Suspicious about "young" girl's phone number in B/F's cell phone.

[rose45]

my b/f fixes things for a living--i dont wanna get too specific..i recently checked the contacts in his phone and saw a girls name..a new girl..which i thought was odd..so i tried to bring it up and ask him directly..casually going through the pics of his phone in front of him and then his contacts and then i asked who is this..and he said oh its a so and so customer..you can delete it..i dont need it..it was weeks ago..i dont understand why he could the girls name in his phone or even place it there..the other thing is..after seeing this girls number--i actually called it from a private number and she sounded really young--even my friend agreed...and my b.f was giving me a story that she is 50 years old etc etc..i did delete--BUT you know--sometimes the best way to keep things a secret is to keep it out in the open..also he could have the number somewhere else or memorized..im not sure what to think..both me and my 2 friends says she sounds like 19 or even in their 20's tops..and my told me she is in her 50's...am i being too paranoid here? my one friend says it sounds a bit weird.

[MarinaAquamarina]

Never check your partner's phone is my advice. Never! You can read into the tiniest things way too much!

[Lizzie60]

my b/f fixes things for a living--i dont wanna get too specific..i recently checked the contacts in his phone and saw a girls name..a new girl..which i thought was odd..so i tried to bring it up and ask him directly..casually going through the pics of his phone in front of him and then his contacts and then i asked who is this..and he said oh its a so and so customer..you can delete it..i dont need it..it was weeks ago..i dont understand why he could the girls name in his phone or even place it there..the other thing is..after seeing this girls number--i actually called it from a private number and she sounded really young--even my friend agreed...and my b.f was giving me a story that she is 50 years old etc etc..i did delete--BUT you know--sometimes the best way to keep things a secret is to keep it out in the open..also he could have the number somewhere else or memorized..im not sure what to think..both me and my 2 friends says she sounds like 19 or even in their 20's tops..and my told me she is in her 50's...am i being too paranoid here? my one friend says it sounds a bit weird.

 

Well you can't really tell from the voice on the phone... I do sound very young on the phone and I am almost 55. Voice can be very misleading.

 

Maybe, if you really want to get to the bottom of this thing... call her and ask her if she knows 'your bf's name'...see what she say... or have one of your friend call... then if she says 'yes, he's been fixing this at my place'...then you can say...you're just calling for reference... See what she says...you'll get a vibe of what is going on.

[Tony T]

my b/f fixes things for a living--i dont wanna get too specific..i recently checked the contacts in his phone and saw a girls name..a new girl..which i thought was odd..so i tried to bring it up and ask him directly..casually going through the pics of his phone in front of him and then his contacts and then i asked who is this..and he said oh its a so and so customer..you can delete it..i dont need it..it was weeks ago..i dont understand why he could the girls name in his phone or even place it there..the other thing is..after seeing this girls number--i actually called it from a private number and she sounded really young--even my friend agreed...and my b.f was giving me a story that she is 50 years old etc etc..i did delete--BUT you know--sometimes the best way to keep things a secret is to keep it out in the open..also he could have the number somewhere else or memorized..im not sure what to think..both me and my 2 friends says she sounds like 19 or even in their 20's tops..and my told me she is in her 50's...am i being too paranoid here? my one friend says it sounds a bit weird.

 

I'm truly sorry but if you don't trust your boyfriend, you need to leave him. A relationship without trust is DEAD, GONE, OVER, DONE WITH! After this, you will wonder every day of your life what young chick he's got something going with. Accept your boyfriend's explanation and move on with him or don't and move on without him.

[rose45]

here is the thing..lets says my b/f's name is tom...my friend called the number because i wanted to see if she agreed with me that she sounded young..now this is a little while after i called so maybe the person is mad too..my friend said when the girl answered she did not say anything and then she said TOMEY? now either she has a son named that--because my b/f was telling me she has a son..or She was thinking this was my b/f calling b/c he has a restricted number.... this is what really made me confused

[rose45]

i am really nervous about this...my friend said she called the number asking for lets say tomey..and the girl said mikey or tomey? and my friend said tomey..and she said no hes not here, whos this and she said her name and then said can you tell him i called and she said well this is my phone..seems weird to me....

[LakesideDream]

Let's say, like, I mean, you are only telling a few tiny bits of your story...

 

Maybe you and your girlfriend need to like, you know, enrole in the Nancy Drew School of Detectives, you know what I'm saying or whatever? I don't want to get to specific though.

[Trimmer]

Well you can't really tell from the voice on the phone... I do sound very young on the phone and I am almost 55. Voice can be very misleading.

Yeah - have you ever hear (actress) Jennifer Tilly's voice? She sounds like she's about 8...

[amaysngrace]

now either she has a son named that--because my b/f was telling me she has a son..or She was thinking this was my b/f calling b/c he has a restricted number.... this is what really made me confused

 

 

How can a 19 year old have a son old enough to use the phone?

 

Yes a four year old can use the phone but wouldn't he be with his mom?

[rose45]

i dont know what i am not being specific about..i call and both me and myfriend feel like its some young girl..not someone in their 50's..havent heard a son pick up proving it is someone older...and when saying can you tell tomey i called(similiar to my b/f's name except some will just call him tom) she said well this is my phone actually.

[rose45]

can anyone give me further advice..not feeling so well at this point.

 

I know i should have waited longer to call today but i didnt and had to call and asked has so and so been fixed, is it working properly..she just says "what?" i then say maybe i have the wrong number--was your so and so fixed in the last couple of weeks--she responds no and hangs up.

 

I have done this one time before and if the person had it done they simply said yeah it was or somehting along those lines.

 

This is what made me VERY upset to the point i was ready to cry.

 

My good friend said--i should i have just believed him when he said its a so and so customer and not have called it in the first place because now im in a bad situation--telling him will lead to a break up..and she says if it was a girl on the side for a booty call--why on earth would he keep it in his phone under her name..why keep it in there at all? She said maybe it is a big coincidence and she thinks i should try calling her in a week or two asking for tomey and saying oh well he gave me this number, maybe by accident--do you have his cell then? and if its a different cell then maybe i should just let this go. She said eventually a guy cheating will come to a head, it will be figured out and things will change in the relationship most likely.

 

Am i and my friend being naive?? am i digging too deep?

[high_boost]

lets put it this way. if he hasnt already taken the car for a ride..... he's filling it up with gas. get my drift?

[rose45]

so you basically think i am being played for a fool?

[BlueEyedSarah]

The poor girl must be scared at all these strange phone calls she has been getting recently.

 

Maybe you thought you heard her say Tommy but really she may have said another name because your mind is all on this a lot that it may have made you mis-hear what she really said.

 

I don't see enough information to make me belive he is cheating, so look out for some more tail tale signs and let us know then we can come up with a conclusion to if he is cheating or not.

[rose45]

i appreciate that advice, but i didnt mishear the name

[PinkAngelStar]

I can't make a lot of sense of these postings, but why were you even going through your boyfriends phone in the first place? Do you not trust him at all?

 

It seems to me like you're almost trying to find something just so you can satisfy your own suspisions.

 

There's obviously no trust there, what's the point anymore?

 

You can't accuse anyone of cheating unless you've seen evidence. To me having a girls number in a phone isn't really that much proof, unless there's texts that suggest certain things, even then you can't be 100%.

 

I also feel sorry for the woman that keeps getting calls, if your boyfriend has done a job for her, it's not exactly going to look good. So what if she's young? Men don't just prefer young woman, sometimes they like older ones too!

 

I think you need to just ride this one out, either way.

[Aloros]

Whoa. I think you need to take a step back and take some real deep breaths. You're chasing shadows here. Tom, Tommy...these are real common names. I know a few myself. So just calm down.

 

So far, the only evidence you have is pretty flimsy. Are there any other signs that he could be straying? Inexplicable absences? Stories not aligning/changing with each telling? Decrease in affection?

 

That poor lady you've been calling...I wouldn't know what to think if I was her. If she IS a customer of your bf, she probably won't be anymore. And her voice? You just can't tell a person's age from their voice. That's got to be one of the most unreliable indicators of age. After puberty, a person's voice doesn't really change much. What do you expect a 50-year-old woman's voice to sound like? A wheezy old thing?

 

It's one thing to turn a blind eye, it's another to play detective because of the tiniest thing. You're making a mess of yourself, emotionally, and for what? You don't even really know.

 

Do you trust your bf? Does he love you, and do you believe him when he says so? Yes? Then go for a swim, get a manicure, read a book, whatever it is you do to relax, and be secure in his love for you. There's nothing less attractive than an insecure man/woman. If no, you need to get out of the relationship.

 

Unless you start finding condom wrappers in the garbage, strange lipstick on his clothes, he starts guarding his phone from you, or he stops having sex with you altogether, quit worrying! You're only going to drive yourself to distraction and sabotage your own relationship.

 

I really hope this helps.

[SueBee3490]

Rose,

 

Don't know where to go with this one - it could be so many things. Maybe she's an innocent customer of his or maybe he's seeing her - there's not alot to go on.

 

Also you think she sounds 50-ish - how do you know it's her answering the phone? If she is 50 or so, she could have a 25 yr old daughter. I guess if this is a cell phone, then more than likely the one answering is the "owner" of the phone but I've seen people at work where one family shares a cell phone so any member of the family could answer it.

 

Also, you said you bf didn't really come unglued or upset at you checking out the numbers/contacts on his cell phone. I would think if he had something to hide, he would panic when you picked up his phone and started going through it.

 

You must have had some inkling of a doubt so you did some investigating. I think other posters have asked, did you have a feeling he was cheating? What lead you to look at his phone? I know at one time you could do a reverse phone lookup but that is for home-based lines and not cell phones. I haven't done that since checking into my h's calls which was over 4 yrs ago. I think maybe you can lookup cell numbers but there might be a charge. I don't know about this so maybe someone else can answer that.

 

Has he given you any other reason to suspect he's doing something behind your back.

 

Take care

[rose45]

hey

 

thanks for writing back.

 

I dont know what to do...To further explain--once my b/f is done with the customer, thats pretty much it..the company assigns him jobs etc..so its unlikely he would see the same customer any time soon b/c that could be redistributed to someone else.

 

Anyway--it just really confused me..and my friend says i should wait awhile and actually call her to try to get more information and see who this tomey is that she is referring to by saying something along the lines of im trying to get ahold of him, he gave me this number maybe by mistake..do you have his etc

 

I have been with him pretty much every weekend for a few months now..not many has been cancelled or missed. There wasnt a night on the weekend where he said im too tired to come get you or not feeling well etc etc but i guess there are other times to get away with cheating.

[rose45]

im really worried...dont know what to believe.

[ahah2322]

gosh why were you even looking through his contacts? imo, i think you should just let it drop. you will just make yourself feel worse and its not exactly fair to your partner. im sure you wont like him looking through your things and all with the intention of catching him in acts of infidelity. it may be a self fulfiling prophecy.

 

by the looks of it, it seems like he still loves and takes care of you. it's pretty awful of you to suspect and check up on him like that. you've seemed to lost trust in your partner and your relationship and it will be a good start to examine where such thoughts originate from. maybe you guys can have a talk to sort things out. and please remember that your actions were NOT AT ALL justifiable. hope this helps!

 

good luck

 

debbiegirl

[rose45]

arent actions justifiable if you do find something odd?

[rose45]

i have more information on this situation.

 

I waited some time to call with a friend of mine. The girl answered and my friend said hi, is tomey there? this is jennifer. The girl then said no he is not here, this is my number though, i dont know why you are calling it. My friend then said oh im sorry, i met him a couple of weeks ago, is this his mom and the girl said no. My friend then said oh so joey is not there and the girl joey does not live here, i dont know how you got this number..and then my friend said well does his last name begin with a COA OR CA (similiar to that of my b/f's last name) and she said i dont think so. And that was that

 

My friend said it does not sound like she knows my b/f. She said even if she met him recently and received a phone call asking for his name--would you even think of this person and say he doesnt live here, i dont know how you know this number..wouldnt she just say wrong number?

 

Now i dont know if i should drop it or wait a week or 2 and ask if so and so was fixed again after not bothering her for awhile..if she says no to the question, then my friend said chances are he is lying but for right now, it seems innocent.

 

Write back, i know this is confusing and a lot.

[sandybelle]

how about checking his cell phone bill?

[rose45]

i dont know how i could get a hold of that.