How do I tell him about his teeth? UGH!

[Lightglowabove]

Ok, this one is a toughie...at least for me. I just started dating this guy and I like him alot, but his teeth are stained! And I don't mean just stained, I mean brown!!! I don't mind that they're crooked a little, but the color really turns me off!!!

 

How do I tell him to "whiten up"??? Send him a whitening kit?? LOL!

 

HELP!

[Lizzie60]

Ok, this one is a toughie...at least for me. I just started dating this guy and I like him alot, but his teeth are stained! And I don't mean just stained, I mean brown!!! I don't mind that they're crooked a little, but the color really turns me off!!!

 

How do I tell him to "whiten up"??? Send him a whitening kit?? LOL!

 

HELP!

 

Yes this is tough... If you are really close to him it should be easier... tell him straight out that you would like him to try to whiten his teeth... This can be done at the dentist... (I had mine done professionally) and it does a good job instantly...it's more expensive but it works...

 

It would be a deal breaker for me... Teeth are so important..

 

Good luck...

[Fun2BMe]

Tell him that you're thinking about using Crest white strips for yourself, and ask if he'll try it out with you so you can share the results. Don't make it so that you are telling him he has a defect that you find unattractive, but that you are trying out a product together equally.

[taiko]

He knows how his teeth look. He either fears the pain of or he can't afford dental care.

[Art_Critic]

Tell him that you're thinking about using Crest white strips for yourself, and ask if he'll try it out with you so you can share the results. Don't make it so that you are telling him he has a defect that you find unattractive, but that you are trying out a product together equally.

 

I would agree with FUN...

Make it feel like this is something that you do as well, that way you can have him do it with you..

If his teeth are full of decay whitening these may cause problems with sensitivity..

You might want to have him see a dentist instead

 

One thing to remember is that white teeth are not actually the sign of healthy teeth..

A good healthy adult tooth is slightly yellowish grey and not bright white..

 

Although we consider white teeth to be healthy that generally isn't the case..

[zeldazelda]

if it's so unattractive, why did you bother to start dating him if you know this was something that turns you off?

 

i mean, i know, he's nice and sweet, all that jazz, but you had to have seen his teeth by the first date...why would you begin dating someone who has something you already want to change?

[Lizzie60]

I would agree with FUN...

Make it feel like this is something that you do as well, that way you can have him do it with you..

If his teeth are full of decay whitening these may cause problems with sensitivity..

You might want to have him see a dentist instead

 

One thing to remember is that white teeth are not actually the sign of healthy teeth..

A good healthy adult tooth is slightly yellowish grey and not bright white..

 

Although we consider white teeth to be healthy that generally isn't the case..

 

White teeth might not be a sign of good health...but rotten teeth are also a sign of bad health or bad hygiene... yuck! and white teeth look so much better.

 

I don't think that the strips would help from what I read... he needs a dentist ASAP...

[McFadden]

Wow, I didn't realize this was a big deal. Bad news for me since my teeth are practically brown. There's no point in trying to keep up with it because I constantly drink coffee. Maybe that's why his teeth are that color? Some people's teeth are more prone to darkening and if they're drinking a lot of dark colored beverages, over the counter whitening strips are not going to be able to counteract it, and keeping up professional whitening is expensive.

 

I'd suggest the using Whitestrips together idea, but if it doesn't work you will have to decide if this is a deal breaker. Darkened teeth can be kind of sexy and add a little bit of an edge, I think mine are.

[Lightglowabove]

Wow, I didn't realize this was a big deal. Bad news for me since my teeth are practically brown. There's no point in trying to keep up with it because I constantly drink coffee. Maybe that's why his teeth are that color? Some people's teeth are more prone to darkening and if they're drinking a lot of dark colored beverages, over the counter whitening strips are not going to be able to counteract it, and keeping up professional whitening is expensive.

 

I'd suggest the using Whitestrips together idea, but if it doesn't work you will have to decide if this is a deal breaker. Darkened teeth can be kind of sexy and add a little bit of an edge, I think mine are.

 

McFadden, that's it exactly! They are brown and I'm sure he drinks a lot of coffee and I know some teeth are more porous than others. So, how would you like someone to say something to you about your teeth? Maybe this will help me.

 

Zelda, this was my FIRST date with him....when I noticed his teeth. I'm not going to stop dating him because of it, but he would look so much better without brown teeth. He's a sweetie.

 

Thanks for all the good advice - keep it coming!! I don't think I can do the whitestrips because my teeth don't need them.

[Lizzie60]

I don't think I can do the whitestrips because my teeth don't need them.

 

You don't need to actually do it... but you can tell him you do... he might like the idea.

 

Even on the first date, that would be a deal-breaker for me... Teeth are extremely important for me... maybe the first thing I notice.

[McFadden]

McFadden, that's it exactly! They are brown and I'm sure he drinks a lot of coffee and I know some teeth are more porous than others. So, how would you like someone to say something to you about your teeth? Maybe this will help me.

 

Yep. If this is the case giving up coffee or cutting down on coffee are the only ways to deal with it. I even had my teeth professionally whitened and going back to coffee has still undone the results, so it was just a waste of money.

 

Not many people have commented besides close friends but its usually in a very blunt way ("you really need to get your teeth whitened!) It doesn't offend me at all, but I'm not going to change my habits just because of comments like that. If I was in a relationship with someone and they said it was important to them, I might try. I have realized that I could have whiter teeth if I wanted to but I made the choice to drink coffee.

[sb129]

Teeth are a deal breaker for me- healthy ones at any rate.

Since I am a dentist, it would be a little hypocritical of me to be any other way!

 

I don't like super-straight, super white ones, I think they look fake. (cos they usually are when they look like piano keys)

 

Wonderboys are a little crooked at the front, and I think they look cute. But they are healthy- I have checked.. He was paranoid that every time I looked at them I was thinking about orthodontics..... as if! I love HIM.... the whole package.

 

I say you leave it for a while longer.

 

If he is as great a guy as you say he is, then that should be what matters at the beginning..

There are lots of reasons why they could be discoloured, and home whitening doesn't always work for everyone. He could have been really sick as a child- and that kind of staining is really hard to get rid of.

 

as McFadden says, lots of coffee will make a whitening procedure useless in the end.

And it is expensive if you want to have it done properly.

 

Maybe you could just start talking about teeth one day?

Everyone has a bad dentist story!

 

Wait for him to bring it up.

[sb129]

PS- I always always wait for my patients to ask me about whitening- I never suggest it to them if they haven't mentioned it in case they get offended.

 

Offending people is bad for business!

[doiask42much]

This probably sounds a bit stupid but I drink my coffee through those little stirrer straws to minimize its contact with my teeth. I think it helps? Dunno if a guy would be willing to engage in such affected behavior for the sake of vanity though. I think the Crest Strips are a good place to start. I've used them before and found they work fairly well, though they do produce a bit of a stinging feeling if your teeth aren't totally healthy, so maybe you need to figure out the cause of the brownness first. I think just mentioning that you are interested in using them (even if you're not) should provide you with some info though, as either he'll say, "yeah, that sounds good," or "i can't use those because...."

[McFadden]

Sorry for hijacking here, but his whole thread got me wonderin if I'm missing out on getting to know people because my teeth look bad. They aren't exactly rotten but they are dark and I don't like to go to the dentist. Maybe sometimes when I get shot down its because of my teeth? Any men's opinions on whether men tend to pay as much attention to those kinds of details?

[Lightglowabove]

Sorry for hijacking here, but his whole thread got me wonderin if I'm missing out on getting to know people because my teeth look bad. They aren't exactly rotten but they are dark and I don't like to go to the dentist. Maybe sometimes when I get shot down its because of my teeth? Any men's opinions on whether men tend to pay as much attention to those kinds of details?

 

McFadden, I think it definitely plays a part of what people think, until they get to know you. This guy I'm seeing is wonderful, funny, sweet, yet his teeth are brown and I can get around it....it's just that it would appeal to me more if his teeth were not brown. I'm not talking perfectly white at all...just not brown.

 

Why don't you at least go to the dentist for one treatment and see what happens? If you don't like the results, or don't notice a difference, don't go back again.

 

In the meantime, my friend offered advice about talking to my guy. She said to bring up things we liked or didn't care for on our first date and get on the subject of teeth....then bring it up. I just have to get my nerve up!!!

[justagirliegirl]

People do notice if your teeth are nasty. They think you have poor hygiene. You could get veneers.

[beautifulearth83]

you should offer to buy him gold teeth with diamonds in them. then it would seem more like a gift, especially if he's 'gangsta'.

 

word.

[sb129]

you should offer to buy him gold teeth with diamonds in them. then it would seem more like a gift, especially if he's 'gangsta'.

 

word.

 

 

 

Only a few of my patients have ever requested gold front teeth. I have always made them sign a disclaimer that they won't blame me if they don't like them!

 

Word up, homie.

[sb129]

Did you know that in Tonga, a gold squiggle inlaid into your front two teeth is a status symbol?

 

Now theres a use for all those abandoned wedding rings!

 

Speaking of tonga, haven't seen Island Girl around for ages. Hope she is OK.