How important is confidence and a good personality?

[CaliGuy]

Drake, I get the same feeling. I guess I thought people came to ask questions and solicit different opinions, but the vibe I got here was that CG came in with the answer already, agreed heartily with those who agreed with him, and not with those who didn't. So the only remaining agenda for his post seems to be to promote himself as having better values than most people. It could well be true. I just don't think he should be tooting his own horn quite so loudly.

 

DIA2M - Did it ever occur to you that I didn't start this thread to "argue" a point? I started it to give a real world example of something I have experienced many times in real life.

 

Drop Dead Legs: Being the "girl you'd marry" over the "girl you'd date" is probably one of the best compliments you can ever get.

[2sunny]

i never can understand why you all think it is okay to rip CG to shreds whenever he has a view on things... we are all entitled to our own opinions... why the criticism?

 

sheeeeez!

[CaliGuy]

I guess for me, personality isn't just about confidence; there needs to be humility as well. Maybe it's my cultural upbringing but I almost value it more than confidence. Then of course there's wit. I've met plenty of confident people who were lacking in humor, a bit too intense. If anything, I guess I like self-effacing humor so I don't find many confident people funny?

 

Humility is a very sexy attribute as is a sense of humor.

[CaliGuy]

DDL, no, I haven't read his other posts, I don't think, other than SoCal meetup.

 

He may hold these values and practice them, I'm not saying he doesn't, he just seems a bit too superhuman in that he gives this vibe like he's never sucked in by something that lacks substance or isn't what it seems, like he's correct in judging people always, never makes mistakes, and is always in control.

 

My main point was, what is the point of this thread? As far as I can tell it's for CG to tell us (loudly) that he's a good guy for having good values and for us to applaud him for his wisdom.

 

Then you have totally misunderstood the point of this thread.

 

It has NOTHING to do with me. I pointed out that in the case of these two women at work, the one who exudes confidence, self-assuredness, kindness (and yes, she has a sense of humor too) is not the prettiest of the two women, but is the one that for many men here at work is the most attractive.

 

How this got twisted into a thread about my own personality - well - I am still scratching my head on that one.

 

The thing is, I agree with his message, for the most part. The delivery is just a bit too, what, self-helpy and self-congratulatory for me. Have you guys ever heard of The Secret? He reminds me of motivational programs/speakers like those. There are definitely a lot of people who like that stuff; it just isn't my cup of tea. I guess I find people more credible when they consider POVs different from their own and don't claim to know everything. I feel like CG feels like he knows everything and is trying to reprogram us. I fully expect he'll have written a book in a year or two!

 

I concede I did ask him for advice and that I did like his suggestion, even if the wording was somewhat overbearing. I guess that is what troubles me, his tone (and possible agenda), not what he's saying.

 

How on earth can you tell, with any certainty, what my tone is from a piece of text?

 

You're making a lot of assumptions about both the motivation of this thread and my own personality. None of which are accurate but entertaining none-the-less.

 

Cheers!

[CaliGuy]

Well it seems like CG is a standup guy and I apologize for questioning his motives. I guess his point in starting this thread was to spread his positive message.

 

I just feel it discounts mother nature almost entirely. People aren't attracted to good looks just because; they are outward signs of (presumed) fecundity, and we are all still animals and are here to continue the species, even if we don't want to as individuals. Genetics do factor into destiny, even where things like cancer and diabetes are concerned, possibly even sexual orientation and musical/artistic talent.

 

It's true that positive thinking/confidence will get you further than focusing on what you don't have. I don't think anyone can really argue with the core of CG's message. It just doesn't seem as absolute to me as it does to him.

 

Not arguing that looks do not play a part. In fact, I've never said that. What I said is that personality and confidence can and often does TRUMP looks.

 

I appreciate your kind words here but please, please stop putting words in my mouth. A lot of what you have said about me are what you "think" *I* think and are not comments that I have not made personally. (Nor are they my viewpoint).

 

Cheers!

[CaliGuy]

i never can understand why you all think it is okay to rip CG to shreds whenever he has a view on things... we are all entitled to our own opinions... why the criticism?

 

sheeeeez!

 

Have you ever noticed a trend here at LS? It doesn't just happen to me but many others.

 

Someone will post a thread about a personal experience and quite quickly the thread will go off topic and it will end up with a bunch of people attacking the OP instead of focusing in on the topic.

 

I'm wondering if this is just a LS trend or perhaps a trend across message boards in general.

[doiask42much]

CG, I would say it's across message boards in general. People like to debate, even argue. It's very hard to make your point without bringing your own biases and emotions into the fray. I did and I apologize.

 

I just find that your experiences don't match my own. Anytime anyone ever did anything kind for me it was usually because of how I look. My family is not kind to me because they don't care how I look. I've developed what might be considered an "ugly" personality because of it and been enabled by men to continue behaving as I did because they were attracted to me.

 

I was an ugly duckling and when I was one, everyone, male and female, was either unkind to me or ignored me totally.

 

I know this is probably going to sound pretty funny but I had a meltdown the other day at a payphone. I was bashing the receiver against the callbox with all my might, screaming "F*ck, you f*cking piece of sh*t!" over and over because it had eaten my money and refused to work and I had no cell phone and was locked out and had on shoes that made it hard to walk to find another phone. A man pulled over and let me use his cell phone, in spite of my ugly display. He even starting writing down directions for me as my bf gave them to me over the phone, since I didn't have a pen or paper. I was behaving like a total psycho, but both he and my bf tolerated my behavior and were even helpful and kind. Maybe there is something else that is magnetic about me? I don't know what it could be. Maybe I just run into a disproportionate share of good samaritans? Or exude an air of helplessness? I certainly wouldn't have offered help to some crazy b*tch bashing a phone about.

[CaliGuy]

CG, I would say it's across message boards in general. People like to debate, even argue. It's very hard to make your point without bringing your own biases and emotions into the fray. I did and I apologize.

 

Debate the topic, I agree, all you want. What I would like to avoid is making assumptions on the person starting the topic or turning it into a personal attack. That's what I hope we can avoid here on LS, not just this topic.

 

I just find that your experiences don't match my own.

 

That's perfectly fine! I agree that not everyone will have the same experiences in life. It's what makes us a diverse society.

 

Anytime anyone ever did anything kind for me it was usually because of how I look. My family is not kind to me because they don't care how I look. I've developed what might be considered an "ugly" personality because of it and been enabled by men to continue behaving as I did because they were attracted to me.

 

If you want my advice it would be to distance yourself from those who base their acceptace or approval of you based on your looks and not WHO you are. Including your family.

 

I was an ugly duckling and when I was one, everyone, male and female, was either unkind to me or ignored me totally.

 

Do you need their approval to be happy with who you are?

 

I know this is probably going to sound pretty funny but I had a meltdown the other day at a payphone. I was bashing the receiver against the callbox with all my might, screaming "F*ck, you f*cking piece of sh*t!" over and over because it had eaten my money and refused to work and I had no cell phone and was locked out and had on shoes that made it hard to walk to find another phone. A man pulled over and let me use his cell phone, in spite of my ugly display. He even starting writing down directions for me as my bf gave them to me over the phone, since I didn't have a pen or paper. I was behaving like a total psycho, but both he and my bf tolerated my behavior and were even helpful and kind. Maybe there is something else that is magnetic about me? I don't know what it could be. Maybe I just run into a disproportionate share of good samaritans? Or exude an air of helplessness? I certainly wouldn't have offered help to some crazy b*tch bashing a phone about.

 

I think you just found a group of caring individuals. They're out there, regardless of how you look. We all have meltdowns from time to time. You're allowed

[2sunny]

Have you ever noticed a trend here at LS? It doesn't just happen to me but many others.

 

Someone will post a thread about a personal experience and quite quickly the thread will go off topic and it will end up with a bunch of people attacking the OP instead of focusing in on the topic.

 

I'm wondering if this is just a LS trend or perhaps a trend across message boards in general.

 

this is exactly why i don't tend to start threads - myself - that reveal alot of my own personal info.

 

i will - however - give input and humor on threads that i find interesting.

 

i tend to be an open book with those that are close to me - but i still hold my cards close and am very guarded with folks in general. it tends to work well for me - as i live in a small community for the past 40 years and everyone knows my family - people always want to know more about us because we are a well know BIG family. we tend not to tell too much - except for the fortunate friends we spend time with...

 

if they are asking questions - it makes me be quiet in a heartbeat! that is NOT my style when i am comfortable.

 

i tend not to start threads on my sorrid marriage breakup - because it just makes me sad... i have my own ways of moving forward - but the hermit thing doesn't seem to be working too well...

 

it's too hard to go out though - because everyone seems to want to ask me a million questions about what happened... and - as much as i should want to - i will not stoop to the level of talking trash about my xH and my marriage.

 

god - i hate gossip!....

[beautifulearth83]

i like pizza.

[doiask42much]

But do you like it because of how it looks or how good it is for you? Heh.

[beautifulearth83]

But do you like it because of how it looks or how good it is for you? Heh.

 

I like it for being it's layered, cheezy self...

[2sunny]

wtf?

 

what does pizza have to do with anything on this thread?

 

go to the water cooler section... or at least talk about baseball or something significant...

[johan]

You all are right, CaliGuy does take a lot of crap. I think people would understand him better if he would just get his whole philosophy down in one post. Maybe in the form a guide or something like that. It seems like we could use one of those around here.

[Star Gazer]

I think CaliGuy rocks, even if he mocks my boobs.

[CaliGuy]

I think CaliGuy rocks, even if he mocks my boobs.

 

Haven't seen them so how could I possibly mock 'em?

 

I think you rock too, in a NORCAL kind of way

 

(It's still better down here!)

[Star Gazer]

I think you rock too, in a NORCAL kind of way

Thanks !!

 

(It's still better down here!)

 

Nuh uh!!

[CaliGuy]

Thanks !!

 

 

 

Nuh uh!!

 

Let's see. San Diego. Sun, beach, surf

 

OR

 

NORCAL. Rain, cold, rain.

 

I'll take San Diego for 300, Alex!

[Star Gazer]

Let's see. San Diego. Sun, beach, surf

 

OR

 

NORCAL. Rain, cold, rain.

 

I'll take San Diego for 300, Alex!

 

You've never been to NorCal, have you?? SacTown is hardly cold, except in February (where it's actually warmer here than in Pacific Beach!). And I've got Tahoe (when it's not burning, anyway) YEAR ROUND only an hour away. I've got wakeboarding on the rivers all summer, snowboarding all winter, one of the best cities in the world an hour in the other direction, Napa 45 minutes away...and a million of other awesome things in between. Neener neener.

 

Besides, my boobs are more unique up here.

[CaliGuy]

You've never been to NorCal, have you??

 

Several times. In 2001 I did a gig in San Fran. Metallica showed up. I got to jam with them on stage for 6 songs. So yeah, that was a great time.

 

But other than that, it was too cold for my blood. That was in Sept. It was freaking 40* in the shade!

 

SacTown is hardly cold, except in February (where it's actually warmer here than in Pacific Beach!). And I've got Tahoe (when it's not burning, anyway) YEAR ROUND only an hour away. I've got wakeboarding on the rivers all summer, snowboarding all winter, one of the best cities in the world an hour in the other direction, Napa 45 minutes away...and a million of other awesome things in between. Neener neener.

 

Tahoe is nice. Went to a wedding on the lake in Oct. I really liked it up there. The skiing must be phenominal.

 

Besides, my boobs are more unique up here.

 

*This thread is worthless without pics*

[Dumbledore]

*This thread is worthless without pics*

You could check out her profile picture. It will give you a general idea of the terrain, but I agree that a nipple is quite informative.

[2sunny]

you guys are making me horny!

[CaliGuy]

you guys are making me horny!

 

(Mission accomplished. Rev 'em up, leave them wanting more.)

 

 

Headed to LAX right now. You kids be good while I am away!

[2sunny]

(Mission accomplished. Rev 'em up, leave them wanting more.)

 

 

Headed to LAX right now. You kids be good while I am away!

 

where are you going CG?

[CaliGuy]

where are you going CG?

 

Well I was supposed to be going to Florida. I show up to the airport 2.5 hours early and check in my bags. I pass security and go up to the gate. I show the lady my boarding pass and she says "That's not a boarding pass, that's a receipt."

 

I say "Umm, I paid for the flight, why don't I have a boarding pass?"

 

She says "We overbooked the flight, you are on stand by."

 

"Uhhh.... WHAT!?! I paid for this flight in mid April. Why am I on standby? I got here extra early to make sure I wouldn't miss the flight."

 

She says "You'll have to wait until the plane is boarded to see if I call your name."

 

Plane is boarded, my name is not called and there are NO other flights with this airline or any other that have available seats tonight. I will have to wait until tomorrow. And even then she says "I can not guarantee you a seat on tomorrow's flight."

 

So, I take my money back, get back in my truck (this whole time my luggage is on a flight to Orlando without me on it and is sitting at the terminal waiting for me to pick it up.) and drive home.

 

Three hours and $300 EXTRA dollars later I am booked on a flight from San Diego at 6am tomorrow. But it's not a direct flight so I won't get there until 4pm and I have a connection in Philidelphia on the way back.

 

Not to mention the rental car agency can't promise they will hold the rental that I've already paid for.

 

Talk about a bad day.