Did i Fux up

[Glyde693]

Ill make it fast cuz its actually extremely long.... Me and this women had a little over 2 year relationship. The relationship we shared was always active physically and mentally, and things where perfect with us. The bond was rediculous, we knew what the other wanted before they did... but anyways. I've had clinical depression for 5 yrs, started in high school, and it was fine until last winter when my family had major issues. Basically i closed the world off to protect myself including her. Over the following 6 months, i made little contact with her but she was still contacting me, which i respected... i didn't leave because i didn't love her, i just needed to hide. We got together a couple times, and it stopped in march which would have been our 3 yr aniv, basically her giving up.

So now these past 3 weeks, heavier meds, lots of therapy, pro actions and im coming out and really want to go back to her. so i made contact and for 3 days we spent a lot of time together, we chilled, we worked out etc etc. When id look at her i could easily see that she still had her feelings for me but was scared, really scared. She stated numerous times she wanted it slow and i was fine with that. Then on a wednesday, her x (her kids father) and her and a huge fight about me, mainly due to their child. now she doesn't want anything to do with me, even though there are moments where she does open up.

I know that i pushed to hard recently and most likely scared her off even more, but when you know... you know... am i delusional thinking that the time we where together was real? should i pursue it? should i tell her that im always there for her (which i would and am) and just let it be in her court to call/not call? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, im getting tore up here. If you have any questions i can easily answer them.

[norajane]

She's freaking out because she doesn't know for sure if YOU'RE going to freak out again.

 

She hung in there for a long time when you were shutting her out. It's your turn to show her what you're made of - give her space, contact her periodically (not every day or every week - just every now and then) and see how she's feeling, let her know how you're getting your life together, give her time to see that you aren't going to suddenly disappear again and that her child would be safe around you.

 

She'll either come around or she won't. Either way, don't push her. Respect her feelings, and above all, respect that she is looking out for herself and her child. You are currently an unknown quantity regardless of her feelings for you.

[Glyde693]

Thats basically the conclusion ive come too. But the ****ty thing is she won't give me the answer, and i doing privater work and daydreaming in college have way to much time to think about it. WTB test out plz. But yea... hopefully me searching for an answer over the past week hasn't ruined what i could have had, and is that something i should appoligize for? and about me loosing it again, nah, over 6 months of being alone, you know what matters to you, and you know what you can cut. and with that, most of lifes problems leave

[norajane]

Thats basically the conclusion ive come too. But the ****ty thing is she won't give me the answer, and i doing privater work and daydreaming in college have way to much time to think about it. WTB test out plz. But yea... hopefully me searching for an answer over the past week hasn't ruined what i could have had, and is that something i should appoligize for? and about me loosing it again, nah, over 6 months of being alone, you know what matters to you, and you know what you can cut. and with that, most of lifes problems leave

 

You might know you're not going to lose it again, but SHE has no idea. Because SHE had no idea you were going to lose it before, not that you were going to come out of it in the first place.

 

She won't give you the answer because she doesn't have the answer.

 

You cannot push her. Be as patient as she was with you for all that time.