HokeyReligions Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 I keep reading posts about how couples break-up, but still continue to date or "hang out" with each other, or how they stay in contact with each other, etc. and call their so and "ex" when they are obviously not an "ex". What the hell is that all about!People are so worried that their "ex" will continue to hurt them, or that they may do something to anger or hurt their "ex". Or they talk about thier bf/gf still their "ex" while dating them. There is no "ex" in this case. The only time someone should be involved with an "ex" is if there are children involved or the "ex couple" is dealing with division of property. If you break up, you break up. If you need more closure, then maybe you have a calm discussion shortly AFTER the decision to break up and thats it. This borrowing stuff from each other, and still seeing each other, or spying on each other, and being involved in each others lives is not a break up. It's just a change in dating routines and makes people hurt worse and far longer than they need to. Whats up with that? I may be older than a lot of you, but time and age does not change human emotion or instinctual reactions. I've been in love and broken up and I remember not wanting to let go and having to find closure. But when we broke up, we BROKE UP. Link to post Share on other sites
Max11374 Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 I totally agree with you, at first I tried being cool with my ex cause not only do we still live together, but I still had feeling for her, not sure what exactly those feelings where... Now I'm like whatever, we are broken up so one must move on. Your post is very up lifting... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 It mostly has to do with immaturity and emotional insecurity. A lot of people are very confused at the time of a break up. Often the dumpee didn't want the break-up and the dumper feels guilty as hell. Sometimes, people are so used to being with each other that they feel some strange obligation to let each other down gradually over time. A fast, clean breakup is MUCH better but it can be very painful for a period of time. Of course, the slow death is painful as well but people just don't realize it. Anyway, everything you have written is true. Link to post Share on other sites
icecreamhelps Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 I think a lot of it has to do with that huge empty spot in your day when you are a broken-up person. We all avoid that for as long as possible...kind of weening ourselves off of the other person. It's really very illogical, but hard to avoid unless decided on from BOTH sides during the break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
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