bish Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 But I certainly don't feel any pity for a BS who is allowing his partner to walk all over them...then they blame the OW/OM... in that case, yes I will defend the OW/OM. Then whether you realize it or not, you are contradicting yourself. You say you like married men and will not hesitate to sleep with someone's husband. You also have said that you don't expect the MM to leave their wives for you and you don't want them to. You also have posted that the services you provide married men actually, in your mind, HELP their marriage by spicing things up. If a wife stays with her husband after you are done with him, then she is being walked all over. Or the wife can divorce her husband and leave him. So which is it, do you want the wives of the men you sleep with to divorce their husbands? Or stay with them and be walked all over. Either or, you can't have both and stay consistent in your arguments. you already have a credibility problem being a woman that has no remorse for sleeping with other women's husbands. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Right now the timing sucks and as her son is ill, imagine that poor kid's feelings if they split up! It takes ALOT for OOD to put up with her H's behaviour, she should be commended for that. Hey, don't expect sympathy from Lizzie for OOD. In her mind, OW/OM are perfectly justified in making life a living hell for people like OOD who are trying to do what they can for their family. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I feel embarrassed as a woman to hear any OW say she's not got a problem with having sex with some other woman's H. Any woman's H. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Hey, don't expect sympathy from Lizzie for OOD. In her mind, OW/OM are perfectly justified in making life a living hell for people like OOD who are trying to do what they can for their family. I'm usually pretty good with the abbreviations thing, but OOD has me stumped. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 OutOfDarkness, OOD is the OP! Link to post Share on other sites
raincloud Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I'm usually pretty good with the abbreviations thing, but OOD has me stumped. OOD = outofdarkness, the original poster:D I know, gets confusing, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
raincloud Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 IWWH beat me to it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
raincloud Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Then whether you realize it or not, you are contradicting yourself. You say you like married men and will not hesitate to sleep with someone's husband. You also have said that you don't expect the MM to leave their wives for you and you don't want them to. You also have posted that the services you provide married men actually, in your mind, HELP their marriage by spicing things up. If a wife stays with her husband after you are done with him, then she is being walked all over. Or the wife can divorce her husband and leave him. So which is it, do you want the wives of the men you sleep with to divorce their husbands? Or stay with them and be walked all over. Either or, you can't have both and stay consistent in your arguments. you already have a credibility problem being a woman that has no remorse for sleeping with other women's husbands. I agree. Also, the infidelity forum is most often sought out by betrayed spouses needing comfort and valid help for their problems. It doesn't help when admitted OW are trying to give their two cents worth. Most betrayed spouses don't handle that well, especially when the pain is fresh and new. Likewise, BS should probably stay away from OW/OM forum. It is very hard to stomach some of the advice you get, when it is from certain people. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Hey, don't expect sympathy from Lizzie for OOD. In her mind, OW/OM are perfectly justified in making life a living hell for people like OOD who are trying to do what they can for their family. I think you are grossly misrepresenting another poster ie/ Lizzie, that I have read so far I've not once seen anything remotely close to Lizzie pursuing after the men she sleeps with nor does she condone interfering with people's personal daily lives, so please don't twist things around. A person who makes another's life a living hell is the OW in this case who insisits on calling OOD's husband at any time with no respect whatsoever for where the H may be. What also needs to be pointed out is the extent of the disrespect this man has for OOD for even taking the call in the middle of a family meeting let alone in front of OOD, It appears this guy has lost complete respect in OOD in his family in everything that SHOULD matter to him, so if you wish to point the finger at anyone you need to look at the disgusting behaviour of this man. It really turns my stomach. WOW I think confronting the OW is futile unless the cheater is willing to back off. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 What is it that OW wants? To win the "game"? To have "control"? Where does it stop? I am tired of the games and want it to all end, but I do not know where to go from here...I could go into much more detail, but tonight, I am just too outdone w/ my H's and OW's behavior and the games that they are playing w/ myself and our children. She probably wants what your H is promising to her so she is also fighting for what she feels it her right to this man....the real problem is your H is doing nothing to close the door on these women so they will persist. If you want it all to end you need to do something that will shake up your H for good.As things are, all you are showing him is that yes you are not happy with his behaviour but that you are willing to put up with it anyway. Give me one good reason why in his head he should feel the need to stop what he is doing? The moral thing cleary means nothing to him, the family means nothing to him, and the promises he has made to you are not resonating whatsoever so what reason would he have to stop? Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 If this man has more than one OW, then he only cares about his own sexual gratification, and the stroking his "ego" is getting. I think a MM like this is disgusting. He should be strung up by his "ego". Link to post Share on other sites
FireandIce Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 What is it that OW wants? To win the "game"? To have "control"? Where does it stop? I am tired of the games and want it to all end, but I do not know where to go from here...I could go into much more detail, but tonight, I am just too outdone w/ my H's and OW's behavior and the games that they are playing w/ myself and our children. They don't care about hurting you or your children. The OW only cares about herself and that's very clear here. She wants what you have and doesn't give a crap who she hurts in the process. I totally sympathize with what you're going through as I'm am going through it myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 They don't care about hurting you or your children. The OW only cares about herself and that's very clear here. She wants what you have and doesn't give a crap who she hurts in the process. I totally sympathize with what you're going through as I'm am going through it myself. Has your H closed the door on the OW? Link to post Share on other sites
believinZ Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 YOu should read my previous posts... I don't necessarily take the OW's defense...it depends. But I certainly don't feel any pity for a BS who is allowing his partner to walk all over them...then they blame the OW/OM... in that case, yes I will defend the OW/OM. YOU won't take any pity... give me a break. OOD is trying to save, protect, and honor her FAMILY... let me repeat HER family. Sometimes, in our attempt to do this as the BS we get walked on and please don't insult me w/your lack of pity, empathy or lack of it... don't even think that you have enough moral fiber, guts, or integrity to feel anything FOR me... Sorry OOD I know you wanted to stay on topic, but seriously... Your H and the OW are pathetic... if your desire is to work at keeping your family together... make it very clear to your H that HIS child and HIS wife ARE the priority and anything less than this will be dealt with... I suggest a marriage counselor if you don't already have one... H has to get a backbone and stop acting like a little frat boy(no disrespect to frat boys) hanging out with his little girl friends... he is a little boy pretending to be a grown up H and father and failing miserably at it... the OW is delusional and a menace and needs to be knocked off the high horse she has placed herself on... she is maggot crap... Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I think the OW in this predicament is getting permission from the MM(poster's H) to disrespect her(the BW). I just personally can't see putting up with a H or staying with a H who won't give up his doxies. I would kick him to the curb and let all of his OWs have him. Life's too short to stay with a guy like that. There's someone out there who will respect her(the BW). Link to post Share on other sites
FireandIce Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Has your H closed the door on the OW? Yes, numerous times but she won't give it up. He won't "tell her off" but he has told her to leave us alone. From what I've heard she will continue to lurk in the shadows until he leaves me. Link to post Share on other sites
believinZ Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I think the OW in this predicament is getting permission from the MM(poster's H) to disrespect her(the BW). I just personally can't see putting up with a H or staying with a H who won't give up his doxies. I would kick him to the curb and let all of his OWs have him. Life's too short to stay with a guy like that. There's someone out there who will respect her(the BW). Unfortunately, you may very well be right and it certainly would be warranted. It is difficult though when you have child. It just makes that realization really hard to get to. ArtCritic said it well... OOD at some point you will come to realize that you really are the one in control here. BUT, this is so much... SO MUCH... easier said than done! However, OOD you will get to a turning point... have faith in YOURSELF... screw the other two... YOUR son needs YOU and he'll possibly be better off. Just food for thought. z Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I think the OW in this predicament is getting permission from the MM(poster's H) to disrespect her(the BW). Unfortunately, it's hard to read it any other way. His unwillingness or inability to minimize or eliminate this kind of stuff (turn the phone off, don't answer it, don't rub her nose in it...) really tells a lot. So sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Hey, don't expect sympathy from Lizzie for OOD. In her mind, OW/OM are perfectly justified in making life a living hell for people like OOD who are trying to do what they can for their family. I never said that OW/OM are perfectly justified in making life a living hell for the W... but hey say whatever pleases you... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Yes, numerous times but she won't give it up. He won't "tell her off" but he has told her to leave us alone. From what I've heard she will continue to lurk in the shadows until he leaves me. Thanks for your response F&I in your case it seems like the OW is quite relentless and there is really not much more you or your H could do. The important thing is that if you feel like you have gained your trust back in your H no matter how much this agressive OW tries she will never infiltrate your union again. It seems your H is doing everything he can to do his part. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to tell her stop contacting me or else I'll get a retraining order....it's not extreme at all. If she doesn't get that it's 100 over you should have to endure her harrassment. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Then whether you realize it or not, you are contradicting yourself. You say you like married men and will not hesitate to sleep with someone's husband. You also have said that you don't expect the MM to leave their wives for you and you don't want them to. You also have posted that the services you provide married men actually, in your mind, HELP their marriage by spicing things up. If a wife stays with her husband after you are done with him, then she is being walked all over. Or the wife can divorce her husband and leave him. So which is it, do you want the wives of the men you sleep with to divorce their husbands? Or stay with them and be walked all over. Either or, you can't have both and stay consistent in your arguments. you already have a credibility problem being a woman that has no remorse for sleeping with other women's husbands. I am not contradicting myself... you just don't get it... simple. I have said that I don't want the MMs to leave their wife...yes.. I don't want them... I'm not in love with them... get that! The wives of the MMs I'm seeing have absolutely no idea their husband is cheating on them...so they have no reason to be unhappy.... get that! I said that I don't have pity for women who are dealing with serial cheaters, jerks who abuse them... and they choose to stay with him because they can't face life on their own... because of the children...because they don't have a job... because ...because... get that! Don't try to twist my posts.. .if needed, go back and read all my posts and you'll see that I have never contradicted myself... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I think you are grossly misrepresenting another poster ie/ Lizzie, that I have read so far I've not once seen anything remotely close to Lizzie pursuing after the men she sleeps with nor does she condone interfering with people's personal daily lives, so please don't twist things around. A person who makes another's life a living hell is the OW in this case who insisits on calling OOD's husband at any time with no respect whatsoever for where the H may be. What also needs to be pointed out is the extent of the disrespect this man has for OOD for even taking the call in the middle of a family meeting let alone in front of OOD, It appears this guy has lost complete respect in OOD in his family in everything that SHOULD matter to him, so if you wish to point the finger at anyone you need to look at the disgusting behaviour of this man. It really turns my stomach. WOW I think confronting the OW is futile unless the cheater is willing to back off. I know you don't agree with my lifestyle but what I like about your posts (I enjoy reading them btw) is that you're not bitter and mean... you posted in a fair way.. you don't twist things around... you post what you think 'cold headed' and not trying to stir things up or add fuel to the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 OOD, you have every right to feel that way you do and to be angry at both of them. That's right the twit too. But I forgot the OW's are victims...yeah freaking right. As long as they know their involved with a MM, their not and are just as bad as the MM IMO. This OW should leave him alone and find someone herself. But like IWWH said, she can't get her own nor will she ever be able to. Clearly she can't if she's barking up some MM's a**. OOD I'm so sorry you're going thru all this. I don't know how you can stay with this man I honestly don't. But like someone else said, stop having sex with him. You don't know if she has anything or anyone else for that matter. You don't want to come out of this with an STD and be reminded of how you got it. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Lizzie, Please explain the difference in how a man who lies and cheats to be with you is any different than a man who lies and cheats to be with someone else or many others. How exactly is a man who betrays a woman distinguished as abusing in YOUR eyes? That definition has yet to be explained by you accept that the W will not find out, but if she does she is being used. Explain this to OOD, myself, the other BS's and the women whose marraiges you are SAVING. What in your eyes constitues a BAD cheater as opposed to a good cheater? That will clear things up immensely! Link to post Share on other sites
Author outofdarkness Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 properly respond to all of you but am just not feeling clear headed and strong enough right now to do so. I want to thank you all for taking the time to read and post. I have briefly read all of the replies, but hopefully, I will be able to take the time to really re read and post tomorrow. Yesterday was a very bad day. Today was a time for me to rest and catch my breath..I do want to answer one question that someone asked..What happened is that he checked his work V mail while sitting in the meeting w/ me, and as soon as the person we were meeting w/ stepped out for a sec, asked me in a sort of panicked way what area code that the call was from..Rather a sheepish way too. He KNOWS that OW calls from this paticular a/c...He called it mabey 100 times per day pre d day. I don't know what sort of games they're playing...Mind games are hard to deal w/. My first thought is that he is trying to cover his own butt. The thought that she continues to contact him at all repulses me, and the thought that he continues to accept her calls repulses me..The thought that they communicate via work REALLY repulses me. I have NO way of monitoring these calls..I do NOT have v mail password, nor will he provide me w/ it and becomes angry and defensive if I ask to listen at random times. I am sure that there must be a call block feature...I don't want to get into too much detail b/c I know she and H have been on LS monitoring my posts...My pswrds keep magically changing as well my pswrd for one of my e mail accounts...They are NOT pswrds that anyone could figure out. I'm just sick of it...and no, there is no way out at this time, and he and OW s know this. He is a sick man, and I mean that in the true sense of the word... Thank you all again for the replies..Yes, even you TK! and thanks for the encouraging words and support. I will check bk tomorrow... Link to post Share on other sites
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