Why Would I Tell???

[jj2007]

LOL! I can't argue with that first part. But it all starts by being "friends". I never had any intention of "dipping my stick" in her, not at first. That happens by itself if you get my meaning. I'm not looking for excuses at all but there are reasons (there's a difference between excuses and reasons). I am not trying to excuse what happened but I am trying to understand it (understand the reasoning).

She wanted it more than I did and she started that part of it so don't go telling me I "dipped my stick" so fast. It was more her that took it and not me that dipped it initially. I'm NOT blaming her I'm just stating the fact. It's not like I took advantage of her or anything. She knew fully well what she was doing and I was powerless to say no (I have to admit). She is beautiful and I caved in like a sick puppy. But there is a lot more to it really.

 

Btw, I sleep just fine. I was amazed at how little it bothered me. I would have thought it would have bothered me a lot more. When you really and truly care about someone these things naturally occur. It wasn't about sex at all. The sex was just an extension of the emotion and was the natural next step. I doubt that you can understand what I mean because I have a hard time with it myself but it is nonetheless true.

 

And sex with my wife has been fantastic as usual too.

Maybe I am a sick man? Lol, I don't know. If I am then OW is a sick woman too. We both were having each other while also having our spouses. This is a very weird thing to live or to explain. It's as if both of us were living two entirely different lives. Looking back it makes no sense and seems unreal.

 

I didn't want it to happen. She knew fully well that I was married. That had nothing to do with any part of it. I don't expect you to understand that cuz I don't either.

I feel so sorry for your wife. You say again you didn't want it to happen but YOU LET IT just as much as the OW did. It takes more effort to let it happen than just saying, " hey I think what we have is great but as you already know I AM MARRIED."

You should tell your wife because she has a right to know that she is sharing her husband with another woman.

You say that things moved on to the "natural next step"!? Yeah it would be the natural next step if you were a SINGLE GUY getting into a serious relationship. But I guess you forgot that you were already in one!! Do you not have any morals or a conscience at all? Sheesh!

[jj2007]

This guy just couldn't care less really...he's a selfish cake eater, full stop.

 

Grow a pair and tell your wife for God's sake - at least tell her there are problems in your marriage and fix them together. You're so selfish.

 

Exactly! Oh and FH all you know about your OW's marriage is what she tells you. Unless you hung out with them together and saw ANY of the abuse you have no idea what goes on in their lives. You say you saw some emails he sent her? Who's to say that she didn't write those herself? Sounds to me like she might be a cake eater too. You two deserve each other.

[TogetherForever]

Ok, What's going on here? Is FavoriteHeadache gone?

[jj2007]

Silent Candace, started a thread about her affair and her confusion. it took great courage for her to confess. Most people both men and woman would have ended the affair and just be thankful they did not get caught. I have not seen one post on her thread out and out condemning her. Most is what I would call stern sympathy. In a few post she is mildly chastised. Yet the majority were somewhat sympathetic.

In this thread the guy is ripped a new one in about ever 3rd post. Some predict he will do it again. He most be a serial cheater. The guy make a mistake. he does not want to rub his wives nose in his mistake. Sure some of that is self serving. She already knows that this was an emotional affair. She must suspect more then just talking.

Maybe he should get the two of them into see a MC. In that environment he could make his confession. A Concealer might help her see why he cheated and what her roll in it was. Yes the wife has a roll in his cheating. Despite what many believe most men have affairs because they are emotionally starved at home.

 

The difference between SC and FH is SC seems to show remorse for her actions and she said she was going to tell her husband everything and try to start over again. FH says it's in the past and is not willing to try anything to rebuild his marriage because in his mind there is nothing to fix because what his wife doesn't know won't hurt her. That's the way he is coming across to me anyway. He seems VERY selfish and needs to be called on it.

Oh and "emotionally starved at home"? just another EXCUSE that cheater's use to justify their actions.

[jj2007]

Because she was a stupid young 25 year old who was taken advantage of by an older man. That is ancient history. That was nothing but a bunch of crap.

I didn't cheat "on her", I had a THING with an OW. My wife had nothing to do with that. I never felt like I was doing anything to her at all (though I was).I never saw it as a betrayal until later.

I don't think I was selfish at all. If I was then I wouldn't have tried to help ow at all. It was hardly selfishness that got me involved with all that.

 

GOOD LORD you won't even admit you cheated on your wife!?

Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

[jj2007]

Why? Uh...hmmm. In case she finds out from someone else somehow.

And if you don't have any consequences to your actions, you will do it again.

 

 

 

Like what? Lemme guess, she wasn't fullfilling all of your needs...blah blah blah.

 

 

 

If you truly believe your own words here, then you will cheat again. Because after all, you couldn't help it. Some strange force unzipped your pants and thrusted your lil sprout into this OW.

 

 

 

So then your wife must be a real bi!tch. Is that your excuse?

 

 

 

Thats just it. She is busy with the kids. This woman bore your children. And sorry pal, when you have children, things change. You may not like it, but thats marriage and having a family.

 

But thats what separates the men from the boys. Fathers and husbands that can handle the change are the men.

 

 

 

You think you are making a compelling case to cheat on your wife who is raising your kids?

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no...please don't tell me that. I'm 38. You mean when I hit 45 I'm going to turn into a selfish pr!ck?

 

 

 

Thats because she trusts you. I feel sorry for your wife.

 

 

 

BOOM. This last paragraph right here is why you need to tell your wife. The H of your OW knows. He will probably, in his own due time, decide to tell your wife. And if so, you might want to hide all the frying pans.

 

 

 

Well you sure as hell didn't make it any better. What do you think an abusive guy will do once he finds out, and found out from you, that you were boinking his wife? I can guarantee you that things aren't going to well at her house.

 

 

 

only if you live in a state that doesn't have "Alienation of Affection" laws.

 

 

 

Ya, but does your wife know you dipped your wick in her?

 

 

 

At the time it was right and you did what you had to? You've got to be freaking kidding me. At NO TIME is it right to cheat on your wife. EVER.

 

That last statement right there shows that given the opportunity, you WILL cheat again. Too bad your wife doesn't know so she can save what life she has left and leave you.

 

bish, you hit the nail on the head. You are not bitter but sometimes the truth is a BITTER pill to swallow.

[jj2007]

Wait a minute! This forum is for people that find themselves involved with committed people. Not for BS'. Not to come take out their anger on these people that have nothing to do with their spouses affair. What exactly are you doing here???

 

If your W cheated on you than maybe you should check out the Breaking up, Reconciliation, and Coping Forums. This man has no reason, or need, to express remorse for what he has done here. Thats why its for people in Affairs!!!

 

This is a PUBLIC forum where anyone can post. If someone feels they are not recieving sympathy for cheating then they should check out "gloryb.com" and join the infidelity support group.

[bish]

Lol, it really is none of your damned business to be honest with you.

 

 

When you told your story here, you MADE IT everyone's business.

 

If you don't want it to be anyone elses business, then you shouldn't have come here and aired your dirty laundry.

[TogetherForever]

When you told your story here, you MADE IT everyone's business.

 

If you don't want it to be anyone elses business, then you shouldn't have come here and aired your dirty laundry.

 

 

Is FH even here anymore? Haven't seen a post in a long time from him.

[Babybird]

This is a PUBLIC forum where anyone can post. If someone feels they are not recieving sympathy for cheating then they should check out "gloryb.com" and join the infidelity support group.

 

Says the BS to the OW. I'm shocked.

 

I came here for support and advice because I was having an A. That's what this forum is for.

 

Why are you here? You aren't an OW.

[bish]

Says the BS to the OW. I'm shocked.

 

I came here for support and advice because I was having an A. That's what this forum is for.

 

Support for what? Advocating sleeping with other women's husbands? Cuz I read your posts and you make it sound like being with a MM is a beautiful thing.

[jj2007]

Says the BS to the OW. I'm shocked.

 

I came here for support and advice because I was having an A. That's what this forum is for.

 

Why are you here? You aren't an OW.

 

Obviously you want "support" meaning people telling you it's ok to sleep with people already in a committed relationship then try the site I mentioned. All the OW/OM lean on each other for support:sick: and you have to register and be approved to post so you won't have to worry about someone with morals telling you what you are doing is wrong. Again, this is a PUBLIC forum and everyone has a right to post. I hope you find happiness with your sloppy seconds.