listen to my heart or not?

[Jmina]

Hi everyone

Okay i'm going to try and explain this the best that i can so there is a better chance of getting some opinons!

 

Its about love and instincts.

 

My partner and i broke up despite the fact that we are still in love.

the reason is because she feels it is not the right time for us and i agree. she has alot of unfinished business. we are both women. and she has never been with a man.

i dont doubt her love for me at all. i never have. i questioned it in a nasty email i wrote during a bad day that we had during the break up but it was all anger and i already knew the right answers. she replied with i never lied about loving you dont ever think that. she believes it is going to take along time to get over each other and she believes that we will eventually get over each other. i dont believe that we will deep down because it is so hard to ignore or fight this feeling that i have.

 

now that we are apart we are both trying to move on and are doing the right things so we will be able to be friends in the future.

 

now this is my dilemma

 

everyday i get a strong instinct that we will still be together in the future. i feel that she is going to go off and have a relationship or two, work and travel and grow but i feel that after that something is going to happen.

she got upset when we were first going through the break up because she thought i wasnt that upset.. i was devasted let me tell you, but at the same time i knew that we would be together again some how and so i felt happy still.

 

its been almost two months, and i still have this gut feeling. i also have a feeling that she feels the same but its much harder for her to accept it or listen to it when she is the one who has so much to do.

 

what i want someones opinion on is this

 

do i move on and be happy coz i know one day fate will bring us back together, or do i move on and ignore the feeling and say its just something all people that are in love feel when they have broken up from their relationship.

 

i dont doubt that this intuition is real. but some people tell me im crazy and that its just what i would feel at the moment but later i will realise that it was just false hope.. i dont feel that i have to tell you what we have said to each other to convince you or myself that she loves me because i already know...

 

i just want someone who has been in the same or similar experience to tell me to continue listening to this feeling and then what the best steps to take would be.

 

thankyou !!!!

 

 

Jmina

[disgracian]

My advice (from prior experience) is not to put your life on hold or dwell too much on what right now are very much fantasies of getting back together again. It may happen or it may not; nobody can say for sure. But it's going to be a bitter pill to swallow if you have nothing to show for waiting, months or even years down the track.

 

Keep an open mind, hold onto hope but don't let it dictate your choices in the meantime.

 

In the meantime, it's best to have an outlet of some kind to get some of these emotions off your chest. I've been in a similar situation and it's very very hard to think clearly about what's going on.

 

Cheers,

D.

[Love Hurts]

Hi everyone

Okay i'm going to try and explain this the best that i can so there is a better chance of getting some opinons!

 

Its about love and instincts.

 

My partner and i broke up despite the fact that we are still in love.

the reason is because she feels it is not the right time for us and i agree. she has alot of unfinished business. we are both women. and she has never been with a man.

i dont doubt her love for me at all. i never have. i questioned it in a nasty email i wrote during a bad day that we had during the break up but it was all anger and i already knew the right answers. she replied with i never lied about loving you dont ever think that. she believes it is going to take along time to get over each other and she believes that we will eventually get over each other. i dont believe that we will deep down because it is so hard to ignore or fight this feeling that i have.

 

now that we are apart we are both trying to move on and are doing the right things so we will be able to be friends in the future.

 

now this is my dilemma

 

everyday i get a strong instinct that we will still be together in the future. i feel that she is going to go off and have a relationship or two, work and travel and grow but i feel that after that something is going to happen.

she got upset when we were first going through the break up because she thought i wasnt that upset.. i was devasted let me tell you, but at the same time i knew that we would be together again some how and so i felt happy still.

 

its been almost two months, and i still have this gut feeling. i also have a feeling that she feels the same but its much harder for her to accept it or listen to it when she is the one who has so much to do.

 

what i want someones opinion on is this

 

do i move on and be happy coz i know one day fate will bring us back together, or do i move on and ignore the feeling and say its just something all people that are in love feel when they have broken up from their relationship.

 

i dont doubt that this intuition is real. but some people tell me im crazy and that its just what i would feel at the moment but later i will realise that it was just false hope.. i dont feel that i have to tell you what we have said to each other to convince you or myself that she loves me because i already know...

 

i just want someone who has been in the same or similar experience to tell me to continue listening to this feeling and then what the best steps to take would be.

 

thankyou !!!!

 

 

Jmina

 

You don’t want advice! I read this part- at the end of your note:” i just want someone who has been in the same or similar experience to tell me to continue listening to this feeling and then what the best steps to take would be.

thank you !!!!”

 

This is called pacify me or placate me but don’t tell me the truth.

Wake up friend.

 

Get some real advice even if it hurts.

[pureinheart]

Hi Jmina,

 

I think it's interesting that you posted this in the "Spirituality" forum....so I guess I will give my spiritual advice. First of all I am not judging you....I see same sex relationships/marriages as sin, I see the sin in my life also.

 

There are areas in my life that cause willful sin against God....if it weren't His grace and mercy I would have been off this earth many years ago or would look the age of 110.

 

Jesus loves us all and would like to see us come out of this mess we are in....

[Moai]

I have been in a similar positon.

 

There was a woman with whom I thought I would be with forever, and she dominated my thoughts and feelings. I could not imagine life without her.

 

Our relationship was volatile, but I attributed that to our passion. When things were good, they were mind-blowing, when they weren't they were horrible.

 

When we finally took a break, I had the "feeling" that we would get back together, and that this was just a blip on the road to our happiness together.

 

I tried to put her out of my mind, and continued my social life without her. Over time, I began to get closer and closer to a female friend. We started hanging out once a week, then a few times a wekk, and then every day. One day I realized that I loved HER, and not the previous object of my desire. And the way I felt about my friend was so easy and comfortable for a time I thought we lacked "passion".

 

Boy was I wrong! I finally told my friend how I felt, and her response was, "What took you so long?" And we have been together ever since. Ironically, the other woman showed up later, and I can't for the life of me remember what I saw in her--beyond her obvious physical attributes, which are considerable.

 

Had I listened to my "heart" I never would have met the woman I am going to marry. As in all things, the heart is very important, but the mind should control it. That's what I think, anyway.

 

I'd say that you should move on, as your former partner doesn't feel the same way you do or she wouldn't have left. Consider that. It seems your heart is causing some wishful thinking.

 

I am curious as to why you posted this on the Spirituality boards, though.

[quankanne]

Spirituality board: maybe it's more than just a feeling he's got? That it's fate or destiny involved?

 

When we finally took a break, I had the "feeling" that we would get back together, and that this was just a blip on the road to our happiness together.

 

I tried to put her out of my mind, and continued my social life without her. Over time, I began to get closer and closer to a female friend. We started hanging out once a week, then a few times a wekk, and then every day. One day I realized that I loved HER, and not the previous object of my desire. And the way I felt about my friend was so easy and comfortable for a time I thought we lacked "passion".

 

this is pretty similar to how I felt about the love of my college life, and I kept thinking, ah, we'll be together again. Meanwhile I met the man I would eventually marry, and gradually, I came to realize that what I felt for the first guy was something that was limited to a certain time and place, while what I've got with DH pretty much has transcended every relationship I've ever had. Which leads me to believe that every love relationship you have, you come that much closer to the one you're ultimately meant to have.

 

so take that experience and learn from it: grow from the love that you shared, but move on to where you need to be next, don't try to hang on to the past.