Pre-Nup

[TheSilentType]

How many of you would ask for one if you made significantly more than your spouse or had more assets?

 

How many of you would be offended if your spoused asked you for one?

[Touche]

I'd never ask for one and would never accept one. I'm not even going to explain it.

 

There are plenty of archives on this subject.

 

And in my view, if you have to ask, you'll never really get it. It's that simple.

[Woggle]

Any man that doesn't get a prenup is a moron and any woman that does not sign one is not worth marrying.

[Touche]

Any man that doesn't get a prenup is a moron and any woman that does not sign one is not worth marrying.

 

So my husband of 12 years is a moron and the fact that I would never sign one makes me a woman not worth marrying?

 

You're a sad, sad, man. And so wrong. You have much to learn. So much.

[ruby_gloom]

I'd never ask for one and would never accept one. I'm not even going to explain it.

 

ditto, touche.

[Woggle]

So my husband of 12 years is a moron and the fact that I would never sign one makes me a woman not worth marrying?

 

You're a sad, sad, man. And so wrong. You have much to learn. So much.

 

He got lucky but many men are not so lucky when their wife wants out and he has no way protect what he worked hard for.

[burning 4 revenge]

I think maybe I should get a prenup

[Touche]

I think maybe I should get a prenup

 

Something tells me that you won't ever have to worry about that.

[IpAncA]

Well guys I normally would say I'm not for one but after some recent family events, I think it might be a good idea.

 

Reason I say that is this "bitch" is getting almost everything leaving him with nothing. It's sad.

[Touche]

He got lucky but many men are not so lucky when their wife wants out and he has no way protect what he worked hard for.

 

Lucky? I don't think so.

 

I wanted out of my first marriage. But I took nothing. NOTHING, other than what I came in with. And I know this seems stupid, but my ex offered to put new tires on my car since he knew I was moving out of state (a lot of mileage) and my tires WERE old. Guess what? I said no. I wanted nothing from him.

 

Luck has nothing to do with who you hook up with, Wog. Don't you get that by now?

 

I hope I don't need to explain it to you.

[Lizzie60]

for sure... IF and only IF I ever live with a man again (I will never marry but might live common-law, but I very much doubt it)... I would definitely have him sign a pre-nup... I have investments, I own 2 houses, I have money in the bank... there is no way I would shack up with a man for a few years then lose half... NO WAY!!!

 

Everything I own is for my children one day.

 

I have no pity for people who lose everything just because they fell in love one day... and totally trusted that person.

 

If the guy is not 'smart' enough to understand that and to put himself in my shoes...then too bad... so sad... next.

 

...and I would have no problem signing one either... I am financially independant so I don't need his money.

[Woggle]

Right now a friend is dealing with a divorce and she is trying to get alimony and damn near everything he owns even though she cheated on him and left him. If he had a prenup he would not be going through with. With the way that women have a tendency to turn on a man at the drop of a dime and leave him and the way that courts look at women as victims I don't see how any man could marry without one.

[burning 4 revenge]

Something tells me that you won't ever have to worry about that.

why is that?

[Touche]

for sure... IF and only IF I ever live with a man again (I will never marry but might live common-law, but I very much doubt it)... I would definitely have him sign a pre-nup... I have investments, I own 2 houses, I have money in the bank... there is no way I would shack up with a man for a few years then lose half... NO WAY!!!

 

Everything I own is for my children one day.

 

I have no pity for people who lose everything just because they fell in love one day... and totally trusted that person.

 

If the guy is not 'smart' enough to understand that and to put himself in my shoes...then too bad... so sad... next.

 

...and I would have no problem signing one either... I am financially independant so I don't need his money.

 

I was financially independent too, when I met my H. In fact I gave him money to pay his college loans. But I never would have signed one or asked him to sign one either. We both knew we picked the right people in each other.

 

And actually, I agree with you. I have no pity either for those who have made stupid mistakes. I'm just not one of those people.

[Lizzie60]

[/b]

 

I was financially independent too, when I met my H. In fact I gave him money to pay his college loans. But I never would have signed one or asked him to sign one either. We both knew we picked the right people in each other.

 

And actually, I agree with you. I have no pity either for those who have made stupid mistakes. I'm just not one of those people.

 

Sorry but how can you say that you picked the right person? How do you know it will never happen to you? Never say never. Is this your first spouse?

 

Most women/men who got ripped off had no clue that one day it would happen to them...

 

So I don't care who it is... no one knows what the future holds... no one can say for sure that they will be with that person forever.. no way!

[Trimmer]

Any man that doesn't get a prenup is a moron and any woman that does not sign one is not worth marrying.

 

He got lucky but many men are not so lucky when their wife wants out and he has no way protect what he worked hard for.

 

Woggle - you started out saying "any man" and "any woman".... Then you backed off to "many men"... If we push you hard enough will you back down to "Well, OK, some men?"

 

Based on your life experiences, I can understand and accept when you say "I feel like women are out to get me, I can't trust women, etc..." and I hurt for you when you share your experience in that way. But you should be grown up enough now to realize - intellectually, at least - that your experience - damaging as it may be - is not universal. And given that, you should be gracious enough not to speak for the rest of us. I didn't get a prenup; I'm not a moron. I will listen to your experience with an open heart, but don't speak for me.

 

Back on topic: where I live, and in the divorce I am going through right now, my state defines marital community property as all property acquired during the marriage. Any assets you brought to the marriage (investments, property, etc.) that you owned prior to marrying are not subject to "fair and equitable" division - they stay yours. So, for example, the value of the retirement fund I had before we married still all goes to me when we split things up at the end.

 

Now, I did make significantly more than she did for essentially all of our marriage, and at the time, I considered every dollar either of us made to be going into our marriage. So whatever we did with all of our money - houses, savings - I have no problem splitting 50/50. That was my intention when I earned it, I don't see how, in good faith, I could change that now.

 

So given that, how would a prenup - had I executed one - change my situation any? Other than punishment clauses, is that the big deal?

[Touche]

why is that?

 

Why do you think? Same reason H didn't.

[Touche]

Sorry but how can you say that you picked the right person? How do you know it will never happen to you? Never say never. Is this your first spouse?

 

Most women/men who got ripped off had no clue that one day it would happen to them...

 

So I don't care who it is... no one knows what the future holds... no one can say for sure that they will be with that person forever.. no way!

 

Wrong, honey. I was with my ex for 9 years (on and off)...married for 3 years out of those 9. Even though he wasn't right for me, I know without a doubt in my mind that if I were a trillionaire he wouldn't have ripped me off...anymore than I ripped him off. We were both good hearted-people...we just were wong for each other over the long-haul.

 

Uh, to answer your question, so no. This ISN'T my first spouse honey. Yesterday was our 12th anniversary...that's the second spouse. I CAN say that I picked the right spouse. If I can't by now, then when can I, right?

 

Never say, NEVER? HA! I say never. Can you?

 

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! Ha ha!

 

I've never gotten ripped off because I never let myself get ripped off...get it now?

[KatM]

i would have no problem signing a prenup...as long as both people were equally protected. I have a lawyer friend who says that a responsible prenup protects both parties. it's one thing if someone comes into a relationship with a lot more assets than the other person. Then they are certainly entitled to what they owned coming in.

 

However if one person attended school and the other sacrificed financially to make that happen...or if one person's emotional/financial support greatly contributed to the more wealthy person getting to where they are...then there should be a more equal sharing in the event of a separation. I've seen too many women sacrifice to send their husbands through law/med school, putting their own dreams on hold for the other person, just to be left with nothing at the end because the guy thinks that since the paycheck has his name on it that only he deserves to benefit from it.

[Lizzie60]

i would have no problem signing a prenup...as long as both people were equally protected. I have a lawyer friend who says that a responsible prenup protects both parties. it's one thing if someone comes into a relationship with a lot more assets than the other person. Then they are certainly entitled to what they owned coming in.

 

However if one person attended school and the other sacrificed financially to make that happen...or if one person's emotional/financial support greatly contributed to the more wealthy person getting to where they are...then there should be a more equal sharing in the event of a separation. I've seen too many women sacrifice to send their husbands through law/med school, putting their own dreams on hold for the other person, just to be left with nothing at the end because the guy thinks that since the paycheck has his name on it that only he deserves to benefit from it.

 

that a pre-nup protects both parties... I think it's only fair. I see nothing wrong with it.

[lonelybird]

that a pre-nup protects both parties... I think it's only fair. I see nothing wrong with it.

No trust, no love:confused:

[Touche]

No trust, no love:confused:

 

Stop wasting your breath.

 

........................

[ruby_gloom]

Lucky? I don't think so.

 

I wanted out of my first marriage. But I took nothing. NOTHING, other than what I came in with. And I know this seems stupid, but my ex offered to put new tires on my car since he knew I was moving out of state (a lot of mileage) and my tires WERE old. Guess what? I said no. I wanted nothing from him.

 

Luck has nothing to do with who you hook up with, Wog. Don't you get that by now?

 

I hope I don't need to explain it to you.

 

this is the exact thing i have always thought.

 

if i were married and then divorced, i would take only what i came in with and what i had acquired for myself (ie: my personal belongings) and only for myself--not for the both of us.

 

all this fighting about who keeps the car, the house, the town home, the boat, blah blah blah--he can have it.

 

why would i want something that reminded me of good times gone bad? sure, it would have been my effort, too, but imo, it was an effort i would make for us both, and if we are no longer together, then all of it is irrelevant.

 

i'd seriously just pack my stuff, again: what i brought in and what i bought for me, me and me--and just go. i wouldn't care for the stuff, really. and, imo, pre-nups are a sign of distrust and i wouldn't want to start a union off like that. no thanks.

[Touche]

this is the exact thing i have always thought.

 

if i were married and then divorced, i would take only what i came in with and what i had acquired for myself (ie: my personal belongings) and only for myself--not for the both of us.

 

all this fighting about who keeps the car, the house, the town home, the boat, blah blah blah--he can have it.

 

why would i want something that reminded me of good times gone bad? sure, it would have been my effort, too, but imo, it was an effort i would make for us both, and if we are no longer together, then all of it is irrelevant.

 

i'd seriously just pack my stuff, again: what i brought in and what i bought for me, me and me--and just go. i wouldn't care for the stuff, really. and, imo, pre-nups are a sign of distrust and i wouldn't want to start a union off like that. no thanks.

 

 

If something happened between the H and I or he died unexpectedly, can we hook up? I think I'm in love with you, Ruby!

[lonelybird]

<P>

Stop wasting your breath. <BR> <BR>........................

Digging negative sides or darkness is NOT good thing. It's like a person has 50% good and 50% bad sides, many people choose to believe in the 50% bad sides, but in the end that's what you got. Hard to believe, right? BELIEVE go first, REALITY follow.

 

Can you try to find a 100% perfect person? No way. Human being are NOT perfect. I guess Lizzie must be very beautiful, she tested every married man, yet no one proved they are trustworthy:p. maybe Lizzie picked wrong guys