Torn!

[eeyore]

A little background – I have been with my significant other for 9 months, cohabited for 5 months. We are in a very openly loving and affectionate relationship. We have talked about marriage and are planning to do so within a year. Everything is going well except for the following issues:

 

I have two concerns - I do have a huge trust issue (have experience infidelity in the past) with him and am unsure whether I am just overreacting. He has omitted crucial information in the past (in regards to him fathering 2 children) during the first few months of us dating. The mother of his children still loves him and consistently pursues him on a daily basis. They both have partial custody and he insists on picking their children up at their old residence. Oftentimes, the exchange would take a few minutes, other times hours. I have been giving him the benefit of the doubt but feel very uncomfortable about this whole ordeal.

 

The second issue is in regards to his relationship with women at work. He is employed in a highly social atmosphere and even though the majority of his co-workers know he is in a committed relationship, his environment is very open to casual sex. I have often seen him “flirting” (my definition of flirting) with his co-workers and his clientele. I admit that he is very openly affectionate to others – hugs, kisses, pats etc. but I still feel a tinge of jealousy and anger when seeing this first hand. I have also seen online conversations of his to his female friends and co-workers. Some of which include the words, “baby doll, smooches, kisses, hey sexy”. Now, I know some men are naturally flirty and affectionate but I am wondering where boundaries should be drawn.

 

He has a prior history of infidelity with the mother of his children and in other relationships as well. I am not certain whether is true – but his ex-girlfriend has openly told me that I should not trust him because he has cheated on her numerous times (he tells me differently).

 

I admit that I have a very hard time trusting men because of past experiences. Am I being overly insecure here?

 

I am determining whether to take the next step with him - relocation and marriage and any advice would be appreciated!

[Tony T]

If you don't trust this guy, and there seems to be absolutely no reason for you to trust him, don't even think about marrying him.

 

My question is why are you even still around him??? You have made your own very excellent case for dumping his butt.

 

He's cheated on every woman he's been with in the past and is probably cheating on you with his ex (mother of his kids) too.

 

Exactly how much information does it take for you to get the drift here??? I'm sorry I can't draw some pictures for you on this message board.

 

So exactly what is so loving about your relationship with him that doesn't exist with all the other relationships that he may be having at the same time? Please tell me you aren't thinking about marrying this guy! Tell me this post was a joke!!!