litfish Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 About a year ago I broke up with my lover. I had a really hard time getting past it. Especially since he still calls about once a month. Very recently, however, I have gotten over it enough to get out there and get laid (although I am not really looking for anything serious). Well, I was with a guy the other day, and it was physically the best sex I have ever had. Clearly, he was very experienced. Probably experienced with many experienced women. Anyway, we didn't kiss on the mouth. Something I have always done, even if I didn't want to. But this guy didn't even try. Anyway, I guess, the whole experience has really made me think about a few things. First and most superficial: Was he un-attracted to me or just attempting to avoid intimacy by not kissing me on the mouth? Second, and most importantly: is there something wrong with me that i would find such physical stimulation in an experience that was so utterly devoid of emotional intimacy? And is it possible to find it all in one partner. I mean, this guy was a rock star!!! He played me like a violin....and yet, I found his personality a bit off-putting (he was extremely vain). Have any of you had a similar experience? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 There is nothing with enjoying sex that is just sex, and nothing else. Sex without kissing is just something different, kind of like a new position. His reasons for not kissing could vary. He might be the type that doesn't desire kissing unless he has very strong feelings for her. Or, it was his way of letting you know that this was just sex and he has no interest in going beyond that with you. It was probably quite obvious that you were just out to "get laid", so he may not have thought you wanted more, either. So like you said, yea probably avoiding intimacy but the reasons for that could vary. I'd like to say he had to be attracted to you since he had sex with you, but I've known of guys to have sex with girls they were not very attracted to; they just did it cuz they could. And I know the type you are describing. Chances are, he has already played another violin since you, so move on to the next meaningless act until you are ready to find serious again (nothing wrong with that either). Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 About a year ago I broke up with my lover. I had a really hard time getting past it. Especially since he still calls about once a month. Very recently, however, I have gotten over it enough to get out there and get laid (although I am not really looking for anything serious). Well, I was with a guy the other day, and it was physically the best sex I have ever had. Clearly, he was very experienced. Probably experienced with many experienced women. Anyway, we didn't kiss on the mouth. Something I have always done, even if I didn't want to. But this guy didn't even try. Anyway, I guess, the whole experience has really made me think about a few things. First and most superficial: Was he un-attracted to me or just attempting to avoid intimacy by not kissing me on the mouth? Second, and most importantly: is there something wrong with me that i would find such physical stimulation in an experience that was so utterly devoid of emotional intimacy? And is it possible to find it all in one partner. I mean, this guy was a rock star!!! He played me like a violin....and yet, I found his personality a bit off-putting (he was extremely vain). Have any of you had a similar experience? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex without the bagage... I do that all the time. I don't kiss on the mouth either, well with very few... as weird as it might sound, a kiss for me is very 'intimate' even more than intercourse... I only kiss when I am very attracted to the guy... and it's also to tell the guy that it's only sex, nothing more. See...I think I would be the female counterpart of this guy... LOL Don't fall for him... because he's probably not interested in anything more than sex. and... there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you... enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author litfish Posted June 14, 2007 Author Share Posted June 14, 2007 Thanks for your comments--And yes, I have no intention for falling for THIS guy. I kind of don't even like him very well. I just hope that one day when I fall in love with someone, and have an emotionally fulfilling relationship, that I can have the kind of physical fulfillment that I experienced here. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Also I do think its possible to find it all in one person-- you can mix it up in a relationship, with spontaneous, hard-core SEX and with intimate sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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