Passionate Lover Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Well... Plz read my other threads to catch up :S But it happend again and she was down for some reason wouldnt talk to me eventually on msn she we had this convo: She was down and i asked her best freinds to try and cheer her up and she said that after logging off, dannεalSays ? Rees says: eh? Rees says: I'm sorry ok :S Rees says: i jst hate seeing u like this Rees says: well ofcourse i do Rees says: I hate doing "nothing" I hate feeling useless when some1 else is down or in pain dannεalsays: you didnt get what i just said:S Rees says: nope :S dannεalsays: ]= Rees says: How u mean, u sent me summit and it didnt go threw or the one u sent me before u logged off :S danneal says: fi you cant make things better,she can't either,just leave it kayy i think we should go on a break for a bit =/ Rees says: i didnt get the break thing Rees says: Break as in us on a break? :S dannεal says: i guessed Rees says: What ever u want bbe Rees says: May i ask why? Rees says: Going through some stuff right now :S i dunno :S Rees says: im afraid to say how i feel incase i start an argument lol :S dannεal says: i just dunno what i want atm dannεalsays: say it Rees says: Hmm k Rees says: nah nvm dannεal says: oh so it's not ok for me to hide what i feel,but it's ok for you? i see how it is. Rees says: Fine ur right Rees says: Its just its hard coz when ur down ur dont like talking to any1 and all i wanna do is the oppisite. Maybe thats my problem Im too lovin and i just dont know when to give it a rest and im sorry if i seem like that dannεalsays: i'm not used to having someone..dont take offence to this but...as clingy as you Rees says: knew that was my problem think thats why Kaylee dumped me I can try not to be? thats coz i live so close Rees says : And its easy for us to see eachother Rees says: my strength is my own weekness... ironic isnt it lol Rees says: Well what ever u want ill try my very best to understand Heh... then she logged off Advice please i cant just shut off half my feelings to not be clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Well after a few hours of her txting me basicly saying its over saying stuff like, you never give me enough reason to trust you and i'v never give you enough reason to trust me. We rushed it :\ then when she got home from work she sent me a txt msg saying she loved me so much and then loged onto msn saying now i really know how much you mean to me and i dont wanna ever lose you. thsi si the 2-3 time she has doen this lol... not sure i can take much more its painfull Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Ok i went down hers today and she was really down and eventually she asked me the question. "Can we just be freinds" she said i will always be her best freind but im not sure i can i mean im the only freind she really has. ino this question cant really be answered but... Whats going on in her head? :S Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 She means she wants you to be her buddy. She doesn't want a romantic relationship with you but she does want you in her life as a friend. The decision is yours as to if you want this as well. If you say yes, then don't think that her feelings will change but start looking for other girls for romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 22, 2007 Author Share Posted June 22, 2007 heh.... I was with her today we went on a nice walk along the river and finaly sat down on the pier over looking the river and the sunset And the sun was in my eyes and she asked if i could see her i said no and she turned in to kiss me and we kissed and then after that it was like we were together again she kissed me even more while she was standing on the wall. She then grabed my hand and we held h ands as we walked to her house and as we sat down to say good night we kissed again and again.... i said i love her she said it back... So errr... yeah :S The 2 days after she finished me she was s till the same... still cuddling me lots and randomly punching me lol and tickling me its like nothing had changed :S But i was talking to an ex of hers he is a great guy and he is trying to help me out. Danneal is a very complex girl, she doesnt likes her space but she doesnt like boys being distant or clingy.... so im not sure what im supose to do. She says i was smothering her but i wasn't we didnt spend that much time together maybe 3 maybe 4 times a week if im lucky Can maybe i get some tips on how to not be as clingy :S Thanks alot! Link to post Share on other sites
Ciretho Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 I just went through something extremely similar to that although my story ended rather weirdly... Anywho, this girl was doing exactly the same thing to me, Saying she just wants to be friends and then turning around and kissing me. It was all very confusing and painful... (BTW she also said I was too clingy :S Go figure) Eventually after the umpteenth time she said she just wanted to be friends I snapped and said some things I regret, but by that time I had stopped caring. Anyway, i kinda killed the whole friendship and everything after that. That was about a month ago and now she's going out with this guy who she says she's loved even when me and her were going out, and that she never really loved me. I think if I hadn't of snapped, i would probably still be trapped chasing her, believing that she loved me. I'm not saying that this is the case with you but it is entirely possible, and you have to be really REALLY careful and guard your heart, otherwise things could turn out really nasty and painful Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 23, 2007 Author Share Posted June 23, 2007 I totaly understand and many ppl told me to protect my self but i can't and i'm scared incase i snapp at her, i mean i can't take her saying we are friends then going ahead and kissing me and holding my oneday then the next to affection whats so ever, it aint ever been like from the day i met her to now she has always been very affectionate towards me. She talked to her friend about me and he said this, i'll copy and paste it and she said he was right. Ben says: i see.... but clearly u still have a fair wack of feelings for him.. i mean to spontaneously kiss him like that... and to keep having him on the mind... i bet a tenner that u've been asking urself over and over if u made the right decision and on some level hate the fact that u did Ben says: i mean i know first hand that u really dont like the whole smothering thing.. well probably ever since me.... but i reckon u'd still be alreet with him, the kid loves ya, thats the only reason hes smothering ya.. i mean make sure he knows the reason why ya broke up with him.. give it a week or two or so, and see how ya both are... if ya wana give it another go then great, if not then fair enough u can move on. but after that night she has kissed me it looks like we are best friends again im not sure but she took the Best friends for ever Love you loads Rees (My name) and now she has just LVL Rees not sure why she changed that in her msn it hasnt bothered me that much but she really does mean a hell of alot to me. I'm just not sure what i should say or do anymore, Should i just go with the flow see where it leads or should i ask her where stand? But if we do start again i need soem advice on how not to be Smothery and what that world actually means. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 Shame no one is taking notice, i greatly need some advice... as i'm unsure on what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Ciretho Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 lol, yea no attention sucks. Lets see... I know how hard it is to protect yourself, I was also told that I had to, but i kept on running after this girl and looked what happened. In hindsight I should've guarded myself better, but still knowing what I do now, I'd still probably do the same thing lol. Just the kind of guy i am. What Ben said makes sense (About the reason and the letting things cool). I think finding out why she left you would help give you a feeling of closure, and might help you either learn and get back together or help you move on if thats what you need to do. But yea, keeping distance is probably a good thing to do, so that you can see how you really feel after however long you wait. It's easy to feel feelings and to convince yourself you have feelings when you keep seeing her all the time. Also you have to get away from the physical stuff (Like kissing) so that you can think with a clear mind. Nothing messes up a mind like a woman's touch lol. About the msn thing, maybe she changed it, not because it's bothering you but it's bothering her. She might be toning it down into the friendship vein again, and her changing the msn name would possibly show thats what shes doing. This could be wrong though, just keep that in mind, but thats just what it seemed to me. (I had a similar situation where 'I love you' changed to 'love ya', didn't turn out good lol) Link to post Share on other sites
Ciretho Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Oh yea, i would also like to know how to not be so smothery lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 hehe Thanx for the reply. Yeah i asked her this morning where i stood if we were gonan try again, she replied with "Lets just see what happens?" but i guess thats her answer for "not sure yet will u stay around incase i decide i want you" Or maybe its not. About not seeing eachother thats not what we are doing, i saw her 2 days ago and i'm seeing me 2morrow just coz she really cheers me up but i might reconsider, u see i'm scared to talk her about this coz she tends to flip out and take it to far... And now she took the Rees i love u loads out of her name completly. It's so damn hard to deal with Danneal she is just... so hidden about how she feels and its hard for me to then react to that. She doesnt like talking about personal things even tho she has told me summit that was very very very personal to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ciretho Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Wow, it's really freaky how similar this is to what happened to me. I don't like to say negative things like this, I do try to look at the positive side to everything, but this looks to me like it's just going downhill. The fact that she completely erased the 'Love you loads' and her answer to your question, it just doesn't look too good. Now, I reserve the right to be completely wrong about this, and nothing would make me happier (I always love a happy ending) but maybe you should prepare yourself in case things just turn pear-shaped on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 I agree i was suposed to see her 2day and i think she droped me for her friend Rachel who i hate for so many right reasons and now i think Rachel is trying to get some of her Chav mates lol to jump on me... so yeah Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Yeah i asked her this morning where i stood if we were gonan try again, she replied with "Lets just see what happens?" but i guess thats her answer for "not sure yet will u stay around in case i decide i want you" Or maybe its not. Don't stand for this from her. Tell her she either makes a go of it or you will walk. If she really wants to be with you she won't play these games. You need to quit being so afraid of losing her and have some respect for yourself. It might be hard but don't you want someone who wants to be with you? Don't you deserve someone who wants to be with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 Yeah i tottaly agree i flipped with her2day and we arn't even friends i guess i realised i didn't Derserve getting things throwing back in my face, used, wraped around her little finger ect ect i think this had gave me a whole new respect for my self and i aint that down about it. She hates me i guess that will make it easier to get over. thanx for all the advice guys! Link to post Share on other sites
Snuggle Tiger Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 heh.... Can maybe i get some tips on how to not be as clingy :S Thanks alot! Are you sure thats what you want? Do YOU think you are too clingy? Is it worth it to try and change yourself to become more of what this person thinks you should be? Certainly you can try and back off a little bit. But if being with her as a boyfriend means you have to constantly censor your desire to be close, then maybe its not worth trying to be with her. Maybe you are "clingy" because you are anxious, you know her mood is going to shift soon so you get in as much closeness as you can while you can. So here is what I suggest. Have another talk with her and make it clear that if she dumps you as a boyfriend again that it will be the last time, because it hurts too much. Between you and me and everyone else, that will not be the total truth. If she shoves you back into the friend category again, the next time she tries to kiss you, duck and cover. Back away. Tell her NO. Pour out your heart, dont be afraid to let your feelings come out. Tell you you cant - keep - doing - this! Do it about six inches from her face, look into her eyes. Cry. I'm not saying manipulate her, but show her the depths of your soul. If she starts the boyfriend treatment again, fine, life is good. If, later on, she switches gears once again and wants to be friends, then I suggest you start dating others. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 26, 2007 Author Share Posted June 26, 2007 Read my last post... We had an argument coz i couldnt take it anymore... :S And now she hates me. So yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
Ciretho Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Yeah i tottaly agree i flipped with her2day and we arn't even friends i guess i realised i didn't Derserve getting things throwing back in my face, used, wraped around her little finger ect ect i think this had gave me a whole new respect for my self and i aint that down about it. She hates me i guess that will make it easier to get over. Three cheers for respect! Sometimes things like this are put into a completely different light once you're through it. It feels so good to be free of someones control. Like a breath of fresh air. You're on your way to recovery Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 26, 2007 Author Share Posted June 26, 2007 Actually no, i'm not yet. Her best friend Rachel... i said to her u don't deserve her, not after what u did to her and now she is threating me saying if i don;t tell her then she is gonna get me some seriuos pain... threats ect ect, but i do tell her then that will destroy their relationship easily. But they both think that me flipping is because i want them to brake up so yeah thats the annoying bit. but i'v decided i aint gonna tell her and take the beating coz i dont wanna cause any more problems between them. they both REALLY hate me. Maybe i should tell Rach, Danneal is really insulting and hurting me :S Link to post Share on other sites
Snuggle Tiger Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Re-reading your post, now I get it. Sometimes you just have to carpet bomb the relationship, just lay it all out on the line and see what survives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 Heh... I did that... ...Just too soon :S Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 Well i cnt use this site anymore for advice... she found it and read everysingle one of my posts my head so mashed right now im not gonna post what she said coz i dont think she would want me to. But wow is all i can say, WTF is going in this world. Iv never been so uncertain of what to do in my entire life!!!! Lets just say the email she sent me was her saying she realised what she did to me, not aksing for me back just saying she's sorry :S If she reads this then Danneal, WTF are u doing to me? Oh and me saying " I guess we are gonna carry on like we are, i meant that as in, being together. I wanted u more anything i guess for once i give out the wrong signals. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Passionate Lover Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 Well i cnt use this site anymore for advice... she found it and read everysingle one of my posts my head so mashed right now im not gonna post what she said coz i dont think she would want me to. But wow is all i can say, WTF is going in this world. Iv never been so uncertain of what to do in my entire life!!!! Lets just say the email she sent me was her saying she realised what she did to me, not aksing for me back just saying she's sorry :S If she reads this then Danneal, WTF are u doing to me? Oh and Danneal when i said "I guess we're jst gonna carry on like we are" that was me wanting us to be together just me trying to be less clingy! I dnt no why i give u all my trust and love, jst dont know guess thats LOVE FOR YA!! :S Double post sorry Link to post Share on other sites
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