The OW can actually save a marriage...

[bish]

There ARE men who don't cheat you know.

 

They are very very few... maybe 1-2%...

 

 

Well hell then, it feels damn good to be in that small minority of decent people.

[lonelybird]

This only proves one thing... that OW are also human beings... and could be 'good people'...

 

.

Define "good people" please? Ok, no one said OW isn't human beings. As long as we are human being, we make mistakes, one mistake cannot define a person. But this doesn't mean you should continue the mistake.

 

Justify the mistake cannot make you a good person either. Deep down your conscience still know that you did wrong.

 

Accept that you made mistakes, and regret, are much decent than denying everything

[luvmy2ns]

There ARE men who don't cheat you know.

 

They are very very few... maybe 1-2%...

 

I guess you might think so if you've already screwed the other 98% of the male population in the world.

 

How about finding one who would have sex with you without paying you?

 

I have that too... the manager from work... he has no clue I'm seeing other guys.

 

So you're being deceitful with him as well? Go figure.

[Lizzie60]

Well hell then, it feels damn good to be in that small minority of decent people.

 

I thought you were a woman... you're a guy then? oh my my

[greengoddess]

There ARE men who don't cheat you know.

 

They are very very few... maybe 1-2%...

 

I can spot a cheater from a mile away. Never been with one.

 

No you can't absolutely nobody can... sorry that's a load of BS, get real.

 

How about finding one who would have sex with you without paying you?

 

I have that too... the manager from work... he has no clue I'm seeing other guys.

 

 

My god lizzie what have you come on to every married man to come up with that statistic?

Why are you so attracted to married men? You have a minimum of 3 and stopped talking there. I am not attacking but asking. How do you have time for these men? Why do you want all this sex with no attachment? Do you get gifts or financial support? One man you said was scared and shy did you persue him and now he's hooked? Honestly I am curious.

Did you have a horrendous childhood problem to make you detach emotion from sex?

[Sheba]

Lizzie,

 

I have no wish to bash you, however I simply don't accept what you are saying. I feel that you have constructed a reality for yourself so that you feel OK about your choices.

 

I do think those men have a motive to lie to you. Part of the fantasy is that it is not a sordid little betrayal but something more refined. They tell you whatever they think sounds good and whatever they believe you would prefer to hear.

 

I do see your posts on this thread as a string of rationalizations, and I wonder the mere fact you started it is because you are struggling. It must be difficult to be a smart and kind woman and yet have this occupation (?) that prevents you from fitting fully into ordinary society with all the respect that would be yours if you were an accountant (or nurse, or whatever). You must feel isolated at times, despite all the company of these men. Especially from other women - my female friends are so wonderful, I can't imagine life without them.

 

What do you see yourself doing in 10 or 15 years?

 

Are you really, truly happy now?

[luvmy2ns]

The thing is, greengoddess, that some people don't care whose lives they crush under their heel in order to get the almighty dollar or some twisted sense of validation because they feel they are irresistable to men. The funny thing is, a good man would turn away in disgust at such a woman. I know several who would find her absolutely revolting, knowing how many different men she regularly spreads her legs for. She's only meeting the self serving, materialistic, a** hole types. Therefore, her statistics are very much skewed and come from an obviously shallow gene pool.

[Lizzie60]

My god lizzie what have you come on to every married man to come up with that statistic?

Why are you so attracted to married men? You have a minimum of 3 and stopped talking there. I am not attacking but asking. How do you have time for these men? Why do you want all this sex with no attachment? Do you get gifts or financial support? One man you said was scared and shy did you persue him and now he's hooked? Honestly I am curious.

Did you have a horrendous childhood problem to make you detach emotion from sex?

 

I have already said why I prefer MMs...in a previous post... they don't cling, there is no commitment, they are sweet and very generous... I've also talked about that in a previous post. I live alone... I work till 1:30 every day... so I have all afternoon and all evenings...all weekends... I have lots of time for that.

 

This guy is not hooked... he likes me a lot... but I know he can control himself... he won't fall head over heels for me... we see each other more often and that's OK.. cause I really like this guy...he is sweet, extremely funny and a great lover... He is scared to get caught... He still hasn't tell me what he does for a living (but I guessed he's a cop)...

 

I can detach love from sex just since about 5 years now... since I left my second ex... It took a while after I left him to fall on my feet but once I did... I never wanted commitment... I discovered a 'new life' and I love it... I would not change it for the world.

 

In fact, some of my friends, and co-workers envy me... they know I am seeing men (they have no idea though) and even the married ones say that if they ever find themselves single again...they would lead a life like mine.

 

One of my best friend lost her husband 2 1/2 years ago... she is also on a sex rampage... and she loves every minute of her single life.... She won't touch married guys but I doubt that one of the guy she's been seeing for over a year now... is attached... but she denies it. It's her life.

 

So I can't really blame my childhood since I was in long-term relationship most of my adult life. I've just been single for the last 6 years. I was quite happy in general, during my relationships...

 

I don't think that sexual people have necessarily suffered in their childhood...it could be hormonal in my case.. I have no idea.

[mopar crazy]

Lizzie, sorry to be so blunt here but you are nothing but a whore. You are only having sex w/ these men but yet you are accepting gifts and trips w/ them. It cost the MM $ and he is giving it to you b/c he is screwing you. That is a whore.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie,

 

I have no wish to bash you, however I simply don't accept what you are saying. I feel that you have constructed a reality for yourself so that you feel OK about your choices.

 

I do think those men have a motive to lie to you. Part of the fantasy is that it is not a sordid little betrayal but something more refined. They tell you whatever they think sounds good and whatever they believe you would prefer to hear.

 

I do see your posts on this thread as a string of rationalizations, and I wonder the mere fact you started it is because you are struggling. It must be difficult to be a smart and kind woman and yet have this occupation (?) that prevents you from fitting fully into ordinary society with all the respect that would be yours if you were an accountant (or nurse, or whatever). You must feel isolated at times, despite all the company of these men. Especially from other women - my female friends are so wonderful, I can't imagine life without them.

 

What do you see yourself doing in 10 or 15 years?

 

Are you really, truly happy now?

 

Honestly, I don't believe they are lying to me.. why would they? These are PA... and no... I'm not struggling...struggling about what?

 

that prevents you from fitting fully into ordinary society with all the respect that would be yours if you were an accountant (or nurse, or whatever).

 

I do fit into an ordinary society... I have a great job... I supervised seven graphic designers at the government level... no one knows about my life outside work... that's not their business... do you talk about your private sexual life at work? I don't.

 

You must feel isolated at times, despite all the company of these men. Especially from other women - my female friends are so wonderful, I can't imagine life without them.

 

Not at all... I love being alone... My best friends are female. They are my most precious treasures after my children. I've had one for over 51 years, and the other for over 45 years... they're like the sisters I never had.

 

What do you see yourself doing in 10 or 15 years?

 

Being a grandmother... LOL... retired and taking care of them, there are so much one can do to keep busy... volunteering, hobbies, grandkids, etc. I have no worry about that, plus I am rather a loner, so I am never lonely... never.

 

Are you really, truly happy now?

 

I am honestly, truly happy now... the happiest I've ever been in my life...really. For now, I wouldn't change one thing. It's perfect.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie, sorry to be so blunt here but you are nothing but a whore. You are only having sex w/ these men but yet you are accepting gifts and trips w/ them. It cost the MM $ and he is giving it to you b/c he is screwing you. That is a whore.

 

then there are lots of whores out there...

 

who allow their husbands to walk all over them for financial security... at least my guys are good to me... LOL

[luvmy2ns]

I am honestly, truly happy now... the happiest I've ever been in my life...really. For now, I wouldn't change one thing. It's perfect.

 

Then maybe all the BS's you've helped create by giving their MM's a nice, safe place to have extramarital sex will get lucky, and a big ol' well-earned lightning bolt will come out of the sky and fry you one day soon.

[luvmy2ns]

then there are lots of whores out there...

 

who allow their husbands to walk all over them for financial security... at least my guys are good to me... LOL

 

You are one sick ticket. These women expect something from the MM's HEART and SOUL like they promised on their wedding day. Of course they're good to you. The only demands you put on them is their money and their dick.

[mopar crazy]

You are one sick ticket. These women expect something from the MM's HEART and SOUL like they promised on their wedding day. Of course they're good to you. The only demands you put on them is their money and their dick.

 

 

LOL! You're right! She is sick and twisted.

 

Lizzie, I do not allow my H to walk all over me and we certaintly aren't M b/c of financial reasons.

 

A man who buys nice things for his W does not make her a whore!

 

I think you need to look up the definition of whore.

[PoshPrincess]

Lizzie, sorry to be so blunt here but you are nothing but a whore. You are only having sex w/ these men but yet you are accepting gifts and trips w/ them. It cost the MM $ and he is giving it to you b/c he is screwing you. That is a whore.

 

Well said!

 

And to the person who said Lizzie wouldn't know a man with class if he came up and bit her on the a*** - a man with any class whatsoever wouldn't want to know HER anyway!

[Woggle]

From what I read it seems that Lizzie's dad cheated on and abused her mom and she was an OW at age 15 which means that the MM was a child molestor. It is not hard to see where this comes from.

[Herzen]

 

Well said!

 

And to the person who said Lizzie wouldn't know a man with class if he came up and bit her on the a*** - a man with any class whatsoever wouldn't want to know HER anyway!

 

So no man with class would want to "know" Lizzie. The circularity of the insult is obvious. Any guy who wanted to "know" Lizzy is deemed to lack "class." Lizzie can't win that argument, and neither can the weak willed male--regardless of his contributions to society and home.

 

I suspect that many men have known Lizzie and certainly not all lack "class" whatever that means. Could any man with "class" sleep with Lizzie? You bet.

 

Lizzie is a stark reminder that sometimes "bad" girls do well. She's simply refuses to play by any approved script with the typical VH-1 story arc--girl with potential, sexual promiscuity, degradation, life at the bottom, awareness of her self-destructive ways, genuine repentance and salvation in the arms of her loving and forgiving husband in a happily ever after monogamous relationship.

 

Lizzy's counter-script drives many folks crazy. Jesus didn't die for Lizzy's sins.

 

Is that my choice?

 

No. Still, she's intriguing as every man's mistress.

[raincloud]

then there are lots of whores out there...

 

who allow their husbands to walk all over them for financial security... at least my guys are good to me... LOL

 

 

That's just wrong.....

[Sheba]

Herzen - with the greatest respect, I think you are falling for a line.

 

I do give Lizzie full marks for consistency and perseverance (especially through all that has been said on this thread!), however I remain convinced that she is rationalizing.

 

I am a working mother. I have read remarks on this forum that slam working mothers. I could start a thread called "Working mothers raise better children" and then recite how all the working mothers I know have great children. I could use examples of people that I know and recite some numerical assessments, etc and so on ad infinitum.....

 

However - why would I even start such a thread? To convince others that my choice is a good one, presumably. Why would I need to convince others of that? Well....call me Dr. WannabeFreud, but I think I would start it to convince myself.

 

Lizzie does not give an inch. She is insistent that her relationships with men don't harm and haven't harmed anyone. The men are all very nice, according to her. She blames wives who are unloving. She recites outrageous statistics (98% of men?). Nothing she says can be proven or disproven. And, she paints too rosy a picture of the whole thing.

 

I find what I see of Lizzie on these boards to be very interesting. She is mainly a great participant. I am just having a lot of trouble with her motives for starting the thread. And, her determined insistence that no one is being hurt lacks the ring of truth.

 

I would love to see what Lizzie would write if she got really drunk and started posting....

[Herzen]

Herzen - with the greatest respect, I think you are falling for a line.

 

I do give Lizzie full marks for consistency and perseverance (especially through all that has been said on this thread!), however I remain convinced that she is rationalizing.

 

I am a working mother. I have read remarks on this forum that slam working mothers. I could start a thread called "Working mothers raise better children" and then recite how all the working mothers I know have great children. I could use examples of people that I know and recite some numerical assessments, etc and so on ad infinitum.....

 

However - why would I even start such a thread? To convince others that my choice is a good one, presumably. Why would I need to convince others of that? Well....call me Dr. WannabeFreud, but I think I would start it to convince myself.

 

Lizzie does not give an inch. She is insistent that her relationships with men don't harm and haven't harmed anyone. The men are all very nice, according to her. She blames wives who are unloving. She recites outrageous statistics (98% of men?). Nothing she says can be proven or disproven. And, she paints too rosy a picture of the whole thing.

 

I find what I see of Lizzie on these boards to be very interesting. She is mainly a great participant. I am just having a lot of trouble with her motives for starting the thread. And, her determined insistence that no one is being hurt lacks the ring of truth.

 

I would love to see what Lizzie would write if she got really drunk and started posting....

 

Sheba, you wrote the rebuttal I feared most. Do I have a come back? No.

 

I cannot disagree with you on a single point.

 

What we all must remember, me most of all, is that real people get hurt when boundaries are crossed. I of all people should know that.

 

I withdraw my previous post.

 

Thanks, Sheba, for slapping me.

[luvmy2ns]

What we all must remember, me most of all, is that real people get hurt when boundaries are crossed. I of all people should know that.

 

This is the true point, and one which seems to have been lost in all of this "but they'll never find out" talk.

 

In a separate thread, I pointed out that if a person is willing to sh-t on others simply because they'll never find out (they hope) then is that what they do to their loved ones? This world would be a much better place if we did NOT sh-t on others just because they might not find out, and also because we don't know them. Why would I want to participate in the potential hurting of a person who has never done anything to hurt me? Because I'm a self-serving, selfish person who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Oh, and 'cause I want the $$$.

 

Not very good reasons.

[Lizzie60]

Herzen - with the greatest respect, I think you are falling for a line.

 

I do give Lizzie full marks for consistency and perseverance (especially through all that has been said on this thread!), however I remain convinced that she is rationalizing.

 

I am a working mother. I have read remarks on this forum that slam working mothers. I could start a thread called "Working mothers raise better children" and then recite how all the working mothers I know have great children. I could use examples of people that I know and recite some numerical assessments, etc and so on ad infinitum.....

 

However - why would I even start such a thread? To convince others that my choice is a good one, presumably. Why would I need to convince others of that? Well....call me Dr. WannabeFreud, but I think I would start it to convince myself.

 

Lizzie does not give an inch. She is insistent that her relationships with men don't harm and haven't harmed anyone. The men are all very nice, according to her. She blames wives who are unloving. She recites outrageous statistics (98% of men?). Nothing she says can be proven or disproven. And, she paints too rosy a picture of the whole thing.

 

I find what I see of Lizzie on these boards to be very interesting. She is mainly a great participant. I am just having a lot of trouble with her motives for starting the thread. And, her determined insistence that no one is being hurt lacks the ring of truth.

 

I would love to see what Lizzie would write if she got really drunk and started posting....

 

When you say:

 

However - why would I even start such a thread? To convince others that my choice is a good one, presumably. Why would I need to convince others of that? Well....call me Dr. WannabeFreud, but I think I would start it to convince myself.

 

I am just having a lot of trouble with her motives for starting the thread.

 

Why not?

 

BS start threads all the time to bash OW... etc...

 

I am not trying to convince anyone.... to each our own... I am just posting my opinions... simple. I can point out numerous threads that I can question why it's been posted...

 

Do we question the motive of every thread that are posted on the boards... I don't think so.

 

I don't get this:

 

I would love to see what Lizzie would write if she got really drunk and started posting....

 

I don't drink... but why would I post differently... are drunk people more 'real'.... LOL I don't think so. They could be 'nastier' though.

[whichwayisup]

BS start threads all the time to bash OW... etc...

 

No, Most BS's here who are regulars start their own threads to let loose about their husband's OW. Big difference.

[TogetherForever]

No, Most BS's here who are regulars start their own threads to let loose about their husband's OW. Big difference.

 

Same difference maybe?

[Sheba]

Lizzie

 

My remark about getting drunk was mostly in jest. However, alcohol does lower inhibitions and so sometimes people reveal some deep, dark worry or hidden truth while drunk.

 

I have noticed some threads that are specifically "bashing threads", on a variety of topics. I have even been suckered into responding to a couple! I wouldn't consider your thread that, however.