I am really needing advice from the men please!!!

[sugies]

I am really just wanting a guys point of view here. Lets say you met someone that you were really intrested in. You met this person being out socially and had a couple of run ins together before exchanging numbers. There is definate chemistry there! You wait a week to call her and have the perfect date!

 

Run into each other again the next weekend out. You had one or two phone calls that week, and then the following weekend you see each other out and you end up leaving together. the night ends up in a unbelievable sexual encounter. Over the next cople of weeks there is 2 more dates with sex involved.

 

A month goes by neither of the 2 have really called but have had short conversations through email. Another month guy calls and girl was unavailable called him back. He wanted to get together that night. She declined because of short notice. Another month short emails are exchanged. Guy tells girl for her to give him a call. She calls a week later. They schedule plans which fell throught on girls part.

 

Girl sends email apology included and leaves it in guys court call me when you get some free time and we will hook up. Guy responds and says I will talk to you when returning form jamaica.

 

I guess the main question what do you think of this girl at this point. Is she still someone that has some relationship potential or just a sex bud? Are both people playing the game of being a challenge and it is causing some confusion or is this a friendship with sex?

 

At what point to you decide that you do not see this girl as someone you want to be with seriously and how long do guys typically string this friendship sex along? Did the sex come toO early?

 

Both people are extremely busy wth careers and time together is limited. Please help me firgure this out.

[Tony T]

1. "Is she still someone that has some relationship potential or just a sex bud?"

 

Right now she is a former sex acquaintence. She has not yet evolved into a sex bud. I'd say there minimal relationship potential but not a lot.

 

2. "Are both people playing the game of being a challenge and it is causing some confusion or is this a friendship with sex?"

 

No, I don't see a game here. I see two busy people just having a problem connecting. It happens a lot when two people are busy, travel a lot, etc.

 

3. "At what point to you decide that you do not see this girl as someone you want to be with seriously and how long do guys typically string this friendship sex along?"

 

Guys usually string it on until they find somebody who is more reliable or available or they find someone they are truly interested in who is more available for a serious relationship. There is no particular timetable. Everybody has there own level of tolerance.

 

4. " Did the sex come toO early?"

 

Not if you enjoyed it.

 

People don't seem to understand that if a relationship is meant to be, it happens. If it wasn't meant to be, it won't happen regardless of when you have sex, when you kiss, when you ovulate, when you urinate or when to constipate.

 

In this particular situation, the circumstances of your first sexual encounter were not ideal for a long term situation but they were OK. However, this lady may very well be into sport sex with many people. You are intrigued because she is a challenge. Don't let that blind you to the fact that she doesn't seem to be too interested. If she was, she'd make time for you no matter what.

 

Good luck!!!

[sugies]

What would be next step for the next time we get together. If i was wanting more out of this person and not just a sexual thing. Do I accept the sex if it comes along or respect the situation and hold off on the encounter even if they are probably expecting it?

I want this person to respect me in moral issues and not that i just hop into bed with everyone. there was something stronger pulling me to them that i just could not avoid . What is the best option here.

[clia]

I'm not a guy, so you can take or leave this advice.

 

This has been going on for about four months?

 

You wait a week to call her and have the perfect date!

 

If it was that perfect, he would have called you after and not simply waited to "run into" you again. For all he knew, he would never run into you again. If it was so perfect from his perspective, he would have found a way to make damn sure he saw you again. He would have called and asked you out on another date.

 

Is she still someone that has some relationship potential or just a sex bud.

 

My guess is sex bud. I think if he wanted a relationship he would be/would have been pursuing you harder. He has put in (it appears) very close to no effort to see you.

 

Are both people playing the game of being a challenge and it is causing some confusion or is this a friendship with sex.

 

I don't even know if I would call it friendship. You talk to him about once a month? Sounds like a "well, if I can get a last minute gig with her, we can sleep together, but I'm not putting any effort in beyond that."

 

At what point to you decide that you do not see this girl as someone you want to be with seriously and how long do guys typically string this friendship sex along?

 

I think most guys figure out they have deeper feelings within a few months, but prior to that they pursue if they think there is any potential. Guys will string along friendship sex as long as they possible can, or until they meet their dreamgirl.

 

Did the sex come to early?

 

Yes. You had one date with him prior to sleeping with him. The rest of the times were "running into each other." Those are not dates. The two dates you had after the first involved sex.

 

Both people are extremely busy wth careers and time together is limited.

 

Busy is a terrible excuse. In my experience, even the most busy, career focused, workaholic guys who have twelve thousand friends will find time to call a girl they are really interested in. They will also find time to see her. Ditto for girls. Busy is a nice excuse when you aren't really that keen on someone, but don't want to close the door completely, for sex, occasional companionship, or whatever other reasons.