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still hurt & worried....


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Spoonandfork22

no matter how hard i try i cant seem to let go. my bf has stopped all contact w. his ex however, since he told those 'little white lies' in the past i cant help thinking he's still lying to me and still in contact with her. like any person, i have my good days and i have my BAD days. days when i vow to end it b.c. i cant deal w. the worry and the frustration. he is an amazing boyfriend. an amazing guy...he is everything i have ever wanted and everything i will ever want, but i cannot seem to get past this girl. i cannot help but think he thinks about her still, wonders where she is or what shes doing..i wonder if he still wants her, stil wants to 'bang her'. i know its sick and it absolutely sucks. this girl is four years younger then me and very primiscuous. why should i worry?

 

when it came to her i saw a side of my bf i never thought existed. a person who did things behind my back b.c. he said i 'would get mad', a person who lied to my face about phone calls to her and vowed to never do it again, only to have it happen again. ihe swears he never cheated, as does she (i confronted her). he said he just wanted to remain friends, nothing more. how can i believe that when you are doing things behind my back. it has been three or four months since any incident occured and i am 80% sure there is no contact between them...but i worry, alot. and its like i wait for my heart to be broken b.c. if i anticipate this, it wont hurt as much.

 

him and i have spoken of this topic so much that its like a broken record and a terrible thing to even bring up. he happened to go to a grad party the other weekend while i was at work and SURPRISE she was there. luckily i kept my jealousy under control.

 

i guess im wondering what the h*ll i should do about this. do i talk to him again? do i talk to her? do i let it go? do i look through his phone? i dont understand my behavior. i dont understand how i can love this person so much, trust him with anything else on this EARTH, but not this girl.

 

i also want to add he has done nothing since this to breach my trust, he hasnt made me doubt him and he hasnt been shady. but me, being defensive, is just setting myself up. i guess i am just assuming he still wants her and is trying to get the best of both worlds....

 

help.

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LakesideDream

You didn't mention your ages, or how long your "BF" was in the relationship with his "ex"... or even if it was a BF/GF thing Livein, or marriage.

 

If it was BF/GF.. and you are both "young" it's a natural thing. It's what all of us went through trying to find and hold onto the "right one" if we were lucky.

 

Don't sweat it! If your BF is good to you, be good to him. Great things may come your way.

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