stop me from using the phone....

[Gunny376]

Gezzzzwhitttakers Mr. Wilson who do you think could have accessed your e-mail account? Especially if it were your primary and not your secondary like HotMail or Yahoo?

 

Come on Mel? Your way to much on top of your game to know where this came from. (A) From the OW or (B) some sick pyscho-friend of the (A1) the OW or (A2) the STBX? This didn't just come from out of no-where out of cyberspace? This is the STBX playing "f**k-f**k" with ya head! Some way shape, form or fashion ~ it will all lead back to the STBX.

 

You've got to remember! The STBX was in your camp once, he knows your weakness, he knows what buttons to push! That's what this is! He's pushing your buttons! He's in your wire, because he knows where your weaknesses are!

 

Snap out of it damnit! Toughen up! Suck it up! Show me some of that Spartain woman spirit you've got in you! I want to see some of that Aussie Gal that you've got in ya! Show me some "Spit and Vinegar" in your eye ya SOB! :mad:

[Melovator]

Its really not HIS (X's) style- 1) he wants everything to be smooth between us and 2) Nothing like his writing style. And if she sent it why would she present herself as a psycho loony bi-atch? Especially because it was a provocative email.

 

My work email would be easy for someone to find out, real easy because I'm a government worker and there's a great big global email list that ANY public servant can access.

 

I'm erring on the side of not saying anything the email was clearly an attempt to rile me up. I'm just really disturbed- like I need this cr@p!

 

Bugger this sh*te! This is just bullcr@p! I'm not going to go psycho- I'm not giving anyone the satisfaction. This is clearly an attempt to f**k with my head and try and create a situation where i do look loony.

[Gunny376]

;) Soooooooo~ That means you and I can get down and dirty with one ANOTHER?

 

WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOFRICKINGRARRRAH! :lmao: MOTIVATE ME!

 

Just trying to make your azz laugh and smile!

 

(BTW? I've got a THING for Aussie girls? )

[Melovator]

;) Soooooooo~ That means you and I can get down and dirty with one ANOTHER?

 

WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOFRICKINGRARRRAH! :lmao: MOTIVATE ME!

 

Just trying to make your azz laugh and smile!

 

(BTW? I've got a THING for Aussie girls? )

 

Alright it worked! You made me laugh and smile... though I am not convinced that I could ever be woman enough for you Gunny... even if I had my best boots and a whip!

 

So, couldn't help myself mentioned the email to X, and you were right Gunny, likely candidate is OW's ex best- friend and co-worker who had actually threatened the OW with calling me to "make her and X's lives difficult". He wants me to give him a copy if I get another and go to the police. There wasn't anything threatening- just nasty and not even directed at me really. He felt bad about it, which is probably why he didn't say anything when I told him his books had been packed up and that I'm moving all his stuff to the shed on the weekend.

 

I've really just had enough of all this sh*te and I'm tired of feeling like re-fried rat turds. He wants us to 'be friends' but that isn't going to happen, I'll be polite and 'friendly' but I am not his friend. Especially not if this is the kind of cr@p I get dragged into just by being associated with him.

 

I feel lonely and scared but that's the human condition right? I'll be good. Got asked out on a date today, didn't mention it earlier because of the email thing, by a 40 year old bi-polar guy on a disability pension who's living in a shelter (what a catch!). How did he word it? "You're a good sort love, not many women around like you, most are bitches, wannagetabeer?" (yes that is said as one word in these parts).

 

I politely thanked him for his offer and then declined his invitation. I think I have to quit smoking just so I don't get these kind of offers when I kindly loan my lighter to some random stranger and then nod politely when they tell me their life story...

 

Feeling a need to get drunk, really drunk, really, really drunk, but then I've been trying to organise to get pissed as a fart since April and it never happens. Universe telling me something something I suppose. There's plenty of booze here (X has a wine collection) but I don't drink alone.

[mourningMM]

You guys make me chuckle with your war analogies.

 

But here's a fact. When my X started showing signs of an affair, I stopped drinking at all...it tasted funny to me. Before that, I didn't overindulge, but did occasionally have one or two socially.

 

During the separation and divorce, more than a drink would make me physically ill.

 

Looking back on it, I think my subconcious realized that if I lost control the only ones who would get hurt were me and my children.

 

• if I got any sadder, I'd have hurt myself
  
• if I got any madder, I'd have hurt him and her.
  

 

So not drinking is really a control thing....and if you can control yourself, you'll be doing yourself a great favor.

 

Not easy, not fun, but hey you do have to set an example for your son to follow. You wouldn't want him to think that drinking is the response to a tough time.

 

luck to you (and gunny! :laugh:)

[Melovator]

You guys make me chuckle with your war analogies.

 

But here's a fact. When my X started showing signs of an affair, I stopped drinking at all...it tasted funny to me. Before that, I didn't overindulge, but did occasionally have one or two socially.

 

During the separation and divorce, more than a drink would make me physically ill.

 

Looking back on it, I think my subconcious realized that if I lost control the only ones who would get hurt were me and my children.

 

• if I got any sadder, I'd have hurt myself
  
• if I got any madder, I'd have hurt him and her.
  

 

So not drinking is really a control thing....and if you can control yourself, you'll be doing yourself a great favor.

 

Not easy, not fun, but hey you do have to set an example for your son to follow. You wouldn't want him to think that drinking is the response to a tough time.

 

luck to you (and gunny! :laugh:)

 

You are so right- I've never been been much of a drinker (this is by Australian standards of course- one day I will tell you all of the amazing story of how I learned to ride out the too-far drunk from a Chief Petty Officer... not that I have used this remarkable skill more than four times...) but now ehhh... I am physically much less of the woman I once was and no longer have the capacity I once had for drinking.

 

And already learned the lesson of drinking being an innapropriate response to a tough time- stepdad retrenched, interest rates sky-high... etc. etc. etc. Maybe that's why we Aussies drink so much... if its not drought, its floods, or bushfires burning half the country down...

 

And the control thing... so totally feeling in control of myself after the emotional horror of the past few days... X called to talk about the email thing again... and the conversation got around to his mental health during which I said "I think you have depression and have had for a number of years, you need to see someone and you should do it for your son if not by yourself... NO do it for yourself X, you need to become a man and grow a bigger set of testicles, stop with your immature masculine 'I do it alone and in my own way' and be a man who can see that the grown up thing to do is admit you have a problem and get help."

 

It reads so much sterner than how it sounded, the conversation was serious but the tone was half joking if that makes sense. Anyway... he paused, made a joke about testicles (hmmm... maturity anyone?) and said "Well these days I can't really take offence at anything you say especially because you're usually right."

 

He is a f**ktard, tragic and flawed. Close book. This ****e today... its like 'please be gone with your drama, I'm in the mood for a comedy.' I actually even feel cheerful about having no sex with anyone but myself... feeling fading... nope back again! Maybe I've just reached a resting point on the damn hill or maybe I've just really let him go... I hope that's it, I'd rather keep climbing the hill and leave him behind.

[Gunny376]

I am not convinced that I could ever be woman enough for you Gunny... even if I had my best boots and a whip!

 

:love::love::love:

[Gunny376]

You guys make me chuckle with your war analogies.

 

A really good book written by a Vietnam Vet (Quick read, about the size of your palm) is "Life Is War ~ But You Can Win" A Vietnam Veterans Survical Guide For Everyone by Tony Anthony ~ ISBN 0-9630973-1-X ~ Morgan Press

 

You'd be surprised as to how much it applies to someone going through a divorce. Most "chapters" are one page long ~ some of the titles?

 

"When the going get tough? The tough get going!"

 

"Go Slow"

 

"Gotta laugh!"

 

"Got nothin' to lose!"

 

"Check It Out!"

 

"Its gonna be too late then!"

 

"I been there"

 

"Yer Not Alone"

 

"Keep Your Head Down"

 

"Sorry Azz!"

 

"Scared S***less!"

 

"Righteous Anger"

 

"Ain't No Way"

 

"Ain't Never Going Back!"

 

"Tell Me This Ain't Happening!"

 

"We got to get out of this place!"

 

"Leave It Behind!"

 

"Men Don't Cry" ~ (Damn they don't!)

 

"Look It In the Eye!"

 

I carried this little pocket book in my back pocket for years. Its a handy~dandy guide for keeping it real. And while its very much applicable to combat vets, its a good and simple guide for the day to day.

[butterfly37]

Wish I could remember 1% of everything that I've read in the past five years. It's all stuck in there somewhere?

[Toolate]

Something really F**ked up is happening I've just got an anonymous email at work- from someone who clearly wants to upset me, X and the OW. It basically said she's obsessed with him, looking for houses, planning their wedding and that she had told people "X will leave Melo because she's a dumb fat bitch and then X will get custody because she's got mental problems." Basically that she was determined to get him and that she did but was still leading her H on until she was sure she had X. I have to see X in like 3 hours- I have deleted and purged the email- its clearly from someone who is disturbed but what do I say to X? if even an eighth of what this email said is true I'm bloody worried for him and for my son.

But I can't really say some anonymous psycho emailed me... What the hell do I do? This is just so bizarre!

 

That pisses me off. I wouldnt give this jerry springer crap a minute of my time. I am so worried my GF is gonna pull this crap when im over her, So ghetto.

[Melovator]

That pisses me off. I wouldnt give this jerry springer crap a minute of my time. I am so worried my GF is gonna pull this crap when im over her, So ghetto.

 

Exactly! I've had enough of this tawdry suburban drama, I've got better things to do with my time... like darling son has just woken up...

[Melovator]

So its Father's Day here on Sunday coming up- am getting X a new bag from our son because he needs one for work. We're going to his parents for afternoon tea so his dad can see our son. I think his parent's have now realised that our chances are getting back together are jack and sh*t and Jack's left town. But they like me and I like them and as hard as the thought of these events is for me I know I'll get through it. Christmas is going to be a rotter this year but X is taking our son for New Years' I've decided- he and the OW had last year together (son and I were both unwell and I told him to go enjoy himself at a friend's 'party'!).

 

Anyway, busy week this week with work, still feeling like I'm stuck in first gear in my life, like I'm doing everything I can to move forward but I'm just stuck running around the hamster wheel. Hopefully I'll build up enough momentum to propel myself forward sometime soon. I'm sick of crying in the middle of the night over a man who failed the first test of parenthood- realising that you won't ever feel the same way about your partner again- and who then didn't have enough strength, balls and insight to realise that this is the hard part and that you have to really work through it as a couple.

 

I've been realising that X actually has no conception of the future, that he fails to realise that one of these days, when I'm least expecting it, I will meet someone (because I do have some rather fine personal qualities and am not pig-dog ugly) and he will be a real man, an adult and that this imaginary future man will end teaching X's son by example how to be a man because X can't teach what he doesn't know. Its a thought that makes me really sad but at the moment its the path X is on.

[mammax3]

Oh Melo...

 

You're singing my song.

 

I realized the same thing of my "H". It still makes me sad, though. He wasn't what I thought he was. Terrific before responsibilities, not so terrific after.

 

he will be a real man, an adult and that this imaginary future man will end teaching X's son by example how to be a man because X can't teach what he doesn't know.

That's a beautiful thing. Totally the same in my sitch too.

 

You're awesome.

 

We'll be better women, mothers and partners in this next stage of our lives.

[Melovator]

We'll be better women, mothers and partners in this next stage of our lives.

 

You're awesome too Mammax! And damn straight we'll be better women, mothers and partners because we won't have to lug the emotional retards who fathered our children through the rest of our lives! (Thank god male intelligence is X chromosome based so my son gets his brains from me!!).

 

Don't know if anyone else will find this as funny as me but X was going on about how he wants us to be friends and how he hoped some day I could be friends with the OW 'because she's a really nice person' :rolleyes:. Nope don't think we're ever going to be friends and I don't think she'll ever be a nice person in my book even if she stopped world hunger and bought peace to the middle east!

[mammax3]

Wow! That is funny. Your baby's daddy is still in the fog? And it's a shame since he'll probably think you're being stubborn or whatever for not wanting to be friends. Yah. I know. I totally hear you, Melo.

 

That's good news, about the male intelligence. Whew. My boys have a chance! Lol!

[Melovator]

He's still in a thick fog yes, can't wait for Mr Reality to walk through his door! I'm friendly and polite with him but at this stage that doesn't extend to OW- him I HAVE to see, her I don't.

 

Went on a 7.2km walk today- did it in an hour and ten minutes I'm pretty pleased with myself and had my hair done- no more regrowth yay! Feeling like I don't need someone to hold my hand as I walk through life. Its scary but I need to do it regardless so I might as well do it as well as I can.

[Melovator]

So I went out after work had a couple of drinks, having a really nice time, relaxing- feeling good and this guy starts talking to me- alright looking bloke pretty funny, he's getting flirty and I think why not enjoy the flirt? It was cold so I thought nothing of the fact that his hand was in his pocket until he scratched his ear and there was the wedding ring! And my face must have very clearly indicated my disgust- but wait ! he then says to me "It's okay the wife hasn't wanted sex since she had the baby!" WTF!?! So i said "I think you need to have a conversation with your wife."

 

Then I went back to my friends finished my drink and left- only then to discover that my purse was not in my bag, not left at the bar- gone. I don't think the two events were connected. So I had to wake X up so he could pay for my cab home. I'm upset, he wants to talk to me, won't leave me alone- and I'm saying to him "Its nothing to do with you, leave me alone, how I feel is my business." But he won't stop so eventually I end up telling him about this guy and because I'm upset and half cut I end up saying something along the lines of "Why do so many of your stinking gender think its okay to just leave when we need you most?"

 

Needless to say the conversation didn't really progress much after that and X left the house to go back to where ever it is he goes. I know not every single man on this planet is an emotionally stunted juvenile f**ktard but right now I want nothing to do with any of you outie-bits people- except my son who will be raised to be respectful of his relationships and himself. I'm really... pissed off right now.

[Ladyjane14]

What a turd.

You should've asked to borrow his cell phone, scrolled down to the home number, and chatted up his WIFE. :p:p

 

On the bright side... it sounds like your STBX had his tail wedged firmly between his legs when he scooted out the door, so here's an "Atta-girl Ten Bunny Salute".......

:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny:

[mammax3]

That's terrible, Melo. It would have been hard for me to only say "Talk to your wife"! I think it would have been hard for me not to deck him! Let him explain it to his wife!

 

Wow. And then to tell your X, and him just slink off.

 

I'm reading a book right now Raising a Son and there's a chapter about parenting together. This author's take is that fathers who were never 'brought' into the world of men end up like our x's. These men don't understand what it's like to be a Man (an alpha, from what I've gathered from Gunny's posts) or a positive father. In a way I think this author's right. Most men have had negative father models (as well as men) and don't know how to interact with a woman as an equal, as a partner - these men expect their partners to be their mothers still. This book says that these 'boys' need to be brought into the world of men and this often doesn't happen until they're in their 40's!

 

I'm lookin' for an older man next time!

 

How can we guard our sons against this? Choose an alpha male for our next partner or find a mentor. Or, have our exes man up and figure themselves out so they can 'take' our sons to the 'world of men'.

 

Interesting thought, though.

[Gunny376]

That's terrible, Melo. It would have been hard for me to only say "Talk to your wife"! I think it would have been hard for me not to deck him! Let him explain it to his wife!

 

Wow. And then to tell your X, and him just slink off.

 

I'm reading a book right now Raising a Son and there's a chapter about parenting together. This author's take is that fathers who were never 'brought' into the world of men end up like our x's. These men don't understand what it's like to be a Man (an alpha, from what I've gathered from Gunny's posts) or a positive father. In a way I think this author's right. Most men have had negative father models (as well as men) and don't know how to interact with a woman as an equal, as a partner - these men expect their partners to be their mothers still. This book says that these 'boys' need to be brought into the world of men and this often doesn't happen until they're in their 40's!

 

I'm lookin' for an older man next time!

 

How can we guard our sons against this? Choose an alpha male for our next partner or find a mentor. Or, have our exes man up and figure themselves out so they can 'take' our sons to the 'world of men'.

 

Interesting thought, though.

 

Teach them !

 

Integrity ~ Any and everything you say and do is nothing but the plain un-varnished truth~ the plain un-adorned fact

 

Knowledge ~ A lifetime prusuit. Identify your weakness and seek to overcome them. Constantly seek to learn something new about yourself, about your world, your life, about science each and every day of your life for the rest of your life! If your not learning ~ your dying ~ at first mentally and then physically!

 

Courage ~ This comes in two forms ~ physical and moral. I taught my son how to swim when he was two years old. Now he's like a fish in the water. I taught him to climb trees when he was three. Now he climbs sixty foot electrical towers. I taught him if he's in a tight place and feels fear to recognize it and deal with it. And to then get control of it. I taught him that positive action oven though it might be wrong is better than a half hearted attempt on the best possible one.

 

As for moral courage? I taught him to know what's righ and stand up for it! I told him, "You know right from wrong! It was written upon the heart the day you were born! Not by me ~ but by God! Just do the right thing!You know what that is in your heart of hearts!"

 

The "Ten Commandments" are still a pretty good set of regulations and they haven't published a "change" nor an addmendum to them in over four or five thousand years!

 

I taught my son, (and daughter) when you're wrong ~ admit it. Everybody makes mistakes now and then. The trick is to not make the same one twice!

 

I taught them ~ "I made a mistake, I was wrong ~ it won't happen again!" I taught them to fix the problem ~ not the blame. I taught them that for every finger they point at someone else ~ they should first look at the three they've got at themselves.

 

I taught them that if they're in a leadership or managerial position ~ that they should first look toward where they failed their "people" before looking at where there people failed them!

 

I taught them to "praise in public" and to reprimend in private!

 

Devisiveness ~ Get the facts, all of them. Make up you mind when you've weighed them out! Then make a decision in a clear, confident manner. Say what you mean, and mean what you say! Make up your mind in time to prevent the problems from becoming bigger!

 

Dependability ~ Get the job done regardless of how hard or how difficult. Life's hard ~ get use to it! Suck it up and do the best you can with what you have!

 

Always be on time, never make excuses, and stay hot on the job until its done, no matter what, no matter what it takes! On board when needed, and out of the way when not!

 

Duty to God, Country, and family means you make peronsal scarifices!

 

Initiative ~ Think ahead! Stay mentally and physically alert ~ "This ain't no freaking game!" Look around! If you see a job that needs doing then by God ~ DO IT! Don't wait to be told! Do what you can ~ use the means at hand! Think ahead and your azz will stay ahead!

 

Tact ~ Doing the right thing at the right time! Saying the right thing at the right time! It embraces courtesy, but it goes much further!

 

Its the "Golden Rule" ~ consideration for others! Its treating others the way your azz would want to be treated if they were you. Be it as the President of the United States or working behind the counter at McDonalds! Its treating people with dignity

 

Justice ~ Don't play favorites, keep anger and emotions out of your decisions. Get rid of any and all vies which you may have about a particular race, creed, or section of society! Judge people by who they are ~ not what the are! Give everyone a chance to prove themselves! You might surprise yourself! Help those that fall short of your standards, but keep your standards high!

 

Enthusiam ~ Get freaking fired up about your life! Life is for living! Life is for laughing! Life is for learning ~ for growing!

 

Bearing ~ Enough said! Get a belt and pull your pants up! I don't want to see your thong nor boxers! How you walk and talk, makes all the difference!

 

Endurance ~ The way you live your life now will determine how long and how you live life years from now! Get off the damn couch! Get out there and get "physical"

 

Unselfishness ~ You let others go first and be happy with what you get! That's why hotdog buns come in packages of ten, and hotdogs come in packages of eight! Accept that? Accept what life gives you ~ hands you? You're azz can always have a hotdog!

 

 

These are just some of the things that you soon to be single Mom's' with Son's should be treaching your sons! (And Daughters)

 

You can do it.

 

And instead of just reading them bedside stories out of Grimm'a Fairytales, you shoudl be teaching them about men such as Abe Lincolon (Hate the SOB, but his story is worth reading!) and Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee (You really need to read about this guy ~ He's the ultimate man!)

 

Get them into sports, and into "Scouting" (Most Scoutmasters are 99% about scouting ~ but there are some preditors out there! So be aware!)

 

Seriously get a book on Robert E. Lee ~ the man was awesome!

[Melovator]

LadyJane:

:lmao: "Hi honey, your husband here says you haven't been interested in sex since the baby but that's really just because you're too tired to fake it for the selfish dud root right? Why don't I come over and clean your house and then give you oral sex for an hour?"

 

I'm a hetero girl but I don't think I could turn down an offer like that!

 

As for X who knows? He was very polite today, actually he's polite most of the time, his mother did teach him manners. Though he couldn't help gloating that he knew I was PMS'ing- because that 'explains' why I was the way I was for the last couple of days! He's still upset that I didn't see him when we met to pick up son after work the other night- "Didn't you see me on the street?" and of course tired, hormonal Melo goes "No I didn't X, I don't look for you anymore."

 

I was real pissy when I said it, I apologised at the time for the tone but not the content. He offered to watch our son if I wanted to go out tonight because last night was crap but little one has caught another round of gastro from childcare- if he pukes up one more time I have no dry clean sheets left for him! my poor little man...

 

mammax

You know what's weird? I was just thinking late last night- no guys under 35, 40 sounds good.

 

I've realised that I probably would not have thought as hard as I have about the sort of man/ person I want my son to be if this hadn't happened with X. And that's actually a really good thing- not a bad thing at all. I thought about it before, but now I'm really thinking about it because I have this much greater awareness that it is up to this little duck to do the job properly... there's no letting down assuming someone else will pick up that slack.

 

Gunny

Thanks for that I'm going to print it out for reference!

 

Integrity ~ Any and everything you say and do is nothing but the plain un-varnished truth~ the plain un-adorned fact

 

(Unless you're Australian then you're allowed a little bit of 'bullsh*ttin' just to scare the tourists!)

 

And instead of just reading them bedside stories out of Grimm'a Fairytales, you shoudl be teaching them about men such as Abe Lincolon (Hate the SOB, but his story is worth reading!) and Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee (You really need to read about this guy ~ He's the ultimate man!)

 

My son has a book on his shelf in his room bought by X just after he was born full of writings by one of the U.S founding fathers that my son is partially named for (and didn't we cop stick from some people for that downunder!) He bought that book and chose that name because he believed/s??? in the great and incredible things that man had to say. I find it difficult still to reconcile X's strong belief in the dignity and rights of people as individuals and his ardent defence of them, with his actions towards... well our son and I.

 

So I thought in X my son was safe against the old adage "girls learn to be women from their mothers, boys learn to be men from other boys." I guess under these circumstances I have to do my absolute best as his mother to teach him how to be a man, including being the one who reads from the book his father bought him!

[Gunny376]

My son has a book on his shelf in his room bought by X just after he was born full of writings by one of the U.S founding fathers that my son is partially named for (and didn't we cop stick from some people for that downunder!) He bought that book and chose that name because he believed/s??? in the great and incredible things that man had to say. I find it difficult still to reconcile X's strong belief in the dignity and rights of people as individuals and his ardent defence of them, with his actions towards... well our son and I.

 

So I thought in X my son was safe against the old adage "girls learn to be women from their mothers, boys learn to be men from other boys." I guess under these circumstances I have to do my absolute best as his mother to teach him how to be a man, including being the one who reads from the book his father bought him!

 

 

I read a lot, and have a lot of books, and am a hugh history buff.

 

Actually, some of the strongest, toughest men in history were more influnced by their mothers than their fathers. The underlinging theme? Letting their mothers down and disappointing them.

 

Although I was abandoned by my own mother at age six, I was raised by my grandmother. She was and always has been a tremendous influence in my life that has guided me through life.

 

She taught me early on, that life is tough, and to suck it up and deal with it! To be coureteous, respetful, and mind my manners. That life isn't fair ~ deal with it! To treat others the way I wanted to be treated. To not judge others ~ "But by the Grace of God, there go I!!"

 

The role women play in men's formative years is hugh!

[Melovator]

I read a lot, and have a lot of books, and am a hugh history buff.

 

Actually, some of the strongest, toughest men in history were more influnced by their mothers than their fathers. The underlinging theme? Letting their mothers down and disappointing them.

 

Although I was abandoned by my own mother at age six, I was raised by my grandmother. She was and always has been a tremendous influence in my life that has guided me through life.

 

She taught me early on, that life is tough, and to suck it up and deal with it! To be coureteous, respetful, and mind my manners. That life isn't fair ~ deal with it! To treat others the way I wanted to be treated. To not judge others ~ "But by the Grace of God, there go I!!"

 

The role women play in men's formative years is hugh!

 

Sounds like my Nanna- "Are you starving in Africa? Having bombs dropped on you? Then its not that bad- have a cup tea and do your dishes!" My Nanna kept my mother going after my parent's divorce and I always respected her because my mother can talk the talk but she can't even crawl let alone do the walk, whereas Nanna is 90% walk/ 10% talk. Its what you do that counts not what you say.

 

X is huge history buff but I was the one who read all the books (which pissed me off when I was packing- this is his but he's never even read it!) And when you think how historically men were always 'going away', wars being a big one, hunting, exploring, working, women have always been the ones there in the formative years of a boy's life (which is why we get blamed when you don't turn out right- though I'm not blaming X's mother- he's a big boy he knew he was being lower than pond scum and his mother certainly didn't teach him that).

 

So its Father's Day here today, which is making me think about all of this raising boys stuff, X like last year- is spending half the day working. Which I'm not annoyed over just sad for my son and X (he bleats about feeling like a 'bad' father- looks to ME for reassurance that he's not- then keeps doing what's making him feel bad in the first place!?), my boy is sick and just wants mum anyway.

 

Been reading Susan Jeffers 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' while son lies on couch watching bloody Nemo again- its a good book, and I can see that so many other writers have ripped her off over the years. Feeling very "yes this is my universe"! this morning, puke on my socks and all... better go change them. Thanks all!

[Melovator]

So this and earlier Gunny post on myluck35's thread about meeting the OW got me thinking... amid the fountains of vomit and other bodily fluids that gastro causes to gush forth...

 

You guys need to dump the "stress pack" and put on the "life pack" as in your life! You guys need to get excited about your life! You guys need to forget about these losers that left you for someone else!

 

They're all left because they couldn't tote the note!

 

They're not freaking worthy of you! They left, because they couldn't "hack it" Just that freaking plain and just that freaking simple.

 

Whatever they've got to offer you? You can find just as

goodif not better down the road with someone else you'll will be in awe of the simplest things about you. Who will be all: "Where have you been all my life!"

 

 

The recipie to a succesful relationship and long marriage? Here it is!

 

Acquaintences to friends! (Talk, talk, talk)

 

Friends to best friends! (Talk, talk, talk + laugh at each other) Best friends to best of friends (talk, talk, talk laugh at each other and laugh with each other ~

 

Then to exclusive best friends! (Talk. talk, talk, laugh at each other, you be yourself, accept me for who I am, I accept you craziness, you accept mine

 

Then best lovers! (still NO sex!)

 

The goal?

 

You're my best friend! You know me! You understand me!

 

The goal?

 

You're my best friend that loves and understands ME!

 

I actually am very excited about my life and its in the doing and I've been doing gastro clean-up and coping for four days now. So either I've gone all loopy from disinfectant fumes... or something is finally clicking into gear mentally. What I've got right now is my life and its not so bad, in fact its bloody good.

 

And with X it is as simple as he 'couldn't tote the note', and I've realised that there were other times in our twenties where I was waiting for him to 'catch up' in the becoming a grown up, being a person way. But, I always found it hard to acknowledge that because outwardly- the face he presented to the world- he was the always the more grown up than I.

 

And I look back at what seemed like aimless meandering and paths started down but not finished in my twenties and realised they all happened as they were supposed to. I got to where I was meant to be, not where I thought I was meant to be. And surprisingly haven't ended up all that far from what my pre-X (ie 17 year old) self imagined she wanted to be at my age. But that meandering also gave me opportunities to grow as a person, what I didn't finish (ie that law degree- does the world need any more damn lawyers anyway?) is just as important as what I did, more important actually because I learned more from that stuff.

 

I always underestimated the value of the winding path, thought that it made me lesser because I hadn't honed in on exactly what I wanted to do and gone straight for it. But its actually an advantage I think now.

 

And whatever cr@p's happening in my life now, its still my life, its in my control how I see it and I choose to laugh while dripping head to toe in toddler vomit ( I literally did laugh- then gag- then laughed some more).

 

And your recipe for a successful relationship and long marriage Gunny- that's really what i want. I didn't just give my virginity away to any d@mn one (even if 14 years later he turned out to be f**ktard) why would I disrespect myself in a sexual sense now? Or anymore than I had been by continuing to sleep with X... I try to intellectualise and be all cool about it but at the end of the day I don't think i can really do 'casual sex' if such a thing really exists... why would I want to turn what should be an emotional act into just a pleasant way to scratch of an itch? (But in a week or so I may feel differently- I'm a bit up/ down on this depending on my hormones/ mood.)

 

It doesn' t help that even when I've been spewie lady for six hours X still wants sex (he came here to watch our son while I was sick and then he got sick too) - I told him I was too tired to even think about, he replied that asking was about as much as he could manage. (I file this sort of thing mentally as: X is a man, men always want sex). No I haven't had sex with him recently. I'm being a very good girl. So good I can hear convent bells...

 

This reply was much better but my cat knocked my cords and I lost some sparkling gems of thoughts, now I'm too tired to get them back.

[Gunny376]

So this and earlier Gunny post on myluck35's thread about meeting the OW got me thinking... amid the fountains of vomit and other bodily fluids that gastro causes to gush forth...

 

 

 

I actually am very excited about my life and its in the doing and I've been doing gastro clean-up and coping for four days now. So either I've gone all loopy from disinfectant fumes... or something is finally clicking into gear mentally. What I've got right now is my life and its not so bad, in fact its bloody good.

 

And with X it is as simple as he 'couldn't tote the note', and I've realised that there were other times in our twenties where I was waiting for him to 'catch up' in the becoming a grown up, being a person way. But, I always found it hard to acknowledge that because outwardly- the face he presented to the world- he was the always the more grown up than I.

 

And I look back at what seemed like aimless meandering and paths started down but not finished in my twenties and realised they all happened as they were supposed to. I got to where I was meant to be, not where I thought I was meant to be. And surprisingly haven't ended up all that far from what my pre-X (ie 17 year old) self imagined she wanted to be at my age. But that meandering also gave me opportunities to grow as a person, what I didn't finish (ie that law degree- does the world need any more damn lawyers anyway?) is just as important as what I did, more important actually because I learned more from that stuff.

 

I always underestimated the value of the winding path, thought that it made me lesser because I hadn't honed in on exactly what I wanted to do and gone straight for it. But its actually an advantage I think now.

 

And whatever cr@p's happening in my life now, its still my life, its in my control how I see it and I choose to laugh while dripping head to toe in toddler vomit ( I literally did laugh- then gag- then laughed some more).

 

And your recipe for a successful relationship and long marriage Gunny- that's really what i want. I didn't just give my virginity away to any d@mn one (even if 14 years later he turned out to be f**ktard) why would I disrespect myself in a sexual sense now? Or anymore than I had been by continuing to sleep with X... I try to intellectualise and be all cool about it but at the end of the day I don't think i can really do 'casual sex' if such a thing really exists... why would I want to turn what should be an emotional act into just a pleasant way to scratch of an itch? (But in a week or so I may feel differently- I'm a bit up/ down on this depending on my hormones/ mood.)

 

It doesn' t help that even when I've been spewie lady for six hours X still wants sex (he came here to watch our son while I was sick and then he got sick too) - I told him I was too tired to even think about, he replied that asking was about as much as he could manage. (I file this sort of thing mentally as: X is a man, men always want sex). No I haven't had sex with him recently. I'm being a very good girl. So good I can hear convent bells...

 

This reply was much better but my cat knocked my cords and I lost some sparkling gems of thoughts, now I'm too tired to get them back.

 

 

Take it to the limit! Live "Life" to its top! Everyday is worth living it to its fullest, to its "top" Life's worth living! I see it in my Grandson's eyes! His awwaaa's his wow's and gezz's!

 

I've made it to the otherside of where you're at! Its a bitch getting to the otherside. But its worth the journey!

 

I'm finally to the point to where I'm not living to work, but working to live! I've gone and caught my azz a bus to Mexico. I live in Margaretivlle. Everyday's a festivle~ everyday a holiday ~ everyday's a feast!

 

Its been Hell getting here! But I've finally arrived! I'm settled! I'm content! I'm happy! IN and with myself! With my life!

 

I'd like to find someone where its not just about sex! Someone that makes me laugh, smile ~someone who's my friend! Someone who compliments me? Makes me a better " me!