrete about all this...again, she knows how you feel...you can bet on that. Link to post Share on other sites
huh Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I agree, you need to get her out of your house so you can move on. I know it hurts now, but in the long run, you'll be better off without her. She sounds like a user, does she even kick in for expenses? You deserve better than that. As for the self-confidence issues, is there anything in particular that makes you feel bad about yourself? If it's something you can work on (for example, in my case, I'm working on weight) work on it. Or try to accept it if it's something you can't change. And get out there and meet other women. There's someone out there who will treat you better and appreciate you. You just need to get out there & find her. And it's hard to do that when you're still wrapped up in this other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Has anyone been in this type of scenario? I wouldn't permit it on my nickel. As soon as I realized I was being conveniently used her butt, with the rest of her attached, would be out the door. I'd give her two week's notice to find other living arrangements and I WOULDN'T fall for any "renewed interest" on her part because I would believe it was just an act to keep a roof over her head. Betcha Mr. Rich 10 Years Older Lover is married! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I need help. A lot of it. This has been going on for over a year. I honestly fell for my friend. We had sex 4 times a year ago. She moved in to my house due to financial difficulty and is still living here. She didn't have the same feelings for me. Now she is dating someone 10 years older than her. We used to be close. Now we do nothing together. I am so jealous. She is with her new person all of the time. Please help. I feel like I was ditched for this person. I ask her to do something with me and she gives me these excuses, but then goes on long weekends with her new rich lover who is taking her to europe I feel crazy. I feel jealousy like you would not believe. I feel resentment and anger. Yet I am so in love with her still and cannot move on. She's made me feel so unlovable and unwanted. I don't think I am ugly, but why can't I get a date, but I want her. Geez. Seriously to feel this way for someone is something I have never felt. I'm 33. Been in one longterm relationship and now hurt again Has anyone been in this type of scenario? Has anyone had a friend like them and you didn't like them back, but later changed your mind? See I have hope and that's not good. You need to get out of there... either you or her... you can't continue to live under the same roof...it's that simple. There is absolutely nothing you can do... it will only drive you crazier if you have that in your face all the time. She will definitely not changed her mind... time to move on... and to move out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 She will definitely not changed her mind... time to move on... and to move out of there. It's his house! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 It's his house! Well, then he should move out of his house. Anything to get away from this shmoozer! Ok, I was kidding...sheesh, I agree with everyone else. Get her out! What are you waiting for? It's so obvious that she's a woman of very low character. Link to post Share on other sites
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