Suspicious about "young" girl's phone number in B/F's cell phone.

[rose45]

should i make a last phone call next week or let it go?

[norajane]

My friend said it does not sound like she knows my b/f. She said even if she met him recently and received a phone call asking for his name--would you even think of this person and say he doesnt live here, i dont know how you know this number..wouldnt she just say wrong number?

 

So, this is what, the 3rd or 4th time you've called this woman? Don't you think by now she's wondering who the f*ck keeps calling her cell number asking for tommy? That's why she didn't just hang up - you keep calling and bugging her. At this point, I'm surprised she didn't ask you a LOT more questions, like why you are stalking her.

 

No, do not call her again unless you are prepared to be honest with her and tell her you found her phone number in your bf's cell phone and are worried he might be cheating, so you called to find out how she knew him. Anything else, and you'll just end up with more paranoia and unanswered questions.

 

This is just the latest in a looong string of threads you've started asking whether some innocuous thing or other meant your bf could be cheating. You are obsessed with this subject, and you have NEVER answered any of the questions posed to you as to whether he has actually done any cheating in the past, or why you are constantly doubting him. You obviously don't trust him, though he doesn't seem to have actually done anything truly suspicious, and you keep staying with him. Does he know how paranoid you are about cheating?

[rose45]

actually--this is only the 2nd time asking for tomey..the other time my friend called she answered and said it before my friend got to say anything to her and this was even before i would even think to ask for this name.

 

i have found suspicious things in the past to which i couldnt get full answers to and therefore just let go. This situation--i dont know what to do.

[LakesideDream]

Rose45, you are messing with forces of nature here. You say that your BF's company assigns him jobs. What happens to him, and his mob (mystery job, don't want to be to specific on the internet, with the 1.5 billion or so users).

 

If this woman figures out that your BF has a complete nut job for a GF, she's gonna call his employer and raise hell.

 

And.... since when did GF's, not fiance's or wives get the right to interfere in what could be a persons livelyhood?

 

If this guy had a pair he would kick your psyco arse to the curb.

 

You "need to know for sure" is the most important thing in your life. I've re-read your previous posts and paranoia is a major feature in your life. You need to see a professional fast about your current behavior.

[rose45]

I Dont know if i mentioned this but once he is done with a customer--he is done..the company tells him who to see, he fixes it and thats it. He doesnt call back for anything etc and if something does go wrong again, chances are he may not even get the same job again.

[LakesideDream]

Rose45, If you really don't know whether you remember "mentioning" that you typed "when he's done with a customer - he's done" both here and on the duplicate thread in the infidelity forum, you might take the time to re-read yours, and others posts.

 

If you have the capacity for insight, and the ability to be objective you will quickly come to the conclusion that you have already gone "off the cliff" and are hurtling downward at an ever increasing velocity.

 

Stop wasting time and visit a mental health clinic to discuss your paranoia. If you aren't real carefull (and lucky) you could end up being Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

[ahah2322]

i agree with Lakeside. you seem to be excessively paranoid and it will be good for you to see a psych. please do reply to all our comments and stop harping on this matter. let it go.

 

good luck and be well

 

debbiegirl

[rose45]

i had a guy friend call asking about what was fixed and she hung up on him..and he agreed she doesnt even sound old at all.

 

Voices can be deceiving but i just dont know what to think.

[Trimmer]

i had a guy friend call asking about what was fixed and she hung up on him..and he agreed she doesnt even sound old at all.

You have now been so clumsy in your investigation that you won't be able to draw any conclusions from any more information you get. She has been pestered so much by you and your "friends" calling and asking the same wierd, cryptic questions about "Tommy" and getting something fixed that you are now crossing the line into harrassment. Therefore you can draw no useful conclusions from her behavior or responses.

 

Voices can be deceiving but i just dont know what to think.

It doesn't occur to you to think: hey, maybe I'm getting a little crazy here? At some point I should sit down with my boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart talk about this and my trust issues, or if I can't do that, I should either get help (counseling) for myself, or let him go, because this cycle is not going to stop without some kind of a change happening.

[Myz_Heavenly]

Rose,

 

Is it possible that, if your b/f DIDN'T do a job for this woman, and that IF he IS seeing her, that he may have given her another name besides Tom or Tommy?...

[JamesM]

Rose, I am curious as to the outcome of this situation, too.

 

Personally, I think Tony said it best...if you have this much doubt about a number in his contact list, you have much greater problems than deciding if this woman is young or old.

 

First off, this could be a job he did. Has anyone asked her how old she is? I know women in their fifties who sound much younger, and I know young women who sound older. There is a Croatian singer known as Alizee who sounds older than her teenage years. So, older women can also sound younger.

 

Second, the girl answering the phone doesn't have to be the person he did the work for. This could have been the contact number.

 

Third, do we know for sure that this person still has the phone number? I get a lot of calls for a girl who used to own my phone and a man who owned my phone number before. I wonder what kind of trouble I am stirring up for them when the caller thinks that I am (fill in the blank).

 

What we have here is simply that you do not trust him...either because he doesn't deserve your trust or because you have trust issues in a relationship.

[love necessity]

I read your story and boo-whoooo!! How old are you? Like, 10.

 

If this "mysterious" woman is on your mind that much, then why don't you gather up the courage to call her yourself, instead of making all your poor friends do all your "dirty" work.

 

I think you are being seriously paranoid, like everyone keeps on saying. This must be one of your "crazy" episodes.

 

I think you need to grow up, and stop being so damn childish. Grow some skin. If you whimper around accusing your bf of cheating b/c of situations like this one, then you aren't ready to date. You can't keep him on leash for heavens sake, he's a human.

 

 

I think you don't trust him because your the one who can't be trusted. Ever hear about that? Geesh, I wonder what he must be thinking this very second?

[SoleMate]

No answer to your real question, but as far as phone voices go....I once talked to a man who sounded just like a hard-smoking middle-aged woman on the phone. Even after I found out, I could not shake the impression.

 

I work with an adult woman who I am sure is at least 30, if not 40. She is less than 4 feet tall and has the vocal pitch and intonation (as well as the physical appearance) of a 6 year old. Probably because her vocal chords are small and underdeveloped like the rest of her. It sounds a little surprising to hear big adult words and thoughts from her mouth when you first talk to her.

 

YES, the above cases aren't the norm.....but they are a possibility.

[ptylsdemon]

Rose,

Go to makehimpay.net. They list many ways you can find out if he's cheating, like anonymous text messaging. You can go to a free SMS site and text your bf, even using the girl in question's name, then wait to see if he responds to it. If he does, it'll come to the account you set up. You might want to keep the message very generic w/o a name and see how he responds to it. Up to you. Check out the site.

[Jasmine8719]

your being way to paranoid....unless your boyfriend gives you a real reason not to trust him then you should'nt have anything to worry about...if you two have a good healthy trusting relationship then it should'nt be an issue

[rose45]

jasmine,

 

the fact she said no to having so and so fixed wouldnt worry you?

[BlueEyedSarah]

jasmine,

 

the fact she said no to having so and so fixed wouldnt worry you?

She proberbly was stunned at someone calling her randomly and asking the question of have you had your so and so fixed so she said no to a quick reaction out of being scared.

[rose45]

i really hope you are right but even when i had a guy friend call and appear to be professional she just hung up on him.

[BlueEyedSarah]

i really hope you are right but even when i had a guy friend call and appear to be professional she just hung up on him.

I can see why she did that - She proberbly thought he was one of those people who call up trying to sell her something. My mum hangs up on those people too. Like the calls of "Have you had your windows maintained in the last .... if not we offer a great deal..." So thats why she may have hung up on your friend, especially if he sounded professional on the phone to her.

[rose45]

the truth is--either he is doing things that he knows i wouldnt like behind my back(cheating), doing minor things that maybe he doesnt want to tell me because it is innocent, or i am right and he is cheating.

 

I read threads where people see little things like this and ignore it and meanwhile things were going on behind their backs.

[BlueEyedSarah]

the truth is--either he is doing things that he knows i wouldnt like behind my back(cheating), doing minor things that maybe he doesnt want to tell me because it is innocent, or i am right and he is cheating.

 

I read threads where people see little things like this and ignore it and meanwhile things were going on behind their backs.

Maybe its time you followed him and sneaked onto he's phone more often to look at messages and call history and even see what he is up to on the computer.

[rose45]

well by checking his phone, i found this number in his contacts..sometimes checking the call history doesnt always work--i think he would delete things he wouldnt want me to see. Unless he just forgets one day.

[squeak]

Here are your options:

-let it go (doesn't seem like that is an option since this thread has been going on)

-always be vigilant and check call history/computer usage (seems very anxiety inducing)

 

Are things okay otherwise? Is he still present in your relationship?

Calls regularly?

Intimate life the same?

Any pattern changes at all?

If not and this # is all you have to go on.....it seems the fact that he said she was in her 50's and you think she sounds young means he is cheating because you think he must have lied?

 

If all else is okay, my advice is stop reading Loveshack, it can make you paranoid if nothing is up.

[MansPerspective]

Your situation is easy to resolve. But before I tell you, it's so apparent that you have trust issues with your bf. That's the real problem and that's the problem you should focus on resolving. I hate playing games, but...

 

Now, if you really want to know what's going on with this woman, it's simple. First, please stop calling this woman - your friends can stop calling her too. Second, bluff. Tell your bf that you had a long talk with this woman (say she called you) and ask him if there's anything he wants to say about it. But do not give any details about the purported convo you had with this woman. Just stay silent about that. He'll confess. If he's really good, he will claim he doesn't know what you're talking about. Just say ok and let it go (he'll eventually come around and confess because he'll start getting paranoid). But I warn you, you are going to find out stuff you don't want to know. You're going to get hurt.

 

So, my ultimate suggestion is to be straight with your bf. Tell him you would be hurt if he was cheating on you. And if he is cheating, that you want him to stop now and you want to move forward with your relationship.

 

Good luck.

[rose45]

i dont get your advice--are you saying you think he is cheating?

 

I dont see how telling him this lady called me is going to help..what if he really doesnt know what i am talking about or he knows her somehow and it was innocent and he didnt want me to get upset.

I dont think that idea would work...i open to others but i dont think this one will work.