Why do people cheat, old topic, new thread.

[EDDO]

Hello Everyone, I am new to LS and I am sure this question has been asked and talked about a million times but I am going to ask it again anyway.

 

If 2 people are in a relationship and all is going well overall. They make plans for the future, they have fun together, the love making the best it has ever been for the cheater, communication is good, everything like I said is going good, WHY would they take a chance to ruin it all and lose that person they say they love?

 

I know men and women usually cheat for different reasons. I believe for men it is more physical usually but would a woman if everything is good in the relationsip?

 

I am trying to understand this so I am looking for some actually possibilities, not just name calling. Any thoughts? Thanks

[norajane]

There's no one answer that's going to tell you why people cheat. Some people just can't help themselves from f*cking things up when they're going well - they have issues that have nothing to do with the relationship.

[EDDO]

Thanks Norajane.

[2sunny]

i would say at times it serves as a boost to the ego

 

character flaw perhaps?

 

for the challenge?

 

and sometimes certain people will never be happy - no matter what - even if things are perfect

[bish]

Why do people cheat? Because they are selfish individuals not deserving of a committed relationship. Plain and simple.

[beautifuldisaster]

Are you sure she's as happy as she seems? Sometimes a girl will cheat as a way to make herself happy without disrupting her whole life.

[EDDO]

Thanks Everyone. I still dont understand it as I would never. If I was that unhappy, which I know she was far from, I still wouldnt until it was over 100%

[Javelin]

Anyway you put it, cheating comes down to one term: Selfishiness.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfishness

[PositiveShine]

Well said, Jav. This is your SO's need for more and more attention. This person loves being in the spotlight, and unless you can be 10 different guys paying attention to her, there's nothing you can do. This is her immaturity (sadly enough) and insecurity by showing that there are "issues" (hate to use that word) in the category of being happy with one person's attention, instead of constantly vying for everyone's all of the time.

[aklay]

Cheating....There are many reasons. In Long distance i feel it's the absence of your partner's presence. No matter how much you talk on the phone or IM eachother or text eachother, that presence cannot be simulated. Peoples in LDR's need physical attention, unless you're an extremely contained person, it's hard to live without it =\

 

Cheating among people who aren't in LDR's is a whole different story.

[Vertex]

It's like asking why anyone has a preference or inclination for something. If I ask you why you like, say, steak, I am sure many people would have different answers. However, all cheaters tend to be very selfish individuals. They think only about themselves -- the partner's feelings and respect aren't put on high priority.

 

Sometimes people are afraid of the relationship and don't know how to leave, and need an out. Others want to supplement something missing in their current relationship. Others like the challenge. Others want the attention. Others do it for status, or for hedonistic/happiness purposes. In many cases, they are emotionally immature and don't know how to communicate well with their partner.

 

There's no one answer to the reason why people cheat, but in my opinion, it's something no one should ever do.

[Trialbyfire]

Regardless of reasons for people to cheat, at the end of the day it doesn't matter unless you're hell bent on fixing the relationship. It's an action the cheating partner undertook, of which they must be responsible for. If the relationship is destroyed based on this action, it's their cross to bear. Same goes with fixing the collateral damage. If they can't fix the "trust broken" issue, the rest is 100% moot.

 

Sorry but I have a zero tolerance policy for cheaters. Whatever their needs are, they are their needs. Discuss your needs and if your partner cannot or will not meet them, walk. It's that simple.

[EDDO]

Once again, thank you for all you're responces. I really do appreciate it.

[shadowofman]

Simply,................cheaters want to have sex with someone, new or old, but there partners won't let them. They are confident that they will get away with it. Men are more likely to indulge in the opportunistic risk.

The history of human (and pre-human) sexuality shows that we are in transition. It starts with a population that was 100% equal-opportunity promiscuous (maybe even feminist empowered like the bonobo). There was little sexual dimorphism (the differences in size and shape between males and females). Our species has slowly changed to a male dominated culture (as evident in the slightly higher degree of sexual dimorphism in modern humans). Modern human cultures have ranged from harem to monogamous. Male dominated, female dominated (even polygamous), or gender equal (my favorite). I believe that the ability to lie is the foundation of what makes us human. It is something that we share with our closest relatives, the great apes. It is for this reason that I believe that "cheating" is so inherant in our genes, that most people can't help themselves. It's as powerful as the sex drive itself. I'm not suggesting that that makes it ok. IT'S NOT! It's just an inconvienient truth!