Calls me everday, but still doesn't want me???

[goodguy123]

Me and my ex have been broken up for about 10 months. She had a new boyfriend for a while but now they are broken up. And she has called me at least once every week or 2 since we broke up, and the past few days she has called everyday, and on one day she was even talking about how she was reading some emails i wrote her a long time ago. But anytime I even bring up anything about our relationship or say I miss her, she gets mad at me and says we are just friends now. Meanwhile, she knows very well that I want to be more than friends and I'm also sure she knows how it affects me when I talk to her.

 

I just don't understand why she still calls yet she doesn't want me. It completely breaks my heart again since it seems like she wants to be with anyone but me, even though I would do anything in the world for her.

 

And I also realize that alot of the reasons we initially broke up are my fault, but I've tried telling her a thousand times I want to change some things, but it doesn't seem to matter.

 

I've never loved anyone as much as her, not even close, and it's so hard for me to let it go, especially when she still calls. I've tried the nc, but it doesn't work for me, because I still miss her. How can I still miss her so bad after this long?

 

I just don't know what to do. I can't tell her to stop calling because I miss her too much, and I just don't think I could even say the words to her. Plus every time she starts calling frequently I start thinking maybe she'll come back.

 

But does anyone have a clue why she would call me all the time, and at the same time seem to avoid hanging out with me all the time ( with a few exceptions). She knows how much I want to be with her, so why would she keep calling when she knows it messes me up?

[funkybassplayer]

seems to me that shes just using you to build up her own confidence, and its hurting you. She does just want you as a friend, she misses the friend in you, but thats it. but its no good for you at all. She was your girlfried, you did some great things together, if you cant hack being her friend then my friend you have to let her go, and concentrate on you, cos sure as hell when the next guy turns up, she'll drop you like a bad habbit, so walk away, while you still can, it hurts now, it may hurt ten times more if your not careful. You miss her cause you are still in contact with her, and she does'nt care that it hurts you, in fact getting angry at any suggestion that you make about getting back together.

[Quest]

Hi there. Your post caught my eye because I've been in this position too. It's not easy but the only way to heal is to have no contact - extremely hard though that is when you are still in love with someone and you have the chance of speaking to them. It would fine if she was wanting to get back together as that's what you want. But she just wants to chat and have you around. You're not getting what you want from this contact. What's more, it is keeping the wound open and preventing you from moving on. Your only option is to tell her you can't be in contact with her and really try to move on. You will get over it! You won't always feel this way. It might take quite a while and you might not believe it's possible at the moment but I'm sure lots of people will tell you the same thing - time does heal! Speaking for myself, I had to really work on truly accepting my ex did not feel the same way as me to stick with no contact and move on. Good luck.

[shelby68]

It just hurts to have to talk to some you are in love with when all you are getting is phone. Just tell her to not call you anymore because you can't be friends. I just did this with a woman who I am having trouble getting over. I said it is true you can't be friends with someone you are in love with. They give you nothing of what you want. You will just feel worse by being her friend and pining after her. And when she does start seeing someone else, it will only hurt more. Just cut her off at the knees. She had her chance. If she is ever serious about getting back together with you, she'll let you know. Actions speak louder than words, but don't let her keep dangling that carrot in front of you. Let her know that you are stronger than that and that she no longer has control of you and she is no longer part of your world. Maybe she'll come back, maybe she won't, but at least you'll have your self-respect. Besides, never be someones second choice ever! I know this is hard, but you have to do this to save your sanity or it will eat you up inside.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Here's the deal: I don't want to be your girlfriend, but you are a really nice guy and you make me feel much better about myself, and you should feel completely special that I am coming to you with my problems, but I do not want you for a boyfriend and I cannot even imagine tht th is would hurt you because surely I'm important enough for you to just want to be in my presence.

 

Do not allow the behavior to continue - if it is hurting you. If she were nothing but a friend, it would be one thing, but if you have feelings for her and she is ignoring those and offering only what she wants to, then that is unfair to you.