schnak Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I hope someone out there can help me out with this, please. My wife and I have been together since '99 and been maried 3 years today, and it's been kinda off around here for a couple months. I figured it was just because of the rotating shift that I work untill she broke out the big D word 2 nights ago, I didnt see it coming, I thought everything was going great. We always had the wierd cycles when I didnt have normal weekends off, but we always made it work. Needless to say I'm pretty devistated. Two years before we got married We were out having some drinks and i made a mistake with another woman(worst mistake of my life). It took a long time and alot of work for us to get past it. Every thing was great after that. The love was all around, lots of fun and smiles untill about the last 9 months or so. She got to be kind of distant, the sex life is about 1/10 what it was and I seem to get on her nerves alot. Now last night she tells me that she met this guy at work 5 months ago that she talks to and kinda feel twards him how she felt twards me when we first met. I know she doesnt have anything with him outside of work because she has to pick up the kids, and I know all her time's always accounted for. But she says that she's still trying to deal with the fling I had, but I thought we had already worked past that. She says she'll go to coulseling with me, does that stuff help? She's the love of my life and I cant picture one day without her love. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last on my mind before I fall asleep. Will someone please help me? Link to post Share on other sites
katiebour Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 ... She feels about him how she USED to feel about you? Meaning she doesn't feel that way about you any more? If she's not in love with you, you can't make her. Unfortunate but true. Everyone here has been on one side or the other of that equation, which is why we got here in the first place. If you are no longer the love of her life, I don't know if there's anything you can do about that but accept it. You know the old saying about leading a horse to water... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I know she doesnt have anything with him outside of work because she has to pick up the kids, and I know all her time's always accounted for. Dangerous assumption as it's very easy to get a friend or co-worker to pick up the kids or watch them at your house. Oftentimes, "I have feelings for someone else" is the opening salvo from a Spouse that doesn't want to tell you "I'm sleeping with someone else" right off the bat. I'd be on guard big-time, snooping through all calls, cell phone records and emails. You've been hit by one shoe - don't wait around for the other one to drop... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author schnak Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I've looked through all the phone records, and we pay her mom to watch the kids while we're working. So if someone else picked the kids up she'd call me because she likes to be in everybody'd buisness. And my brothers stop by the house daily while I'm at work, to make sure everything's alright and see if she and the kids need anything. I'm pretty sure she's not lying about anthing. Also she says she still loves me alot. I dont know what to think because she'll talk to me about spliting up, and fifteen minutes later she's talking about the new house we're thinking of buying and where we're going to take the kids on vacation next year. Link to post Share on other sites
Author schnak Posted June 23, 2007 Author Share Posted June 23, 2007 Actually I went back through the phone records today and there was a phone number listed as outgoing and incoming almost every day sometmies a couple times a day, that definately should have not been there. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Actually I went back through the phone records today and there was a phone number listed as outgoing and incoming almost every day sometmies a couple times a day, that definately should have not been there. Not a huge surprise . Have you tried calling the number and seeing who answers? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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