NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 A cheater almost by definition has no respect for ... the OW that he is seeing.. Art I hope you don't mind my doctored quote above. It just seems that Lizzie thinks she's getting respect when she clearly isn't. These guys have told her their W's personal business. What makes her think that should she be unable to "service" them sexually that they would even be affected. She has shown them that she only wants sex. Not love. Not empathy. Nothing but sex. Lizzie, I know your profile *says* you are in Canada, but you have a twin in Virginia. Carbon copy. Lifestyle included. Link to post Share on other sites
Sheba Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 And, forgive me if I am terribly wrong, Lizzie, but did you not once say that you are a paid escort? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Lizzy, Would give the advice to your own daughter that instead of fixing the marriage ( if her marriage was in trouble ) that she should cheat on her husband ? Would you give the advice for her to break the very vows she took when she married him ? First of all, my daughter is not married... she might eventually because her boyfriend wants to .. and for the financial aspect (here in Quebec, if they are together 20 years and he dies, she has no rights to his pension plan, in Ontario it's a different story...but here in Quebec the women get ripped off)...anyway.... He's more romantic than she is... (I wonder where she got that trait LOL) Of course I would advised my daughter to try to fix her marriage... if it's 'fixable' and they both want to fix it (many times, it's the case though). OK... I'll try to explain it this way...with my own story... When I was with my first ex... I was miserable in a way because I didn't love him anymore... I didn't want to be intimate with him at all... I was disgusted when we had sex...it was that bad.. Anyway, everything else was fine... we were well-off, had our children...blablabla...but I wasn't happy sexually... I was fantasizing about other guys... I even told him to get a mistress, so he could leave me alone... I wanted an 'open marriage' kind of deal.. but he didn't... so one of my best friend... who had cheated on his ex a few times... advised me to have an affair... I didn't because at the time, it scared me. If she is really unhappy and she is not sure what to do...then maybe have an affair might help you decide what you really want... if every other avenue has been looked at. I don't believe in marriage except if it's convenient financially (law) other than that it's crap IMO, it's only a piece of paper. I was 18 years with my first ex, never got married, we lived in Ontario, had a son together... so financially the law protected the common-law spouse in case of a break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 A cheater almost by definition has no respect for his wife and children as well as the OW that he is seeing.. NO, NO, NO, AC if the wife doesn't find out then the cheater is respecting his wife, it only becomes disrespect if the wife becomes aware. Otherwise Lizzy could sign up for a gift registery so that these women could send gifts of appreciation to her for fixing their marraige .... but only if they DONT know... God I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 These women have real emotional and physical problems and this is how their H's help them. By helping themselves. And THEN on top of all of that, they tell Lizzie that she's HELPING THEM, but Lizzie takes it as she is helping the M. Not helping the M, but definitely helping the MM. How depressing that people can be so self-centered. Have these men no problem solving abilities? ...any good when the wife sees no problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 A cheater almost by definition has no respect for his wife and children as well as the OW that he is seeing.. The MM I am seeing have a lot of respect for their wife and children... I know it sounds weird but I know that...otherwise I would not see them... I want 'good' men... not abusers or jerks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Art I hope you don't mind my doctored quote above. It just seems that Lizzie thinks she's getting respect when she clearly isn't. These guys have told her their W's personal business. What makes her think that should she be unable to "service" them sexually that they would even be affected. She has shown them that she only wants sex. Not love. Not empathy. Nothing but sex. Lizzie, I know your profile *says* you are in Canada, but you have a twin in Virginia. Carbon copy. Lifestyle included. and may I ask who that is? You? Tell me more. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 The MM I am seeing have a lot of respect for their wife and children... I know it sounds weird but I know that...otherwise I would not see them... I want 'good' men... not abusers or jerks. Seeing you is showing disrespect for his wife and kids.. If you think they have respect for their wives and kids then you are being snowed.. you are a mother....you should see that it is not a good move for the children.. It is a slap in the child's face that the cheating is happening.. let alone slapping the wife as well.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 And, forgive me if I am terribly wrong, Lizzie, but did you not once say that you are a paid escort? that they have to be very 'generous' yes... in one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Lizzie, I hope some day you will learn to love yourself. Until then you have my deepest sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 The MM I am seeing have a lot of respect for their wife and children... I know it sounds weird but I know that...otherwise I would not see them... I want 'good' men... not abusers or jerks. I'm sure his wife and kids would consider it disrespect. Remember.. just because you don't see it as disrespect to his wife and kids doesn't mean that the front the MM has provided you is real.. The truth you never hear from them.. the truth would most likely open your eyes to the disrespect issue.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Seeing you is showing disrespect for his wife and kids.. If you think they have respect for their wives and kids then you are being snowed.. you are a mother....you should see that it is not a good move for the children.. It is a slap in the child's face that the cheating is happening.. let alone slapping the wife as well.. I was 18 years with my first ex... I don't think he cheated..but I'm not 100% sure... but let's say he did... and I was unaware...how can this be a slap in my face and disrespect for my children. Sorry but I don't see it that way... I know that the MMs I'm seeing are good fathers and good husbands, I don't care what you all think... I know them.. I know what kind of life they have... they are GOOD persons... and they are very respectful... We can argue until next year about this... but I guess we'll have to agree to disagree... you will never make me change my mind.. eventhough I can see your point of view... mine is very different. Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 OK here's my point of view... If the wife (from the 2 stories I posted) are happy, they don't ask questions... they have no clue, why would they ask questions... everything is fine... they don't want sex... their husbands (who are having sex on the side) won't bother them... leave them alone, doesn't talk about it anymore... they have their good, comfortable life, with their children and their family and friends... I see nothing wrong... no one is hurting anyone... But, on the other hand if the MM is a serial cheate, has no respect for his wife.. and she finds out.. and she accepts to be hurt and to allow him to walk all over her because she can't face to loose him...then that a different story. I see a huge difference... Could it be possible that the wives from the two stories you posted are subconsciously aware that their husbands cheat and therefore don't enjoy having sex with them because they don't trust them? Cheaters are usually established liars so their partner's trust has usually been broken long before an affair. So why do your sexual partners stay married? Link to post Share on other sites
Sheba Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I have read through all of this and I stand by my comparison. Saying that cheating is OK as long as the wife doesn't know is the same as saying driving drunk is OK as long as there is no accident. Neither are ok. The risk is there. And, with cheating, the risk continues long after the events. I see Lizzie as like the bartender. She is not the drunk driver. She is saying "well,if you don't drink here, you will drink elsewhere, so I might as well let you drink here". I am sure she hopes there is no accident - she is very consistent and I believe she is sincere. I guess Lizzie, that what people are saying is that you should run your life without contributing to the risk. Sleep with single men, in other words. Open a soda shop. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 but I guess we'll have to agree to disagree... you will never make me change my mind.. eventhough I can see your point of view... mine is very different. I'll agree.. and I don't think you are the worst person on this planet either.. I may not like your lifestyle or occupational choices but I give you props for posting here honestly and I respect your viewpoint.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Oh Lizzie... your posts are bound to stir the pot up with your controversial views, but I appreciate your detremination to stand by your points, which you are most definitely entitled to. I think these threads turn into the ol' beating of the dead horse because while the majority of people cannot seperate sex from love, it appears much like those married men who are serial sexual cheaters (or not necessarily serial) she can seperate love from sex. It appears Lizzie sees it for what a lot of these men see it, simply variety in sex. I think her comparisson to a sexual fling in a marriage is akin to saying going out to strippers adds that extra spark in a rel, beacuse the man comes home excited and it spices things up for the otherwise sexually bored couple. I don't personally agree wither either scenario for my own life BUT I can tell you this much, I respect what Lizzie does more than some people who are out to usurp a partner from another human being who is married. At least she keeps the emotions out of it, the marriage is no more in danger from the man sleeping with Lizzie than it is from the H going to a strip joint. Marriage is totally over rated and to expect two people to remain monogamous for their entire lives togteher is like expecting to win the lottery, yeah sure it happens but how often? Marriage is a business difference is women buy into the whole romatic "until eternity" thing far more than men do. It appears Lizzie thinks more like a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 that they have to be very 'generous' yes... in one way or another. Wonder if insurance would pick that up as a type of Marriage Counseling!!:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
lovely01 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 hey Lizzie60 can i ask you something do you collect money for your service on making someone life a whole wreck. wake up. you make me sick. Link to post Share on other sites
raincloud Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I want 'good' men... not abusers or jerks. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 it seems to me that you are trying to justify your position (pardon the pun) and to make it all seem legit and acceptable in your mind - i just don't buy it... but hey - you can look at it any way you want to - your the one selling your body. Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 The MM I am seeing have a lot of respect for their wife and children... I know it sounds weird but I know that...otherwise I would not see them... I want 'good' men... not abusers or jerks. I've been divorced twice and my 15 year old daughter was 4 when her dad and I divorced. I knew that my ex was cheating but I didn't know who the woman was. My daughter knew who it was because when we were married her dad would take her with him sometimes to have lunch with his "friend" who became my daughter's stepmom. We had been divorced several years before my daughter told me why she has never liked her Stepmom, which I have always (still do) encouraged her to try to have a good and respectful relationship with her Stepmom. It was really heartbreaking to hear my daughter's pain over why she has had a difficult time accepting and likeing her Stepmom. The wives and kids are more aware than you may realize. I blame the cheating spouses not the OW or OM. They should leave their partners before they cheat. It is incredibly selfish for a cheating spouse to put their wives at risk of STD's, psycho harrassment and the use of family funds to support their weak ego'd adulterous lifestyle. Isn't the commitment in marriage about being monogamous? Forsaking all others, through sickness and health, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I blame the cheating spouses not the OW or OM. They should leave their partners before they cheat. It is incredibly selfish for a cheating spouse to put their wives at risk of STD's, psycho harrassment and the use of family funds to support their weak ego'd adulterous lifestyle. Isn't the commitment in marriage about being monogamous? Forsaking all others, through sickness and health, etc. Ditto!! Also, here's another thought, people often say if it weren't for the Lizzie's or OW out there men wouldn't cheat, we could just as easily turn it around and say if it weren't for cheaters OW/Lizzies would not exist. It really is a chicken and egg situation. Link to post Share on other sites
raincloud Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 I've been divorced twice and my 15 year old daughter was 4 when her dad and I divorced. I knew that my ex was cheating but I didn't know who the woman was. My daughter knew who it was because when we were married her dad would take her with him sometimes to have lunch with his "friend" who became my daughter's stepmom. We had been divorced several years before my daughter told me why she has never liked her Stepmom, which I have always (still do) encouraged her to try to have a good and respectful relationship with her Stepmom. It was really heartbreaking to hear my daughter's pain over why she has had a difficult time accepting and likeing her Stepmom. The wives and kids are more aware than you may realize. I blame the cheating spouses not the OW or OM. They should leave their partners before they cheat. It is incredibly selfish for a cheating spouse to put their wives at risk of STD's, psycho harrassment and the use of family funds to support their weak ego'd adulterous lifestyle. Isn't the commitment in marriage about being monogamous? Forsaking all others, through sickness and health, etc. I agree with you nittygritty, but I also believe the OW/OM also have to own up to their part. Especially if they know that their prospective partner is married with children. It angers me that some people have such utter disrespect for the family unit anymore...you just don't mess with someone else's territory. It is playing with fire. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 how can this be a slap in my face and disrespect for my children. My father was a serial cheater.. one of my many sisters was born out of one of his affairs as an illegitimate child. That isn't showing respect for his own daughter.. As someone who grew up watching my father cheat on both of my mothers I can tell you that it is an act of disrespect for the children as well... The pain that I felt for the hurt he caused me and my family.. the negativity that he caused because of his cheating.. the therapy that still exists today even 20 years after his death is a testament that it certainly wasn't respect he was showing all of us.. It was disrespect when he was with her instead of being at my high school track meets.. or disrespectful when he would shorten our vacations so he could all of a sudden disappear as soon as he got home. It was disrespectful to us that he would spend time with her kids playing football instead of being home playing football with us.. It was disrespectful when he would spend time with her instead of spending time with us as a family.. We were only upstairs eating.. he would be downstairs on the phone getting ready to leave for the " Airport " to meet a client. The list could go on and on forever seeing that he was a serial cheater that cheated most of his 32 years of marriage while being married to both of my mothers.. See.. you may not see the harm that is being done.. but just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't actually happening.. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 AC, how awful for you! I'm so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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