I ended it. Need to rant and could use some support.

[IpAncA]

What was said is IMO a classic mind game statement to make one second guess themselves. And trust me, it works like you wouldn't believe.

[Pyro]

What was said is IMO a classic mind game statement to make one second guess themselves. And trust me, it works like you wouldn't believe.

 

It sure does. Happened to me once upon a time.

[Touche]

I agree that the kids shouldn't have to see or hear it, but I would hate for this thread to be deleted. I want MB to always have this thread available so she can look back on the whole situation.

 

By civil I meant no name calling and below the belt insults. Him telling her to apologize is just his blurred perception of what is going on.

 

Either way has pros and cons, so whatever works.

 

Well I should hope that even if this bully has the guts to come back, that whatever he has to say, no matter how vile, his never deleted. Many people on here would benefit to see what a bully and abuser sounds like. I think it would be quite valuable for others to hear it out of his own mouth.

 

I, and others, can sit here and tell you chapter and verse what they say to manipulate you. But isn't it better to see the living proof of it?

 

Ok, let's see....I'll give it a stab. Maybe I'll just beat him to the punch. (He's not going to be man enough to come back anyway. He's a bully and a coward, remember?) But I sure would LOVE for him to come back and prove me wrong. Prove your "lady" wrong, why don't you?

 

So he'll say that you shouldn't pressure him so much. He has a lot of responsibility on his back now and you just don't do enough. You're constantly checking up on him. You nag and you whine. You don't make him want you when you're like that. And on and on and on it goes...

 

Does ANY of that, even if it were true, warrant locking you up in your house and calling you names? Does it warrant hitting you? NO!

 

A REAL man, sits calmly down with his "lady" and tells her that he's not happy about so and so. A REAL man doesn't go sneaking around behind his "lady's" back with the ex-girlfriend. A REAL man doesn't hit a woman. He uses the power of his brain, intellect and reasoning to solve things...not a fist. That's what ANIMALS do.

[underpants]

I agree. I would be very surprized if he did post to try to explain himself. Obviously he is reading it all and has yet to try to correct peoples' perceptions. That is revealing in itself.

 

MB, Touche is a great example of a strong, intelligent woman who has come out of the other side of a similiar experience and ultimately found a good man. Listen to her and use the strength she has shown as an example. It's okay to stick up for yourself. It's okay to undo yourself from an unhealthy relationship.

 

Be stong MB. Take some time away from this relationship so that your preceptions are clear. If he can't offer you that, then that is just another sign that you should force the time apart.

 

Regards,

Unders

[polywog]

MB, you mentioned on an earlier post that your ex wants to see the same therapist that you do. If this therapist agrees to see him, please pack your bags and find another. It's not right.

 

I saw a therapist years ago when I was married, and she suggested couples counciling. I asked her if she could do it, and she said NO, it's not ethical... she already knew me, and bringing my H into it was unfair to me, and to him, and recommended someone else.

 

In your case, especially, with the manipulation and abuse it would at the very least be terrible for your theraputic relationship to know that the ex is also talking to her/him.

 

I'm sure your ex could benefit from therapy if he's seriously up for it, but absolutely NOT with the person you are seeing.

 

Hang in there Miss_Bee, and stay pissed. You can be sad, too.... but you Must Stay as angry as you would be if you had your best friend tell you it happened to her.... YOU KNOW you'd be furious on her behalf, and not feel sorry for her abusive controlling SO!

 

Hugs and bunnies to celebrate your liberation, and your courage!:bunny:

[Miss_Bee]

It sure does. Happened to me once upon a time.

 

Awwww Rids I can't imagine anyone treating you that way. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this crap too.

 

MB, Touche is a great example of a strong, intelligent woman who has come out of the other side of a similiar experience and ultimately found a good man. Listen to her and use the strength she has shown as an example. It's okay to stick up for yourself. It's okay to undo yourself from an unhealthy relationship.

 

Be stong MB. Take some time away from this relationship so that your preceptions are clear. If he can't offer you that, then that is just another sign that you should force the time apart.

 

Regards,

Unders

 

I know! Touche, Your strength amazes me . But please, I know that he won't touch me physically again. I seen that in his eyes that night, when he came too and had realized what he had done. If that had worried me, I wouldn't have stayed with him after that. I would have let him call the police like he was trying to do.Especially, I don't want to bring any trouble to this special place. It's really my only place that i can vent, and if an ugly war starts on here, then well... I guess that i'll just have to learn from it, because i really won't have any where else to vent. I'll end up in my stupid room again *rolls eyes*

 

 

 

Thank you unders, your words mean a lot.

 

MB, you mentioned on an earlier post that your ex wants to see the same therapist that you do. If this therapist agrees to see him, please pack your bags and find another. It's not right.

 

I saw a therapist years ago when I was married, and she suggested couples counciling. I asked her if she could do it, and she said NO, it's not ethical... she already knew me, and bringing my H into it was unfair to me, and to him, and recommended someone else.

 

In your case, especially, with the manipulation and abuse it would at the very least be terrible for your theraputic relationship to know that the ex is also talking to her/him.

 

I'm sure your ex could benefit from therapy if he's seriously up for it, but absolutely NOT with the person you are seeing.

 

Hang in there Miss_Bee, and stay pissed. You can be sad, too.... but you Must Stay as angry as you would be if you had your best friend tell you it happened to her.... YOU KNOW you'd be furious on her behalf, and not feel sorry for her abusive controlling SO!

 

Hugs and bunnies to celebrate your liberation, and your courage!:bunny:

 

Hi Poly, I am not sure if he's going to see the same therapist or not. I just seen a piece of paper by the phone, and when i looked I seen that my therapist's work & home #'s were on it. I don't know if he actually called and made an appointment or not.

 

Thanks once again Poly, I really agree with your perspective. Staying pissed helps, as strange as that sounds. I'll look at it as if it was happening to my sister. She went through crazy sheeit with her ex husband too. I hate him with a passion. THAT anger is still there. It's his Birthday today, and my sister seen my ex walking the dog towards that way, so i guess that's where he is . He hates the guy himself, but that still seems to be his favorite hangout. Nothing but underage chicks and lots of alcohol.

[Pyro]

Awwww Rids I can't imagine anyone treating you that way. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this crap too.

 

Don't be sorry for me. It happened so long ago and I was so young and clueless about relationships. The point was that I learned from my bad experiences and you are about to do the same as well. Remember that what does not kill you will only make you stronger. Give it time and you shall see.

[polywog]

hi Miss_Bee, just checking in.... hope you are hanging in there OK!

[Miss_Bee]

hi Miss_Bee, just checking in.... hope you are hanging in there OK!

 

Hi Poly,

 

Thanks for your concern... I'm blue but i'm still breathing, so that's a good sign i guess:).

 

He came over today cause he thought he had left some things here, but i guess he must have misplaced them when he was moving because they weren't here.

 

He really caught me off guard, it was early and i had just woken up. It hurts to see him. It just hurts.. Period....

[eraforevermore]

Nope, life don't work like that honey. The person who was verbally abused and physically assaulted and locked in their room doesn't apologize. Get it now?

 

What does she have to apologize for? Yeah, maybe she said some things she shouldn't. We ALL do that from time to time. But cheating, hitting and locking someone in their house crosses over into a whole other world.

 

So tell us what she has to apologize for...if you even can.

 

 

 

No one here has heard the whole story I am no coward and as far as the abuse goes,no one and I mean no one but me and her know what I have suffered at her heavy hands and her hateful mouth.I do love her and have givin up so much for her.I am loyal to a fault.I have made mistakes and so has she,I spent the worst night of my life at her feet b/c of what I did to her.Since then I have suffered beatings and I have been made to feel like the lowest form of life.I have not been what she says I am and we both have made mistakes,I think it pretty bad in a day of so called equallity that the man is still the one who must shoulder the brunt of a woman scorn.I know I have done wrong and I have tryed to better it but it's really hard to stand up when you are knocked down time and again.I am in a lace where I am alone and my woman has done nothing but make my feel worse,kept me down w/her words and w/her actions.I know I have done wrong I regret holding her in her room (it was 4 less than 5 mins b4 she punched me in the face and called the cops)I am embassised to say I have been beaten but in her eyes this is justified.I wanted to be her everything as she said I was but she has never gotten over the past,this is also "my fault"I hold no disregard 4 this site and it's patrons however there are two side to every story,befor you judge me and call me an abuser and a coward please try to see that you didn't hear both sides and you don't know even close to half of the story.I am not a bad man,and she is not a bad woman.The point being NO-ONE knows the hearts and minds of men,I loved her w/all that I am and forsoke my family and my job to come to her(what she asked for and what I WANTED to give her).I have been made to pay for the past and for my sacrefice w/tears and bruses and belittlement,so in closing ...don't judge me when you don't know me and you don't know her.What if you were giving advice to an unstable indvidual?would any of you feel badif it ended in tragedy?Think b4 you say things that hurt,don't blindly impose your past on others,try to see that there are 2 side to every story.

Please take the time to read the whole post b4 ripping me,thank you for your time (I mean that honestly)

[Pyro]

Whatever the truth may be, its obvious that neither one of you were completely happy in the relationship and the relationship was not working. Both of you are doing yourselves a favor by ending things.

[Touche]

Nope, life don't work like that honey. The person who was verbally abused and physically assaulted and locked in their room doesn't apologize. Get it now?

 

What does she have to apologize for? Yeah, maybe she said some things she shouldn't. We ALL do that from time to time. But cheating, hitting and locking someone in their house crosses over into a whole other world.

 

So tell us what she has to apologize for...if you even can.[/quo

 

 

 

 

 

No one here has heard the whole story I am no coward and as far as the abuse goes,no one and I mean no one but me and her know what I have suffered at her heavy hands and her hateful mouth.I do love her and have givin up so much for her.I am loyal to a fault.

 

So you're saying she lied about your cheating with the ex g/f?..yes or no?

 

I have made mistakes and so has she,I spent the worst night of my life at her feet b/c of what I did to her.Since then I have suffered beatings and I have been made to feel like the lowest form of life.

 

Really? What kind of beatings? Tell us, please. How did she make you feel like the loiwest form of life? And don't you think you deserved that? Why do you keep going over to see if she's with someone? Is that even any of your business at this point?

 

Is she lying about the cheating? Yes or no?

 

I have not been what she says I am Really? Please tell us in what way you haven't been what she says, ok?

 

and we both have made mistakes,I think it pretty bad in a day of so called equallity that the man is still the one who must shoulder the brunt of a woman scorn.I know I have done wrong and I have tryed to better it but it's really hard to stand up when you are knocked down time and again.Uh, hello? Maybe it's because you keep frucking up time and time again. Ever think about that?

 

I am in a lace where I am alone and my woman has done nothing but make my feel worse,kept me down w/her words and w/her actions. AWW, BOO HOO!

 

I know I have done wrong I regret holding her in her room (it was 4 less than 5 mins b4 she punched me in the face and called the cops)I am embassised to say I have been beaten but in her eyes this is justified.You had no right to hold her for two SECONDS, get it now?

 

I wanted to be her everything as she said I was but she has never gotten over the past,this is also "my fault"I hold no disregard 4 this site and it's patrons however there are two side to every story,befor you judge me and call me an abuser and a coward please try to see that you didn't hear both sides and you don't know even close to half of the story.

 

Well, I for one, have heard enough. Why should she have gotten over the past? You went WAY over the line. Do you not get that? I'm glad I got to hear the other story.Too bad the other side was all BS though. Take your BS and try to sell it somewhere else, why don't you? MB is WAY smarter than you ever gave her credit for. And so are the "patrons" of LS.

 

.What if you were giving advice to an unstable indvidual?would any of you feel badif it ended in tragedy?Think b4 you say things that hurt,don't blindly impose your past on others,try to see that there are 2 side to every story.

 

Uh, yeah. I was giving advice the way I would to an unstable individual. No offense, but I think you are one.

 

And to answer the question .....I did not abuse her verbally(not in anyway close to the ways she did to me),I did (in the DARKEST day of my life )put my hands on her,and that is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life (it was the first and only and LAST time in my life)I have been bitten and blacken,punched and had my wind pipe crushed so badly it took 2 months to recover.

 

Oh BOO HOO..yeah, little MB defended herself against you and bit you and punched you and crushed your wind pipe so badly that it took 2 months to recover. Aww, boo hoo. Well guess what? she's having your baby. She's stuck with you the rest of her life now. She had to punch you and beat you up just to get you to back off and act like a man. She's wrong though. You can't make a weak little boy act like a man by beating him up. She'll learn that in time. I know she will.

 

And even though you're superficial wounds will heal..her deeper scars won't EVER heal. Hope you're happy with yourself.

 

Please take the time to read the whole post b4 ripping me,thank you for your time.

 

Oh I read it all. And I hope you don't think I was "ripping you." I was only telling the truth. You're almost 40 years old and you've never had a succesful relationship. Why do you think that is? Who is really wrong here? That's for YOU to decide. Not me. I'm nobody.

[Miss_Bee]

 

 

No one here has heard the whole story I am no coward and as far as the abuse goes,no one and I mean no one but me and her know what I have suffered at her heavy hands and her hateful mouth.

 

I know I have done wrong and I have tryed to better it but it's really hard to stand up when you are knocked down time and again.I am in a lace where I am alone and my woman has done nothing but make my feel worse,kept me down w/her words and w/her actions.I know I have done wrong I regret holding her in her room (it was 4 less than 5 mins b4 she punched me in the face and called the cops)I am embassised to say I have been beaten but in her eyes this is justified.I wanted to be her everything as she said I was but she has never gotten over the past,this is also "my fault"

 

I hold no disregard 4 this site and it's patrons

 

I have been made to pay for the past and for my sacrefice w/tears and bruses and belittlement,so in closing ...don't judge me when you don't know me and you don't know her.What if you were giving advice to an unstable indvidual?would any of you feel badif it ended in tragedy?Think b4 you say things that hurt,don't blindly impose your past on others,try to see that there are 2 side to every story.

 

And to answer the question .....I did not abuse her verbally(not in anyway close to the ways she did to me),I did (in the DARKEST day of my life )put my hands on her,and that is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life (it was the first and only and LAST time in my life)I have been bitten and blacken,punched and had my wind pipe crushed so badly it took 2 months to recover.

Please take the time to read the whole post b4 ripping me,thank you for your time.

 

The only time i have ever laid a hand on you was when you made me feel powerless by not letting me out of the room. (which was i admit a more than a few times) You made me feel so trapped. I admit, yes I grabbed his throat. I had to do something to get away. He would sceram in my face and keep pushing me on the bed every time i'd try to get up. and when i couldn't take anymore i'd try to leave. When he wouldn't let me i felt clausterphobic. I have told him this counctless times, "baby please don't confine me, i won't get half as angry if you stop that." I've told him how it makes me feel, yet he continued and when he actually said the words "NO! I won't let you out of this room" is when i called the cops.

 

The only time i didn't fight back is when i couldn't. It was after i found that whore's email address on the favorites menu. I left him here and went to the city without him to shop for my daughter's party. After I got back, he did the same thing. He screamed at me for hours calling me all sorts of ugly things. Then he pinned me on the bed and screamed in my face until i couldn't cry anymore. Being pregnant didn't change the way he treated me. I regret putting my hands on you, I have never ever done this before until you started trapping me. I've never been in a physical fight until you.

 

How can i get over the past, when you keep contacting her? I was over it before you moved back here, At least i thought i was until you came back sporting 20 pictures of her. Lying about only talking to her twice, and then seeing that you were trying to get her on IMing and asking her for her account # so you can give HER money when you promise me that you were supposed to be saving so I could move down THERE???

 

Lies lies lies and more lies.... They really hurt....

 

You lying that she just sent the pictures.... pictures of you together, of you kissing for godsakes... and then admitting that YOU asked for them. Why? When you have never ever once even been interested in a picture of me? You have admitted to cheating on me with her, to going behind my back contacting her... How can i forgive you when you keep doing these things???? If you'd stop and if i had a chance i probably could. But tell me how when you keep disguising her #'s and leave plans of gifts for her in OUR house?

 

What about the naked pictures of her that i found, you promised that you threw them away and didn't? What about the wedding that you invited me to only to get uninvited? Driving you to where you lied about catching the bus, when all the time SHE picked you up? ALSO lying about where you stayed, and that you kissed her! You beat me because I couldn't accept this friendship between you too. I picked you up in the city, probably moments after she dropped you off there. What a fool i was.

 

You say that you hold no disregard for this place or it's patrons???????????????? Just wednesday you told me you hated this place and gave me major shyte for sending "innuendos" to a certian poster on here. Which were NOT anything near innuendo's. You've grilled me and yelled and screamed at me about me being on here.

 

Somedays it would be "are you going to shack it honey?" So i figure it's all good i can post and feel good about it....

 

Next thing you know you are freaking at me for posting..... I just don't get it. I hate the fact that i'm even doing this on here.

 

You also lie when you say that you don't verbally abuse me. How can that be? It's all you do when you come at me screaming and holding me up in the room. Your words forever echo through my head.

 

That's it guys. I'm outa here. I don't want this. I don't want any of it.

 

I've said my piece and now i am going to go crawl into a hole and die.

[Tony]

LoveShack.org will not tolerate the kind of attacks that are occurring on this thread. Some of the posts serve a good purpose, others are completely argumentative and uncalled for. Until it can be properly moderated the thread is closed.

 

Further, I ask that the arguing parties in this thread not start another for the purpose of continuing it. Additionally, there are obviously two parties here who are involved closely with each other. It is my own personal opinion that they need to take what advice they may have gleaned from this and other threads and move away from this site and onto neutral grounds where differences can be properly discussed and resolved.

 

Thank you for your cooperation.