TogetherForever Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 LOL, I guess we do. Thanks for your kind sentiments. You have a great weekend to You're welcome & Thank You:bunny:. (We need some more smiley's) Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted June 30, 2007 Author Share Posted June 30, 2007 You're welcome & Thank You:bunny:. (We need some more smiley's) *You're not kidding we need more smiley's! Someone just doesn't care! They could so easily import a smiley pack that it isn't funny. The owners of this board choose to limit the options for some reason. Have a good one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted June 30, 2007 Author Share Posted June 30, 2007 I've been watching cable news somewhat today about the terrorist attacks over in the UK and it's just baffling everytime i see these things that these LUNATICS would actually KILL innocent people in the name of their religion. It's nothing but pure hatred. Wow, unreal really. What do they think they're accomplishing anyway? They blow themselves up in the name of what? WTF for? Lol, what a bunch of misguided fools. Fools, but dangerous fools. I hope all y'all are doing well today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 1, 2007 Author Share Posted July 1, 2007 It's been 29 days since I last spoke with OW. Every morning I still wake up with her on my mind. I must dream about her. She's deep within my sub-consciousness obviously. I never remember my dreams of late but every morning I am aware that she is on my mind. My marriage is going well and W knows nothing of what happened with OW and I can see NO good reason to say a thing. We have had a good weekend and have been close and intimate. This is all very strange to me, all of this OW stuff and how it has impacted me but not in the ways I would have thought. I try not to think about OW a lot and for the most part I succeed but that doesn't mean I can just simply forget as evidenced by my wakening thoughts. There are traces of her everywhere. I have an 80GB video iPod and yesterday I decided to add about 1000 digital photos to it and make a slideshow and add music to it (1000 photos takes up less than 1GB of memory). Afterwards I decided to watch it and there were pics of OW on there, about 20 or so. Lol, I wasn't expecting to see those and had forgotten they were even on there. A few of them were taken at our first meeting. A bunch of them were taken at her house and some of them in my van. It brought back a rush of memories that were completely unexpected. I wonder how I'll be feeling and thinking after another month... In July we are going to the coast to get away for about 5 days, me and the wife. It should be a good time. Life goes on. Bla, bla, bla.... Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbi Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 When you wife cheated on you, what prompted you to do everything in your power to find out if she was cheating on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbi Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 What I mean is... it did no good finding out she cheated right? The only thing that happened was that you got hurt, right? But, you still wanted to know, didn't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 When you wife cheated on you, what prompted you to do everything in your power to find out if she was cheating on you? I wasn't really prompted i somehow just knew one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbi Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 And you were furious, werent' you? When you realized she was cheating. You didn't care if the OM's whatever did whatever to him, didn't you? You could have cared less about the OM's background story, can't you? The information was somewhat relieving, wasn't it? You didn't have to question no more or suspect. You knew. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 What I mean is... it did no good finding out she cheated right? The only thing that happened was that you got hurt, right? But, you still wanted to know, didn't you? I really didn't want to know but I just somehow ended up knowing. I can't say I wanted to know at all but I did have to deal with it after I did. I remember thinking that I had to snap her back into reality to make sure she knew what she was doing. I was pretty naive about these sorts of things back then. Yes I was hurt. We only had 2 kids back then and they were very young. I couldn't believe she was fooling around at first but I soon came to terms with her reasoning and her lapse of reason and I understood (as much as one can understand such a thing). I just wanted her to get back to her family and to stop it. It wasn't just me and her I was worried about. We have talked about that many times through the years and she always says that I vastly overreacted and imagined things that never occurred and I became almost completely paranoid and was questioning her over and over and over. She says it was never what I imagined it was and she was glad it was finally over when it was over. Nowadays I can relate to that completely. I'm glad mine is over too. There would be no sense in telling her about me and OW, atleast not presently. It would only cause unnecessary problems. And it is over now. In her case it was over because I found out and helped her end it and really she did want to end it. And believe me I KNEW it was ended and I knew she didn't want anything to do with that older guy. She couldn't believe what she had been doing, much like how I often feel too. I miss OW but I'm glad it's over. It had to be over. It wasn't healthy in any way. I see no reason to tell her exactly what happened. The way I see it, it's enough that it's over. She knew somewhat of what was going on and she doesn't ever press me about anything about it. She's just glad that I no longer spend hours on the phone and she can tell that I am somewhat different I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 And you were furious, werent' you? When you realized she was cheating. You didn't care if the OM's whatever did whatever to him, didn't you? You could have cared less about the OM's background story, can't you? The information was somewhat relieving, wasn't it? You didn't have to question no more or suspect. You knew. Yes I was both hurt and pissed. Yes I knew. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 Did your spouse cheat on you Chubbie? Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Oh fer ****s sake. Is this is the infamous MM speak I have heard of? I dont know FH. I think this **** is pretty simple. YOU are the only one in charge of your happiness. You say your marriage is lacking and blaming your wife. Attempting to justify your fling. You could go up to your wife and say things have to change because you feel this way and that way. Or you could leave. But you will not do either because you actually have to grow a pair to take charge of your life and I think you are wayyyyyy to much the coward. Sheesh. Its just not that complicated. I know you want it to be so it excuses you from being a chicken poop but it isnt. And you need to tell your wife. She has a right to know what is happening in the marriage. You have decieved her, and now you making desicions for her. Get some balls. Link to post Share on other sites
RIDINGTHEBULLS1 Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 How did you find out about your wife's first affair? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 Oh fer ****s sake. Is this is the infamous MM speak I have heard of? I dont know FH. I think this **** is pretty simple. YOU are the only one in charge of your happiness. You say your marriage is lacking and blaming your wife. Attempting to justify your fling. You could go up to your wife and say things have to change because you feel this way and that way. Or you could leave. But you will not do either because you actually have to grow a pair to take charge of your life and I think you are wayyyyyy to much the coward. Sheesh. Its just not that complicated. I know you want it to be so it excuses you from being a chicken poop but it isnt. And you need to tell your wife. She has a right to know what is happening in the marriage. You have decieved her, and now you making desicions for her. Get some balls. You know LESS THAN NOTHING about me or my situation. I honestly don't know why you people seem to think you know anything about my situation or anyone's for that matter. LOL! Get real Anka and stop being so judgemental and so ridiculous. You KNOW NOTHING and you know you know nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 How did you find out about your wife's first affair? It was her first and only affair. I just knew. I could just tell. Things added up, ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Oh fer ****s sake. Is this is the infamous MM speak I have heard of? I dont know FH. I think this **** is pretty simple. YOU are the only one in charge of your happiness. You say your marriage is lacking and blaming your wife. Attempting to justify your fling. You could go up to your wife and say things have to change because you feel this way and that way. Or you could leave. But you will not do either because you actually have to grow a pair to take charge of your life and I think you are wayyyyyy to much the coward. Sheesh. Its just not that complicated. I know you want it to be so it excuses you from being a chicken poop but it isnt. And you need to tell your wife. She has a right to know what is happening in the marriage. You have decieved her, and now you making desicions for her. Get some balls. Well, I have been really harsh on him because he sounded like his wife could take or leave it if she found out. Sounded like he had real contempt for his wife. but now I understand. He NEVER mentioned until recently that his wife had cheated on him. Two wrongs don't make a right and I in NO WAY condone what he did. And I bashed him for his attitude towards his wife. Although I still think he is less than a man for cheating himself....I can now at least understand his attitude towards her. All I can say to FH is...hey, I'm sorry. But it would have been nice to know this information up front about her cheating on you first. I still don't like what you did, so all I can say is she wouldn't have a right to complain if she did find out. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 And you need to tell your wife. She has a right to know what is happening in the marriage. You have decieved her, and now you making desicions for her. Get some balls. She didn't tell him about cheating on him did she? She needs to grow some tits. Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 So Bish, 15 years later she deserves to be in a unmonogomous marriage without her knowledge? So, she cheated, 15 years ago. HE made the choice to stay. If you choose to reconcile that doesnt give you a free pass to have a affiar of your own. And he did say she cheated 15 years ago in his second or third post on this thread. This isnt recent news. Cheating is cheating and it is wrong. Maybe he should have had the balls to leave her when he found out she cheated. Not stay married and pop out a few kids only to do the same thing, Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 So Bish, 15 years later she deserves to be in a unmonogomous marriage without her knowledge? You didn't read what I said. I never said that. I said two wrongs don't make a right and I still think he is less than a man for cheating. I said I now understand his ATTITUDE towards his wife which has nothing to do with what he did. So, she cheated, 15 years ago. HE made the choice to stay. If you choose to reconcile that doesnt give you a free pass to have a affiar of your own. I agree....show me where I said otherwise. And he did say she cheated 15 years ago in his second or third post on this thread. This isnt recent news. To me it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 So Bish, 15 years later she deserves to be in a unmonogomous marriage without her knowledge? So, she cheated, 15 years ago. HE made the choice to stay. If you choose to reconcile that doesnt give you a free pass to have a affiar of your own. And he did say she cheated 15 years ago in his second or third post on this thread. This isnt recent news. Cheating is cheating and it is wrong. Maybe he should have had the balls to leave her when he found out she cheated. Not stay married and pop out a few kids only to do the same thing, Lol, it really is none of your damned business to be honest with you. What we choose to do is completely up to us whether you approve or not! I really don't much care that she had that affair 15 yrs ago, big friggin' deal. I don't OWN her and never did. I understand. And what happened with me really isn't all that big of a deal either. S-h-i-t happens and then you just go on. Not much more that needs to be said really. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 And what happened with me really isn't all that big of a deal either. S-h-i-t happens and then you just go on. Not much more that needs to be said really. Then what is the point of this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Then what is the point of this thread? My thoughts EXACTLY. he takes out a thread on his situation on a public forum and tells people it is NONE of their business when they post their opinions LOL I'm starting to see that mabybe this is intended more as a public journal or diary for him to purge his thoughts, but what he fails to see is what all of us reading his words see...anyhow my thoughts are you don't want feedback maybe make your journal private? Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FavoriteHeadache Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 Then what is the point of this thread? There is no point anymore. I'm ok with it. Like I've said many times within this thread I am simply forgetting and moving on. I'm not worried about it at all. It's over and done and that's that. There's no way I'm going to allow the OW thing to ruin my life and family. Nobody knows anything about anything and that's the way it's going to stay. At first it seemed like a good idea to vent about all this stuff somewhat but obviously that is undoable in any reasonable fashion without a bunch of self righteous jerks (just like I suspected) chiming in their half a penny's worth of total judgemental bs. Lol, like I give a frick about what they think! I could care less, lmao! I'm not talking about you or about most of the sincere people I've seen post on here but some of these people are just WAY over the line and are complete nimrods. I couldn't imagine myself acting like they have ever. Like I said, I'm good with things as they are and am moving on without looking back and without regret. Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbi Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 I think the OW was an ego boost. At that point in time, you needed to be needed, and you fell for the heroics. Or you want some attention. It's over now right, because now you can get the attention you want from your wife. Those trips you're going on with her and her alone. You said just you and her; she wanted to bring the kids but you didn't want to- you just want some quality time. I still don't understand how you venting on a forum will bring you closure. You have repeated your story so many times I don't see how you can forget it like you claim. How long was the affair? No. I haven't been cheated on. Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 First off FH, you sorta made it the business of the LS members when you posted it. If you havent noticed, this is forum, people post thier problems and get advice and feed back. Secondly, I expected what I said to upset you. The truth is hard to swallow. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts