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Brandy

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My boyfriend enjoys telling me about his past sexual experiences even though he knows how uncomfortable and jealous it makes me. Yet, he pries until I answer his questions about mine, and then when I mention the fact that I don't want to hear about his, he goes on and on about how I tell him about mine. And today, I had him meet a friend and ex coworker of mine with whom I'd had sex with, and he got really mad about it, even though I've met plenty of girls that are his friends and I know he's slept with them. He even admitted that he still cared about them. How can I approach this is a rational way without seeming like I'm jumping down his throat about it?

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Hi Brandy,

 

It seems you and I are in somewhat similar circumstances (see my posting). I decided to have "a talk" with her about it last night and it went well -- I felt comfortable expressing my feelings, but do feel there is more to talk about. I completely understand how this makes you feel and hope you post a follow-up about how it all goes. I wish I had the answer for you, because I am still searching for it myself. If either of us find it, let's promise to tell each other what it is. Thanks and good luck!

My boyfriend enjoys telling me about his past sexual experiences even though he knows how uncomfortable and jealous it makes me. Yet, he pries until I answer his questions about mine, and then when I mention the fact that I don't want to hear about his, he goes on and on about how I tell him about mine. And today, I had him meet a friend and ex coworker of mine with whom I'd had sex with, and he got really mad about it, even though I've met plenty of girls that are his friends and I know he's slept with them. He even admitted that he still cared about them. How can I approach this is a rational way without seeming like I'm jumping down his throat about it?
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Hey there,,you cant approach it rationally.Im 24 and my ex-fiancee used to say rotten things about having sex with her ex's every time we would argue.She finally ended up sleeping with one.It was planned around when he was coming back into the state.She magically broke up with me for 3 wks.Listen,this behavior is unacceptable.Period.There is NO PURPOSE other than to create conflict and jealousy.He obviously has some sick fettish about past sex lives.The question is why??? I assume that the two of you have sex.So I doubt he is using guilt to try and sleep with you.I almost bet he is a very controlling,possibly abusive person who is extremely jealous of anyone you talk to.Be careful.His constant inquiries about your sexual PAST and his constant stories about his,,arent NORMAL.Its one thing to know your partner and thier past but,reliving this recurrently is very ill.Tell him you do not want to hear about his stories anymore,,and if he "loves" his x's,,thats where he should be.There is a saying I heard that I know live by,,its pretty simple and means the world. "ALL OR NOTHING!" Enough said and good luck!

 

Your friend,

 

Michael

My boyfriend enjoys telling me about his past sexual experiences even though he knows how uncomfortable and jealous it makes me. Yet, he pries until I answer his questions about mine, and then when I mention the fact that I don't want to hear about his, he goes on and on about how I tell him about mine. And today, I had him meet a friend and ex coworker of mine with whom I'd had sex with, and he got really mad about it, even though I've met plenty of girls that are his friends and I know he's slept with them. He even admitted that he still cared about them. How can I approach this is a rational way without seeming like I'm jumping down his throat about it?
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