I slept with my stepsister...(!)

[MuNky]

All right I know some of you might say "eeeuw!" or "gross!", but hear me out:

 

My divorced dad (about 50y) started dating this woman (A) 4 years ago. I once met her daughter (B), which is year younger than me (I'm currently 24) in passing. I realized she is out of my league - I am a bit overweight and nerdy, she is quite attractive and a social butterfly.

 

Now before I continue, some of you might think that I already had a non-platonic attraction to B by comparing "leagues". Well since I am a shy, with low self-esteem, its sort of a mental reaction I get with any girl I meet.

 

Anyway my dad stayed in another town than me, so contact with them (Dad, A & B) was rare. I eventually moved to my dad's town after he offered me a job at his company. Dad married A. I never really had contact with B, only, like I've said, in passing. B decided to go on a working holiday overseas. We started hanging out together the 2 weeks before she left. She remarked that it is sad that we didn't hang out more, since she says I am a nice guy and quite sweet and caring and I am actually quite cool and funny (all her words). Now 9 months later she came back on Thursday for a visit for the next 3 weeks. Last night (Fri) we went clubbing, where she caught up with some of her friends. Well we all got a little drunk, me not so much since I am taking medication where it is not recommended to drink. In her drunken state she confided in me that she is very insecure about her looks and personality. I kept complimenting her to boost her self-esteem. But before this she introduced me to everyone that I am her "darling brother". She also gave a lot of hugs and pecks on the cheek to me throughout the night.

 

When I realized she is drinking too much I sobered her up by ordering water for her every round. She got reasonably sober. I had a drink or two, but I was reasonably sober as well. When I took her home she asked if she can stay with me, (I live in a garden apartment at my fathers house). Since she doesn't want to wake up the house. This was about 3am. I said sure, but my mind started racing at the possibility of something, since I do have a crush on her. (She is the girl that treated me the nicest ever). Well as she laid there, I valiantly offered to sleep in my chair. She said no, that is ridiculous I should lay in the bed next to her...

 

She rolled over, put her head and arm on my chest. Now I am staring wide-eyed at the ceiling! I am aroused but, she is my step-sister! After a while I whispered "Are you asleep?" she said no, then she looked at me and we (both of us reached!) slowly kissed. Well my hand started creeping and I kissed her neck and went down, I paused and asked her if she is ok with what is happening. She replied that nothing is wrong, sort of surprised that I am asking such a stupid question, so I undressed her slowly, I could feel that she is quite comfortable with what is happening. She took of my shirt, I leaped out of bed to double check all the locks of my apartment. I continued undressing her. I gave her oral sex, she climaxed, I realized that I am not ready, I told her that and she said it doesn't matter, and I should relax. So I my lips glided over her body again, a lot of kissing, well I played with her and she climaxed a second time. I told her again I am not ready, she said its fine, and I replied that if she is happy, then I am happy. She drifted of to sleep.

 

I laid there wide eyed. I couldn't sleep. I started readying my apartment to hide any evidence of what happened, I paced around biting my lip, realizing that if anybody found out, that life would get a lot difficult. My dad treats her like his own, and she once told me that she loves my dad more than her own dad. I have the world of respect for her mom. Oh god I thought, oh god...

 

So I laid there watching her sleep. When after about one or two hours she wakes up, I told her we should talk, she gave me the idea that I should calm down, and that she had a good time. We joked about how we are going to hide what happened, and how I "am looking after your daughter ma'am". Anyway I gave her some of my pajamas to wear so that if we get caught out that it would look innocent that she spent the night with me.

 

This morning we went out for breakfast with her mum (A). I think that she suspects nothing, and she assumes that last night was innocent. (B) is walking and talking like nothing has happened.

 

We are going clubbing again tonight...

 

Now, should I treat this as a one time incident, should I have a secret holiday fling with her? Should I wash my soul with bleach? She is currently visiting a school friend but our family will meet in about one hour...afterwards we plan to go clubbing.

[Tony T]

She is no blood relation to you and you haven't been around her a lot, treating her like a sister, so I see no problem. However, if the relationship continues you will have to disclose it to everybody so they aren't shocked. Nothing taboo about this at all, except in appearance.

 

Now, if your dad or her mom get steamed about this you may have to start aiming your affections in a different direction. In NO CASE should you disclose to anybody that the two of you have slept together. That's simply nobody's business. Just hope she doesn't have a big mouth.

[MuNky]

Thanks Tony, I am quite keen to pursue this fling - she is returning overseas in 3 weeks - so should we still keep it under wraps? When we talked earlier about what happened, I got the impression that she shouldn't blab it to family, and I think (hope) that if she blabbed to friends of her that it the rumor will probably not reach our parents. And if it did I am sure we can dismiss it as nasty rumors. After all she was affectionate around me during clubbing and we led each other around by hand... Our parents know that we look out for each other during clubbing as well as the fact that we are good friends and she is generally of the hugg-ish type.

[MuNky]

Tanks Adick. Yeah I am sort of grinning about "banging" my hot stepsister. But I am mostly fearful of my dad - he is quite conservative when it comes to his family and inner circle - I am a bit afraid of him firing me from my job. Our personal relationship is shaky because I never grew up in his house, and because of the distance issue I only saw him holidays, so we really don't know each other. My stepmom, well I am concerned about the fact I would lose her respect.

 

On the other hand my dad is sorta 'playa' type. (He had to marry my mom because she was expecting me, after their divorce when I was 5 he had a lot of girlfriends) He also took me to a strip-club on my 21st. Which was quite bonding. And few times after that, during an off time with A (they had an off-again-on-again relationship because he moved away for the company he worked for, he moved back to start his own company)

 

Anyway I have to go for the family dinner. I'll check back regularly the next few days.

 

I would like some female perspective as well.

[Lizzie60]

I don't see anything wrong, like Tony said... you're not blood related...but for your parents it could be a whole different story... they won't see the difference.

 

If I were you I would not jump too high... maybe she just wanted to have a little fun (she might be 'kinkier' on the side) and she won't think much of this 'aventure'...

 

Play it cool... tell her to be discreet about it, even to her friends... I think you said that your job could be in jeopardy because of this... then you have to be very careful...you don't want to lose your job, lose her, then lose the respect of your stepmother and most importantly the relationship you have with your father (even though it's not that close, it's better than nothing).

 

Keep it under the cover for now... and to be very honest with you, I doubt this will go any further than just sex...so protect yourself from any painful 'surprises'.

 

From what I read, you don't really know her... she very well could have many sexual partners. Who knows. I hope you used protection... if not, get yourself tested.

[Sheba]

Munky

 

It sounds to me as if you and your stepsister are both vulnerable. You both have low self esteem - you have admitted yours in your description of yourself, she admitted hers to you.

 

So, she got drunk and was horny and you were there to make her feel desirable and fulfill her desire for sex. It might be fair to say you "used" each other. Despite the prevailing wisdom, there are indeed girls out there who are able to enjoy sex without an emotional connection. She might be fond of you, of course, but having sex doesn't mean she is in love.

 

I think that this event is one that may be played out again when/if your stepsister has a low moment and wants sex, so long as you are willing, but if I were you I would not make any assumptions. Do not expect that it will become a love affair!

 

It may be that this girl will have a delayed reaction of shame to sleeping with a "relative", or she may come to see you as her "go to guy" when she is lonely. She might just replace you with a "go to guy" who has fewer complications.

 

The real danger is one of you getting hurt and having a reaction that causes family difficulties. If your parents are married you need to imagine years of family events and facing your stepsister at each one. If she rejects you, will you be able to cope? Or, will you be able to count yourself lucky for whatever has occured and be friendly to her?

 

If I were in the shoes of your parents (and I do have a daughter and 3 stepsons) I would be shaken by this relationship. Remember, to the parents you are all more like siblings than you may feel. I would be angry too, I imagine, if 2 of the kids got together for a fling and then ended up later unhappy and bitter at family functions.

 

I doubt this advice would be easy to accept, but to be smart you should probably be your stepsister's friend but put yourself out of temptation's way in the future.

[MuNky]

Thanks Lizzie,

 

No I wanted to use protection (was on the night stand in reach), but struggling to "get it up" (may have been the alcohol, may have been the nerves, may have been the guilt) I only pleasured her with no penetration (I had my boxers on the whole time) But don't worry, protection is always first with me (not that I get around a lot), and I was tested a few weeks ago for an insurance policy, so I am fine...

 

Now, the masculine ego part of me is roaring if it is just sex, but the future between us ( me & B) - in a family context - may be a bit uncomfortable.

[Lizzie60]

Thanks Lizzie,

 

No I wanted to use protection (was on the night stand in reach), but struggling to "get it up" (may have been the alcohol, may have been the nerves, may have been the guilt) I only pleasured her with no penetration (I had my boxers on the whole time) But don't worry, protection is always first with me (not that I get around a lot), and I was tested a few weeks ago for an insurance policy, so I am fine...

 

Now, the masculine ego part of me is roaring if it is just sex, but the future between us ( me & B) - in a family context - may be a bit uncomfortable.

 

It's true.. sorry I forgot about this part... you said you didn't have penetration.. my mistake sorry.

 

She was the lucky one! LOL

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

She is no blood relation to you and you haven't been around her a lot, treating her like a sister, so I see no problem. However, if the relationship continues you will have to disclose it to everybody so they aren't shocked. Nothing taboo about this at all, except in appearance.

 

Now, if your dad or her mom get steamed about this you may have to start aiming your affections in a different direction. In NO CASE should you disclose to anybody that the two of you have slept together. That's simply nobody's business. Just hope she doesn't have a big mouth.

 

I agree with you in theory, Tony T. But perhaps not so much in practise.

 

The dynamics of what happened between MuNKy and his step-sister, are very much imbalanced. Not many excuses to do what they did, really.

 

I think Sheba's post is very good.

 

MuNKY, you know this girl is what you'd have loved to have, but couldn't really get. You were presented with the opportunity, and decided to go for it.

 

You were both drunk that night (she more so than you). What followed was her getting some quick action from you. That was what she wanted, it wouldn't have mattered to her whether it was you or Johnny next door, or even a complete stranger.

 

The problem arises because she is actually your step-sister. Not being a blood-relative still doesn't absolve you of social ties. You know what I mean - it's not a crime, but it's still not easily accepted, and I can see why.

 

If this sort of was widely practised, you'd have the whole family scr*wing each other. The mom doing the dad, the step-brother doing the step-sister. Doesn't make for a very wholesome situation.

 

When your dad re-married, he was trying to establish another family of sorts - so naturally, this wouldn't go down well with him.

 

Now, what's been done, has been done. Keep the secret to yourself, and hope that she does, too. Keep your distance, and let her forget about it.

[DiamondBack06]

The dynamics of what happened between MuNKy and his step-sister, are very much imbalanced. Not many excuses to do what they did, really

 

Well she is a hot step-sister,and she was wanting to get laid...thats excuse enough! Be careful though,she sounds like she may have a case of "Fire Crotch"

[Quinch]

The mom doing the dad, the step-brother doing the step-sister. Doesn't make for a very wholesome situation.

 

Moms sleeping with dads ? Where will it all end?

[DiamondBack06]

Moms sleeping with dads ? Where will it all end?

 

I know,that's just totally wrong isn't it?

 

BTW,MuNky,in all seriousness,I don't think you should keep going on with this...You're not blood related,but it does make the whole family situation very difficult....This will hurt your dad if he is truly in love with that girl's daughter.. I really think you should have a serious talk with your step sister...She will have a ton of respect for you if you step up and tell her that this can't happen,and it will only make our lives difficult.

 

I'd go out and try to get a GF of my own..

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Moms sleeping with dads ? Where will it all end?

 

Okay, you got me there.

[MuNky]

We didn't go clubbing Saturday night (I'm typing this on Sunday). She was still suffering from a bit of jet-lag, so she stayed in. I was tired and still shaken from the previous night.

 

I am very bothered, though. It kinda hurts being around her, knowing that we had a one-night-stand, and not being able to kiss/hug her (or more...) in an affectionate way. If there is anything to learn from this, it is that it's not a good idea to have a ONS with someone you are going to be around the days (in my case years) after. If you are sensitive (which I guess I am) or lonely-ish (of which I definitely are), don't even think about it. I kept replaying the event in my minds-eye, being turned on and saddened at the same time. Dreaming about the event actually woke me up this morning, sort of like waking from a nightmare.

 

I did have a frank talk with her this afternoon, when I gave her a lift to her Dads' (BTW Happy Father's Day y'all). I said that she should keep it as a dark secret from everyone, even though we are adults, our parents won't be very impressed, and it shouldn't bother us since we never grew up together(thanks for you guys' advice). She agreed. She said she only wanted to have a bit of fun, it was nothing really (ouch), she said that I over-think too much. She thanked me for being there. I offered myself (in hindsight maybe a bad idea), as a booty call. I said that she knows I care about her (of which I do, as a friend, not a brother), and I reminded her of what I whispered to her right afterwards, that if she is happy, I am happy. She said that that she is glad that I am in her life.

 

Driving away I was flooded with sadness, knowing that it was maybe just sex for her, knowing that it may not happen again, knowing that I may not have a relationship with her. It also bothers me that it she may have slept with me out of pity (remember the leagues) . I had to stop to cry my eyes out.

 

I do hope, in some sick way, to sleep with her again. I suspect that it may be because I didn't have an orgasm. I usually masturbate every morning in the shower, but I don't even have sexual thoughts except the replay of the event. I do realise that I am walking around with more self-confidence. (since starting therapy I always try to define my current emotions, it helps a lot, and I try to control them towards a positive answer, this situation does seem to be bigger than my abilities, that is why I started this thread)

 

Maybe I should focus on a getting a GF. Lately I have been more confident around women (I am currently feeling the effects of rehabilitation from depression, thanks to drugs and good therapy). I might even mention to you that I have a few prospects, currently: A girl (from another firm) and I are flirting the last few weeks with each other when we correspond through work. She always refers to me as her paramour. What makes me more attracted to this girl is the fact that she started the flirting, what makes me less keen is the fact that it might all be just an innocent joke (since from what I gather she has a BF), that may be another thread... anyway. I am also keen towards a video store clerk, even though I am sure she is out of my league, and she mentioned a BF as well. We are more and more friendly with each other. Progress is slow because it seems she is a bit shy generally.

 

Damn, I can't wait for my next therapy session.

 

I will check back regularly, I would like to thank you guys for very good advice. Sorry Sheba, I only read your post after I posted. It is a good post like This_Too_Shall_Pass said. If you (everybody) feel you would like to give more advice please do.

[KittenMoon]

Well, IMHO, this girl is not your stepsister at all. She's not a blood relation, nor were you two raised together as children or teens, and not in the same household. She's your father's wife's daughter.

 

BUT you should probably cut the whole "stepbrother/sister" labels if you intend to do this again- don't treat her, or have her treat you, socially in a way that is going to make people go "ewwwww!" if they were to find out you guys have gone at it.

 

How you two treat each other- as brother/sister or as peers that are circumstancially "related"- will translate into how others treat you.

[MuNky]

Thanks KittenMoon, yeah when I started thinking of her as a friend instead of a stepsister, well that calmed me down somewhat. I also mentioned it towards her (this morning) that maybe we should refer to/introduce each other as pals, instead of step-siblings, she frown-smiled and said ok, I just told her to do that for me. She accepted that. I think I am starting to relax more now. Thanks guys.