Why Would I Tell???

[FavoriteHeadache]

yes i have twin girls 5 years old and one on the way a boy due in october.not all the people on here bash lol there are some are really helpful and listen . its helpful to be able to talk it helps sort things out to have someone to listen when it hurts. how old are your children?are you hopeing for a reconnection on your vacation? have fun at the concrt it sounds like fun

 

Mine are 19, 17, 10 and 4 (the 2 oldest are girls, the two youngest are boys). They are all both of ours.

No I'm not hoping for a reconnection because there isn't anything to reconnect. It is what it is and that's the way it will always be. Our marriage is the same as always. I never disconnected from her through all of this and she doesn't suspect a thing. We are the same as always. It's as if the ea never happened. It might seem strange but it's true. I guess we're comfortable with the way things are after all these years. Hell, it's even got me scratching my head in a way, lol....

What happened with me an OW is like it was totally seperate from my family life. It has no bearing on it. I'm relieved that it's over.

The concert was AWESOME!

[FavoriteHeadache]

I just realized that whoever owns this forum has disabled the picture option! I was going to post some of the pix I took at the concert.

I got some really GREAT ones! We were only 10 rows back and some of the pics I got are really really close!

Wait! Maybe I can send them as a link. I'll try tomorrow.

Damn I had a GREAT time tonight!

G'night!

[FavoriteHeadache]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o170/cjselectric/RUSHSA036.jpg

 

I better get me arse to bed!

[FavoriteHeadache]

Lol, I just bought tickets to see RUSH again tomorrow in Virginia Beach and printed them right out!

I'm HOOKED!

It's off to Virginia early tomorrow afternoon!

Yahoooooo!

[IpAncA]

I'm coming into this late but better late than never I say.

 

I can't see ever telling my wife what went on with another women ever. What would be the point? It would just hurt her. And me bringing it up just seems like a malicious act. It's not going to happen.

 

What happened must have happened for a reason so why would I analyze it to death? It happened because it happened. We couldn't help it (seriously).

 

Okay you say that it would hurt her but yet you say she'd get over it. Then you go on and say your not running away from it but yet in the same time your hiding it. Which is it?

 

It was a mistake but under the circumstances it's understandable (atleast to me). I'm not going to kick my own ass over this. It happened and it's understandable. Life goes on.

 

Sorry but cheating is never understandable. There are better options and you know it.

 

This is why I do not regret what happened all that much. I did what I felt I had to do. It would have been WORSE had I just let her drown if you see what I mean by that. Neither of us had a clue what would eventually happen and how involved we would get. IT JUST HAPPENED.

 

You did what you felt you had to do but yet you say it just happend. Just happening is one thing but when you feel you did what you HAD TO DO, well that's another story. Especially when you say it was bound to happen.

 

I HATE that I betrayed my marriage. I REALLY do! I am not proud of that fact! But at the same time I can't say that what happened between me and OW was not necessary in certain ways! It was bound to happen and anybody could see that if they understood all the circumstances. It's showing me that we are NOT always masters of our own destiny and that certain forces are STRONGER and BIGGER than we are.

 

Why don't you come clean and take responsibility for your actions? I'm guessing it's because you know what will happen. If your W was so understanding and would simply brush it off, you wouldn't spend so much time trying to convince us. You'd come out and tell her.

 

I'm relieved that it's over.

 

That's where your wrong. It's not over. Sure the affair is but you have to worry about something else, your W.

[IpAncA]

I'll miss her and always remember her and maybe even talk to her again but god willing that is all it will ever amount to in the future.

I love her but it cannot continue in the future. It just can't.

 

I have not talked with OW for 3 weeks or so. I will not call her again. She usually called me.

 

What I quoted above is just not right. N/C is in order and you and your W should work your marriage out. At least what's left of it.

[NoIDidn't]

Ok. So, you (the mm), me (the ow) & NoIDidn't (the BS).:eek:Eek.

 

Nope, now that's where you're wrong.

 

ME: MW

Him: MM

You: Other OW

 

Step off!!!!! #^#*&$!@!!!

[FavoriteHeadache]

I'm coming into this late but better late than never I say.

 

 

 

Okay you say that it would hurt her but yet you say she'd get over it. Then you go on and say your not running away from it but yet in the same time your hiding it. Which is it?

 

 

 

Sorry but cheating is never understandable. There are better options and you know it.

 

 

 

You did what you felt you had to do but yet you say it just happend. Just happening is one thing but when you feel you did what you HAD TO DO, well that's another story. Especially when you say it was bound to happen.

 

 

 

Why don't you come clean and take responsibility for your actions? I'm guessing it's because you know what will happen. If your W was so understanding and would simply brush it off, you wouldn't spend so much time trying to convince us. You'd come out and tell her.

 

 

 

That's where your wrong. It's not over. Sure the affair is but you have to worry about something else, your W.

 

 

You asked which is it? It's both! That's the problem with these things --- MIXED EMOTIONS.

I never said my W would just brush it off, lol, I said she'd get over it.

There is absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL in saying a damned thing. I see no reason to whatsoever. It's PLENTY enough that I know.

I appreciate your time but I'm ok with it all now. I know what direction to head and there is no reason on planet earth to complicate matters any more than they are by telling her anything.

It helps to vent and write things like this thread because it manifests things into reality that are swirling within and it makes it easier to see things and to decide. I have decided. The "A" is OVER and I'm moving on and doing my best to forget about it.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Nope, now that's where you're wrong.

 

ME: MW

Him: MM

You: Other OW

 

Step off!!!!! #^#*&$!@!!!

 

lol....

[FavoriteHeadache]

What I quoted above is just not right. N/C is in order and you and your W should work your marriage out. At least what's left of it.

 

As an outsider looking in (meaning YOU), I can see how you see things. You're probably partially right too.

 

My marriage is no different now than it has been for many years. I never did anything like have an "A" b4 because I never looked for such a thing and I wasn't looking even when this happened. My main focus has always been to provide for my family and while doing so you often completely forget about self.

My wife and I are just very different and are grown apart. We love each other in our own comfortable ways. Believe me when I say that she never could sense that OW was as meaningful as she was to me. My W just isn't close enough to be able to tell and that's the truth. So you see, the reality of the situation is that life goes on the same as always. Nothing has changed for better or worse with my marriage. It simply is what it is.

 

I have known my wife since she was 15 and I was 21. We've been together for 25 years now. We are comfortable with the way things are. It seems to work well enough for the most part. We are not very close but neither are we ever at each others throats. Things are civil and we both care A LOT about the kids. If we didn't have the kids there is NO WAY we'd be together still. But we do and that's enough for us.

[IpAncA]

Yeah but don't you want to try and make it better?

[serial muse]

As an outsider looking in (meaning YOU), I can see how you see things. You're probably partially right too.

 

My marriage is no different now than it has been for many years. I never did anything like have an "A" b4 because I never looked for such a thing and I wasn't looking even when this happened. My main focus has always been to provide for my family and while doing so you often completely forget about self.

My wife and I are just very different and are grown apart. We love each other in our own comfortable ways. Believe me when I say that she never could sense that OW was as meaningful as she was to me. My W just isn't close enough to be able to tell and that's the truth. So you see, the reality of the situation is that life goes on the same as always. Nothing has changed for better or worse with my marriage. It simply is what it is.

 

I have known my wife since she was 15 and I was 21. We've been together for 25 years now. We are comfortable with the way things are. It seems to work well enough for the most part. We are not very close but neither are we ever at each others throats. Things are civil and we both care A LOT about the kids. If we didn't have the kids there is NO WAY we'd be together still. But we do and that's enough for us.

 

 

Except for the part where it so clearly isn't enough.

 

FH, it's like you're not listening to yourself. As outsiders looking in, we're hearing everything you're saying, including the stuff you say that contradicts itself, the stuff that reveals deep dissatisfaction despite your surface resignation to "that's the way it is". Maybe an outside perspective, therefore, is worth paying more attention to?

[Topper]

Silent Candace, started a thread about her affair and her confusion. it took great courage for her to confess. Most people both men and woman would have ended the affair and just be thankful they did not get caught. I have not seen one post on her thread out and out condemning her. Most is what I would call stern sympathy. In a few post she is mildly chastised. Yet the majority were somewhat sympathetic.

In this thread the guy is ripped a new one in about ever 3rd post. Some predict he will do it again. He most be a serial cheater. The guy make a mistake. he does not want to rub his wives nose in his mistake. Sure some of that is self serving. She already knows that this was an emotional affair. She must suspect more then just talking.

Maybe he should get the two of them into see a MC. In that environment he could make his confession. A Concealer might help her see why he cheated and what her roll in it was. Yes the wife has a roll in his cheating. Despite what many believe most men have affairs because they are emotionally starved at home.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Except for the part where it so clearly isn't enough.

 

FH, it's like you're not listening to yourself. As outsiders looking in, we're hearing everything you're saying, including the stuff you say that contradicts itself, the stuff that reveals deep dissatisfaction despite your surface resignation to "that's the way it is". Maybe an outside perspective, therefore, is worth paying more attention to?

 

Of course it's worth paying attention to. I don't see how I'm contradicting myself(?). I actually feel both ways at the same time. I am dissatisfied but at the same time have to accept things how they are. What's the contradiction?

I love my wife and she loves me. What we have is enough for her apparently or she'd be more willing to do something about it but she really doesn't care to. It's just the way she is and there's nothing that can be done about that.

While I can see how our marriage could be much better I can't do anything about it because I've tried and she's unable to change in the ways I would need. I can't recreate her and I wouldn't even try. She is how she is and I'm fine with accepting that. Our marriage is how it will always be. And really it isn't too bad.

I never looked to have an "A" and I'm not looking now. What I had with OW is over and happened for a reason but it was a mistake. I'm comfortable with that explanation and can easily move on.

I'm married and that's the way it is. I would never choose to go outside that marriage for anything. The OW thing was a complete shock to me and to OW. We ended it. There's absolutely no reason to say a word about it. Why would I? It's over and in the past.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Silent Candace, started a thread about her affair and her confusion. it took great courage for her to confess. Most people both men and woman would have ended the affair and just be thankful they did not get caught. I have not seen one post on her thread out and out condemning her. Most is what I would call stern sympathy. In a few post she is mildly chastised. Yet the majority were somewhat sympathetic.

In this thread the guy is ripped a new one in about ever 3rd post. Some predict he will do it again. He most be a serial cheater. The guy make a mistake. he does not want to rub his wives nose in his mistake. Sure some of that is self serving. She already knows that this was an emotional affair. She must suspect more then just talking.

Maybe he should get the two of them into see a MC. In that environment he could make his confession. A Concealer might help her see why he cheated and what her roll in it was. Yes the wife has a roll in his cheating. Despite what many believe most men have affairs because they are emotionally starved at home.

 

They can try ripping me a new one all they want and it really makes NO DIFFERENCE at all. I know exactly what happened and what is what regardless of what anyone else might think or say. I see absolutely no logic in confessing to my W. Geez, wtf would be the sense in that? She doesn't seem to WANT TO KNOW anyway! She knew full well that I often talked with OW and has NEVER pressed me on the issue and frankly seems like it is a complete non-issue to her. My W has the ability to easily move on from all things. She knows that I no longer converse with OW and is happy about it and that's enough for her.

I'm self employed and much of what I do is from my home office. I never hid just about any of my phone conversations with OW. My W knew all along in a limited fashion that I was speaking with OW multiple times per day. I guess she's a very secure woman because at first it hardly bothered her. After a while she did start saying stuff about it but I told her it was almost over. My W knows just about as much about OW as I do and about OW's marital problems and other problems. She is just happy that now it is over and is moving on without looking back. She never once questioned me about OW in any serious fashion even when she knew I was visiting her. For me to volunteer any info at this point would be completely idiotic and would serve no good purpose whatsoever. Like I said, my W is just happy all the phone calls have ended and has moved on. She's not chained to the past and neither am I. I guess we both share that ability to be able to wake up in the morning and see that it is a brand new day.

I think I'm done with this thread. There is NO REASON to tell anything to my W. If she ever asks me then I'll probably change my mind but as of now I'm moving onward.

I can see how I got involved with OW and see how to guard against such a thing in the future. It really wasn't worth it in any way. But there are contradictions in my feelings. On one hand I don't regret helping her at all. But on the other, it should have NEVER gotten to the point that it did.

I'm just glad it's over and as the reality of it all continues to set in it just makes my resolve that much more to never allow this sort of thing to happen again.

If OW calls me again then fine. I don't mind talking to her and will do so right here in my office with no problem. If she doesn't then that's fine too. I can't control what happens but I can control how I react to it. And I think I've learned my lesson. God I hope so.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Yeah but don't you want to try and make it better?

 

I do but it's FUTILE. After years of trying I know our limitations. I choose to just look at the good in it I guess and leave the rest on the doorstep.

That's all I can do believe me.

[IpAncA]

I do but it's FUTILE. After years of trying I know our limitations. I choose to just look at the good in it I guess and leave the rest on the doorstep.

That's all I can do believe me.

Have you tried counseling?

[FavoriteHeadache]

Have you tried counseling?

 

For what? She accepts things as they are just like I do. She wouldn't even take the suggestion seriously. She's not the type of person that would go telling anyone anything about herself. She would literally say, "why would we need counseling"?

It really isn't an option.

Now if both of us were willing to do such a thing then it would probably be beneficial but that simply isn't the case.

Weird situation but that's how it is.

Best thing we can do is just go on as is IMO.

[Tomcat33]

. My W knew all along in a limited fashion that I was speaking with OW multiple times per day. I guess she's a very secure woman because at first it hardly bothered her. After a while she did start saying stuff about it but I told her it was almost over. My W knows just about as much about OW as I do and about OW's marital problems and other problems. She is just happy that now it is over and is moving on without looking back. She never once questioned me about OW in any serious fashion even when she knew I was visiting her.

 

 

Yeah your W knew you were talking to this woman for whatever the reason were that you were in contact with her to begin with (what you choose not to get into here publicly) be it business related to your line of work or because you met her on a support group of sorts, then your W wouldn't question you on it PERHAPS because she trusted that you were helping this woman out in a platonic way. You abused her trust and on top of it are trying to say she "saw what was happening and chose to ignore it"!?!? So in other words you are implying your W knew you were with this OW and she payed a blind eye so it's ok?

 

C'mon how many more ways are you going to try to excuse your A? You don't want to tell your wife, fine don't tell her but you have convinced yourself that just because your W never questioned what you did that everything that happened was ok and no harm done to anyone, because your W doesn't really care anyway. And now you you are trying to convince everyone else of this too? The reason it feels people are jumping on you here is because the picture we get is a different one from our end.

 

At the end of the day I read your posts and to me you are screaming out for help I don't even think you realise this, the person you want to reach out to you the most is your W and you paint her in a way which appears that no matter how much you would want to change your situation at home she would not respond. Unless she has a mental illness which is why you resorted to these other forums in the first place and your W cannot and will not do a thing to change her end of your marriage's situation, then I think you owe it to yourself and to her to reach out to her and see how you could grow from your new found knowledge. How do you even know she is not willing to meet your needs? Again I am not saying tell her what happened, if you can live with the secret and use it to benfit your situation at home then that's fine. What was the point of having this A if you are just going to burry it and then go back to your marriage and leave it exactly as it was? Unless of course you intend on doing this again somewhere down the road with another woman, then I can see why you would wish to do NOTHING from it. OR unless you just wanted a fling, and you have assured us that was not the case.

 

So what do plan to do from what life has put in your path? Nothing?

[serial muse]

Yeah your W knew you were talking to this woman for whatever the reason were that you were in contact with her to begin with (what you choose not to get into here publicly) be it business related to your line of work or because you met her on a support group of sorts, then your W wouldn't question you on it PERHAPS because she trusted that you were helping this woman out in a platonic way. You abused her trust and on top of it are trying to say she "saw what was happening and chose to ignore it"!?!? So in other words you are implying your W knew you were with this OW and she payed a blind eye so it's ok?

 

C'mon how many more ways are you going to try to excuse your A? You don't want to tell your wife, fine don't tell her but you have convinced yourself that just because your W never questioned what you did that everything that happened was ok and no harm done to anyone, because your W doesn't really care anyway. And now you you are trying to convince everyone else of this too? The reason it feels people are jumping on you here is because the picture we get is a different one from our end.

 

At the end of the day I read your posts and to me you are screaming out for help I don't even think you realise this, the person you want to reach out to you the most is your W and you paint her in a way which appears that no matter how much you would want to change your situation at home she would not respond. Unless she has a mental illness which is why you resorted to these other forums in the first place and your W cannot and will not do a thing to change her end of your marriage's situation, then I think you owe it to yourself and to her to reach out to her and see how you could grow from your new found knowledge. How do you even know she is not willing to meet your needs? Again I am not saying tell her what happened, if you can live with the secret and use it to benfit your situation at home then that's fine. What was the point of having this A if you are just going to burry it and then go back to your marriage and leave it exactly as it was? Unless of course you intend on doing this again somewhere down the road with another woman, then I can see why you would wish to do NOTHING from it. OR unless you just wanted a fling, and you have assured us that was not the case.

 

So what do plan to do from what life has put in your path? Nothing?

 

 

Thank you, TC, all of this is exactly what I was trying to say! I just do not understand, FH, why you keep saying your wife won't do a thing and is happy with the way things are and why should you talk to her about what you want, when you have no way of knowing that because you haven't really tried!!! This is a circular argument, and it's exactly why people are recommending counseling. It's just so senseless, and such a waste - why not at least try to make it better??

 

What we have is enough for her apparently or she'd be more willing to do something about it but she really doesn't care to.

 

This in particular is the part that is maddening. Why are you so convinced your wife is fine with things?? She had an affair, too. She wasn't fine then. She did do something. And now you've done something, because you're not fine either. None of this resignation and assumption that everything's okay because no one wants to talk about it openly makes any sense. You don't want to talk about it either, and you're not okay. Maybe the same thing is going on with her - perhaps she feels that you won't come through or try to improve things with her anyway, so why bother? And if she is thinking that, then you're both wrong.

 

The reason you're getting more impassioned responses than Silent_Candace is because she has accepted full responsibility for what she did, and has now chosen a course of action to at least try to repair her and her husband's lives. That's proactive and brave. Whether or not you want to tell your wife about your affair isn't even the main point here - if you reread all the posts, you will discover that MOST people are trying to tell you to make decisions about your MARRIAGE - do something to improve the situation you're currently in, the one that is clearly making you unhappy. That has nothing to do with telling her per se, but everything to do with confronting the issues between you and your wife bravely and head-on. At the VERY least. People are trying to get you to make an effort to do something actively to make your lives better - both you and your wife - rather than blandly sniping at her and saying this is all there is to our marriage because she's not capable of more. How will you know unless you try? Do you think you're capable of more? You seem to, so why not do it? If that's considered ripping you a new one then so be it, but I'd consider that pretty thin-skinned.

[Tomcat33]

Excellent points Serial Muse, well said.

 

FH we all seem to be suggesting the same thing for you, I don't see why you would not want something better for you? The situation as it is lead you to stray, whether you want to believe it happened willingly or not, the fact of the matter is there was room for your heart to open up to another person that is not your W. That is the warning sign something is just not right at home.

 

Do you think you're capable of more? You seem to, so why not do it?

 

I could be way off but the sense I get is that FH actually might feel HE is not capable of more, perhaps this is less about his W and more about what he is refusing to put into it. There is a reason behind why he is refusing to give more, which he needs to figure out...if he hasn't already.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Yeah your W knew you were talking to this woman for whatever the reason were that you were in contact with her to begin with (what you choose not to get into here publicly) be it business related to your line of work or because you met her on a support group of sorts, then your W wouldn't question you on it PERHAPS because she trusted that you were helping this woman out in a platonic way. You abused her trust and on top of it are trying to say she "saw what was happening and chose to ignore it"!?!? So in other words you are implying your W knew you were with this OW and she payed a blind eye so it's ok?

 

C'mon how many more ways are you going to try to excuse your A? You don't want to tell your wife, fine don't tell her but you have convinced yourself that just because your W never questioned what you did that everything that happened was ok and no harm done to anyone, because your W doesn't really care anyway. And now you you are trying to convince everyone else of this too? The reason it feels people are jumping on you here is because the picture we get is a different one from our end.

 

At the end of the day I read your posts and to me you are screaming out for help I don't even think you realise this, the person you want to reach out to you the most is your W and you paint her in a way which appears that no matter how much you would want to change your situation at home she would not respond. Unless she has a mental illness which is why you resorted to these other forums in the first place and your W cannot and will not do a thing to change her end of your marriage's situation, then I think you owe it to yourself and to her to reach out to her and see how you could grow from your new found knowledge. How do you even know she is not willing to meet your needs? Again I am not saying tell her what happened, if you can live with the secret and use it to benfit your situation at home then that's fine. What was the point of having this A if you are just going to burry it and then go back to your marriage and leave it exactly as it was? Unless of course you intend on doing this again somewhere down the road with another woman, then I can see why you would wish to do NOTHING from it. OR unless you just wanted a fling, and you have assured us that was not the case.

 

So what do plan to do from what life has put in your path? Nothing?

 

 

I was helping her out in a platonic way initially. I had no inkling what would become of everything. I wasn't implying that anything was "ok". It's not ok that what happened ended up happening but it did.

 

I think more harm would be done if I didn't let it all go and move on for everyone involved in my life. I'm not sure what picture you all get really so I don't mind you trying to "jump" on me really. You might not really understand anyway.

 

My wife doesn't have any sort of illness, mental or otherwise. That was not what anything was about. I'm really starting to get comfortable actually with a lot of the feedback I'm getting from many here and I guess I might as well tell the whole story and then see what is said. You guys might not understand fully and I would like to hear what you think when you do. You probably won't change your tune much but whatever. I want to hear it anyway.

 

I don't really even see that what happened was an "a", not really.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Excellent points Serial Muse, well said.

 

FH we all seem to be suggesting the same thing for you, I don't see why you would not want something better for you? The situation as it is lead you to stray, whether you want to believe it happened willingly or not, the fact of the matter is there was room for your heart to open up to another person that is not your W. That is the warning sign something is just not right at home.

 

 

 

I could be way off but the sense I get is that FH actually might feel HE is not capable of more, perhaps this is less about his W and more about what he is refusing to put into it. There is a reason behind why he is refusing to give more, which he needs to figure out...if he hasn't already.

 

Everything isn't right at home. But what does that mean? It was never perfect and it still isn't and it never will be. I can either accept that or I can't. My marriage isn't perfect and I know of none that are. But I choose to stay in it because she is my wife and my companion of all these years and I love her.

I'll explain the whole thing later today about what exactly happened and why. I'd be curious to hear what you think then. It probably won't change much for anyone else but atleast you guys will know exactly how I look at all of this and why I'm ok with letting it go.

I sort of look at this like why would I want to hurt her by telling her? If she just had an "A" and called it off I'm not too sure I would want to know a damned thing about it but once she told me I'd be all F'd up for a good while. I really think it's better to keep my mouth shut and never let it happen again.

[OpenBook]

The situation as it is lead you to stray, whether you want to believe it happened willingly or not, the fact of the matter is there was room for your heart to open up to another person that is not your W. That is the warning sign something is just not right at home.

 

I could be way off but the sense I get is that FH actually might feel HE is not capable of more, perhaps this is less about his W and more about what he is refusing to put into it. There is a reason behind why he is refusing to give more, which he needs to figure out...if he hasn't already.

 

Or maybe it IS about his W. Maybe he feels he is not capable of putting more into HER - but with another person it might be different. I think many MM tend to get lazy in their marriages. Simply because they know their W's so well. Everything is familiar, and comfortable.

 

I'm not sure I agree with you that opening up his heart to another was a warning sign that something wasn't right at home. There is no way a person can expect to sustain the same romantic "high" with a W he's been married to for a number of years. Maybe that's what he means when he says everything's fine, he doesn't expect anything more out of the M, and there's no reason to put more effort into it.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Or maybe it IS about his W. Maybe he feels he is not capable of putting more into HER - but with another person it might be different. I think many MM tend to get lazy in their marriages. Simply because they know their W's so well. Everything is familiar, and comfortable.

 

I'm not sure I agree with you that opening up his heart to another was a warning sign that something wasn't right at home. There is no way a person can expect to sustain the same romantic "high" with a W he's been married to for a number of years. Maybe that's what he means when he says everything's fine, he doesn't expect anything more out of the M, and there's no reason to put more effort into it.

 

That's pretty much true. We can't perform miracles. The M is what it is and thankfully it isn't that bad at all.

As far as the OW goes, **** happens. It's really just about that simple.

The last thing either one of us would need would be to have some shrink or whatever psycho-analyzing everything and driving us totally insane, lol! They would probably try to read all sorts of crap into everything based on some theory they read somewhere. Still I wouldn't be that against going to such a thing because it would probably be fun in a way but I really don't think it would be beneficial in the long run. We would end up pretty much learning what we already know.