The OW can actually save a marriage...

[Lizzie60]

I feel that sometimes it takes an "incident" sort of say to make you relize how good or bad your marriage is. My thread was "Pregnant and Husband gets lapdance". My marriage is so much better than it was before and the SEX is more amazing than ever!!

 

I don't quite see a 'lapdance and/or looking at a stripper' as 'cheating'.

[CATENZA]

NO, i didn't say cheating.. I said incident! Something to shake the relationship.. A wake up call!!

[michelangelo]

I don't know where you live but where I am, there are NO poor people around me... when I say 'well-off' I mean they are upper-middle class not millionnaires.

 

Sex could be a hobby... no? LOL

 

I live in California. We have some of the riches places in the world. Despite that MOST people are not rich.

 

But you know that is beside the point.

 

The resources and time spend focused on an illicit affair are taken away from the family.

 

Sure, sex can be a hobby. But if someone married takes up sport sex with others, it is not a laughing moment for their spouse and kids. It is more likely to induce a post-traumatic stress induced depression.

 

Whatever these men tell you about you being their sexual Florence Nightengale is total BS. Until their spouse greenlights the affairs directly to you, all you have are a MM's lies to assure you how great it is they are with you.

[Sheba]

I think one of your basic premises may be a mistake, Lizzie. You have said repeatedly that these men would not be with you if their wives would give them sex or more of it. In saying that, you are forgetting that you really don't know what goes on in their marriages. You only know what they tell you, which is not necessarily the truth.

 

Perhaps the stories about deprivation that these men tell you are what they say so they can feel "good" about cheating and what you choose to believe so that you can feel good about your role.

[Lizzie60]

Whatever these men tell you about you being their sexual Florence Nightengale is total BS. Until their spouse greenlights the affairs directly to you, all you have are a MM's lies to assure you how great it is they are with you.

 

I don't think so... I hear the same 'BS' (as you call it) from my single guys (and one of them btw is millionnaire...my only one LOL) so if I wasn't good... I don't think they would waste their time, energy and money on me....sorry.

[Lizzie60]

I think one of your basic premises may be a mistake, Lizzie. You have said repeatedly that these men would not be with you if their wives would give them sex or more of it. In saying that, you are forgetting that you really don't know what goes on in their marriages. You only know what they tell you, which is not necessarily the truth.

 

Perhaps the stories about deprivation that these men tell you are what they say so they can feel "good" about cheating and what you choose to believe so that you can feel good about your role.

 

but some of my MMs (and some I had but not seeing anymore) are saying that their sex life is great... only a few tell me it sucks... and I do believe them... why would they lie to me? we are not emotionally connected so... they can tell me like it is, really... they have no reason to lie to me.

[torranceshipman]

But to be fair Lizzie, all of the guys that you are involved with are all cheaters, lol, so to be fair they'll come out with the same BS!

 

Ifyou dated truly single guys and were in a serious relationship with them, and you typically went for really great guys with strong morals, full of respect, you'd take a different view, because you'd be hanging out with a completely different type of guy.

 

There are just different types of people in the world, but if you hone in on the cheaters, you'll get the standard cheater BS every time!

[michelangelo]

but some of my MMs (and some I had but not seeing anymore) are saying that their sex life is great... only a few tell me it sucks... and I do believe them... why would they lie to me? we are not emotionally connected so... they can tell me like it is, really... they have no reason to lie to me.

 

I would think you've already figured out that MM lie to escorts and while they do that they are also lying to themselves. You are not their confessor.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Ifyou dated truly single guys and were in a serious relationship with them, and you typically went for really great guys with strong morals, full of respect, you'd take a different view, because you'd be hanging out with a completely different type of guy.

 

Why on earth would a decent single guy with morals need to pay for sex???

 

And you are right (this time) lizzie, not all MM who cheat are not being deprived sex when EVER they want it at home. You've stated that if their wives gave them sex they would have no reason for you but you are dead wrong in SOME instances.

 

How on earth are you going to receive that feeling of being desired when because of age, beauty fails you? What then?

[PoshPrincess]

I would think she is happy... she's not bothered with the sex issue anymore... everything else works fine.

 

Yes, Lizzie, but she is only happy in her ignorance. If she knew of the A, she wouldn't be so happy then, whether her H was pestering her for sex or not!

[Havn_a_life]

Whatever these men tell you about you being their sexual Florence Nightengale is total BS. Until their spouse greenlights the affairs directly to you, all you have are a MM's lies to assure you how great it is they are with you.

 

I don't think so... I hear the same 'BS' (as you call it) from my single guys (and one of them btw is millionnaire...my only one LOL) so if I wasn't good... I don't think they would waste their time, energy and money on me....sorry.

 

I'm just wondering, Lizzie. Are you a former Heidi Fleiss "girl" ? You talk a awful lot about your MMs and your millionaires. Didn't you also say your are 55?

Shouldn't you have grandchildren by now?

Also,

Do you actually take money from all these men just because you are having sex with them?

That to me is called something other than an OW.

[Lizzie60]

Ifyou dated truly single guys and were in a serious relationship with them, and you typically went for really great guys with strong morals, full of respect, you'd take a different view, because you'd be hanging out with a completely different type of guy.

 

Why on earth would a decent single guy with morals need to pay for sex???

 

And you are right (this time) lizzie, not all MM who cheat are not being deprived sex when EVER they want it at home. You've stated that if their wives gave them sex they would have no reason for you but you are dead wrong in SOME instances.

 

How on earth are you going to receive that feeling of being desired when because of age, beauty fails you? What then?

 

Some guys cheated even if they have great sex at home...because they want more...

 

When I get older (which I am btw) I will deal with that issue ... I'm not even worrying about that. I sometimes talk about that to my MMs....

[Lizzie60]

I would think she is happy... she's not bothered with the sex issue anymore... everything else works fine.

 

Yes, Lizzie, but she is only happy in her ignorance. If she knew of the A, she wouldn't be so happy then, whether her H was pestering her for sex or not!

 

Are you unhappy at things you don't know?

I'm not stupid.. of course she would be unhappy if she knew...but she won't.

[Havn_a_life]

I'm not exclusively seeing MMs... I have many single guy friends as well...but the problem with them.. is that, after a while, they want more, they cling more... except a few who just enjoy sex...

 

I have lost some guys like that, they wanted more and I just don't want to give more... plus I would have to give up my lifestyle...no way... they would want the exclusivity...and there is no way I will give up my 'harem' LOL

 

MMs don't ask for exclusivity...they just can't...they know I'm single and I will not wait for them by the phone. They don't cling... they come and go, they don't question me. They are always on their best behaviour, they are sweet.... and they are much better lovers...

 

and yes, I use protection... and one thing my MMs like about me... I am extremely clean... my house is spotless so they feel much safer with me and they don't feel threaten by me... I would never ever stalk them...or try to hurt their family... and if I call them (which is extremely rare) and they can't talk, they simply say 'sorry you got the wrong number'... I get the message.

 

What does it say about you as a person when you literally brag about seeing/having sex with all the guys you are saying you do?

 

God, I just hope you're having protected sex. And you're 55 yrs old? Haven't you learned anything in life?

 

I know what it means. I just am too nice to say it.

[Havn_a_life]

Are you unhappy at things you don't know?

I'm not stupid.. of course she would be unhappy if she knew...but she won't.

 

A word is coming to my head as I read this posters "stuff".

 

I'm thinking Troll ?

[nittygritty]

Why is the divorce rate so high if having sex with someone other than your spouse will supposedly save a marriage?

[Lizzie60]

I'm just wondering, Lizzie. Are you a former Heidi Fleiss "girl" ? You talk a awful lot about your MMs and your millionaires. Didn't you also say your are 55?

Shouldn't you have grandchildren by now?

Also,

Do you actually take money from all these men just because you are having sex with them?

That to me is called something other than an OW.

 

No I'm not a former Fleiss girl.. LOL

Yes I do see many MMs but only one millionnaire (he's single btw, 37 and very good-looking) I posted about him previously.

 

I am almost 55 (in 2 weeks)... I will have a beautiful grandkid in November (I can't wait)...

Yes I do take money, perfume, flowers, computers, trips to Mexico, etc... from my men.

but I still see myself as OW... since we see all of them on a regular basis we are now good friends.

[Lizzie60]

Why is the divorce rate so high if having sex with someone other than your spouse will supposedly save a marriage?

 

in those cases... the affair is not just about sex...it's emotional... then it does sometimes end up in a divorce.

[quankanne]

affairs aren't just about emotional bonding or sexual gratification, but about shattering trust between a married couple, which exists no matter how tenuous.

 

not sure what's so fine and dandy about being a sperm recepticle for someone who has no respect for you or his wife :confused:

[bish]

Okay bish...calm down. For some reason I think this is exactly why this topic was posted. I'm on your side.....

 

I can't stand the thought of my husbands OW, but I don't think I could ever really wish this to happen to her. If she ever fully realizes the pain she has helped inflict and the remorse, then that would be enough.

 

 

Sure it would be enough. But that won't happen with Lizzie. She does NOT feel remorse for what she is doing. She sees nothing wrong with sleeping with someone elses husband and in fact, as evidenced by this thread, she thinks it is a wonderful thing for a marriage to sleep with someone elses husband.

 

So maybe if this happens to her daughter and her daughter is distraught and in pain, she might see it.

 

and if not, the damn, what can I say, I'd feel sorry for her daughter.

[bish]

And I do have to say that sometimes Lizzie, you do say some very thoughtful and wonderful things. But then this, it just seems really twisted to me. And yes, we all are entitled to our own opinions.

I just don't even know what to say anymore....

 

This only proves one thing... that OW are also human beings... and could be 'good people'..

 

Yup, sleeping with other men's husband. Exactly the thing sainthood is made of.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I think, when it comes to father’s, a lot of people just don’t realize what an important role they play in their daughters’ lives. That, as the first and most significant male role model in their formidable years, how what Daddy does sets a precedence for the kind of men and relationships their daughters subconsciously gravitate towards out of “familiarity” later on. That how Daddy loves and respects Mommy; how Daddy teaches his daughters (through example) how they should and deserve to be treated, loved, and respected by men ... makes all the difference in the world when it comes to choices his daughter makes for herself and her own daughters later on.

 

If Daddy has multiple addictions, and chooses to trade quality time with his family to snuggle bottles and women, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things whether or not these things made HIM happy? Did they make Lizzie’s Daddy a better Husband ... a better Father(???)

 

And did Daddy’s addictions “rejuvenate” her parent’s marriage, keep the happy family together ... or did they destroy it? Was the problem with the relationship the fact that Mommy found out ... or that Mommy got rid of the problem. (???)

 

Even more confusing is ... who do we thank? Daddy, for doing everything he could to stay happy and sweep his issues under the carpet ... or do we thank Daddy’s bartender and mistress/es for helping to keep him feeling happy and “rejuvenated” while stuck at home with the wife and kiddies for a while?

 

I like Lizzie, and while I may not agree with her perspective on relationships, I understand exactly where they’re coming from. For fifty-five years she hasn’t experienced anything different with the men in her life than what already knows. And I can even say the same of myself. How many of us haven’t, at some point in our lives, equated comfort and happiness with familiarity.

 

However, I must admit, that a big part of me right now wants to b*tch-slap the crap outta her father. And although it would make me really, really HAPPY ... my pesky conscious (a.k.a. residual Catholic guilt) prevents me from deliberately doing harm to others while trying to label it a “good deed.”

[nittygritty]

Just because a marriage does not end in divorce does not mean that the marriage has any redeeming qualities. Living free of having to always worry about what your supposed partner is doing all the time is a better quality of life, IMO.

 

Living with someone who has a sexual addiction is very much like living with a drug addict, alcoholic or gambler. Just because the family doesn't talk about the pink elephant doesn't mean that they are unaware of what the problem is.

 

A spouse who remains in a loveless marriage with someone who can't be trusted is usually passive aggressively continually paying the offender back. They are going to spend as much of their money as they can and make their lives a living hell, for the sake of the kids. Everyone is effected by betrayal.

 

I don't care how strong of a denial system a person has, eventually you know when your spouse is having sex with someone else. Staying married to an unreformed cheater damages everyone in the immediate family. The kids grow up with distorted views of how to conduct themselves in a relationship and what is acceptable and unacceptable. The unoffending spouse is usually depressed and full of anger and resentment.

 

What kind of marriage is the OW or OM saving?

[Havn_a_life]

No I'm not a former Fleiss girl.. LOL

Yes I do see many MMs but only one millionnaire (he's single btw, 37 and very good-looking) I posted about him previously.

 

I am almost 55 (in 2 weeks)... I will have a beautiful grandkid in November (I can't wait)...

Yes I do take money, perfume, flowers, computers, trips to Mexico, etc... from my men.

but I still see myself as OW... since we see all of them on a regular basis we are now good friends.

 

Sorry if this offends you, Lizzie, but where I come from you are known as a call girl or a personal escort, not an OW. There is a difference.

Being, the OW is someone who does what she does with the MM and she expects him to leave the W for her, the OW, whenever that happens, if it ever does.

A call girl just makes money, tips, whatever from her "john" or plural thereof. As is an escort. they don't look at it as a R, but as an easy way to pay the bills and get a few perks in between.

[Lizzie60]

Sorry if this offends you, Lizzie, but where I come from you are known as a call girl or a personal escort, not an OW. There is a difference.

Being, the OW is someone who does what she does with the MM and she expects him to leave the W for her, the OW, whenever that happens, if it ever does.

A call girl just makes money, tips, whatever from her "john" or plural thereof. As is an escort. they don't look at it as a R, but as an easy way to pay the bills and get a few perks in between.

 

Well we have different opinion on that one...

 

I don't think that being an OW or OM automatically make you someone who wants your MM or MW to leave their husband/wife... I disagree... sometimes they (OW and MM) just want it the way it is... each with their own family or if one is single (like me) wants to remain single...