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Does dating after being engaged really work?


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I broke up with my partner of nearly 5 years 3 months ago, after a week and a bit of being apart I got a text message from him saying that he still did love me and he wanted to try and make it work between us because he didn't think he could be without me. So I visted him that night of the text and we talked and we were going to try dating to see if we could fix our relationship. I didn't move back in with him but I have stayed a quite a few nights at his house with him (his house where i used to live to). I love him so much and I want it to work out but I am so scared that I am going to push him away by doing something wrong. I asked him last night if he still felt that way that he still wanted to keep trying and he said he did but I just feel like he doesn't. Why can't I just believe him. I love him so much and because of that I try to spend alot of time with him because I miss him so much and I didn't want to break up in the first place. he said he just wants some space and time out but it hurts so much, then to make matters worse he told me last week I could go to an event that is coming up this weekend, and last night he said he didn't want me to go, because it was his night, which i do understand because it is to do with the rugby club that he plays with but all my friends will be there to so it sucks because I want to go, but I don't want to do the wrong thing because i'm so scared that i will and it will all be over again and that is the last thing I want all I want is to be with him again. I know things were wrong in our relationship before, i just wish I could change me and make me not so needy and emotional because I get so upset trying to talk to him about things. Should I sit him down and make him open up to me because there is so many things I need to say. I am just so scared of losing him because I love him more than ever, i can't imagen my life with out him. I know I must sound so sad.

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You need the assistance of an excellent relationship counselor to help make this work. First of all, a relationship that requires you to constantly walk on eggshells for fear you'll screw it up is a relationshxt! Don't do that. Be yourself. If it doesn't work with you relaxed and yourself then you don't want to go through life with this person.

 

In my experience, trying a second time seldom works because the same dynamics that caused problems the first time usually enter into the mix again. This will take some very hard work and a willingness on both of your parts to bend and accept the other for who you are. You have control of yourself but NOT of the other person.

 

If you think you have issues that need to be worked on, get professional help. Even if things don't work out in this current situation, you'll come out of things a better person. What you describe shouldn't be to much of a problem to get through.

 

Sometimes, our deep wish that something works out keeps us in situations we shouldn't be in. Our belief that things will get better next week has kept some people in bad relationships for years....waiting for that "next week."

 

Get a good counselor to help both of you and advise you. Love has absolutely nothing to do with it. I love a lot of people that I could never, ever, ever, ever, ever be married to but I wouldn't kick them out of bed.

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Lots of people viewing my post but not many replys does people think i'm being pathic? Any advice or opions would be greatfully appricated.

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Lots of people viewing my post but not many replys does people think i'm being pathic? Any advice or opions would be greatfully appricated.

 

No.

 

Not a lot of replies usually means the advice that was given, after your original post, is probably the most sound.

 

I'd take it, if I were you.

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